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Disclaimer: I do not own NUMB3RS, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Section 1 —
“Tell me what?”
(Megan POV, Don, Colby & David – Don tells his team
about his injuries then Colby & David fill Megan in)
[Takes place during Looking for Love, Part 16]
It was a typical Friday morning and Megan was looking
forward to the weekend. Unless a big
case came up today, she might actually have
a weekend and she was planning on driving up the coast and finding a quiet
beach. An afternoon staring at the ocean
should do wonders for her tired mind and body.
Work had been more stressful than usual lately, and it
hadn’t been the cases. Something was
wrong with Don, something serious, and she couldn’t figure it out, let alone
help. David and Colby seemed reluctant
to speculate and she couldn’t decide if it was a typical male aversion to discussing
feelings … or something else. Maybe if
she cleared her head enough, some clue that she hadn’t consciously noticed
would surface. All she knew was that Don
was hurting and he needed help, whether or not he’d acknowledge it. This week was the worst so far.
Megan was already at her desk when Don came in that
Friday. He looked pale and tired like he
had all week, but he also looked determined.
Something had changed. Don
gestured for her, David and Colby to join him in an interview room. Why is
he wearing a suit on a Friday?
They sat down at the interview table and waited as Don
closed the shades all around the office.
Megan suppressed a shiver. Bad
things happened in rooms with closed shades.
She looked over at David and Colby who looked just as bewildered and
apprehensive.
Don turned back to them and said abruptly, “Starting Monday,
I’m putting myself on two weeks of medical leave.”
Good! You could use it. Out loud Megan said, “Your fingers? Are they
not healing?”
“That will be the story that I tell people, yes,” Don said
quietly.
“But?” David asked for all three of
them.
Don looked even more tired, and something else,
embarrassment? “But you guys deserve to
know the truth. You trust me to be there
for you and I’ve been an ass the last week and put you guys in danger. This was … brought to my attention last night
and … I’m sorry. Thank god it was a
quiet week.” He had seemed particularly slow this week, both in mind and body.
Megan suppressed her usual urge to ask questions and just
waited.
Sighing, Don unexpectedly began loosening his tie. “I got myself into a situation that I thought
I could handle but I couldn’t. It got
away from me, in a bad way.” His face
and voice turned harsh. “I didn’t hurt
my fingers playing basketball.”
Megan blinked and looked at Don’s splinted fingers. Then she forgot all about his fingers as Don
unbuttoned his shirt.
Megan had seen Don shirtless at various times and had noted
his muscular, well-shaped chest. Now
that chest looked like it had been put through a meat-grinder. She stared, trying to identify the various
marks – forty or fifty systematic cuts, as well as abrasions, burn wounds,
welts. Don wasn’t done as he rolled up
his sleeve and then rolled up his pant leg.
On his arm were the remains of a deep, circular cut around his wrist and
more of the same marks that covered his chest.
On his leg, an even deeper, nastier cut around his ankle and more
slashes, abrasions, welts.
Oh god, Don…
Don straightened back up, the look on his face bitterly
amused. “And this is after a week of
healing. Be very happy you didn’t see me
a week ago.”
Megan swallowed, unable to imagine what it must have looked
like a week ago. Last Friday … what the hell happened?
Don began the process of covering up his battered body, and
said in almost a conversational tone, “It’s extensive. Bruises, cuts, abrasions,
burns on every part of my body that isn’t covered with a suit. Some serious second-degree
burns and some pretty significant anal tearing. My fingers were shattered into at least five
pieces. I lost a great deal of blood and
could have probably used a transfusion but I was too … stubborn to go to the
ER.”
Words struggled through Megan’s mind … covered … anal
tearing…shattered …transfusion…
Colby got the question out first, the one Megan wanted to
scream, “God, Don, what happened to you?”
David said slowly, “Wrist and ankle restraints …”
Restraints? Still
numb and uncomprehending, Megan found herself saying, “You’ve got to press
charges.”
“No,” Don said firmly.” I do not.”
“But—“
Colby’s snapped out angrily another thought on Megan’s mind,
“Why didn’t you call us? You needed help
and you should have called us.”
Rubbing his forehead, Don looked tired and sad. “Because I’m an idiot. I didn’t want you guys to see what I’d gotten
myself into. I was so sure that I could
handle anything, but I was wrong.”
David frowned and asked bluntly, “If you were that badly
injured, how did you survive?”
Yeah, Don, you could
have died from your stubbornness.
Don grimaced. “Not because of any great feat on my
part. A
... friend helped me. He patched
me up and got me through the first two days.”
A
friend? Who do you trust more than your team or your family? “Who?” Megan
demanded.
