Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

Be A Man	By : cowgirl65 Category: 1 through F > The Big Valley Views: 3052 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I in no way own The Big Valley. I make no money from writing this, just the personal satisfaction of (hopefully!) entertaining those who love the show as much as I do.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Several years later…

“Dammit, Jarrod!” Tom Barkley slammed his fist down on the desk in front of his oldest son. Years of not wanting to show weakness in front of the man who already thought him weak no matter how hard he tried helped Jarrod not to flinch. Instead, he just pretended to concentrate on the papers in front of him as Tom’s tirade continued. “While you were up in that hick town, defending some no-good rustler, Jordan managed to get a judge to back his actions! You’re a part of this family, boy, a Barkley, and our interests come first!”
“Mr. Lawson was wrongly accused, Father,” Jarrod said, not looking up. He was proud of how steady his voice was. “What was I going to do, stand aside and let them hang him, leave his wife and little girl all alone?”
“You could stand up and be a man, Jarrod!” Tom paced furiously across the room and turned to glare at his son. “This is what I get for giving in to your mother and letting you stay inside with your nose in a book instead of out there, working the ranch! Our ranch!”
Jarrod gritted his teeth. He hadn’t started to ‘stay inside with his nose in a book’ of his own free will. His father seemed to forget that his son had wanted to get back on the ranch, but it was Tom who had driven him away.
The senior Barkley stormed back over to lean across the desk. “You should have been out there, protecting your family’s land! What’s one more low-life dirt grubber compared to standing up for your rights?!”
Jarrod’s temper started to boil. Could his father really have forgotten that they were once the same as that low-life dirt grubber? Had the power and prestige of being Tom Barkley wiped away the memory of the hours of backbreaking labour when they were starting out, trying to make something of this land? Jarrod remembered. He remembered hoeing the soil as a small boy so they could grow enough to eat, pulling weeds until his back ached, going to bed tired and hungry with little to show for the hard work while Tom was out wheeling and dealing for the most profit. He met his father’s stare with an icy blue one of his own.
“I was standing up for my rights, Father,” he said hotly. “Mine as well as my client’s.”
“I am head of this family, Jarrod, and you are living under my roof,” Tom snarled. “So you just need to…”
Jarrod couldn’t take any more. He surged to his feet and met his father face to face. “I need to what? I’m not one of your lackeys; I’m my own man! I worked hard to get where I am without touching a cent of your money and I’ll be damned if I let you dictate my life! And if living under your roof means taking your orders…” Jarrod snagged his papers from the desk. “Well, that’s easy enough to fix.”
Tom grabbed Jarrod’s arm and stopped him from leaving the room. “We’re not done with this,” he warned. “I’ve to got meet with some of our neighbours to see if we can’t stop Jordan, but we’ll finish this when I get back.”
Jarrod pulled out of his father’s grip and walked out, not looking back. He went up to his room, closed the door and locked it for good measure.
Tom’s words echoed in his head. You could stand up and be a man, Jarrod! He rubbed his bruised ribs, what was left over from the beating he took up in Pinewood when he had to defend his client with his fists. He’d given as good as he got and prevented those men from lynching an innocent man before he could even have a trial. If that wasn’t standing up and being a man, then he wasn’t sure what was. But it would never be good enough in his father’s eyes, not unless he gave up his law practice and joined Nick in helping run the ranch.
Be true to yourself. Jarrod remembered overhearing Tom say that to Nick when Nick was criticized for turning good grazing land into orchards. Obviously, those words only applied when being true to one’s self meant doing what the great Tom Barkley wanted. Jarrod sighed. How could he really be true to himself anyway, when he had to hide and deny his true desires and feelings?
Jarrod pulled his suitcase out from under the bed, remembering when he’d made the decision to come home. The war had been long and gruelling, with only infrequent letters from his mother making it through. He and Josh had continued their illicit involvement until both men were promoted, Josh to command of a company of his own and Jarrod to the War Department in Washington. They never did develop a close emotional bond, but the horrors of war had made the harsh sex an essential outlet for both men.
