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Hidden Love	By : betsanne Category: S through Z > Sentinel Views: 1152 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Sentinel, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Hidden Love
- 1
Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Sentinel Universe. If you recognize it, then it doesn't belong to me. I also make no money off this story.

I have had this story partially completed, sitting on my hard drive since December of 2001. This was the beginning of the second slash story that I had ever written. Sadly, I lost interest in writing and in the Sentinel fandom all together. Since I have started writing again in Feb 2005, I'm still not interested in the Sentinel fandom, but I thought I should at least finish this story.
I had planned on having another story written, based on Jim's point of view, but as I said before, I've lost interest in The Sentinel fandom. If anyone wants to write the third story, let me know. I don't care how it's written. The only thing I ask is that Simon and Blair stay together. You can have Jim join them if you wish, that's up to you.

HIDDEN LOVE

By Betsanne
Companion piece to Unexpected Depths

Simon walked over to the couch and sat down for a few minutes before getting back up. He paced around the living room. He was restless and anxious. Hell, he was down right nervous. He'd let Blair go home with Jim even though he knew Blair should've stayed with him. He knew that Blair wasn't in love with Jim, but he knew there was more there than just a simple friendship. They'd always had a connection. From the moment that Simon saw Jim and Blair together, he could see it. There was always something between them.

He knew that Blair would always be Jim's Guide. It was just the way Blair was. He knew that Blair would stay with Jim as long as Jim needed him. Hell, Blair needed Jim too much to just walk away. At least he thought that was the case. Lately though, he was having his doubts. Too much had happened recently. With Alex, the drowning and Jim taking off to Sierra Verde without Blair, he knew that Blair was hurt. Hurt that Jim would go with the one person who had actually killed his Guide. He didn't know if Blair could handle that. Blair was angry and that was why he needed to go with Jim. They needed to talk and try to work things out.

Simon shuddered at the image in head. Seeing Blair lying face down in the fountain had nearly killed him. It was a sight that he knew he would never forget. He couldn't even show the amount of grief that he had felt. He knew that people would have wondered why he had taken Blair's death so hard. He was just a friend right? No one knew about Blair and his relationship. Blair wasn't ready for people to know. Blair wasn't ready for Jim to know. He may be angry at Jim's attitude lately, but he had grateful for to Jim when he had revived Blair at the fountain. He'd been relieved when Blair started to cough up the water. Somehow, Jim had saved his life and for that, he would be forever grateful.

He sighed and walked into the kitchen. He was hungry and thought maybe food might distract him from his thoughts of Blair. Walking over to the fridge, he opened it and looked inside. Umm...nothing looks good, he thought. Oh, wait, what is this? Pulling out the green container, he shut the fridge door and walked over to the counter. Setting the container on the counter, he pulled off the lid. Blair had made lasagna for Simon last week. It was bad now, but that dinner had been wonderful.

Simon sighed, put the whole container in the trash, and walked out of the kitchen. Guess I'm not as hungry as I thought.

He grabbed a book off the shelf and went to sit on the couch again. This time he was determined to keep his mind off Blair. Opening the book, he began to read. For a few minutes, he succeeded in reading, but his thoughts kept slipping to Blair.

Fine, I guess I'm going to thinking about Blair. Slamming the book shut, he leaned back against the cushions of the couch and closed his eyes. He thought of Blair, the first day that he had seen him. Jim had brought him in and gave Simon some bullshit story about Blair being his cousin, nephew or some family member. Simon had barely been aware of what Jim was saying to him. He'd noticed that Blair was beautiful, so vibrant and so young. He had eyes only for Jim even then. He knew from the beginning that he didn't have a chance with the young graduate student. He only needed to watch Blair with Jim to see that.

Over the years, he watched as Jim and Blair grew closer. He was always in the background waiting, hoping that maybe someday he might have a chance. His hope died several months ago when he saw Blair looking at Jim with longing and desire in his eyes. He knew then that Blair finally realized that he loved Jim. The pain he had felt had almost overwhelmed him. He watched as Blair tried to figure out how to tell Jim. He realized, after a couple months, that amazingly enough Blair and Jim still hadn't gotten together.

He had debated whether or not to interfere. He was Blair's friend and he wanted to see him happy. He also knew that to help Blair would cause him pain. He decided that he loved Blair enough to see him happy, whether it was with him or Jim. His chance came one day when he stayed late at the station to catch up on paperwork. He was getting ready to go home. He turned out the lights in his office and proceeded to walk out of his office. He heard a noise and looked around. He saw Blair at Jim's desk, ruffling through the paperwork that was sitting on his desk. He wondered what Blair was doing here so late. He walked over to the desk and leaned against it.

"Sandburg, what are you doing still doing here?" he asked in concern. He looked Blair over and noticed that he had circles under his eyes. He looked tired and depressed. He wondered what was going on.