“No one you know.” Don
was protecting someone, but that didn’t matter a great deal at the moment. “In fact,” he continued, “I owe you guys an
apology for the last month. I haven’t
been on my game for a while.”
You think we didn’t
see that? “We’ve noticed,” Megan
said. “Ever since you
were out of the office for two days because of ‘the flu.’” Then the all important question -- “What
happened a month ago?”
Don pressed his lips together and looked at Colby. Megan looked at Colby too. She had known
there was something Colby hadn’t been telling her. Colby appeared baffled for a moment then some
terrible realization dawned on his face.
He stammered, “Don … I didn’t realize.”
“Eh, it’s not your fault,” Don said, his voice strained and
shaking. “I’d put … what happened in the
category of the breath that toppled the whole shaky house of cards.” Megan ached for the pain in that voice.
David snapped, “What happened?”
Colby made a negative gesture and said, “Later.”
You better believe
you’re telling me later …
Don had put his clothing back together and was straightening
his tie. It was frightening how his suit
covered up all those terrible wounds, making him look normal. He said, “I’ll be in the office all day
today, doing paperwork and desk stuff.
If there’s anything you know you’re gonna need from me in the next two
weeks, now’s your chance. Talk among
yourselves now, but when you leave this room, this is a closed subject. I’ll be at my desk.”
That’s all we get? “Why—“ she started.
“That’s all I’m gonna say,” Don snapped, then gave her the
faintest of smiles. “At
least for now or anytime soon.”
Don shared a meaningful look with David and Colby. Some heavy communication passed in that
look. “You can tell her, if you want.” Don said. “As much as you want, but I think she should
know.” Don looked over at Megan. “It’ll give her analysis material for years.”
Screw analysis
material, what is going on here?
He pushed the door open then said to Colby, “Let me tell
Charlie, okay?” Colby nodded.
Why would Colby …
Megan felt like her head was about to explode with
questions.
As Don let the door swing shut, Megan turned on David and
Colby. “Tell me what?”
“Hang on,” David said and looked at Colby. “Was that what I thought it was?”
Colby grimaced. “Most likely. I
haven’t seen anyone so thoroughly worked over since we rescued a guy from an
enemy ‘interrogation room.’”
“And since Don didn’t want to press charges …” David said.
Colby put his head in his hands. “It must have been because he felt it was his
fault. Dammit, dammit,
dammit.”
“What happened a month ago?”
David asked.
Colby sighed and opened his mouth to reply.
“Wait, wait,” Megan interrupted firmly. “If someone doesn’t tell me what’s going on right this instant I’m going to
introduce you to a few of my favorite krav maga moves.”
Colby gave her a weak smile then looked at David. “You’re the one who started all this.”
David shook his head.
“What a ridiculous series of dominoes this has been …”
Megan folded her arms and leaned back in her chair.
David looked around the room as if searching for how to
start. Finally David said, “So I don’t
just like women … I like men too.”
Megan’s jaw dropped.
Of all the things in the world that she would have predicted to come out
of David’s mouth, this was not one.
“Yeah,” David shrugged.
“Bisexual.”
Megan pulled her face back together then said, “Okay, I’m
surprised but I’m okay with it. But what
does that—“
David gave her a sideways smile. “It’s a really long story, but if you keep
interrupting and saying things like, ‘Oh my god’ and ‘No way’, it’s gonna be
even longer.”
Megan rolled her eyes.
“Alright, sorry. I’ll try to restrain my ‘Oh my god’s.”
“Gonna be hard,” Colby said wryly.
“So …” David said, “It was early last summer and Colby and I
did that long week on the stakeout of the Johnson brothers, remember?”
Megan nodded, figuring that was allowed.
“Well, it was a long week and I was bored and feeling punchy
and I sort of … talked Colby into messing around.”
Megan felt her eyes grow wide and said silently, Oh my god.
Colby smiled at her expression and said, “I’ve spent my
whole life in the closet, a closet that I didn’t even acknowledge existed, and
David here ‘outs’ me to myself in one afternoon.”
Megan bit down on a No
fucking way.
“Yeah,” Colby said.
“Quite a shocker to me too, especially given my army background and my
family and …” He
shrugged. “Don’t think I accepted this
revelation easily. I fought it for
months.”
“Tooth and nail,” David agreed. “But he was still interested in … particular
activities even though he was denying what it meant. Then last winter we spent that week in Watson
and, well, talked Don into joining us.”
Megan jumped to her feet.
“Okay,” she snapped. “Now I know
you’re putting me on. I don’t know what
sort of sick joke this is when we need to be figuring out what happened to
Don.”
David sat back, his face grim. “Don’t believe me? The evidence just walked out of this
office.”