The young lawyer was concerned when he learned his younger brother had enlisted as well and was relieved when he saw Nick’s name on a list of those mustered out at the conflict’s end. He was heartsick after all he’d seen and the court martial of his friend Matt only made it worse.
Jarrod started to pack his things as the bitter memory came back.
Julia Saxon, beautiful, talented and a spy for the South, set her sights on the handsome young attorney and when Jarrod rejected her advances, she turned instead to Matt Parker. He’d fallen for her wiles and unwittingly passed on sensitive information only to be charged with treason. Jarrod knew if it wasn’t for his attraction to men, he would have fallen for the sultry temptress and she never would have ensnared Matt. He didn’t consider that he would likely have been the one court martialed and he might have been the one ‘accidentally’ killed while cleaning his gun.
In the aftermath of the court martial, Jarrod received a letter from Nick. His brother sounded as sickened by war as he was and Jarrod couldn’t resist his plea to return with him to Stockton, hoping that his distinguished service and commendations would soften his father’s attitude.
But that wasn’t to be. He could have worked in his choice of firms back east and his devotion to the law would have been lauded. Instead, he only found scorn and derision from his father for his choices, a rancher brother who tried to understand why he would rather be in a courtroom than out on the range, a little sister who was in tears when her idolized father yelled at her brother and his mother saddened from being caught in the middle.
He couldn’t live under the same roof as his father any more, that had been made abundantly clear. His mother would be heartbroken again and Jarrod hated to do that to her, but he did have to try and be true to his beliefs. The valley’s fight with the railroad was important, but so was a man’s life. He could finally devote all his time to the matter at hand now that the trial was over but he still wasn’t going to give in.
Jarrod took his time gathering up his things. He wasn’t looking forward to telling his mother he was leaving, but knew he had to explain before he left. Jarrod snapped the suitcase shut, put on his coat and picked up his hat before going downstairs.
“Jarrod, are you leaving again so soon?” Victoria asked when she met him in the foyer.
Jarrod opened his mouth to explain when the door burst open. “Mr. Jarrod, Mrs. Barkley, come quick,” the trembling ranch hand told them. Jarrod and Victoria exchanged worried glances and followed the man outside. A wagon was pulled up in front of the house and the ranch foreman moved to block their way.
“Mrs. Barkley, you don’t need to…”
She pushed past him and when saw what was lying on the wagon bed, she gasped and buried her head against her son’s chest. Jarrod held his mother tightly as he stared unbelieving at the body of his father. Blood soaked the front of his shirt and his face was pale and waxy in death. At least someone closed his eyes,was Jarrod’s first thought.
“It was an ambush,” the foreman explained to the young man. “Your daddy was meeting with Jim Sample and a few others when the shooting started. It wasn’t anything other than cold-blooded murder, pure and simple. A few of us were close enough to the wagons, but the rest…” The man shook his head. “They never stood a chance.”
“What do you want us to do, Mr. Barkley?” the young hand asked respectfully.
“Take him upstairs to the first guest room,” Jarrod instructed before the man’s term of address truly sank in. Mr. Barkley. The title once reserved for his father had now been passed on to him. And Jarrod knew he didn’t deserve it. It was his fault his father was dead. If he had done what Tom wanted and concentrated on the fight with the railroad, this wouldn’t have happened. A stranger in Pinewood might have hung, but his father would still be here, alive. If he’d been the man his father wanted him to be…
Jarrod started shaking and quickly locked it down. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let himself fall apart. His mother needed him, his brother and sister would need him, the valley needed him. Unworthy as he was, it was his duty to step up into his father’s place.
But as he watched as the body of Tom Barkley was carried into the house, his heart cried out in anguish in spite of all the troubles they’d had between them. I’m sorry, Father,it wailed, I let you down. Oh, God, I’m so sorry.
- 7
- 8
- 9
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Be A Man