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Safe Haven in the Chaos	By : IdrilsSecret Category: S through Z > The Walking Dead Views: 6517 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the walking dead or any of the characters. No money is being made from the writing of these stories

Chapter List
- 93
- 94
Chapter 95 I Belong With You

Daryl and Aaron needed a break from the rebuild. Alexandria had a long way to go, but every day they were a little bit closer to getting back to normal. The biggest worry was food to feed all the people that now called the town home. Winter was fast approaching, and they needed to be ready. So, Daryl and Aaron decided to go on a run and see what they could find.

Daryl was struggling to get his bike started when Aaron approached. He stood by and watched him a moment, sensing Daryl’s frustration.

“You sure you want to take your bike? We could take a car instead,” Aaron offered.

“I ain’t taking no damn car. My bike’s fine. She’s just being temperamental this morning,” Daryl complained. “Besides, Dog doesn’t like riding in a car.” Whenever they went scavenging, Daryl always took Dog with him. It was added security. And Dog was a runner. He really didn’t like being confined in a car.

A couple more kicks, and the bike started up. Daryl smiled in victory. Aaron was about to climb on when he noticed a piece of paper on the ground. It was folded up, but it looked like a hand-drawn map. It must have been Daryl’s. When Aaron climbed onto the bike, he slipped the map into one of the pockets of Daryl’s backpack. Then he wrapped his arms around Daryl’s waist and smiled contentedly. There was nothing better than riding on the bike, being close to him as they sped down the highway. Aaron hadn’t been on the bike in a long time, so it was nice to go on this outing, just the two of them.

They got off the road and took a dirt path that ran through the woods. Dog ran out in front of them, as though he knew where they were going. After a little while, Daryl slowed and came to a stop. They climbed off the bike, and Daryl hid it in the forest’s undergrowth. Then they walked along the path until they came across a fallen tree.

Aaron examined it. “This is just what we need for the wall,” he said, looking around at the existing forest. The trees here were still young and skinny. “Actually, I think we can harvest quite a few trees from this area. This was a good find. Alden will be pleased.”

“Alden, huh?” Daryl wondered.

“Yeah, he’s taken it upon himself to head up the construction. He actually knows a lot about it. And the people like him. They’re happy to take his directions,” Aaron told him.

“That’s always a plus. So, it seems like you and Alden have become friends,” Daryl hinted.

Aaron rolled his eyes, even though he knew Daryl was only teasing him. “It’s not like that. Alden is as straight as they come. We got to know each other better when we were spying on the Whisperers. He was actually asking me all kinds of questions about raising a baby. I’m giving him some of Gracie’s baby stuff that I stashed out in the garage. I still have her stroller and the crib, as well as some baby toys that I thought he could use for Adam.”

“That’s a great idea. I’m glad you found someone who can use it,” Daryl agreed.

Aaron watched him skeptically. “What do you care whether I get rid of that stuff or not?”

“If we clean out that corner of the garage, and then I can store more bike parts. The old girl ain’t what she used to be, and some parts are getting harder to find.”

Aaron shook his head and laughed as he turned back to the tree. “Sometimes I think you love that bike more than me.”

Daryl surprised Aaron by grabbing him at the waist and pulling him against his body. “Never,” he whispered seductively and kissed Aaron hard. When they separated, their eyes met and an unspoken bond passed between them.

Daryl broke away first. “Alright, we made one good find. Now, let’s do some hunting.” He started walking along the forest path.

Aaron collected himself and fell into step beside Daryl. “It might be slim pickins’. Since the horde came through, most animals have either left or were killed.”

“Maybe they didn’t come through this way,” Daryl said with hope, though he could tell by the massive amount of crushed undergrowth that they had been this way. The town was desperate for food, so they had to at least try.

They headed downhill until they came to the river, and started traveling beside its rushing waters. They walked a long way in silence. Aaron was behind Daryl, but he could tell by the way he carried himself that he was hesitant, almost like he was pushing himself to go further. Daryl was a quiet man, but not like this, not with Aaron.

When Daryl stopped and gazed across the river, Aaron came up beside him. “Is everything alright?”

Daryl didn’t answer at first, just kept staring. Across the river were the remnants of a warn path that led into the forest. Daryl kept staring at it. “Carol used to meet me here, back when I left the group … after … Rick,” he stammered.

It had been several years since that tragic day, the day Rick died. Back then, Daryl refused to believe he was gone. So much so that he took off and traveled along this very river, looking for him. Seeing Daryl’s reaction to being back here made Aaron wonder if he’d ever given up on the idea that Rick survived the blast and the collapse of the bridge. No one thought it was possible, no one but Daryl. The fact that they never found a body was what drove Daryl to keep searching for him.

“I knew you were down this way,” Aaron said. “But I never knew where.”

“I’d been all up and down this river,” Daryl said as he started walking again.

Aaron walked at his side now. “So, Carol used to check up on you?”

