Through the Looking Glass

Chapter 9: My Cause

Some day, when she's old enough,
She's gonna start askin' questions about him.
Some kid at school brings his Dad for show an' tell,
An' gets her little mind a-wonderin'
Where's my Daddy?
Do I have one?
Does he not love me like you do?
-Rachel Proctor, "Me and Emily", Ancient Earth song

>>>

When Emily had been born Rafe had doubted that Beka could do anything to her to make it right. That the genetics inherited from her father would overrun her upbringing and they’d be dealing with a Junior Drago-Kazov on their hands.

His niece surprised him though.

She was a sweet, bright girl who was sometimes rough around the edges, just like her mother. There were just certain times where he was sure that her father was shining right through though.

That smirk of hers being one of them.

No one in the Valentine family could pull off a look like that. Then there were her glares, and snorts, the lifting of one eyebrow; either the one or both along with the tilting of her head and a superior smirk. It was things like that that Rafe couldn’t put aside, even if she was half Valentine there was still another half of her running around out there somewhere.

Probably killing something.

The reminder of her other half was also very much there within those boneblades. When Emily had been younger she had worn jackets that could cover them up, but as she got older she got more outspoken. It was uncomfortable for her blades to be restricted and confined where she couldn't flare them, it annoyed her so she shoved her boneblades through every jacket and long-sleeved shirt she owned to make a space for them and so they could flex and twitch as much as they wanted.
Rafe had served on with Beka after their father had retired, until he had pulled one con too many and Beka told him to either quit or get out. He was good at what he did so he left.
He could have grifted for all he was worth or went back to Infinity Atoll, his step-mother did tell them that there were places in her business for them.

Infinity.

Their new home away from home.

Five years ago they had been doing a supply run to the tropical paradise when what should cross their father's eye? A red head. And unlike all before her, she seemed to have a genuine interest in Ignatius and also in his children and grandchild.

Once they were married, she was the mother Beka and Rafe never had, and the grandmother as well. Emily had come as a surprise to her but she had quickly grown accustomed to the child. Ignatius had retired with her on Infinity Atoll. What he would make as a partner in his new wife's ocean-front business was more than what the Valentines picked up from cargo and would make the debts disappear quicker. Repairs to the Maru became a hobby, but then a necessity when Beka had decided to go back into the cargo and salvage business. She had never been fully comfortable on a planet and missed space. Even with the new house, she still liked to stay on the Maru, commuting over for family dinners and work.

When she wanted to take Emily and go back to salavage, Rafe went with her to keep an eye out and to appease their father. Ignatius worried about her but bequeathed her the Maru anyway after Rafe said he'd go with her. Relations between father and son were still awkward but they were making up some ground.

Things had went well for a year, Beka seemed to be back in her element and Emily loved seeing the stars closer than they had been on Infinity. But then Rafe couldn't resist getting back to his cons and Beka had told him to shape up or ship out. He'd be back in a few months to check on her, he'd said. She had a steady crew, they were good people, but whether they would change before he saw her again, he didn't know. But it was to be more than a few months before Rafe would see his sister again. It would be years…

>>>

“It’s coming in hot boss.”

“Just hold it together down there Harper!”

“I’m trying but they’re like thisclose to blowing out our fuel tank.”

Beka glanced up at the screen and saw Harper holding his fingers right together.

“You know what I need.”

“I don’t think I can give you any more psl.”

“Just do it. Find a way.”

If there was one thing that annoyed Beka to no end it was a botched job and escaping from a group of enemy ships. They didn’t have a haul and if she kept getting shot at she wouldn’t be able to pay for anything. She could if she had to, but putting things on her tab at Vasily’s was something she liked to avoid. After Dad got himself together, he had started trying to get the debts paid off that had accumulated over the years. The credit was almost back to a decent place, but adding onto it was something Beka liked to avoid.

But now it looked like there might not be a choice…unless...

“Yes! Seamus Harper does it again, suuuuuuuper genius!”

Beka had to laugh as she felt a boost from the engine room that propelled them quicker to the nearest slip point and away from the Nietzscheans.

She loved that quirky engineer.

Who knew that you could find someone with his skill coming from Earth. It was probably one of the best things Bobby had ever done for the Maru. Lately the man had been getting on her nerves. Bringing the Maru out of slipstream, Beka slid her chair back and looked behind her to her "co-captain".

"So, how does it look?"

"Not that bad, the solenoid valve looks a little battered though Mom."

"It's better than the fuel tank."

"Yep." Emily hopped up from her seat and ran over to Beka who hauled her onto her lap.

"You're getting so big," said Beka hugging her daughter. It was hard to believe that she was eight-years-old already, especially when she looked eleven. Her older looks would definitely have to be related to her half-Nietzschean status. Beka had heard that they often grew much quicker than human children.

"Want me to go tell Harper or do you just want to call him?"

"Run and tell him then, I think he wanted to show you how to do something on one of the parts too."

Emily wrapped her arms around Beka and hugged her again before running off in a storm only to practically run into Bobby on her way out.