"Uh? Oh, sorry Simon, I didn't realize you were still here," Blair said, glancing up at Simon nervously. "I was just um�doing to some paperwork. You know, to catch up."

"Sandburg, we don't pay you, so there's no reason for you to stay and do paperwork. That is Jim's job. That is why we pay him the big bucks," Simon said dryly.

Blair smiled tiredly "I know, Simon. I just needed to do something. So, I thought why not help Jim out a little. I mean we all know how much he hates paperwork," Blair said with a little grin.

Simon chuckled briefly before looking at Blair in concern. "Blair, is something wrong? You look tired. Are you ok? Is something going on with Jim?"

Blair shook his head and said, "No, everything's fine. I just have a lot of things on my mind. You know? My mind is constantly thinking. I can never turn it off."

"What are you thinking about?" Simon asked curiously.

"It's nothing. Really, Captain," Blair said flatly.

Simon stared at Blair for a second, feeling hurt that Blair didn't feel as if he could confide in him. He sighed, why would Blair confide in me when he has Jim? Trying to keep his face blank, he straightened and looked at Blair.

"Alright then Sandburg, have a good night. See you later," Simon said gruffly. Grabbing his jacket off the desk, Simon turned to walk to the door.

"Wait!" Blair stood quickly, his chair scooting back, the noise in loud in the nearly empty bullpen.

Simon turned around, his face still blank. "Yes, Sandburg?" he asked impatiently.

"Umm�look, I didn't mean to upset you, it's just well I have something that's been bothering me and I'm trying to work it out," Blair said, running his hands through his hair nervously.

Simon sighed wearily and replied, "Look Sandburg, I know that I'm not Jim. I understand that there are things that you are not going to tell me. I'm not upset, not really."

"Simon, it's not that I don't want to confide in you, it's just well, I don't want you to think of me any differently," Blair said nervously. He was looking everywhere but at Simon.

"There is nothing in this world that will make me think anything less of you. You're my friend, Sandburg. I may not show it all the time, but I do care for you. I repeat nothing you tell me will change my opinion of you," Simon stated firmly.

Blair stared at Simon with an intense expression. He seemed to find what he was looking for as he relaxed. He took a deep breath and released it slowly. He looked at Simon and asked in an even voice, "How about some dinner? We can talk then."

Simon blinked in surprise. "Uh�ok. Better yet, how about we order dinner and then go to my house. That way we can have some privacy. I have a feeling that this might be serious," Simon said. He gave Blair a curious look and Blair looked at him warily.

Blair nodded in understanding. "Ok, I'll meet you at your house. Whatever you order is fine by me. I need to finish this up, and then I'll be on my way," Blair said nervously, biting his bottom lip.

Simon nodded and turned to walk to the door. He paused and looked at Blair over his shoulder. Blair was looking at the floor intently. He could tell that whatever was on his mind, it was serious.

"Blair," Simon called out softly.

Blair looked up at him anxiously. "Yea?" he asked.

Simon gave him a gentle smile and said, "It'll be ok. Whatever it is, it'll be ok. Maybe you should talk to Jim about this. I mean he is your best friend."

"No!" Blair exclaimed, shaking his head vigorously. "This isn't about Jim, well not much. I don't think Jim would want to hear this," Blair muttered anxiously.

Simon looked at him in confusion. "Alright then, I'll see you later," Simon said as he walked to the door. He opened the door and with one final glance at Blair, he walked out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Simon looked up from the table he had been setting. He hoped that Blair liked the Chinese food that he had gotten on the way home. He heard Blair's car pulling up the driveway. Putting down the spoon, he walked over to the door and opened it, waiting for Blair to come up the walk. Blair gave Simon a strange look.

"Senses suddenly become enhanced, Simon?" Blair teased.

Simon rolled his eyes and said, "Sandburg, you'd have to be deaf not to hear that car of yours. Why don't you kill it and put it out of its misery and yours."

Blair gave Simon a look of mock outrage. "Man, you know that car's a classic. She's a little difficult at times, but she gets me to where I need to go," Blair said with a grin.

"Fine, but don't come crying to me when it breaks down on you again, and leaves you stranded in the middle of nowhere," Simon commented sarcastically, rolling his eyes at Blair's love of his car. No matter how bad the damn thing was.

"Ah, Simon, she would never let me down," Blair exclaimed, his hands waving in the air excitedly.

"Really?" Simon said, raising his eyebrows. "And just where was your beloved car not all of two weeks ago?"

Blair cleared his throat, a look of embarrassment on his face. "Ah," Blair said, blushing. "Alright! It was in the shop�again, but Simon, she's a classic."

Simon just shook his head and grinned at Blair. He was just too cute when he was flustered.

Simon backed away from the door and let Blair into the house. "Come on in. I stopped off and got some Chinese food. Is that alright with you?" he asked.