Daryl nodded. “She used to bring me a pack of supplies every now and again. She’d tell me about the Kingdom or Alexandria or Hilltop. When Maggie left Hilltop, she tried to pull me back in by telling me I could be their new leader, but I was nowhere near being in that state of mind. It was a really dark time for me. I had lost everything.” Daryl paused and glanced quickly at Aaron, another thing he’d lost at the time.

“It was hard on me too,” Aaron admitted, understanding Daryl’s brief gesture.

“Yeah, but you had Gracie and … Jesus. You were able to move on.” Daryl glanced at the river again. “I was pissed that everyone gave up on Rick so quickly. Michonne used to look for him in the beginning, but even she gave up on the idea that he was still out there.”

“We lost our leader and a good man, but we had to move on. That’s just how the world works,” Aaron said.

“I lost more than that. I lost my brother. Rick had my back more times than I could count. I felt I owed it to him to find him, even if it was just his body. I couldn’t stand the thought of him wandering this earth in those old worn out cowboy boots and . . .” Daryl stopped to redirect his thoughts. “I found countless walkers that had washed downstream. They stretched for miles, but I never found Rick, not even his stupid boots.”

“And what about now? Do you still think he’s alive after all these years?” Aaron wondered.

Daryl shrugged his shoulders and looked Aaron in the eyes. “A part of me does.”

So that was why they were here, Aaron thought to himself. Daryl hadn’t been here in a long time, and he wanted to check just once more. The Whisperers had been part of the reason any of this happened to begin with. They didn’t know it back then, but the herd that destroyed their camp, the one that cost Aaron his arm, and that Rick led onto the bridge that day, it had been a part of Alpha’s horde.

Daryl sighed deep and turned back to the path. “Come on. I want to show you something.”

They moved on further down the river until they came to the remnants of a camp. There were a couple walls made from wood pallets, and a tattered old tarp that used to be the roof. Daryl stood there, unmoving, just gazing at the site.

“You used to live here,” Aaron said, and Daryl nodded.

“I’d settle into an area and search a perimeter around it. Then I would move on to another location,” Daryl said.

But Aaron knew the fact that Daryl had made a structure here was because he considered it his home base. He figured the reason was because it was close to the place where Carol used to meet him. He was keeping in contact with the old group through her.

Daryl crouched down and entered the old shack. His pots and pans were still there. And the firepit still held a few charred pieces of wood from the last fire that burned there. Aaron stood by and looked at the set up. He wondered how Daryl could have lived like this, knowing that Alexandria was so close, a place with food, friends, and a warm bed. Perhaps the thought of seeing Aaron with someone else was too much for Daryl to deal with. Aaron doubted he could have survived living like that, but Daryl had been born an outdoorsman. He had lived off the land most of his life. Daryl was made for this apocalyptic world, which was why he lived by the river for so many years.

Daryl came out of the shack and searched the area with his eyes. “There’s a deer trail over there. We should follow it.”

Aaron glanced at the old camp once more and gave a nod. “Let’s go.”

Daryl whistled for Dog and they made their way along the river. Right away, Daryl’s tracking skills came in handy. He picked up on a deer that had recently come this way. “If you see anything move, let me know. We don’t want to spook the deer.”

After following the trail for a bit, Dog started barking. Daryl and Aaron stopped in their tracks and aimed their weapons, preparing for whatever was ahead. Then Dog took off running. The men waited a moment, but the fading sound of Dog’s bark told them that he was still moving away from them. That’s when they broke into a sprint, and followed the canine. Not long after the barking stopped, they caught up and saw what Dog was barking at. The deer they’d been following was dead, its stomach ripped out and obviously eaten.

“Damn,” Daryl mumbled.

“Looks like they came this way too,” Aaron said as he examined the carcass. “What a waste. They destroyed everything in their path,” he said with frustration.

“Come on, we’ll keep looking,” Daryl said with enthusiasm. He whistled again, and Dog came without hesitation.

They continued following the animal trail, hoping they would find signs of another deer. They desperately needed a big catch like that. But after a while, Dog barked again and ran off.

“Not another one,” Aaron complained. “No wonder we haven’t found anything. Animals won’t stick around where there are walkers.”

They waited and listened to Dog’s voice, which was fading as he ran further away. Daryl whistled for him. He didn’t want him going too far ahead. If he got himself in trouble, Daryl couldn’t get there fast enough to help. Aaron and Daryl picked up their pace, following the sound of Dog’s bark. His voice was getting louder, which meant he’d stopped running. Perhaps he had something or someone cornered. But when they ran out of the trees into a clearing, they found him running around a small cabin, barking and whining. Daryl had already stopped, and Aaron ran up next to him. When he looked at Daryl, he was surprised to see the look of remembrance on his face. He knew this place.

“Have you been here before?” Aaron asked, but Daryl didn’t answer. He almost looked scared to go any further. “Daryl?” Aaron pushed.