"Hey, watch it brat!"

Beka shot him a glare before turning to the window as Emily stuck her tongue out at him as the cockpit door hissed shut.

"That kid of yours is always in the way."

Beka turned to face him angrily, "She is not in the way!"

"She is Beka, I'm always almost tripping over her, she doesn't know when to get the hell out of the way."

"Maybe you should be the one to watch where you're going."

"Oh come on you saw her blast out of here, like she even cares anyway, you do realize she's Nietzschean right?"

"And you do realize she's my daughter right?"

"Beka, you know I lo-"

"No, don't. Just don't. You want me you get her too, nothing comes between me and my baby. You haven't even tried with her or made the effort to get to know her."

"Hey I tried. In the beginning I did, but she's got some warped notion of her father, I don't know what you've been filling her head with..."

"Excuse me? Filling her head?"

"Aw Bek come on, you were clearly so traumatized..."

"I was not traumatized!"

"...not thinking straight to get rid of it. She's Nietzschean!"

"I'm not fighting with you about this again!"

>>>

"Stupid, idiot Bobby..." Emily muttered as she stopped eavesdropping and wandered into the Engine Room. She could hear ever word said through the metal door; she always heard everything Bobby said about her.

"Guess we'll be complaining about him together again huh?"

Emily looked up as Harper jumped down from the ladder and punched in a few commands on the keyboard beside it.

"Hey Harper."

"What'd the steroid case do now?"

Harper sat down against a rail and waited for Emily to do the same beside him. They had started their own 'I hate Bobby Jensen' fan club once they had found out they shared that in common and had grown closer because of it. Sure Bobby was the one who offered Harper passage off Earth on Beka's ship but it still didn't mean that the engineer had to like the guy. He was only nice to Beka because he needed her ship for his own reasons, he had no qualms about pushing either Harper or Emily around.

"Am I in the way?"

"What? Of course you're not, where’d ya hear that?”

Emily tapped her ears. "Good hearing."

"Right." Harper looked down at the boneblades adorning his little buddy's arms. Of course she'd have better hearing, hell all of her sense were heightened because of what she was. When he'd first met her he was a bit wary, sure she was the smallest Nietzschean he'd ever seen but the stories he heard...three year olds were trained to rip a grown man's throat out. But then Harper had found out that she was Beka's daughter.
Half-Nietzschean. He was more contented in knowing that she wasn't some princess of some pride that Bobby kidnapped her from and who would come seeking bloody revenge on the Maru.
Emily, despite half her genes, was a great kid and Harper found himself getting along with her just fine.

"I wish Grandpa was here. He never would have let Bobby stay and Mom wouldn't be with him."

"What does she see in him anyway?"

Emily shrugged.

"So on another topic," said Harper, "I hear your Grandpa's on Infinity?"

"Uh huh, with my Grandma, she's not my real Grandma, but Grandpa married her when I was three. She's nice, and pretty too."

"Do they surf?"

"Surf?"

"I've always wanted to try that. If we ever take a trip to visit your grandparents, we should learn how to do it. You take a board and ride the waves."

"Waves, that reminds me, the solenoid valve's being funny after that run."

"Tell the boss I will be right on it."

"You better be kid, or I can always shove you back on Earth." Emily and Harper looked up to see Bobby standing at the entrance with his arms crossed. "What the hell are you doing just sitting there? Get your ass back to work on this ship."

"You're not the boss of him. And this isn't your ship, it's my mom's so that makes Harper her crewmember."

"And what are you now? his protector?"

"Hey you know what? why don't I go get those valves fixed huh? And why don't you go see what your mom's up to, huh Em?" said Harper trying to diffuse the tension that filled the room as Emily and Bobby stared each other down.

Harper let out a relived breath as Emily left the engine room. He tensed again as Bobby stepped closer to him. The larger man might not have been as strong as a Dragan but Harper never liked taking more chances than necessary with those who could put him in a body cast.
He'd disliked Bobby when they first met and the more time he spent with him, the more he hated him; the insults, the cuffs upside the head, and him strutting around like he owned the place. Harper had had more than enough of that on Earth, whatever Bobby threw at him was nothing...but the guy was still big and scary and could probably convince Beka to go back to Earth and dump him back there.

"I own you like I own this ship."

"This ship belongs to Beka."

"And Beka belongs to me."

"Hopefully one day she'll wise up." Before Bobby could respond Harper was up the ladder and gone.

Glaring up at where Harper vacated, Bobby walked out of the engine room and to the cargo bay, he had a weapons shipment to check up on. Once there the inspection went uninterrupted and perfect. Nothing had been damaged in the firefight. Finished with the crates he turned only to see small shadow leaning against a cargo pod, her arms folded.

"Do you always have to be such a jerk to him?"

"He's just some mudfoot."

"Like I'm just some halfbreed?" asked Emily stepping closer to him. "Beka's my mom. You're not getting rid of me."

"No one's ever going to be good enough for you will they? You think he's going to walk through that door? Not likely. The closest thing you're ever going to have is a step-father or nothing at all."