“What?” Megan demanded,
“You’re claiming one of you did that?”
“No!” Colby looked
shocked.
“Remember what I said about dominoes?” David said.
Megan frowned and slowly took her seat again. Colby and David couldn’t be making this all
up. She didn’t think they would be
messing around when Don … looked like that.
Colby picked up the story.
“Watson, now that was one incredible week. We had, just wow, tons of fun. Don had some moments of serious anxiety about
what we were doing, because we were his team but mostly because we were
men. David and I thought by the end of
the weekend that Don was okay with it.”
“But he wasn’t,” Megan said, starting to get a very bad
feeling in her stomach.
“The three of us got together another time after that, out
in the field,” David said. “And he
seemed to be enjoying it all. Keeping it mentally separate from work and ‘real life.’ Then Don and I, just the two of us, ended up
messing around at his apartment one night.”
The image that this gave Megan wasn’t something that she
wanted to dwell on.
David shook his head.
“Not only did it cross over some mental barrier for Don, but Charlie
walked in on it.”
Megan winced. “How
did Don handle that?”
“Once again,” David sighed.
“It seemed like he was okay with it.
Or maybe I just wanted to believe that he was.”
“There were some consequences which were obvious pretty
quickly though,” Colby said wryly.
“Um, yeah.” David looked embarrassed. “Charlie was … intrigued. And he totally chased me down and well, insisted
on a practical demonstration.”
“Charlie?” Megan groaned and put her head in her
hands. “What is this? I’ve stumbled onto some ridiculous sex
farce.”
“I know,” David said.
“It all just … happened.”
“So Charlie and David, for a while,” Colby said. “Don found out and beat David up.”
Realization dawned for Megan. “So that’s
what that fight was about. I’d never
have guessed. Why didn’t I pick up on
any of this?” So much for my powers of observing people.
Colby shrugged. “Maybe because it was all so far fetched.”
“Still …” Megan said.
“I should have noticed something.”
David gave her a half smile.
“We ain’t done yet. Colby found
out about me and Charlie and about ripped my head off.”
“I can understand why,” Megan said. Charlie was … Charlie. He was the team’s young, effervescent,
obnoxious, wonderful little brother. The
concept of sex and Charlie didn’t seem to connect, like your own younger
siblings having sex. Thinking about it
rationally, of course Megan knew Charlie must have had sex sometime. He’d had at least one girlfriend and then
there was his little dance with Amita.
“I also found out,” Colby said, not bothering to disguise
his envy, “that David had both Don and Charlie at the same time.”
Bile surged into Megan’s throat. “Oh God,”
Megan said, “That’s sick.”
“We set up ground rules,” David said defensively. “And I like to think I orchestrated it so it
was just weird, not sick.”
“You ‘like to think…’”
Megan growled.
“Though I can help but wondering if that contributed to …”
David pointed towards the door that Don had left through.
Megan shook her head in disgust. “What’s next? I know there’s more.”
“Well,” Colby said, “Don and I got together for a whole
weekend once. That was pretty
intense. We had a great time for the
first two days then on Sunday morning it was like a switch had been flipped and
Don was cold and rude and I left quickly.”
Megan nodded. He was still struggling to deal.
“It was just a few weeks after that when Charlie and I got
kidnapped.”
Grimacing, Megan remembered the long helpless hours and
trying to keep Don calm. If there had
been any leads, any suspects, Megan really didn’t know what Don would have done
to them to find his brother and Colby.
“Charlie and I, we thought we were gonna die there.” Colby said, his eyes
distant. “He got me to admit that I was
in love with him.”
Megan’s eyebrows shot up.
“And were you?”
“Of course I was, am!”
Colby said, offended. “I wouldn’t
just say something like that.”
“So …”
“After that, Charlie and me got
together. I mean really together. He’s been half-living at my house for
months.”
“Wow,” Megan said.
“Is this serious?”
“Very,” Colby said firmly.
“Very serious.”
“I see.” Megan looked
at Colby for a long moment, trying to think beyond her personal shock. Colby and Charlie would indeed make a great
pair, Charlie needing Colby’s strength and Colby needing someone to
protect. She was sure it was a great
deal more than that, but long-term relationships had been founded on a lot
less. “Did Don find out?”
“Yeah, but he wasn’t nearly as upset about it this time,” Colby
said. “Guess because he’d finally
started thinking of his brother as an adult.”
“But he wasn’t happy,” David said. “And he hasn’t been interested in me since
that time with Charlie.”
“Then a month ago,” Colby said slowly, finally coming back
around to David’s question. “Don wanted
to mess around. I told him no, that I
was Charlie’s now. He had a hard time
accepting that and I’m afraid I had to hit him.”