“I know this place,” he answered. Then he yelled at Dog to hush up.

Aaron stood back and watched Daryl. He was uneasy about this cabin. “Did something happen here?” Aaron asked, trying to get Daryl to open up. It was obvious he was seeing beyond the walls to something from his past.

Daryl didn’t answer. Instead, he walked slowly to the small house. The front porch was screened in, but it was torn in places. There was no door to the porch. It looked like it had been taken off a long time ago. The front door was faded wood, probably stained a rich dark walnut color in decades past. This had been someone’s fishing cabin at one time. It had been a place of serenity, where a man could get away from his busy daily life and stay for a week or two for relaxation. The river was close, and there were plenty of trees to use as firewood. The hunting was probably good at one time. This was definitely an outdoorsmen’s getaway.

“We should check it for supplies,” Aaron said. As he took a few steps forward, he noticed Daryl hadn’t moved. He almost seemed frightened. “Daryl, if something bad happened–"

“No,” Daryl interrupted. “It’s fine. We need to check.” He glanced over his shoulder to Aaron. “We need to find food.”

Aaron hesitated, and then nodded in agreement, but he kept a sharp eye on Daryl. They approached the front door, finding it unlocked, and went inside. Dog ran past them as soon as the door was wide enough for him to squeeze through. Inside was dark and dusty. It had been years since anyone came here. Right away, Aaron saw a brown leather couch near the fireplace, and a deep red and brown area rug between them. The mantle above the fireplace was made from a log cut in half lengthwise. It was empty, no pictures or knickknacks to decorate it. There were ashes in the fireplace, left from the last time it was used.

Opposite the living room was a small four person table with matching chairs, rustic pine stained dark to match the wood walls. Black iron candleholders made a centerpiece, the candles long burned all the way down, and wax still stuck to their bases. A pad of paper and a pencil sat unused for years. The kitchen was beyond that, small with limited counterspace and cabinets top and bottom. The wood burning stove looked like it hadn’t been used in years. The counters were clear of pots, pans, utensils or anything else you’d find in a kitchen.

To the left of the kitchen, a door stood open. Beyond it, Aaron could see a bed, a nightstand and a dresser. The entire place was very rustic, very ‘off the grid’ as they used to say. No electricity, no phone, no gas. Anyone that stayed here cooked with fire and read by candlelight.

“Did you live here?” Aaron asked. As he had made his way around the cabin, Daryl hadn’t moved from the front door. “Was this one of the places you stayed while you were searching the river?”

“I was a guest,” Daryl answered. He came in and walked into the living room, staring into the empty fireplace.

Dog went to a spot on the floor across from the table, in front of a cabinet, and started whining and scratching at the wood floorboards. Aaron started to make his way over, but Daryl yelled at Dog to stop. The shepherd listened and came into the living room, laying at Daryl’s feet. He was still lightly whimpering, though.

“So, someone else lived here?” Aaron asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

Daryl walked around the room, seeing things as they were years ago, not as they were now, dust covered and faded with age. He was trying to ignore the fact that Aaron’s eyes were glued to him as he traveled around the room, but he knew there would be more questions. He took a seat at the table, and leaned back in his chair. Daryl looked exhausted, like a man tired of keeping a secret. “His name was Will,” he finally answered. “And he was my … friend.”

It didn’t slip past Aaron’s attention how Daryl hesitated when he said that. “I never imagined anyone would be living out here. So, this friend of yours, how’d you find him?”

Daryl stood and went to a window that looked out onto the side yard. The cross was still there, but the dirt mound that it marked was now covered in grass and weeds. “It will be getting dark soon. I’m going to go find some firewood. I guess we’ll crash here for the night.”

“Okay,” Aaron said with skepticism. Daryl was acting rather peculiar. There was definitely a story to tell here, but he wasn’t sure Daryl was going to tell it. He seemed rather spooked, as though a ghost was going to pop out at him any second.

Daryl wasn’t gone long, and he came back with an armful of wood. Aaron helped him and soon they had a fire going.

“I’m going to look through the kitchen and see if there’s any–"

“The cabinet to the right of the stove might have something inside,” Daryl interrupted.

“Thanks,” Aaron said, wrinkling his brow. He stood from the fireplace and started to walk into the kitchen, but turned back to Daryl. “Are you sure you’re alright with staying here?”

“Yeah, why?” Daryl asked.

“You just seem a little out of sorts.”

Daryl forced a smile and gazed into the flames that were still trying to engulf the stack of wood. “I’m good.”

>>------->

Aaron was in the kitchen making some Ramen noodles on the wood burning stove, while Daryl was outside looking around the cabin. He was looking for any sign that Will might have come back, but the place seemed to be undisturbed for years.

“Soup’s on,” Aaron called from inside.

Daryl gazed around the area, memories flooding back of the time he’d spent here. It had been another life, one he hadn’t told anyone about. It was very strange being here, and even stranger being here with Aaron, who had never known about the alternate life Daryl lived for a short while.

