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She Had the World	By : justsammich Category: Supernatural > Het - Male/Female Views: 3869 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, and I am not making any profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-She Had the World
- 1
She Had the World

Author just sammich

Characters/Pairing Castiel, Anna Milton (Anna Milton/Castiel, mentions of Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Warnings Slight non-con? IDK, kinda.

Rating NC17, again, to be safe.

Disclaimer I don�t own Supernatural or any of the characters it has provided us to play with.

Notes I adored Anna until the most recent episode, and even still, I kinda sorta like her still. It�s a problem. The title is from the Panic! At the Disco song of the same name, and this is a deleted scene from episode 5x13. Also, this is my first venture into het-land in this fandom, and I kinda feel dirty not writing about two boys. And there will be a coda written for this episode that goes along with this missing scene, so hold tight.
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When the first signs of consciousness crept back into his mind, Castiel wasn�t able to register anything over the dull ache at the base of his skull and terribly dizzying feeling that persisted even behind closed eyes. He feared that, should he face the room he�d been left it, the walls would spin in a sickening haze of red and white and faded pinks. A soft groan rumbled in his sore chest; even the thought of it was enough make him nauseous. Castiel understood that it had been in Dean�s best intentions to leave in a room that provided comfort to newlyweds, but he doubted the hunter had figured in the effect of the garish colors and overall gaudiness of the room and what it would do to Castiel.
He tried in vain to shift from his slightly upright position, the pillows behind him sliding lower, but gave up when the movement made the dull ache thunder into a storm of pain. Castiel was not accustomed to this. He sighed defeatedly and rested his head back against the overstuffed pillows, praying to slide back into unconsciousness. He had not felt anything after he�d slipped into his semi-comatose state after Dean had helped him out of his jacket�where had he placed it, he wondered�and shoes. The hunters mutterings had not fallen on completely deaf ears, though, as Dean had probably hoped they had. A small smile tugged at the corners of Castiel�s mouth; he may have been stupid and reckless, but at least he was cared for, cherished.
Sleep�rather unconsciousness, because angels couldn�t sleep, could they?�evaded him like a shadow disappearing around the corner. No matter how far he chased after it, it laughed and danced out of reach. In his haze of fatigue, Castiel would not have been surprised if he�d made an attempt to reach out and physically capture it. Instead a slightly numb feeling began creeping up his legs, and over time, it became increasingly more annoying. Castiel did not attempt o move again, for fear that he would make himself sick. A soft and bitter chuckle slipped past slightly chapped lips; once upon a time, he wouldn�t have had to worry about such things. My how the mighty had fallen.
�I don�t think you were as ever as mighty as you believed yourself to be, Cas.�
If he could have willed himself upright, Castiel probably would have tumbled from the bed with the force of doing so. His eyes fluttered open, though remained half-lidded, as he regarded the red-haired girl standing near the foot of the bed he laid upon. His breath quickened with a need to do something, anything, but his body still required more time to recover. �Anna,� he said, but it hurt to speak and it came out no louder than a hoarse and harsh whisper. Castiel wondered vaguely if that was how people felt when they came down with pneumonia; if it was, the sorrow he felt for them rose tenfold.
She smiled sadly at him, and her pity was the last thing he wanted; it was her fault that he was in such a state, after all. Anger swept through him like a windstorm, and the little he was able to move was met with little resistance as adrenaline coursed through his veins. Castiel managed to right himself long enough to sway slightly forward and back, his vision clouding as a violent fit erupted from his chest. Blood stained the comforter and glared at him in blinding fashion against the white linen. He clapped a hand to his mouth, but another, more gentle hand pressed against his shoulder, easing him back to the pillows that Dean had taken care to set up for him before going in search of his young parents.