Blair bounced on his feet and said with a grin, "Oh yeah! Man, I'm starving. Lead the way, bossman!"

Simon stopped and looked at Blair in disbelief. "Bossman?" he asked in disbelief.

Blair just grinned at him, placed his coat on the back of the couch, and proceeded into the kitchen. Simon chuckled, shaking his head and followed him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After dinner, Blair and Simon cleaned the kitchen and washed the dishes. Simon watched Blair, noticing that he was getting nervous. I wonder what this is all about. What can he share with me that he can't share with Jim? Maybe he's finally realized that he loves Jim and just doesn't know what to do. Simon closed his eyes and sighed softly. This is going to hurt, but I'll be there for him. I just want him happy.

Drying his hands and placing the towel on the counter, he looked over at Blair and said, "Sandburg, lets go into the living room."

Blair looked up, startled from his thoughts. Biting his lip, he nodded and walked past Simon, out into the living room. He stood there for a second and looked around blankly. Finally, he sat down in the chair by the couch. Simon followed and sat down on the couch. He looked at Blair and waited, figuring that Blair would start when he was ready. After a few minutes of silence, he realized that Blair was lost in his thoughts again.

"Blair, tell me what's wrong," Simon said. He was concerned about the silent figure sitting in the chair. A quiet Blair was unusual and somehow it seemed wrong.

Blair looked at Simon for a second then looked away quickly. He stood up and started to pace nervously. Simon could hear him mumbling, "Deep breath�.slow and easy�." He suddenly stopped and looked at Simon.

"I think�no, I know that I love you!" Blair blurted out, then tensed up when he realized what he'd said.

Simon sat there, stunned, not believing a word he'd just heard. Love? Me? What the hell?

Looking at Blair in confusion, he asked, "Love?" Simon laughed nervously and said, "Oh, you mean as a friend. Well, hell Sandburg, I love you too," he said flippantly, trying to cover his pain. There was no way Blair was in love with him and there was no way in hell he was going to get his hopes up.

Blair shook head in denial. "No, Simon, I don't mean as a friend. I mean love, like forever, marry me, fuck me until I am no longer coherent, kind of love," Blair explained angrily. "I come over here to tell you this and you just fluff it off. You told me I could talk to you, but do you take me seriously? No, of course not. God, I knew this was going to happen, but I didn't listen to myself. Oh no! I just had to tell you. What the hell was I thinking? Fuck it, I'm outta here. I don't need this crap," he spat out. Turning around, he grabbed his coat off the back of the couch, and proceeded to walk angrily to the door.

Forever? Marry? Fuck him until he was incoherent? Simon thought; his mind in a daze. With that last thought and the realization that Blair was about to walk out the door, Simon jumped up from the couch, stalked over to Blair, and grabbed him by the arm. Turning him around, he pushed Blair against the wall and leaned into him, pressing his body into his.

Simon stared down at Blair a moment before demanding, "What do you think you're doing? You tell me that you love me, the forever kind and then proceed to stick the image in my head of fucking you incoherent -- which I enjoyed immensely by the way -- then you get angry and proceed to leave without giving me a chance to say anything." Leaning closer to Blair, he breathed hotly into Blair's ear, "That's just wrong, Blair."

Blair whimpered, his eyes closing and his head tilted back, hitting the wall. His lips parted and began to pant lightly. He quickly licked his lips and. Simon watched, fascinated, as his lips became shiny and wet.

Simon pressed closer to Blair and grinned wolfishly as he felt Blair's hard cock pressing against his. He could hear the small moan Blair uttered when Simon shifted slightly, their cocks rubbing together, causing delightful sensations. "Tell me, Blair. How long have you loved me? I figured it was Jim that you were in love with. I've seen you look at Jim. There's desire in your eyes when you gaze at him. I figured it was only a matter of time until you two got together. Now, you tell me that I'm the one you're in love with. Why?" Simon asked hoarsely. He needed to be sure that Blair was telling the truth. He didn't want anything to happen if Blair wasn't sure of his feelings. He cared way too much for their friendship to have it messed up by lust.

Blair opened his eyes and looked up at Simon. His eyes were dilated and Simon could see the desire in them. He had to restrain himself from kissing Blair, damning the consequences. He could also see the fear and uncertainty shining from his eyes as well.

Blair licked his lips nervously and Simon had to restrain a moan at the sight. Blair gave him a wary look and began to talk. "About a year ago I started to have dreams, wet dreams. At first, the dreams were vague. In some, I'd be kissing someone, in others I'd be getting a blowjob. The person in my dreams was always faceless. A couple of months after they started, I started getting dreams where I was giving the blowjobs. God, the first time I woke up after a dream like that, I almost started freaking. I just thought it was a one-time thing. I was wrong," Blair explained with a rueful expression.