He went inside and found Dog scratching at the floorboards again. “Get away from there. Bad Dog.”

Dog abandoned the spot and went to the kitchen to beg Aaron for food.

“He’s been over there several times,” Aaron pointed out.

“He smells a rat or a possum or something,” Daryl answered so they would stop talking about it.

Aaron came out of the kitchen with two bowls. “I hope Cup Noodles is okay with you. That’s all that was in there. I don’t trust the canned goods anymore. The expiration dates on those go out way too far, and the last thing we need is to get dysentery.”

“It’s fine,” Daryl said as he took a seat at the table.

As they ate in silence, Aaron stole a glance at Daryl every once in a while. When they were almost finished eating, he spoke. “So, are you going to tell me about your time here?”

Daryl remained focused on his bowl of soup. When he could no longer get enough on his spoon, he picked up the bowl and drank the rest, making sure to take his time as he did it. He set the bowl on the table and still refused to look at Aaron. “It was a long time ago.”

“I gathered that much,” Aaron said.

Daryl forced himself to look at Aaron. They had agreed to no more secrets, but this was something he never meant to tell anyone about. Aaron was his soulmate, the first man he’d ever loved, and the only man he’d ever been with until Will. He was beyond grateful to have Aaron back in his life. They were married now, and they loved each other to no end, but Will had been something different. Will had been what he needed during a time when he wanted nothing more than to be left alone and disappear. “I was in a really dark place, and Will pulled me out for a little while,” Daryl admitted reluctantly. “And then he was gone.” As he finished speaking, he abruptly stood from the table and went to the window.

Aaron studied the way Daryl looked just then, and he saw a man struggling to keep his past where it belonged. He wished Daryl would share it with him. There was an unbreakable trust between them, and they should be able to talk to each other about anything. Aaron felt he needed to remind Daryl of that, so he came up beside him and looked out the window. “Who’s buried out there?” he asked quietly to start the conversation.

Daryl bowed his head in defeat. “Someone from Will’s past.” He turned his head to the side, not fully looking at Aaron. “He was Will’s lover.”

Aaron knew he had to approach this carefully. He could see and hear Daryl’s guilt, and he knew what that felt like. “You know, back then, things got … difficult between us. We went our separate ways, but I think it was something we needed to go through.”

“It didn’t feel like that at the time. I hated being apart from you,” Daryl admitted. “And I resented the fact that it was Jesus you ran to. I don’t know if I ever told you that.”

“You didn’t have to,” Aaron said solemnly. “I know you and him never really got along.”

“Then why him?” Daryl asked.

Aaron turned away from the window and moved to the table. “Paul was a good man.” He looked across to Daryl. “But that was years ago. Why rehash this now?” When Daryl stayed silent and continued looking out the window, it started to make sense to Aaron. “Did you and Will . . .?”

It took him several seconds, but finally Daryl gave a nod. He moved away and took a seat in what used to be Will’s chair by the fireplace. “It was the year we had that really bad winter. He invited me to ride it out here, and then … I ended up staying.”

Aaron never thought Daryl found someone else in the entire time they were apart. As far as he knew, Daryl lived by the river, and spent his time searching for Rick, lost in his grief for the man he called ‘brother’. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about him?”

“It was short lived. One day he split and I went back to my camp,” Daryl answered. It was a quick version of what had happened, not a lot of details, but just enough that Aaron got the gist of it.

“So, was it serious?” Aaron asked carefully, as he moved to the living room and stood next to the fire place.

Daryl shrugged his shoulders, and still refused to give Aaron his full attention. “It was ten months. That’s all, and then I went back to looking for Rick.” Daryl was very uncomfortable talking about this, and when Dog started scratching at the floorboards again, he jumped up and yelled from across the cabin. “Damnit, get away from there.” He glanced at Aaron. “I’m gonna take him outside and check the place once more before we settle in for the night.”

Aaron nodded and watched him leave. Then he collapsed on the couch and sighed deep and long. He wished Daryl would talk to him. There must be more to the story. Something must have happened that made Will leave, especially since the cabin was his place. But if he kept on questioning Daryl, he wouldn’t get very far. Perhaps it was nothing more than what Daryl said it was, a short lived relationship between two lonely people. He knew he shouldn’t make anything of it. After all, he had started something new with Paul, who had become important to him back then. Still, Aaron never completely let go of Daryl, and if he’d come back while Aaron was with Paul, he was fairly sure he wouldn’t have hesitated to go back to Daryl. He never gave up on them.

Everything was fine outside and the men eventually got comfortable, and made a bed in front of the fireplace using the blankets from the bedroom. They both agreed that even though they had a bed to sleep in, it just didn’t seem right.

Daryl spooned up behind Aaron and nuzzled his nose behind Aaron’s ear. “I never stopped loving you. I hope you know that.”

