The Heart in Interphase | By : codysaoyrn Category: Star Trek > Star Trek Views: 4166 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
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STAR DATE 5693.2
"I must say I prefer a crowded universe much better. How did you two get along without me?" Kirk asked, looking anxiously at Spock and McCoy. After all, a ship having its captain temporarily declared dead was no small thing.
Barely, thought Spock. But before he could voice this sentiment—which was unseemly for a Vulcan, anyway—McCoy interrupted with his standard banter at Spock's expense.
And I must remember, no matter how stressful the situation, Spock reminded himself, even as he countered with a riposte, That he does not recall anything of the parasite incident. This fact meant that, over these years, Spock had had to behave as though they had never fallen in love.
---
The act was easier for McCoy, for he had been disguising his affection as admiration long before the parasite brought everything to the fore. When life aboard the ship returned to normal, so did he. He assisted on away missions, indulged Kirk's heavy-handed metaphysical musings, and tended to patients that came and went, save for one: Spock and his broken heart.
It was always late at night when Spock would find some reason to buzz McCoy down to sickbay. After a small shot of whatever liquor happened to be handiest to help himself stay awake, McCoy would make his way down to find Spock already inside, hovering by a biobed. The Vulcan never sat—didn't want to betray any psychological disturbance, McCoy figured, though these sessions were evidence enough. There would be a pause, during which neither of them would make eye contact, then Spock would clear his throat.
McCoy had grown so used to the same opening lines—"There must be a way to reverse this. It would be far more convenient for all of us if I did not have to contend with these...emotions," said with such distaste that he wanted to shiver—that it took him a few minutes to realize that Spock was saying something different this time.
"—increasingly difficult for me to continue this charade, Doctor."
"I, hold on—how many times have I told you, you can call me Bones?—what did you say?"
Spock looked at him with an expression that was almost a grimace. "Your duty in this...relationship is to listen in order to be able to give advice, Doctor."
Brushing off the snub (he knew it was reflexive, a remnant of their old antagonism) McCoy gestured for Spock to repeat himself. Inclining his head with veiled irritation at the Human potential for distraction, Spock obliged.
"The events of today have made it clear how highly I value the captain's...companionship. Simply spending time with him, even trying to teach him Vulcan ways as I would a...potential mate is not enough. His absence today has made me realize that not only is it foolishness to think that it would have been, but that I may not be able to continue deceiving him."
McCoy just stared at him, struggling to process all that had just been said. Gone was the abhorrence for emotions; in its place was...acceptance? Grudging, yes, but acceptance nonetheless.
"...I need a drink."
---
While McCoy ordered the computer to conjure up an alcoholic beverage—"strong enough to knock Scotty out"—Spock found himself fascinated by his own hands, tangling and untangling his fingers as though if they were unraveled, he would find answers to questions he had never known to ask.
"Spock, do you know what you're saying?" McCoy gestured expansively, nearly spilling his drink. Taking a preemptive step backwards, Spock raised an eyebrow and met McCoy's gaze with unblinking eyes.
"I have given much thought to this, as, I am sure, have you. If I were to explain to Captain Kirk my situation, perhaps—"
"Perhaps nothing! He doesn't remember anything that...that thing did; are you proposing to remind him? Have you thought at all what such a shock could do to him?" McCoy said, voice rising as the doctor in him grew angry. "He could shut down, hell, even have a psychotic break!"
"That would be highly unlikely. I believe that, with some persuasive techniques, he could remember those events on his own, thus ruling out any cause for sudden shock. However, the first obstacle lies in determining which technique would be most effective," said Spock, methodical as usual.
Out of habit, McCoy went to the computer and began scanning the ship's library for medical texts that would help the two of them—then his indignation caught up with him and he slammed his fist on the table.
"Now look here, you little devil, you're not going to rope me into this! It's been hard enough trying to stay awake at five goddamn a.m. just to remind you that you're half-human and are going to have some fucking feelings, but now you want me to help Jim remember he was raped?" He wanted desperately to grab Spock and shake him, but he restrained himself—when Spock's Vulcan intensity kicked in, there wasn't much anybody could do.
They stared at each other from across the room, a tableau of awkwardness; Spock with his back stiff against the wall, McCoy leaning forwards aggressively out of jealous concern for Kirk (and, to a lesser degree, Spock), and an empty biobed between them. Taking advantage of the apparent standstill, Spock bowed mockingly (a skill he seemed to have mastered) and returned to his quarters, leaving McCoy alone once more.
Frustrated at Spock's ability to somehow always have the last word, even when he hadn't said a thing, McCoy gulped down the last of his drink—a particularly vile Romulan cocktail, now that he paused to notice—and sat down to resume browsing the library.
Damned if I do and damned if I don't, McCoy thought. And since there's no way I'll be able to get back to sleep, might as well try to find something that'll stop that crazy Vulcan from exploding this weird three-way relationship we've got to bits.
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