Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

Those Seven Confusing Weeks	By : IDontKnowWhatImDoing Category: S through Z > Sherlock (BBC) > Sherlock (BBC) Views: 3832 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock or any associated characters, and do not profit from this work.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Week 6
Over the next few days John was able to figure out the answers to some of his most pressing questions due what he heard on the other side of that door. Mainly he figured out what had Sherlock been playing at all these weeks, what he meant by 'something more' and even understanding Sherlock's reactions whenever John had gone mental. And by the end of the week John accepted that he felt something more than friendship for Sherlock.
But right at that moment, still standing there in the hallway, the sound of Sherlock quietly crying broke his heart.
It was the most heart-rending sound he had ever heard and he wanted to do nothing more than go back in, apologize until his throat ran dry, and try to make things right.
But he knew what would happen if he opened that door. If Sherlock saw that John had heard him, he would probably shut John out completely, closing off all his emotions for good. So John did the hardest thing he had ever done and silently went to his room.
And he also stopped trying to not think and began to finally understand Sherlock.
.. ..
As things in the flat returned to normal, very depressingly normal, John spent the time figuring out his flat mate and his own emotions.
The most obvious answer came to him that first night. What 'something more' had meant.
Hearing his flat mate suffering quietly made it very clear. This wasn't Sherlock wanting to just start a relationship or date John and it was something more than lovers. Sherlock, who prided himself on his ability not to care, had focused all of his emotions toward John. He very much cared. And it wasn't just his bottled up emotions, Sherlock had focused his mind onto John. John felt like a fool for not seeing it sooner. During those five weeks Sherlock had only taken on one small case but not once had he complained about needing a new one or that he was bored.
'Something more' was just about everything.
Understanding that made it easier for John to piece together what Sherlock had being trying to do. His friend, lacking the means to express those emotions verbally, did just what a Sherlock would do; research and observe.
It took him two days to understand that part but it made perfect sense when he did. It had seemed like Sherlock was flirting but being so uncharacteristic of his normal behavior John hadn't been able to understand why he had done it so bizarrely.
Sherlock faced with something unknown would have researched. And again it became so obvious John felt like an idiot for not picking up on it. John walked through what he imaged Sherlock had done and did a online search for flirting or how to show someone you're interested. It was all right there.
Show the person you've notice them, share their interests, smile, causal physical contact and one site even suggested taking the person out to lunch and sending texts. And poor Sherlock had gone a bit overboard. He had looked up what to do, did that until it failed, then went to the next step. And since John hadn't complained about the lunches and the touching, Sherlock had just stuck with those.
And a few days later John was able to make sense of all the times Sherlock had secluded himself. He now knew that Sherlock hadn't been angry at John's reactions but upset with himself for doing it wrong. The most brilliant man John had ever met was frustrated and angry at his inability to do something as simple as flirt. Which explained a little why Sherlock had broken down that night, he probably thought he had messed up so bad that he had pushed John away completely.
The conclusion of all this was that it had never been long term plan, he hadn't been playing or making a game of it as John had assumed. He had tried to win John over step by step and John felt like a complete prat for not seeing that.
After almost a week of sorting all this out John understood Sherlock better than he every thought possible. John also decided he would never let Sherlock know what he heard that night and he would keep letting Sherlock believe that John still thought it had all been some kind of game. To make him face those emotions would be cruel.
.. ..
Though that week had led to significant discoveries it was still damn confusing.
John couldn't get a handle on what he felt in return for Sherlock and he had no idea how to proceed to make things right between them.
His reaction to that kiss and what he had felt in his heart that night made it undeniably clear that he felt something beyond friendship. But mentally John still felt he wasn't gay. It wasn't like a switch he could turn over. He had never been with another man, hadn't ever been attracted to a man. Could he be comfortable being in a physical relationship with Sherlock? Did he even want that? This wasn't something that had a simple solution. It was going to take time. The only thing he knew at this point was how much he cared about Sherlock and that he was willing to explore that strange desire he had felt. But it scared the hell out of him.
Now what to do about it.
Everything had gone back to normal, as in the day before all this started normal. John didn't know if the damage from that night was irreparable.
Sherlock had taken on a new case the very next day and went right back to his previous treatment of him. Focusing on the case, basically ignoring him except to bounce ideas of him. And when the case was solved Sherlock would work on experiment or read in his chair, never the couch anymore, not acknowledging John unless he needed something. John knew he wasn't being malicious or enacting punishment. It was just easier for Sherlock to do this instead of dealing with everything that happened.
So the question was how could to make Sherlock deal with it without making him close up even more.