“I do. And I hope you know that if you had come home way back then, I would have dropped it all and came running back to you in a heartbeat,” Aaron admitted tenderly. “I never gave up on us, even when we were apart.”

Silence fell between them, and Aaron thought Daryl had drifted off to sleep. He was about to do so himself when Daryl spoke.

“Dog found me at my camp, barking, desperately trying to get me to follow him. I grabbed my bow and he led me to this place. There was a walker inside. I killed it and was met with the barrel of a shotgun. I guess a walker got inside and trapped Will in the bedroom. He wasn’t very appreciative. He ended up tying me to a chair and interrogating me to no end. Eventually, he saw I was telling the truth that I was no one living out here alone, and he let me go. It would be months later before we met again. I got myself in trouble, surrounded by a small herd in the woods. Will returned the favor and got me out of there. We should have been even and went our separate ways, but … I don’t know. I guess I missed human contact, and after a few more months, I attempted to make friends by leaving a fish on his doorstep. Stubborn son of a bitch refused my kindness, and the next day he came to my camp, threw the damn fish at me, and told me to stay away. Winter was setting in, and he saw my living conditions for the first time. He offered to let me crash at his place for the night, fearing that I’d get frostbite. One night turned into ten months, but by that time we figured out that we just weren’t compatible. He didn’t like the fact that I was still going out looking for Rick, but I couldn’t give up on that.”

“He wanted something more,” Aaron guessed.

“He just wanted a partner that was always there, and I couldn’t be that for him. We had this huge argument because I was leaving for a couple weeks, going down river to a new place to search for Rick. Will gave me an ultimatum, stay or don’t come back. I left anyways, but then I felt bad about my decision. When I came back, Will was gone. So, I started packing up my shit to move back to my camp, and Dog showed up, alone.”

“Didn’t you find that odd? I can’t imagine Will would leave him behind,” Aaron inquired. He understood Dog’s strong loyalty to Daryl, and knew it must have been that way with Will also.

“I guess I just ignored all the signs. So, I moved back to my home by the river, and never came back here until now. It doesn’t look like Will ever came back either.” Daryl finished his story and pulled Aaron tighter against him. “It never would have worked out between us. I just hope he made it somewhere safe, somewhere good, and that he’s happy.” He nuzzled his nose behind Aaron’s ear. “I know I am.”

“I love you,” Aaron whispered.

“I love you too,” Daryl replied, and the drifted off to sleep, satisfied that Aaron believed his hole-ridden story.

>>------->

Aaron awoke suddenly when he heard a scratching noise. His first thought was that there was a walker at the door, trying to make its way inside. Then he realized the noise was coming from inside the cabin. He felt Daryl behind him, and glanced over his shoulder. Daryl was laying on his stomach, sound asleep. Not wanting to disturb him, he eased his way out of the bed and walked toward the kitchen. Dog was at it again, pawing at the floorboard. Aaron looked back at Daryl once more. He hadn’t moved, still deep in slumber.

“Alright, boy. Why don’t we see what’s down there that’s driving you crazy,” Aaron said as he got on his hands and knees. “We should have done this earlier. I don’t know why Daryl didn’t just check under here to begin with.” He felt along the edge of the wood plank until he found enough purchase to be able to lift it up. The room was dark, and it was difficult to see, but there was something down there. He pulled out a couple cans of food. They were rusty and bloated. Aaron made a sour face and set them to the side. Next, he found a box and lifted it out. “What’s this?” he said to himself as he opened the lid. Inside were a few trinkets, a scrap of material, and a small wooden picture frame. On top of it all was a piece of folded paper. Aaron examined the frame and saw that the glass was missing, and there was no photo. He thought the paper might be the picture that went in the broken frame, but at a closer look, he saw that it was a note folded in half. Probably a last love letter from Will’s deceased partner. He wasn’t going to open it, feeling that he was invading someone’s privacy, but curiosity got the best of him, and he unfolded it. Aaron was shocked when he recognized handwriting.

The note read, “I belong with you. FIND ME.”

Aaron sat back on his heels, brought the note up, and read it again. He checked the handwriting several times, but there was no mistake. Daryl wrote this. The words echoed over and over in his head, spoken softly in Daryl’s voice.

Daryl told the story as though he and Will were two lost souls who found temporary comfort in one another until they realized they weren’t compatible. But as he continued to interpret the note in his mind, he discovered the truth. Daryl was going to leave it all behind and start over with Will. He had no intension of coming home. He said Will gave him an ultimatum, and this note proved that he made a choice. Daryl never caved in to an ultimatum, even when Aaron had tried to do the same thing once, many long years ago. Back then, Daryl walked away. He walked away this time too, but … he came back. It dawned on Aaron, hitting him like a wrecking ball. Daryl chose Will over friends and family, over home, over his personal mission to find Rick, over everything. He was going to leave for good, Aaron thought to himself.

Daryl’s groggy voice came from the living room. “You weren’t supposed to find that.”

