The Gift

Chapter Eight

 

 The journey was long, and while Miles was prone to silence, we had plenty of time to talk.  “Tell me what it was like”, I asked.  “Before the blackout.”  Miles remained quiet for a long time.  “Things were a lot simpler.  And a lot more difficult.  I know, I know” he said, looking at my confused expression.  “That seems contradictory.  Some things, like communication and obtaining food, and other things we struggle with daily- those things were a lot simpler then.  But the upside to now is the sense of community.  Personally, I don’t feel it, I’m a bit of a loaner.  But my brother and many like him, are carving out a nice, simple life for themselves: together.  This life requires everyone to participate, be productive and share.  To interact and form true relationships that don’t use technology as a crutch.  That’s the best thing I can think of, anyway.” 

With nothing better to do, I continued to question Miles.  “What were you like before the blackout?”  This time the silence stretched on for what seemed like forever.  “Look, Lily, I’m not really that introspective.  I guess I’m the same person I was.  I’ve always lived by my own rules.  I was a Marine.  Did you know that?”  I shook my head, no.  “I was an instructor at Parris Island.  I trained new recruits.  And I was good at it.  Sebastian was a fellow instructor and my best friend.  A few weeks after the power went out I went AWOL, hell- everyone was going AWOL.  I walked from southern California to Illinois to find my brother and his wife and two kids.  I guess I was all Sebastian had, so he insisted on coming with me.  He never was as comfortable with solitude as me.”  Miles explained.  “Anyway, I wasn’t a great person, but I wasn’t a monster, either.”  “Stop it!”  I snarled.  “Stop calling yourself a monster.  You say you did horrible things but you must have had your reasons.  Sometimes good intentions can end badly.”  “Sweetheart, you have no idea how right you are about that.  They can end very badly.  And they did.  You say I’m not a monster, but I’ve created one.  So what does that make me?” 

This time it was my turn to be silent.  “I don’t know.”  I finally admitted.  “But not a monster.  Monster’s don’t have a conscience and you have to have a conscience to feel regret.  Where there is regret, there is the possibility of redemption.  That’s the journey you’re really on, Miles, the road to redemption.”  “Don’t get philosophical, Lily.  It’s a long enough ride as it is.”  We rode in silence once more.