"I realized later that the dreams were a turn on. I started to have thoughts about men, about having sex with men. Any man. It was something new, something that I hadn't explored before. It didn't bother me so much after I got used to the idea. I couldn't be raised as Naomi's child and have those kinds of prejudices. Lord knows I had a couple of 'Aunts' when I was younger," Blair said with a grin.

Blair shifted his body and Simon hissed in pleasure. Blair froze and gave Simon a wary look before smiling. "The thought of being with a man excited me and I decided that I would take the next logical step. I would find a man, have sex and be done with it. Maybe my dreams would stop and I could finally get some sleep. I went to a gay bar and stayed a couple of hours. I decided that I couldn't have sex with some anonymous stranger. I don't know why. I mean I never had a problem with it when it came to a woman. I just knew I couldn't," Blair said and took a deep breath before relaxing against the wall.

"I realized that I wanted to be with someone I trusted. This was a big step in my life, and I wanted to be with someone who cared about me. I wanted someone who I knew wouldn't hurt me. I noticed Jim about a month after I went to the bar. I don't know why I didn't notice him before. Maybe it was because I'm used thinking of Jim as a friend, or because I never really noticed how sexy the man could be. I developed a crush on him and I wanted Jim to my first man. I watched him for several months, dropping hints. I know he knew what I wanted, but he never gave me any sign that he was interested. I gave up on him. I know he's bi so I figured he just isn't interested in me," Blair explained.

Simon noticed that Blair had calmed down. He still wouldn't look Simon in the eye as he explained. Hearing that Blair thought Jim was sexy made him wince, even though he knew that Jim was indeed sexy. Blair moved restlessly against the wall and Simon pulled back, bringing Blair with him. Simon walked Blair over to the couch and sat him down. Sitting next to him, he pulled Blair back into his arms and leaned against the back of the couch.

"Is this all right?" he asked Blair. Blair gave him a quick look and a small smile and relaxed against Simon's chest.

"Yeah, it's fine. Great in fact," Blair answered.

Simon smiled at him in delight and said, "Good. Now, continue with your explanation."

Blair looked at him and smiled. "Ok, where was I?" Blair asked.

"You were just telling me that Jim isn't interested in you. Which I find very hard to believe. I've seen the looks that man's given you and he's interested," Simon said. Damn, I should just shut up. What the hell am I doing? I'm trying to convince Blair that Jim is interested obviously. I'm only thinking of his happiness.

Blair bit his lip and looked thoughtful. "Well, if he's interested, he isn't showing it and I gave him plenty of hints. I'm not going to throw away a good friendship by doing more than hints. I need to feel that there is more there in order to take that chance," Blair said.

Simon looked down at Blair with a frown. "What do you mean more? You told me that you thought you were in love with me. Does that mean we don't have a very good friendship to throw away if things don't work out?" Simon asked angrily.

"No!" Blair sat up quickly, looking stricken. "That's not what I mean at all. Simon, you were the last person I expected to have feelings for. God, when I realized that I had more than lustful thoughts for you, I cried. I knew there was no way you could feel anything for me. You're straight Simon, and even if you weren't, I knew that you would never want someone like me, someone so different from you. I love you damn it! I watched you for months and was delighted when I noticed that you also watched me. I saw a look in your eyes that gave me hope. I watched you and noticed you. I looked beneath Simon the Police Captain and Simon the Friend. I found Simon the Man."

Leaning forward and looking into Simon's eyes, Blair said softly, "I respect Simon the Police Captain. I like Simon the Friend. I love Simon the Man. I couldn't hold it back any longer. I had to tell you. You mean more to me than anybody except maybe Jim and even that is debatable. Do you think you could ever love someone like me?" Blair asked softly.

Simon stared into Blair's eyes and could see all the love that Blair was trying to show him. Grabbing Blair by the arms, he gently brought him against his chest. With his hand, he stroked the hair around Blair's face and then gently cupped his chin. Leaning forward a little, he gently placed a soft kiss on Blair's lips and whispered softly, "I have no problem what so ever with loving you. I've loved you for years. I was so sure that you were interested in Jim. I just knew that there was no chance in hell that you would ever notice me or even love me. The fact that you love me brings me so much joy. So to answer your question, yes Blair, I know I could love someone like you." With that said, he captured Blair's lips in a harder kiss, trying to express the love that he felt.

Blair moaned and went limp against Simon's chest. He felt Blair's tongue at his lips and he opened his mouth to let Blair in. He shuddered at the sweet taste of Blair. A taste that he never thought he would know. Harsh panting drifted throughout the room as they kissed harder, feeling the flame light up inside them. Simon moved his hands towards the front of Blair's jeans. He cupped the hardness he felt there and stroked firmly. Suddenly Blair stiffened and pulled away. He was panting harshly, trying to calm down.

"Blair? What's wrong?" asked Simon, staring at him in confusion.

