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Beyond Here Lies Darkness	By : LotornoMiko Category: M through R > Once Upon A Time Views: 3726 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Once Upon A Time fandom. Nor do I make any money off of it or this story.

Chapter List
- 1-One
- 2-Two
- 3-Three
- 4-Four
- 5-Five
- 6-Six
- 7-Seven
- 8-Eight
- 9-Nine
- 10-Ten
- 11-Eleven
- 12-Twelve
- 13-Thirteen
- 14-Fourteen
- 15-Fifteen
- 8
- 9
- 10
Killian Jones, the man known also as Captain Hook, hasn't had a lot of true happiness in his long and storied life. There's been more downs than ups, a string of losses following one right after the other in a short amount of time. He's lost his country, his family, and most of all Killian's lost his heart. Hurt by the loss of each of these, he's long given up on life, on friendships, on hope. Thinking true happiness impossible for the likes of one such as him, Killian had been living for one reason alone.

Revenge.

It's a revenge he's been long chasing after since the day his Mila died, since the day she was cruelly murdered by an evil Killian thought he knew. But a week into his prison as host to the Dark One, and Killian Jones realizes he has understood very little where vengeance and evil was concerned. Never mind that he just might be wrong about just who---what had truly killed Mila that day, Killian now knows his hope hadn't truly been as gone as he had thought, that it had been even closer than he had wanted to acknowledge. And just as he was finally ready to accept it back into his life, to acknowledge the woman who was his hope's representation brought to life, Killian Jones fears all chance of it is lost. Because how can a woman who is so hurt and afraid, so scarred by her experiences, still be that hope to him, when it was Killian's thirst for revenge that had led her to this state? When it was Killian, unwitting though he might have been, that had hand delivered her to a monster intent on possessing every bit of Emma Swan's soul?

Killian doesn't think it possible, doesn't think he has any right to want Emma to be his hope. He can't imagine her doing anything but spitting in his face, the woman most likely beyond wanting to help Killian, to heal him, to be his friend and more. He doesn't think he even has the right to feel sorry for himself, and yet Killian can't quite stifle it. Because he now knows how stupid he has been, how revenge isn't worth it, how he should have picked Emma and the second chance at love and life she could have been for him.

Now he's left with everything in shambles, Emma perhaps the most broken piece of all. Listening to her cry her heart out, her face buried against his chest. Killian's not wearing a shirt for Emma to cling to, her nails digging into his skin. He doesn't protest that stinging bite of pain, just sits there statue still. Furious with himself, with the darkness, with his revenge blinding him to everything until it was too late. He's again letting hope die, not daring to let himself believe there might be a chance of something, anything for him, let alone a chance for a future WITH Emma.

He just stares straight ahead, inwardly flinching with every gut wrenching sob Emma lets out. Occasionally his hand lifts, but always Killian stops himself from going that final step and actually touching Emma Swan. He's too concerned with what rights he doesn't have, to recognize that she needs comfort even when it's his body that has been used to hurt her. He feels dirty, wretched, unfit to lay any kind of touch on Emma Swan. Even when an undemanding touch is exactly what she needs in the moment.

Emma Swan cries herself out, and when she finally stops, Killian doesn't immediately register the silence. He's too busy comparing the state he's found Emma in, the things she's suffered, the damage that has been done to their chance, recognizing it as a moment just as heart wrenching as the day he had lost his Mila to the darkness that had possessed Rumplestiltskin. The pain is so similar to that time, that Killian almost can't bear it. His heart might actually irreparably break if it wasn't for the darkness keeping it together with it's firm grasp. A tear actually slips down his own cheek, but Killian doesn't do anything more. Not until he realizes Emma has quieted down, has actually slumped against him. Killian thinks her asleep, and starts to shift away from her, though the pirate doesn't intend to go very far.

The renewed dig of her nails in his chest startles the pirate into realizing the woman is still awake. Awake and not wanting to lose the only connection she currently has, the only person Emma has been allowed to see that wasn't the Darkness or Cora come to torment her. She might be angry with the pirate, might even hate him for what he has helped facilitate, but Emma Swan also wants so badly to have a friend. An ally, someone who is not intent on hurting her in some way. Emma wants comfort, might even be wanting some kind of hope, though she's too scared to believe in that anymore.