The pieces fell together in Megan’s mind and she jumped to
her feet, knocking over her chair. “Goddamn
you two!” she said fiercely. “You’re
like little boys playing with dynamite!
First you introduce Don to a very frightening side of himself
-- sexuality is one of the deepest rooted aspects of a person’s
self-image. Then after you toy with him
for a while, you abandon him. And not
only abandon, but move on to his little brother! Don already has a big enough inferiority
complex about Charlie, now it’s sexual as well!”
David and Colby winced and stared down at the table, looking
for all the world like two boys in front of the
principal.
Megan picked up her chair and threw herself into it. “Here I thought I worked with adults,” she
grumbled.
The two men exchanged uncomfortable glances.
Megan rubbed her forehead.
This Friday was not turning out how she’d hoped. “After hearing the whole ridiculous story,
it’s pretty obvious what happened.”
Colby and David looked blank.
Megan glared at them.
“What happened is that Don went out and found someone who cared about
him even less than you do. Someone who
fed on all of Don’s confusion and fear and self-hate until Don believed that he
deserved being beaten up and burned and whatever else happened to him.” Remembering the pain and self-loathing in his
voice, Megan shook her head. “Poor
Don. God, what a ride you guys took him
on.”
“You can’t blame us entirely for this,” David snapped. “Don did a very good job at hiding what he
was going through.”
“Yes,” Megan said with irony. “He did.
I think he even hid it very well from himself, until lately.”
Colby sighed. “No
wonder he didn’t feel like he could call David or me when he got hurt.”
“Or me,” Megan said, “because that would require revealing
at least some of what he’s been happening.
We can only be grateful that there was someone that Don could call,
whoever that was.”
“Billy Cooper?” David
hazarded.
“Doubt it,” Megan said.
“Cooper doesn’t seem like someone who’d be
understanding to another’s weaknesses, though it’s hard to say. I do know that he would have killed whoever
did this to Don, and Don would have had a different attitude about him.”
They sat in silence for a moment, racking their brains, but
they couldn’t think of anyone that Don would have turned to after his …
torture. He said that it had been a man,
and Don wouldn’t have been able to reveal his vulnerability to a woman anyway.
Finally, Megan said, “So anyone want
to remind me what the current status is in this crazy mess? I lost track with all the bed-hopping.” She did remember, but wanted to make sure.
“Charlie and me,” Colby said. “Committed.”
“David free and loose,” David said.
“Don under the thumb of some unknown bastard but rescued by
some other unknown man,” Megan finished.
“We’re investigators, we should be able to
figure this out.”
“No!” David snapped.
Megan and Colby stared at him.
David said grimly, “If we go digging, people are going to
find out. Another reason that Don didn’t
turn to us is he knew this would ruin his career in the FBI.”
Colby winced and Megan nodded slowly.
“We can’t expose him,” David stated.
“So we do nothing?”
Megan demanded.
“Yes,” David said simply.
“We support him, help him, and wait for him to tell us who did this to
him.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
Colby asked.
“Then we ask him, privately,” David replied.
“And if he doesn’t want to tell us?” Megan said.
“Then we help him see reason,” David said with a sideways
smile. “Surely the three of us can be
that persuasive.”
“Okay,” Colby said, “but not too long. I can’t stand the bastard believing he got
away with it.”
“Yeah,” David growled.
“Okay,” Megan said.
Then she shook her head, utterly bemused. “You guys … all of you … are just
unbelievable! Not one of you ever
thought it might be a good idea to just keep your fly zipped?”
“If we had,” Colby said quietly. “Charlie and I would never have gotten
together and that’s a pretty terrible prospect to me.”
Megan sighed. “So
there was one good consequence—“
“And tons of great sex,” David grinned.
“—and at least one very bad consequence,” Megan finished.
David’s grin vanished.
“Yeah.”
They sat in silence for a moment, absorbing the implications
of the whole mess.
God, what a series of
dominoes …
“Now what?” Colby asked at last.
“Now we give Don all the support he’ll let us but also make
sure he doesn’t feel guilty for taking two weeks off,” Megan said.
David and Colby nodded and the three of them got up from the
table. The two men left and Megan slowly
opened the shades. Bad things did happen
in rooms with the shades drawn.
I wonder what sort of room Don nearly died in. Was it brightly light or dim? Cold or warm? Large or claustrophobic? Did Don see the knife as it carved up his
body or did he close his eyes and hope that he would somehow find love and
acceptance from the person wielding the knife? Tears filled Megan’s eyes and she stood
holding on to the wall for a long moment.
Then she got herself together, and went to do what she could for Don.
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