"Um, it's nothing," he said nervously. Blair stood up and walked a step or two from the couch. Simon was suddenly scared that he went too far. Maybe Blair wasn't in love as much as he thought.

"Did I do something wrong?" Simon asked in concern.

Blair looked at him in surprise before shaking his head. "N...No, Simon," Blair stuttered, blushing slightly. "I can honestly say that it's me."

"What?" Simon asked.

Blair stopped in front of Simon, wringing his hands nervously. "I um�well; you know that I've never been with a man. The only time I tried anything was when I went to a bar and nothing ever came of that. Simon, until you, I've never been so much as kissed by a man. It hit me suddenly and now I'm as nervous as hell. I mean I shouldn't be, right? I've wanted you for months only to realize that I'm scared. Does that make any sense?" Blair asked, looking at Simon with a faintly desperate look.

Simon chuckled softly, then a little louder at Blair's indignant look at hearing Simon's laughter.

"Blair, love, it's alright that you're nervous. You know I would never make you do anything that you didn't want to do. If you need more time to get use to this then we can go slowly. Take all the time you need. I'm just glad that you love me. The physical stuff can wait until you're more comfortable with it," Simon said with a soft smile.

He could see Blair relax, "We can um...still kiss right?" Blair asked shyly.

"Oh yes, Blair, we can definitely do that," Simon purred; enjoying the way Blair's eyes darkened at his tone in his voice. Yep, my Blair love is going to be very responsive. I just need to remember to take things slow. Oh, but it's going to be so hard. Heh! No pun intended.

"T...t...terrific," Blair stuttered, licking his lips to moisten them. He walked back over to the couch and sat down. Leaning towards Simon, he hesitated and then slowly raised his face to Simon. The kiss was sweetness itself. Almost chaste, it was a promise of things to come. Simon gathered Blair into his arms and held him gently. He placed small kisses on Blair's lips, one right after the other. Blair opened his mouth slightly and Simon started sucking on his lower lip. He heard Blair gasp then give a breathy moan. Blair raised his arms, put them around Simon's neck, and pressed his body closer to Simon.

Simon gasped when he felt Blair's hardness pressing against his. He slowly lowered his hands to Blair's waist and pulled Blair more firmly against his own hardness. Still kissing Blair softly, he began to rock minutely, nothing to distract Blair, just enough to add some friction. Blair stopped kissing Simon and threw his head back, his face showing his pleasure. Simon leaned forward and started to nibble on Blair's arched throat, going up to his jaw then back. Raising his head he looked at Blair and with every ounce of willpower that he had, he stopped.

"Blair, love, we need to stop," he whispered hoarsely, his breathing uneven.

"Whaa�?" Blair opened his eyes, which were still glazed with desire. "Why?"

"I told you that I would wait. If I go any farther, that will be a promise that would be hard to keep," Simon explained hoarsely, staring at Blair's dazed face with desire.

"Alright, screw the promise. I want more," Blair said with a whine. He moved his body and Simon hissed as their hardness rubbed against each other.

"No, Blair. I told you that we would take it slow and I meant it. Think of it as a time for me to court you, as it were. I would love to do that. I want to show you how much you mean to me. I want to show you how much I love you. Please, Blair. Let me do that for you," Simon pleaded softly.

Blair's eyes shined with tears, the expression of wonder, joy and love that showed on his face told Simon how much his words had affected Blair.

"I would love that, Simon. Nobody has ever courted me before. It should be fun," Blair said, smiling widely at Simon.

"Oh, it will at that, Blair. It will at that," Simon said with a grin.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

For the next several months, Blair and Simon dated secretly. Blair wasn't ready to tell Jim about their relationship. He wanted to keep it private as they got to know each other. Simon could tell that Blair enjoyed the extra secrecy to their relationship. Blair would give Simon a naughty smile and say, "I like the feeling of sneaking around. It feels forbidden and a little naughty." He would then pounce on Simon and proceed to kiss the breath out of him.

They hadn't done much in the physical sense. There were many hours of kissing, a couple of handjobs and even some frottage, but other than that, Simon kept things pretty tame. He was aware of Blair's frustration, but he wanted to make sure that this was something that Blair really wanted. He didn't want to jump the gun and destroy their friendship if Blair wound up regretting it.

Six months into the relationship, Blair had another fight with Jim about something small and stupid. Blair had come over to his house, ranting and raving about Jim's recent behavior. He couldn't understand why Jim had been acting so moody, but it seemed that the littlest thing would set Jim off. Tired of his attitude, Blair had come over to Simons's house for some TLC.

Simon had decided then that he would bring the subject up that had been plaguing him for a month. He sat Blair down on the couch and looked at him. "Blair, I know that Jim is your friend and your Sentinel, but I was wondering if you would like to move in with me?" Simon asked nervously. "You don't have to answer right now. You can take time to think about it. I just wanted to let you know that you had an option."