Emma's not getting what she needs, but at least she's not being made to submit to the things she hates. It's Killian she clings to, the pirate who looks at her, who listens to her cry without making demands. Without getting turned on, without jumping on her, and getting drunk off her tears. The look in Killian's eyes is one of concern, and has nothing to do with lust. He's not smirking at her, or worse yet smiling with cruel intentions. He's not forcing her to feel things, revulsion, fear. He's not using everything in reach to turn her body against her, not whispering huskily in her ear. He's not doing any of those things, and for the first time Emma feels able to truly breathe. Though the tension doesn't leave her, Emma not daring to believe that the Darkness is gone for good.

Not daring to believe, not wanting hope to build, Emma Swan can only accept the moment for what it is. A much needed break, a brief respite to a torment that has been endless. So unused to being able to take a moment truly to herself, Emma is not sure just what to do first. Sleep might be the most demanding of her needs, Emma beyond exhausted in body, mind and soul. Even as her body screams for it, Emma refuses to truly rest. She's simply too fearful, not wanting to wake to the nightmare that is her new reality. Some part of her is unsure she's not already sleeping, her mind spinning a fanciful dream to soothe it's troubled state.

Awake or asleep, Emma fears the Darkness' return. Fears the moment Hook's eyes will be swallowed up with that soulless black. Some part of her knows it's inevitable, that this moment with Hook can't last. So she digs her ragged nails into him, trying to hold him to her through any means.

The pain draws a hiss out of Killian, though Emma's nails are the least he can endure. She's owed a lot more when it comes to dealing him pain, Killian feeling the weight, the debt of his and the Darkness' sins combining. The guilt of it all is almost enough to make the pirate sink back under the weight of it, to lose himself to the suffocating presence of the inky black oblivion the darkness had tried to drown Killian in. Shame faced and guilty, Killian doesn't let the darkness devour him completely only because of Emma. For her, Killian worried and fearing, trying to wrack his brain on how to help save her.

It doesn't come immediately to him. More of his blood is spilled, Emma merciless in her need. But a glimmer of a plan sparks amidst the pain, Killian ready to sacrifice anything, even his own existence to see this woman to safety. He doesn't care of the consequences, doesn't think beyond that cold sea of drowning darkness as the worst thing that monster will do. He's ready to be the hero Hook never was, ready to give Emma her chance, her hope of a future, a life beyond the darkness' grasp.

Emma finally gets the touch she's been yearning for, but it's not anywhere as comforting as she had hoped. Because she can sense the demand in it, the tension that lay under the surface of it's skin. Hook might not be looking for sex, but there is something that he does want. Something that makes Emma flinch to hear it, the woman digging her nails in and staring at the rivulets of blood that run down Hook's chest.

Killian hisses, actually transfer his hand from the gentle urging grip on her shoulder, to something more forceful as he tries to pry her hands off him. Emma fights him, and Killian doesn't know if she's hearing what he's saying. She's not even looking up at him, as though she's given up so completely, she won't even consider his plan.

But Killian is persistent, desperate in his need to save her. Dragging her hands away, both her wrists held prisoner in his grip, Killian all but shouts at Emma.

"I'm going to get you out of here!"

Unblinking is her stare, her look one of total disbelief. But at least she's finally stopped fighting, might even be willing to truly listen to his words. She might not be the only one listening, Killian well aware of the monster that hides in his body. A creature of pure evil that has been silent for too long, Killian not knowing it's game, but fearing it's return.

Well aware that even the softest of whispers will be heard for the darkness itself is inside Killian's head, the pirate still tries to lay out a plan of action to Emma. Telling her of the one hope he has, the only chance she might have to get away for good from the darkness. Speaking of the town's boundary, Killian holding out hope that the magic that kept everyone basically trapped in Storybrooke would be a curse strong enough to cripple the very dark itself.

Cripple but not kill, Killian not knowing of anything that could do away with the Dark One for good. Because it was an evil existence, something sprung to life not just because of magic, but because of the wicked and impurities of man's heart on a whole. An ancient evil made real by the darkness of not just the first man, but of all the humans to have existed through out time. And with each heart turned to darkness, the monster had only grown more powerful, until there was no hope of destroying it, only controlling it for a time.

But that control wasn't lasting, the darkness not something that could actually be tamed. It merely bid it's time, waiting, watching, angry and ready. None of the dagger's holders had been able to outlive let alone outlast the darkness. Always it found a way, and it's retribution was fast, furious, and without mercy. Even if it had to change bodies to do it. Killian knows his body is not invaluable, that the darkness will discard him like trash if it meant it was one step closer to getting a choke hold on Cora.