�Easy, Cas,� Anna murmured, and he glared up at her. The familiarity on her lips stung and made him shift away from her as best he could as the coughing subsided and a slightly wet-sounding wheezing for air. �I didn�t plan on hurting you in all of this, I hope you understand that.�
The bark of laughter that erupted from him hurt, but the pain was somehow satisfying. �After everything you�ve witnessed me do, you think that threatening either of those boys wouldn�t elicit some pain on my part? You aren�t that stupid, Anna, and I know Zachariah isn�t so clever as to make you believe such a foolish thing.�
Anna�s jaw ticked slightly as she clenched it and Castiel felt another wave of satisfaction ebb the pain away. �What do I have to say to make you understand that I am acting on my own, without any orders coming down from Zachariah or any one of our siblings? I escaped, Cas, I wasn�t sent.�
�Stop calling me that,� he said, looking away from her burning gaze. �You don�t have the right anymore.� And there was nothing she could say that would make him believe, but Castiel didn�t say as much. If Anna had been able to decipher such a passing thought before, surely she would be able to see his belief in the way he held himself. As far as he was concerned, his former superior was no longer worth the words.
�I�m almost surprised I ever had the right,� Anna countered bitterly, but her venom was wasted. Before her words could have affected him�had affected him�and that had been part of the cause of this own fall, but now� With her threat still palpable in the air, Castiel was untouched by the regret her words were supposed to evoke. �I�m surprised anyone other than Dean has that right.�
Castiel�s head snapped up and the movement was dizzying, but he glared at her through the haze. �You know nothing,� he snapped, and how dare she assume that she did. Anna�s lips curled into a smirk, and Castiel prayed for the strength to break that look of pleasure. It was unfortunate that the blood on the comforter had already dried.
�I know more than you think,� she said, settling on the edge of the mattress. The weight shifted him, and Castiel planted his hands on the sheets to keep from swaying. �Your thoughts weren�t as guarded as you hoped, Castiel, you can�t be so blind to think that no one foresaw your choice before you even knew which side of the line you would stand on.� Her voice was condescending, as though she was speaking to a child, and though he was in fact younger than her, Castiel did not appreciate being spoken down to. He never had, only now he chose not to be when he could not have avoided it in the past.
�If everyone knew, then why��
�You were expendable,� Anna said, looking over at him. The revelation was not as earth-shattering as he had assumed it would have been. Castiel supposed he had always known it to be true, but he had had faith. He had chosen to believe that his usefulness had exceeded pulling Dean Winchester from Hell, but deep down, he had known he was wrong. But he doubted that expendable was the right word. He had, after all, been brought back after suffering at the hands of Raphael. He wasn�t expendable; he was simply not a necessity to that particular play.
�Apparently I�m not as expendable as you would believe, Anna,� he said with conviction. �I�m alive, after all.�
Anna laughed softly and turned to him, her hands splayed on the sheets near his own. He leaned back to place more distance between them. �And what was it that Raphael suggested? It wasn�t our Father, Cas, he�s gone; accept that,� she said, her eyes alight with a kind of madness that was terrifying. It wasn�t the first time that Castiel had wished that Dean had left him with more than his own hands to defend himself with. They were, in all sense of the word, useless. �You�re just too blinded by faith in a man that is just as foolish as yourself to see that.�
�You had faith in him once, too, Anna,� he reminded her, and he managed to scoot closer to the far edge of the bed. Anna shook her head and crept closer. �You knew that he could set things right; you pled with me to stop him from becoming what he�d been in Hell. You pled with me to let this happen!� Castiel�s arms shook, but not from exertion he found. No, it was from anger. Anger at Anna for assuming she knew anything; anger at Anna for trying to condemn him for something she�d done to herself long ago.