Blair looked up at him in surprise. "Simon, I don't know what to say. Right now, I would jump at the chance to stay, but that's only because I'm mad at Jim. I can't just abandon Jim right now. He still needs help with his senses. I'm his Guide. It would be careless of me to just leave him now," Blair said quietly.

Simon sat down next to Blair and gathered him into his arms. "I know that, Blair. I knew when I asked that you would say no, but as I said before, I just want you to know that you have that option. I would love to have you stay here and make this our home. I also know that you're not going to abandon Jim, and I'm not asking you to. Just think about. Even if you decide not to move in, I want you to know that this house is always open to you," Simon explained gently.

Blair looked up at him with wide, wondering eyes and said, "I love you, Simon. I can't believe how lucky I am to have found you." He leaned up and took Simon's mouth in a hard, passionate kiss. He traced Simon's mouth with his tongue and groaned at the taste. Pulling back from the kiss, he looked Simon in the eyes and said seriously, "If I change my mind, you'll be the first to know. I can't say that it's not tempting, because it is. I'm just not ready to leave Jim yet."

Simon reached up to caress Blair's long, curly hair. "I know that, love. You wouldn't be the man that I love if you did."

Blair smiled softly and laid his head back down on Simon's chest. They sat together in the silence, savoring being near each other.

After that day, Simon saw a decline in Jim and Blair's friendship. Jim's moodiness got more intense and Simon had to restrain himself from saying anything. Blair spent more time with Simon, and while Simon enjoyed that, he didn't like how the deterioration of Jim and Blair's friendship was affecting Blair.

The day came when Blair knocked on his door; the look on his face was one of pure devastation. Simon dragged him into the house in concern and sat him down on the couch. "What happened, Blair? What's wrong?" he asked as he sat down next to him.

Blair swallowed and looked at him with bleak eyes. "Jim kicked me out of the loft. I came home and the loft was empty. My things were boxed up; waiting for me and Jim told me to leave."

Simon looked at him in disbelief. "What? Why?" he asked before pulling Blair into arms. He leaned back and held Blair as the man shook with pent up emotions.

Blair sighed as he rested in Simon's arms. Blair shook his head and said, "I'm not sure. Jim has been acting erratic lately."

They sat there quietly before Blair pulled back. Blair looked thoughtful. "I wonder if it the other Sentinel has something to do with it. Maybe it's a territorial thing and Jim is acting instinctively."

Simon looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Basically Sentinels are throw-backs from primitive man. They are from a time where territory was a big thing. Maybe Cascade is too small for the both of them. I need to get to my office at the University. There's something I need to look at," Blair said absently, his mind racing with thoughts.

Simon frowned before sighing. "All right, but if you need a place to stay, you know you can stay here."

Blair looked up at him with a weary smile. "I know I can. I'm just concerned for Jim. He's not acting right," he said with a frown.

Simon gently caressed Blair's face and pulled him closer for a kiss. They kissed for several minutes before Blair pulled back with a regretful sigh. "Thanks, Simon. I can always count on you to make me feel better."

Simon smiled at him lovingly. "I try," he said smugly.

Blair laughed and got up from the couch. "I'll talk to you later," Blair said before leaning down and kissing Simon one more time. He gave him a brief smile and left.

Simon shook his head in bemusement. Blair had arrived here upset and within minutes, he had calmed down enough that he figured out quickly that something was wrong with Jim. Simon was constantly amazed at how quickly Blair could get over his anger, and at how fast his mind seemed to work.

The following were days were filled with chaos. Simon found out Alex Barnes was a criminal and that she had stolen some highly toxic gas. She had also gone after Blair. The fact that Alex killed Blair had left Simon devastated. The sight of Blair lying face down in the fountain filled him with horror. He had been filled with joy and relief when Jim was able to bring Blair back to life. He hadn't had a chance to visit the hospital and when he did, Blair was still unconscious. They had lost all leads as to where to find Alex and the stolen gas. While that was weighing on Simon's mind, he was more concerned about Blair.

Several days later, things had calmed down enough for Simon to visit the hospital. Jim had called to let him know that Blair had woken up. Simon had been weak with relief and made it a point to visit Blair when nobody was there. He walked into Blair's room quietly and stared at the man lying on the bed. His hands clinched with the desire to grab Blair and hold him close. At that moment, he hated the fact that he couldn't show his feelings for Blair.

He sat in the chair next to Blair and grabbed his hand. He held them gently and gazed at his lover's face. Blair was a little pale and his hair was in disarray. There were circles under his eyes and Simon could hear Blair's raspy breathing. Water had filled Blair's lungs and he was on antibiotics to make sure that he didn't get an infection.

"Oh, Blair," he said softly.

Blair moaned and his eyes fluttered. He opened them and looked around the room before his gaze landed on Simon. He smiled wearily. "Hey, Simon," he said in a raspy voice.