“This is the reason you were so short with me when I asked about Will,” Aaron accused. “You couldn’t just tell me the truth?”

“And have you react the way you are right now? No,” Daryl replied as he sat up. “It was a long time ago, Aaron.”

“You were going to leave and never come back, weren’t you?” Aaron demanded.

“I’d been gone several years. Everyone had split to go live separate lives in different communities. Maggie was at Hilltop. Michonne was at Alexandria. Carol was busy being Queen, wife and mother at the Kingdom. And you … you were with Jesus. I didn’t have a place anymore.”

“You always had a place, but you chose to walk away,” Aaron said. “And now I find out that you were ready to leave it all behind.”

“What the fuck was I supposed to do?” Daryl yelled. “You made your choice when you decided to go to Jesus. You don’t think that fucking hurt my soul? I dealt with it the best way I could, but it got to be too much. And then when Rick … I saw that as my opportunity to get out of there and try to start over.” Daryl calmed and bowed his head. “I was already damaged goods, and I’d lost so much. When Rick … disappeared–"

“Died,” Aaron corrected him.

Daryl’s eyes lifted and narrowed on Aaron. “When he disappeared, I completely checked out and abandoned everyone. In the beginning, Michonne used to come to the river to help, but even she gave up after a while. After that, Carol was the only one who kept in touch, though her visits were few and far between. And then I met Will, and he brought me out of the dark. Still, I managed to ruin that too. That’s when I realized I didn’t want to be alone anymore. Will had given me something to look forward to. But I realized that too late. I don’t know what happened to him, and the fact that Dog was still here made me think it was nothing good. I wrote that note, but what I should have done was go after him. I didn’t, and I regret that decision.”

“Is that why we’re here now?” Aaron said, his words tinged with anger. “You wanted to know if he came back or not.”

Daryl shook his head slowly back and forth. “I can’t help feel responsible.”

“Because you cared about him.”

“If the roles were reversed, and this was you and Jesus, you’d want to know too,” Daryl said, throwing it back at Aaron.

Aaron considered this, and nodded. “I probably would have, but the one thing I’d done different would have been to tell you the truth instead of trying to hide it. We agreed a long time ago, no more secrets, even the ones we thought would never resurface again.”

“I didn’t plan this,” Daryl defended himself.

“You had to have known where Dog was leading us, yet you said nothing. You made it seem like Will was just a friend, not someone you were ready to start a new life with after abandoning your old life. It just hurts to know you were ready to disappear from all of us … from me. And yes, I moved on with Paul, but I never wanted you completely gone from my life.”

“You couldn’t have had it all, Aaron. Maybe your problem was not with me, but with yourself. I tried to do what you couldn’t, to start over fresh with a clean slate.”

“You were really going to leave for good, even abandoning your mission to find Rick,” Aaron said appallingly. He gazed helplessly at Daryl. “Did you love him?”

“Did you love Jesus?” Daryl asked in return.

“Not the way I love you,” Aaron admitted. “To say it to him felt like a lie.”

“We should just leave it at that,” Daryl said, trying to end their argument.

Shock washed over Aaron’s face. “Oh my God. You loved him. That’s why you came back. But he was gone and you’ve never forgiven yourself for that.” Aaron moved away from Daryl, almost stumbling. “If he was here now, what would you do? Who would you choose?”

“That’s not fair,” Daryl said soft and low.

“No, I guess it’s not, but it’s still an answer.” Aaron turned and walked to the front door.

“Where are you going?” Daryl said to stop him.

“I need some air,” Aaron said, and he left the cabin.

Daryl looked down at the box on the floor and the letter laying on top of it. “Fuck,” he complained. “I never should have come back here.”

Dog sat next to Daryl, whimpering lightly. “This is all your damn fault,” Daryl said to him. “You couldn’t have left it alone.”

The sun was up now, and Aaron came back into the cabin. Daryl had their stuff packed up, as well as some of the supplies left behind. When Aaron glanced at Daryl, he gave a forced smile, and picked up his own bag.

“Thanks,” he said, seeing that Daryl took care of it for him. Quickly, his eyes scanned the spot where the loose floor board was, and he saw that Daryl had replaced it. The box was gone too.

Daryl noticed Aaron’s curiosity. “The note’s gone. I burned it,” he said, receiving nothing more than a slight nod from Aaron. The damage was already done, so it didn’t matter now.

They walked a long way without saying a word to each other. Daryl tried not to think about what happened, and concentrated on finding signs of wildlife trails. They still needed to bring something back that would help feed their people. They were making their way back to where Daryl’s bike was hidden, when they came to a fork in the road. The left road led to the bike, but the right road led to Alexandria. Dog was far out in front of them, and he had stopped to see which way they would go. Finally, Aaron and Daryl caught up, and now stood at the split.