�And you sold me out to them! You let them take me back and do the same thing they had done to you, Cas, when they ripped you from this vessel,� Anna said as she reached out grabbed the front of his stained white shirt. �You let them put me through pain infinitely worse than anything in Hell could hope to inflict, and you couldn�t even come clean about that to your precious charge. He was stung by that fact, Cas, the look on his face when I told him� It was the most satisfaction I�d felt in ages.�
Castiel shoved her away from him, but in the process, toppled backward. The rush of motion left him momentarily breathless as he stared up at the mirrored ceiling. The mattress wasn�t nearly as comfortable as the advertisement would have one believe, Castiel concluded as he returned to himself. He felt the bed dip, and he almost prayed that unconsciousness would take him again; but a part of him feared what may happen should he once again lapse into such a vulnerable state. Castiel groaned softly as the ability to breathe returned and Anna swam into his vision.
�You once cared for me, Cas,� she said gently. Her hand came up and brushed over his cheek while the other rested on his chest, and Castiel jerked his head away. The ache at the base of his skull exploded and made his vision swim. His eyes screwed shut and Anna�s laughter was muted. �You cared for me once�still did when you saw me after so long; I could feel it�but now� You wish me dead, don�t you?�
�I told you to stop calling me that,� Castiel murmured, the gusto gone from his sails. He felt ill and heavy and too human, and it was as though it had taken everything he had left to shove her away. The grace within him seemed much dimmer than it had been in months.
Anna chuckled softly as she caressed his cheek, and all Castiel could do was turn away from her. �There�s not much you can do to stop me right now, Cas,� she murmured, her voice suddenly much closer and much louder though she spoke in dulcet tones. He swallowed dryly as she leaned in, her warm breath puffing against his ear. Despite himself, a shiver raced up his spine, and Anna chuckled again. �I still care for you, and I think a part of you still cares for me.�
Castiel clenched his jaw to stop to hopeless sound that had bubbled up inside. He didn�t care for her, and she had done her damnedest to sully the image of the one he did care for. But fighting was futile, and Anna knew that. She took pleasure in it. Castiel opened his eyes and glared up at her. �I wish they�d killed you,� he told her, his voice hollow but holding so much honesty that it surprised even him. Her eyes darkened and his closed once more, a heavy sigh escaping him.
�Well, they didn�t,� Anna hissed, and the tone was reminiscent of the one she�d used on Uriel as he gaped at her in surprise. This time the shiver that wracked his body was not one of unexpected pleasure. He had killed angels, sure, but Anna had done it without remorse; Castiel had felt for his siblings for some time after he�d washed the blade clean.
Her teeth nipped at the shell of his ear, and the gasp that escaped him was not unwarranted. His musings crashed into the silence that surrounded him, and Castiel wondered if anyone would care if a cry of pain or terror was heard from this god-forsaken room. He doubted it. The hand on his chest pressed more firmly as she slid closer to him; her slight form did not betray the power that radiated from her. Castiel found he was slightly envious of the power she still commanded, but thoughts of such things disappeared as Anna�s tongue slid over the shell of his ear once more before she sucked the lobe between her teeth.
�Ah�� his voice came out in a breathy gasp, and his otherwise useless body lit up like a star-filled sky. Castiel had pondered what such things could possibly be like but had never been privy to such information. After watching humans for so long, it would have been imbecile not to wonder what sex and the acts leading up to it felt like, but angels were never meant to fall as he had without being lost to the pit or humanity entirely. But Castiel had never hoped to experience such things with someone he had once considered a sister.
With much effort, he brought a hand up and pushed at her shoulder; his other hand grasped at the sheets, searching for any means to ground him. �Anna, stop,� he breathed, but it sounded pitiful even in his own ears. She hummed softly as her lips trailed down the column of his neck, and he assumed she thought the same. Still he continued to push at her as her one hand carded back through his hair. It was such a caring gesture, but it didn�t belong in this situation, and it made Castiel�s skin crawl. �Anna, stop,� he repeated, trying to sound more forceful, but it was lost as her other hand scratched down the front of his shirt.