Present
As his embarrassment died down, John stood in the hallway listening to Sherlock tell Lestrade that they were leaving and would work on the case tomorrow. Ignoring the DI's rant, Sherlock walked out into the hall and gave John his best impression of looking guilty. It didn't last long as John's impression of being angry was failing miserably and they both got the giggles.
After their laughter quieted down John asked, "Are we even now?"
Sherlock stepped forward closing the distance between them, all pretense of quilt gone, "Do you regret what you did yet?"
"Do I ever?"
"Mmm." Ignoring all the people around them, Sherlock grabbed John's belt and pulled him closer. And getting lost in the moment John started to reach up to give Sherlock a kiss.
"Get the hell out of my crime scene!" Lestrade snapped from the doorway.
Shades of red reappeared on John's face. Grabbing his partner's hand, John roughly dragged him out while Sherlock cracked up again.
"Shut it, you big git."
.. ..
When they got into a cab Sherlock took John's hand and brought it to his lips.
"You really upset Lestrade this time, Sherlock."
"It was worth it." Sherlock started kissing the back of his hand.
"That was an important case wasn't it?"
"Possibly."
Warm breath around wet lips on his hand and Sherlock watching him with half closed eyes, John savored the sensation and appreciated his lover's attention. He closed his own eyes and started to feel all warm and fuzzy. The idea that Sherlock had ignored the case to focus on him made his heart ache. And the more he thought about it the more John wanted to tell Sherlock how much he loved him.
When he noticed the kisses had paused John opened his eyes and saw Sherlock giving him a look.
"You have no one to blame but yourself, you know."
Sherlock tried switching to a more menacing look.
"Tough shit. You're just going to have to deal with me feeling romantic." Paying no mind to Sherlock's theatrics, John moved closer to snuggle up against him.

Week 6 cont.
No more subtly, that's what John decided, straight to the point. One important conversation to get it all out. Anything else might lead to more confusion for both of them.
Sherlock was reading a journal in his usual chair so John pulled the other chair over and sat across from him.
"Sherlock?"
"Mmm?"
"Can I have you're full attention please."
Sherlock put the journal down. "Yes John?" Serious, expressionless, as if nothing at all had happened.
"I know how much you don't want to talk about this, I really do, but we need to."
His flat mate was starting to look uneasy. John knew he wouldn't have long before Sherlock bolted out of the room.
"Please. I need you to stay and listen to me. I promise I won't ever do this to you again. Okay?'
Mulling this over for a few seconds, Sherlock reluctantly replied, "Okay."
"I would like things to go back to the way they were."
The unease went away and Sherlock was back to detached, emotionless. "I thought they had."
John leaned in closer. "No not like this. I mean to what it was before I flipped out...Do you understand?"
He studied John for a bit, his eyes searching, reading him. "I think so."
"But I need to know if that's still possible."
John could see Sherlock struggling again, he shifted in his chair. Eventually he spoke, the words slowly drawn out, "It..is."
"I understand what you want with me..." He was losing him. Sherlock shifted again and ran his palms down his thighs.
"...and I obviously feel something for you but I don't know what that is yet."
Sherlock eyes darting around the room, probably calculating the quickest route to his bedroom.
John reached over and took both of Sherlock's hands into his own. Sherlock's attention snapped back and he looked at John. God he felt awful for putting him through this but he was so close to the end of what he wanted to say, "Let me finish, please."
Sherlock closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Letting it out slow, he kept his eyes shut, "Okay."
"I don't know yet but I would like...I want figure it out. I would like to see where it leads."
Opening his eyes, Sherlock looked so innocently take aback by that statement. "Really?"
"Yes Sherlock. I don't know if I will feel the same as you do but I do know that I care about you...Do you understand?"
And there was finally a hint of a smile. "Yes."
"You're going to have to be patient with me okay? I still might get nervous and maybe freak out a little, but I won't get angry again."
"Okay."
"But I need to know, if it ends up being less than what you want can you accept that?"
His smile grew, "Of course."
John returned a smile, "Now can we please just go sit on the couch and watch something on the telly together?"
He didn't get a reply but Sherlock got up pulling John with him and walked them to the couch. Without another word, they got comfortable together just as before, and John put his arm around Sherlock's back.
It was a good start and John only had to get through one more confusing week.
- 7
- 8
- 9
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Those Seven Confusing Weeks