“I’ve never been further than where my bike is. It’s likely we’ll find some trails to follow, maybe bag a deer or a boar. We really need a big score. A few cups of dehydrated noodles won’t help out much,” Daryl pointed out.

“Yes,” Aaron agreed tersely. He stared straight ahead, unable to look at Daryl. Then he made his decision. “I’m going to head back home. Are you coming?”

Daryl considered his options, and made his decision. “I’m going a little further out.”

“Fine,” Aaron said, and he started walking again, taking the righthand road.

Daryl watched him go and shook his head, frustrated with Aaron’s anger at him for something he couldn’t help for happening. He bared to the left and whistled for Dog to follow. Dog stood in the middle, and looked to Daryl and then to Aaron. When he looked back to Daryl, it was as if he was apologizing, and then he went with Aaron.

“So that’s how it’s gonna be?” he said to himself. He shook his head and split to the left to retrieve his bike.

>>------->

Aaron made it home with no problem. It was early afternoon by the time he arrived. He could see the improvements that had been done while he was gone. People were working hard to get Alexandria back to its former self. The wall had a new section completed, though there was still a lot more to go. He informed Alden about the forest he’d found with the younger trees that would make good braces for the wall. Alden marked the area on his map and told him he would organize a team to go there right away. Then Aaron went to the pantry and dropped off the few items he’d brought from the cabin. Carol was there, and she took them and put them on a shelf.

“It’s not much, but it’s something,” he told her.

“Every little bit helps,” she said with a smile. She couldn’t help notice his gloomy mood. “Everything alright?” she asked.

“I’ll be okay. I just … discovered something that threw me off a little,” he answered. He glanced at Carol. “Daryl showed me his old campsite by the river. He said you used to meet him once in a while, and bring him supplies.”

“Yeah, I used to check in on him from time to time,” she confirmed.

“Thanks for doing that,” he said. “It probably should have been me, though.”

“You were busy raising Gracie back then, and getting used to living a normal life after losing your arm. Besides, you and Daryl weren’t exactly on speaking terms,” she pointed out.

“Maybe I should have tried harder,” Aaron mumbled to himself.

“Hey, what’s brought all this on? That was years ago. Wait, you and Daryl had a fight, is that it?” she asked.

“When you met with him, was he always alone?” Aaron asked curiously.

“As far as I know he was,” she answered. She finished putting a couple jars of green beans on the shelf, and gave Aaron her full attention. “You were only gone overnight. What happened out there?”

Aaron juggled with whether to tell her or not, but this was Carol. She’d find out eventually. “I got a glimpse at Daryl’s former life. Did you know he met someone, a man named Will?”

She looked shocked. “I had no idea. I only met with him a handful of times, but I had to stop going when things started getting rough at the Kingdom. He must have met him after I stopped coming around. He never mentioned anyone, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“He never told me about it either, not in all the time we’ve been back together,” Aaron said as he glanced around the pantry. He couldn’t help but notice how scarce their supply was. “Is this all we have?”

“Yes, unfortunately, but this helps,” she replied, placing the ramen noodle packages on the shelf. “So, where is Daryl now?” she asked, getting back to the subject at hand.

“He said he was staying out a while longer to look for food,” Aaron said, but Carol could see he didn’t truly believe that.

“What do you think he’s doing out there,” she asked with compassion.

Slowly, Aaron lifted his eyes to meet Carol’s. “I’m afraid he’s looking for Will.” Aaron proceeded to tell Carol the story of Daryl and Will, how they met, how long they were together, and what happened at the end of their relationship.

Carol listened to him, and when he was done, she was silent while she thought of the best way to talk to Aaron about this. “Both of you lived lives separate from each other. I imagine the pain you’re feeling right now is similar to the pain he endured knowing you were with Jesus. The important thing, and the only thing that matters is that you two found your way back to each other. You’re married, for God’s sake.”

“It’s not just that,” Aaron said. “I found a note that Daryl left for Will. He wanted to be with him, to start over. If the man had come back, Daryl wouldn’t be here. He regrets not trying harder to find Will, and I’m here wondering ‘what about us?’. Is he always going to go off searching for him like he did with Rick? And what will happen if Daryl actually finds him?”

Carol’s heart went out to him, and she pulled him in for a hug. “Even if he finds this guy, I know deep in my heart that he will always come back to you.” She pushed back and took his chin in her fingers, tilting his head up so they were eye to eye. “You know what I think? It’s time we made this official in front of the entire town. When is Daryl getting back?”

“I don’t know. It could be today. It could be tomorrow. He didn’t say.”

“Okay, that gives us time to get things ready.” Carol looked at the disappointing supply in the pantry. “It’s not much, but I think I know how to stretch out some of this food.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

“We’re going to have a wedding,” she smiled.

Aaron didn’t look convinced by her enthusiasm. “Do you really think that’s a good idea? There’s too much to do around here. The walls are still down, buildings are destroyed, and we’re about to run out of food. The last thing people want right now is a celebration.”