Killian fears that day is coming and soon. The darkness will kill Cora, even if it has to destroy the witch from the inside out, and Emma won't be safe no matter what body the darkness ultimately ends up in. She's not safe even now, because Killian is sure he can feel the darkness moving around inside him. That faint whisper he hears, might very well be it's laugh, urging Killian to hurry in response to it.

The same can't be said about Emma, the woman just tiredly shaking her head. She knows better than to try to run, knows hope has no place in a world were the darkness exists. She won't even consider the hope Hook tries to give her, or the chance it gives her to save herself. Not when there's so much that will go wrong, Storybrooke itself in danger, the people, her friends, her family, her son all in danger. It's they who will be made to pay, they who will suffer should Emma try to run. It's not Cora, or Regina she fears the wrath of, but the darkness itself, Emma not believing that a simple dagger can truly control it.

Let alone a man, any of them, but especially Hook. He's no stranger to dark impulses, ruthless enough to do just about anything to get what he wants. He's proven that with the killing of Rumplestilstkin, with unleashing the monster from the one vessel that had been able to hold it, from a mind that had finally learned to suppress the worst of it. Emma doesn't understand why Hook would do this, why he would go so far for a revenge that seems meaningless. She doesn't know about Mila, about the history shared with Rumplestiltskin, or the love both men had lost. Emma's too exhausted to even try to think straight, to wonder what was the truth behind Hook's revenge.

Nor does she give proper thought to the reason behind Hook's now desperate need to save her. She can sense his frustration, his lack of understanding in regards to her own dull reaction. He might even be scared by it, by the fact that Emma is not leaping at the chance to escape the monster that is the darkness made real. But he doesn't give up, actually tries to drag her up off the bed.

Unsteady on her feet, Emma actually sways, feeling her legs tremble as something unpleasant slides down her body. She's covered in sweat and blood and things best left unmentioned, Emma feeling absolutely filthy and no longer able to stand it.

"I want to take a bath."

It's as if Hook doesn't hear her at first, still trying his best to stir her interest into his scheme. He's actually talking as if Emma hadn't said anything, still trying to drag her away from the bed, and only her struggles keep him from picking her up off her feet.

"It's the land without magic." Hook is saying. "The Dark One won't be able to follow you there. It'll be stripped of it's power, maybe even it's life...maybe..."

Hook doesn't finish his thought, but Emma can guess at what he's not saying. Because Hook wants to be free of the monster inside him, might even be willing to die to get away from it. Willing but still holding onto that slim chance of hope that it won't come to that, that there will be a way, some opportunity to both live and be free of it. But there's no escaping the darkness, not once it's got it's claws set so deep in you.

Unable to hope, just barely able to care, Emma's able to wrench herself free of Hook's grip by reminding him of her family. Of the things the darkness will no doubt do to them, of how it will make them wish and beg for death. Emma loves them too much to risk them, especially on just a chance of the darkness being destroyed.

Made to acknowledge that there are consequences to any actions they might take, Hook can only stand there with a frustrated look in his eyes. "Then what do we do?" He asks. "How do we defeat it?"

"We don't." Emma says with a voice that is dead of all emotions. Hook seems to flinch in response to that, and before he can say anything, argue against it, Emma turns away. She's in no mood to listen to Hook form plan after plan, has no desire to be part of his hope. Nor does she want to dash it, taking no joy in watching hope die in another's eyes. There's not much room for joy of any kind in Emma's life these days, happiness a luxury in short demand.

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To be continued...

First want to say I'm probably not back to regular updates. I'm struggling with things offline, medical stuff and major depression mostly. I've been depressed for a while now, and it felt like a mood that would be perfect to work on something dark. But I struggled with this chapter anyway, and it went through some rewrites, and I'm still not completely happy. It's short too, so I may come back and fiddle with it, try to add to the ending paragraphs. It took me about a week to get this written somewhat to my satisfaction, and I still worry it's not good enough.

Much thanks to Zerousy and xearthfaex who got to look over one of the earlier versions of this....sorry I trashed what you two read. Extra special thanks to Zerousy for her support, and chatting with me about my ideas for this story. I've told you a million times, but the support and feedback is so very much appreciated!

One of the first two attempts on this chapter, after Hook says something about "I'm going to get you out of here." those attempts had a lot of talking. But I felt like it really sucked, and instead ended up with a chapter with very little actual dialogue. I do feel this chapter ended up better without the parts that I trashed. So Hurrah for that!

------Michelle
- 8
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Beyond Here Lies Darkness