Simon didn't care anymore if he was found out. He stood up, leaned over Blair's bed and kissed his lover. He was gentle and he savored the taste of the man he had thought he'd lost. Pulling back he looked down at loving blue eyes and whispered harshly, "Don't you ever do that to me again. I thought I had lost you." His eyes filled with tears and Blair looked at him in concern.

Reaching a hand up, Blair caressed Simon's face. Simon closed his eyes at the touch and took a shuddery breath. "I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean for this to happen," Blair said softly.

Simon reached up and grabbed Blair's hand gently. "I know. When I saw you lying in the fountain and the EMTs pronounced you dead, I felt as if my whole world had shattered. You can't imagine the relief I felt when Jim somehow saved you. He refused to give up, even when the EMTs did."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," Blair said gently.

"I know you are. Just don't to it again," Simon pleaded.

"I'll try," Blair said with a grin.

After Simon's visit with Blair, he decided to follow Jim to Sierra Verde to find Alex and the stolen gas. Jim said he had a way of tracking her, so Simon decided that he wanted to find the woman who had killed his lover. He had been upset when he found out that Blair had followed them as well. To say he was angry was putting it mildly. He had no choice but hold back his anger though. He knew that Jim would find it odd that Simon would be so angry at Blair. Blair had just looked at him defiantly and told him that Alex had killed him, so he had every right to be here. He was also here to help Jim if he needed it.

The days that followed were chaotic. Simon had been upset with Jim when Blair told him what had happened between Alex, Jim and Blair on the beach. The fact that Jim took a minute before making Alex lower the gun pissed him off. Alex could've harmed Blair again and Jim didn't even seem to care. Blair had been so upset that it had taken Simon a while to calm him down. Blair was rapidly losing faith in his friend. The months of fighting, Blair being thrown out of the loft, his death, and now this thing with Alex, it was taking its toll on Blair. He was beginning to doubt his friendship with Jim. He began to think that he was putting more effort into the friendship than Jim was. All Simon could do was be there for Blair.

Simon was relieved when they finally captured Alex Barnes. He thought it was rather fitting that the woman had lost her mind in the effort to the Eye of God. Regardless of what really happened in the temple between Alex and Jim, Simon was just glad it was over. He was ready to go home. He wanted time with his lover, time where he could hold him, touch him, kiss him, and make love to him.

Simon hadn't been happy when Blair told him that he wanted to spend their first night back with Jim. Blair wanted to work things out, to see if there was even a friendship to work out. Personally, Simon thought it was pointless. Many things during this case made Simon realize that Jim didn't care for Blair as much as he thought he did. Jim was rather selfish when it came to his friendship with Blair. With a look of resignation, Simon said he understood, but if Blair needed him then he should call him.

So here he sat, waiting for the phone call that he knew was coming. Blair was too emotional right now to deal with Jim. He had a feeling that the months of pent up anger and resentment were going to blow tonight.

With a growl, Simon got off the couch and began to pace. He jumped as he heard the phone ring and rushed over to answer it.

"Hello," he said.

"Hey, it's me," Blair said wearily.

"Blair," Simon said softly. "How are you doing?"

Simon sat down on the couch and he could hear Blair sigh wearily. "I can't do this. I thought I could, but you were right. There's no way I can stay here and pretend that everything is all right. I was going to try for the sake of our friendship, but I realized that there is no friendship anymore, and there hasn't been one for several months. I'm this close to throwing his ass out the fucking window. Damn it, I need to get away. I think I'll take you up on the offer. If you still want me, I mean."

Simon suppressed the urge to shout in joy. Blair was moving in with him. He was only saddened by the fact that Blair was losing Jim's friendship in the process. "Yes, Blair love, I want you here with me. I love you and I want you living here. I love the thought of coming home to you every night. Damn, Blair, come home tonight. You don't have to stay there," Simon said gently.

Blair paused a moment before replying, "No, I need to talk to him tomorrow. I need to let him know that I'm not coming back to the loft. There's just no way. I do miss you though. I wish you were here, holding me. I want you to do me a favor if you would," he asked.

Simon lover chuckled and said, "Anything. You know that."

He heard Blair's breath catch as he said, "God, I love you so much." Simon could hear the faint sob that Blair suppressed. He ached to hold his lover. He ached to sooth him. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm so glad that I finally told you about how I felt about you. I need you to go to the motel room that I was using before I left for Sierra Verde. I have all my stuff there. I also have my car loaded up. Jim was kind enough to pack it up for me," he said in a bitter voice. "Take it to your place and�"

Simon interrupted him. "Our place Blair, this is our place and it has been for several months now," he said firmly.

Simon heard Blair chuckle wearily. "Sorry, our place then. I need you to store my stuff. I'll unpack it later. With you to help, it will get done faster."

"Alright love, I'll do that," Simon said gently.