“That’s exactly what they need. There’s been too much doom and gloom. A little escape from the reality of our situation will boost morale.” She went to the nearest shelf and searched through canned goods and packages. “Did you ever hear the story about Stone Soup?”

Aaron had no idea what she was talking about, and he wasn’t sure any of this was a good idea. When Carol put her mind to something, there was no stopping her. “How are we going to do any of this if Daryl isn’t here? We shouldn’t waste precious supplies.”

“Daryl will be here, and when he arrives, he’ll have no choice but to go through with this. I know you’re already married, and this is just for show, but I know how badly you wanted to celebrate with the community. I also know how much Daryl hates public displays of affection, and celebrations that put him in the spotlight.” She stopped what she was doing and smiled deviously at Aaron. “That’s what is going to make this extra fun. Now, what I need you to do is to go get Maggie and Gabriel and bring them here. We’ve got work to do and not much time to do it.”

Aaron remained where he was, feeling like this was a mistake. But Carol wasn’t about to give up, and she flicked her hands, shooing him out of the pantry. He left to do as instructed, and brought Gabriel and Maggie to the pantry. When he got there, Carol had a big pot on a hotplate, and she was searching the pantry for ingredients for the soup she was putting together.

Maggie seemed excited, and her and Carol talked about what they needed to do as though Aaron wasn’t even in the room. Gabriel waited until he was given instructions before he spoke. “I’ll get the hall cleaned up and ready.”

“I know what I’ve got to do, too,” Maggie said. “I’m out of here.” She stopped and kissed Aaron on the cheek. “This is going to be wonderful, Aaron. Don’t worry about a thing.”

Carol and Aaron were the only ones left. “What do you need me to do?” he asked.

“You’re not going to lift a finger, so you might as well go home, spend some time with Gracie, and maybe take a nap. You look like you could use the rest,” she suggested. When Aaron didn’t leave, she gave him her full attention. “I’m serious. We’ve got it all under control. Now go. Go on,” she said pushing him out the garage door. She closed it behind him, and he was left standing alone on the sidewalk. So, he went home and hoped this would turn out well.

>>------->

Daryl was having a terrible time. Everything that could go wrong had gone wrong. He never found a deer trail, and so his hunting expedition was a failure. Then his bike broke down. He searched multiple vehicles for what he needed to fix it, and almost got crushed underneath a car with a walker trapped inside. When he finally found the part he needed, he realized he didn’t have the tools to fix it. He’d put his switchblade in the wrong pack back at the cabin, and Aaron had unknowingly taken it home with him. As he thought about how to fix the situation, walkers found him. He hid from them because there were too many to take on by himself. One walker caught his eye. He was a soldier, who would probably have multiple items in his pockets, hopefully one of them being a knife he could use to fix his bike. Daryl separated him from the rest. After killing him, he found what he needed, but by then it was getting late, and it wasn’t good to be in the woods after dark. He began looking for a place to stay until morning, and stumbled across an army base, but he couldn’t get to it. There were too many walkers. That wasn’t such a bad thing, though. It meant that it was probably untouched, and there were supplies inside. It was actually an exciting find, and he couldn’t wait to get home and let them know so they could send a group out to clear the place and search it. So, he carefully made his way back to the place where he’d left his bike.

While he worked, he reminisced over his fight with Aaron. It had been a ridiculous argument, he thought. Why did Aaron fly off the handles like that, when it was something that happened so long ago? Things were different then. They lived completely different lives. Aaron couldn’t have expected him not to move on, especially when he did that very same thing with Jesus.

Then Daryl thought about what Aaron said about leaving Jesus for him if he had just gone home. When he gave it more thought, he realized what that short note must have read like to Aaron. ‘I belong with you.’ Four simple words that he didn’t think meant much obviously read like a stab in the heart.

“Aaron never felt like that toward Jesus, and he figured the same went for me too,” Daryl told himself. But what Aaron didn’t understand was that by being with Jesus, living together and raising Gracie together, felt the same as the note felt to Aaron. It felt permanent, as though there wouldn’t be another chance for them to reconcile. If it had been anyone else but Jesus, Daryl might still have held out hope, but he felt replaced.

Finally, the bike was fixed. Daryl jumped on and started it up. He breathed a sigh of relief, gathered his stuff and took off for home. It would be morning by the time he got there. He thought about what he would say to fix things with Aaron. They needed to completely get it all out in the open and deal with this. They had never really talked about their lives while they were apart. Daryl didn’t think they needed to. Life went on, and they were together again, married even. Obviously, their past lives were somewhat of a barrier, like a secret they never confessed. So, they would talk. Not only that, they needed to listen, especially Daryl. As much as he hated to learn about Aaron’s life with Jesus, he knew he couldn’t tune it out and pretend like it never happened. And Aaron needed to know about Will. Only then could they get back to being completely happy, no longer wondering. Then they could move forward.
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Safe Haven in the Chaos