"My dad could break you in half."

Bobby's jaw tightened. What the hell had Beka been telling this kid? It was time for someone to set her straight. He bent down so he was eye level with Emily.

“Listen to me closely kid. Your father was a rapist. Held your mother down while he had his way with her. Remember Earth? That was a Drago-Kazov slave planet. Your father’s Pride. Don’t think you mean much here. You were a mistake that should never have happened to your mother. She’s too good to have something like you happen to her."

Bobby watched as disbelief flashed across Emily’s face before a deep seated look of pure anger and loathing took over.

Emily balled up her fist and hit him. Hard.

>>>

Bobby grunted in pain as he was tossed down the ramp at gunpoint, cracked ribs and all.

“I never, EVER, want to see you again ever! How dare you say that to her!”

Beka was seething. When she had landed the Maru on Talikov Drift and came out of her quarters after finishing a shower, she couldn't find either Bobby or Emily and had started looking all over the Maru only to catch the tail end of what someone she supposedly cared for hissed at her child. How dare he. She had moved deeper into the cargo bay to see Emily slam her fist into Bobby's chest with a resonating crack.

"If it's not broken you can walk!"

Beka had then opened the hatch and kicked him off the Maru.

“C’mon Bek you...you know it's true.”

“No it’s not. You have no clue what you’re talking about. You once told me that I needed to pick a cause. Well I have. My daughter is my cause. Everything I do, I do for her. To make a life for her. You could never understand that. All you ever saw were boneblades.”

"And what do you think she is? Innocent? No Nietzschean is innocent. And I-I don't know what kind of idealized fantasy you have of her father or what the hell you've told her..." Bobby held his chest and took a few breaths.

"He was different."

"You keep telling yourself that honey, you're going to get burned."

>>>

Beka marched angrily through the Maru to the cockpit. She wanted off this drift as fast as she could get the engines running. She had a feeling that Bobby wouldn't be able to accept Emily, she had hoped he would but in the end he just ended up disappointing her like every other man she had been in a relationship with, which wasn't many.
Storming into the cockpit, Beka caught sight of Emily sitting at one of the stations staring blankly at the screen in front of her, Beka's anger dissolved as she saw the unshed tears in her baby's eyes.

"Em?" Beka walked over and kneeled in front of her resting a hand on Emily's knee.

“Is it true?”

“What?”

“What Bobby said. About you and my dad.”

Beka felt a new anger towards Bobby well in her chest as her daughter looked at her with a heartbroken expression. She had never told Bobby what had happened, it was no one's business but her own. All that there was to know was that her daughter’s father was obviously a Nietzschean. Once said, everyone automatically assumed that the worst had happened. And they were all so very wrong.

“Bobby’s a liar. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Then what happened?”

“Your father, he….he didn’t force me into anything. We wanted each other and later on I found out that I was going to have you.”

"I'm part Drago-Kazov. They ruined Earth, pushed Harper around. I saw it. Is that what I am?"

"You're a Valentine. And Valentines are strong. We don't let anyone talk down to us. You're also my daughter. Yes, I was young when I had you but look at you. Look how you turned out. Emmy I love you, I wouldn't trade you for the world. You're my constant. My cause."

Beka nursed a hurt expression as Emily pulled away from her and tried to curl up further into the chair. If she didn't want reassurance then what...

"Honey, what do you want?"

Emily lifted her wet blue eyes to meet her mother's. "I want my dad."

Beka's shoulders dropped as she watched her daughter sadly. As much as she wanted to, this was one thing that couldn't be made better with a hug. She knew Emily would ask about him and she didn't disappoint. The abridged version when the questions started was that he was Nietzschean and that they went their separate ways before they knew about the pregnancy. Back then it had been easier, Emily had a male role model in her grandfather but after they had left to do salvage...

Beka knew that her daughter thought about her father but she hadn't realized just how much until now.

"If we found him," started Emily, "Even if I couldn't talk to him, just to look at him, even once."

Beka laughed weakly. "Look in the mirror. You took more from him then you did from me..." she trailed off as a corner of her mind picked up an old memento left behind. "I'll be right back."

Emily wiped her eyes harshly after her mom left the cockpit and uncurled a bit from the chair. Her muscles were starting to get stiff from being in such an awkward position. She set about swinging her legs over the edge until Beka came back in holding something black.

Kneeling back down in front of her, Beka handed her the object. "Here."

Emily looked at it oddly as she took it and shook it out.

A leather jacket.

As she inspected it, she knew it was much too large to be her mom's. She furrowed her brow when she got to the sleeves. There were three holes torn out of each one.

"It was your dad's."

Beka watched as Emily slid off the chair and wrapped the jacket around her, judging its size by feel. The leather than had once been wrapped around her father's shoulders, his arms...

Emily wrapped her arms around herself and blinked rapidly. "He wouldn't even want me would he? I'm half-human."

Beka’s own tears started to cloud her vision as she pulled Emily into her arms. "I don't know baby, I don’t know."