"I have to go. Jim is getting out of the shower, and I'm so not ready to get into this yet I need some serious sleep before I tackle this," Blair explained in a rush.

"Alright, love, I'll let you go. Call me if you need anything, and remember that I love you," Simon whispered softly.
He heard Blair choke on a sob before saying, "I love you too, and I'll dream of you. Gotta go." Blair hung up and Simon gently placed the phone down. He frowned at the pain he had heard in Blair's voice. He was going to smack Jim upside the head for making Blair feel that kind of pain.

Simon sighed before heading towards the bedroom. He needed to get up early and get Blair's things. His lover was finally coming home.

The next morning Simon woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. He reached over and picked up the phone. "What?" he barked out in irritation.

"Simon?" Blair asked.

Simon's eyes widened in surprise and he sat up in the bed. "Blair, is everything alright?" he asked.

He could hear Blair's faint sigh over the phone and frowned in concern. "Yea, things are ok. Jim's still asleep and I have the white-noise generator on so he can't hear me. I've decided that I want you to pick me up today. I'm going to try to talk to Jim this morning, but I have a feeling it's not going to go well. I want to come home, Simon. I need to be with you," Blair said wearily.

"That's no problem, Blair. I'll come over to the loft after I pick up you," Simon said.

"We're not at the loft. We spend a night in a motel. We were too tired to try to bring anything up from the basement," Blair said.

"All right. Where are you staying?" Simon asked and wrote down the information gave him. "I'll pick up your things and wait for you in the parking lot. Whenever you get done with your talk, I'll be waiting."

"Thanks, Simon," Blair said softly.

"Trust me, it's not a problem," Simon said wryly. Simon hung up the phone and got out of bed. He headed for the bathroom to get ready for the day. An hour later, he had taken his shower and eaten a quick breakfast. He grabbed his keys and left the house. He got into the car and made his way to the motel where Blair had stayed after Jim had kicked him out. He paid for the room and grabbed Blair's things, putting them in the back of his car. He decided that he would wait until he had Blair to get the things out of Blair's car. Blair would be able to drive it back to his house.

Hopping in the car, he made his way to the motel where Jim and Blair had stayed the night. He drove around the parking lot slowly until he found the room that Blair was staying in. He parked the car and turned if off. He got comfortable and proceeded to wait until Blair was done talking to Jim.

Two hours later, the door to the room that Simon was watching opened and Blair walked out. He looked towards Simon's car and smiled when he saw Simon staring back at him. He made his way over to the car, opened the back door and threw his bag in. He shut the door, opened the front door, and got in. He sighed and Simon could see Blair's shoulders relax. Blair shut the door and turned towards Simon. He smiled gently, grabbed Simon's shirt and pulled him close. Blair leaned in and gave him a scorching kiss.

Blair pulled back and grinned. "Hey, lover."

Simon cleared his throat and said, "Hey. How did things go with Jim?"

Blair's blue eyes darkened in pain and sorrow. "They didn't. Our friendship is over. Jim thought I was in love with him. He had the gall to tell me now that it's not inconvenient anymore, he was ready to begin our life together," Blair said with a sneer.

Simon looked at him in surprise. "He said what?" he asked.

"The jerk went and read my journal. I wrote about you, but I never said names. He thought I was writing about him. He couldn't seem to grasp the fact that it wasn't him that I was in love with," Blair said.

"What did he do when you told him?" Simon asked curiously.

Blair's expression grew angry. "He kissed me," he snarled.

"He what?!" Simon demanded.

Blair looked at him in surprise and grinned. "Don't worry, Simon. I took care of Jim." He proceeded to explain what he had done to Jim and Simon had to laugh. He could only imagine the look on Jim's face. "I told Jim the Joel would be by in a couple of hours with the keys to the handcuffs. Do you think you could ask him to do it?" Blair asked.

"I can, but why Joel?" Simon asked curiously.

"Jim and I may not be friends anymore, but I don't want him to get harassed at work. Joel will keep it a secret," Blair explained.

Simon nodded thoughtfully. "So, now what?" Simon asked.

Blair gave him a sultry look and said, "Now, we go home and we make love. I need to be with you, Simon. I need to know that you love me. I need to feel cherished, to feel wanted, and to feel loved." Blair's eyes filled with tears and pain. "I want to know that someone loves me for being me. Not for what I can do for them when it's convenient."

Simon pulled Blair into his arms and kissed him gently. "I do love you, Blair. Just for being you. I'm going to take you home and prove it," Simon whispered.

Blair sighed gently and said, "That's good. I can't wait to start our life together."

"Me as well, love. Let's go home," Simon said and kissed Blair one more time. He let Blair go and started up the car. He drove away from the motel, towards his and Blair's home.

The End
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Hidden Love

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Sentinel Universe. If you recognize it, then it doesn't belong to me. I also make no money off this story.

HIDDEN LOVE