�I was once more important than anyone in your eyes, Castiel,� Anna murmured against his throat. �You looked up to me, and a part from my pity for them, that pedestal you held me one was a contributing factor in why I chose to fall.�
This time the helpless whine Castiel had suppressed before escaped with a vengeance. He did not want to hear that; he already carried so much on his shoulders; her fall was not something he cared to add to it. But she was right; he had held her higher than any of his siblings. It was a place she belonged, though, on that pedestal. She had been his superior, his guiding light when the trenches were dark and treacherous. Uriel had done the same. Why couldn�t Castiel�s own punishment come as swiftly and wholly as Uriel�s had?
�You can�t� You can�t pin that on me,� Castiel stammered. He still refused to look at her, though the need to plead with her to take it back was a heavy one. �You can�t do that to me after you said it was because you felt bad for them, Anna, it isn�t��
�It isn�t fair? You think watching someone who once worshipped and adored you turn you over to those you ran from is fair?� Anna asked, her nails digging in just above the top hem of his slacks. He jumped visibly and she held him down with strength that seemed so very out of place on such a small woman. �You�ll learn soon enough that life isn�t fair, Cas; if you�re going to survive here, you�ll learn that fact fast.�
Castiel finally turned his head to face her, his eyes wide and pleading. �Anna, you ca�� But he couldn�t finish as her lips covered his own and her tongue plundered his mouth with a finesse that only came with practice. A soft moan escaped him, but it wasn�t one of encouragement; it was one of disgust. She was soft and pliant�though forceful with her ventures�and that wasn�t what Castiel had wanted to feel. This slight woman would never live up to the fantasies he had indulged since long before his fall from grace. Vivid in his imaginings, it had never been smooth and supple skin that appeared before him. It had been hard and rough and scarred, marked with his own hand. It was not Anna; it had never been Anna.
Her mouth became more fevered and persistent against own, and all Castiel could do was hold tight to her shoulder and the sheets as he tried to metaphorically gasp for air. It wasn�t until her cool hand slipped under his shirt did he pull away, and that action left him tasting his own blood for the umpteenth time that day. His lip stung where her teeth had caught him off guard, but Castiel gasped for breath and his vigor was renewed as he pushed at her. �Get off me,� he breathed, his other hand curling around the wrist of her exploratory hand. Kissing was one thing; what it seemed she was aiming at was another one entirely, and the thought made his stomach do somersaults.
Anna stared down at him and the green her eyes had almost disappeared, the pupil having bled out in her attack. She looked almost demonic, and Castiel shuddered at the thought. �You�re saying stop, Cas,� she drawled, regarding him humorlessly even as she laughed softly. She shifted slightly, her knee drawing closer, and pressed ever so slightly, and Castiel was left breathless. �But I�m sure your vessel would appreciate me more than the one you�ve been futilely hoping for.� She dug her nails in and his hips stuttered against her thigh, and Castiel couldn�t help the moan that he let out.
He tilted his head back shamefully; his eyes closed as she leaned in close once more. �This is one of the perks of humanity, Cas,� she murmured. �Don�t fight it.�
Castiel laughed breathlessly. He wouldn�t have been fighting if it was something he truly wanted from her, but that was not the case. But the sensations were so amplified with their newness that, even with his words of protest, his vessel responded accordingly even though he was the only one left inhabiting it. He was powerless against Anna�s advances because of the simple creature he was becoming, and she knew that and was exploiting it to the best of her ability. It made the whole act feel much dirtier than it should have.
Her lips started back down his neck, and Castiel whined breathily as her fingers deftly undid the buttons of his shirt. He hadn�t realized how cool the room was until it ghosted across his skin and raised goose bumps to the surface. She hummed softly as she traced patterns and signs he recognized over his chest and stomach, which jumped under the feather light touches. The reactions spurred her on and damned him even further. Her mouth reached his collarbone and she took care to lavish it with more attention, and Castiel tried to slide further up the mattress to lessen the friction between them; it didn�t work.
Anna gripped his hips and held him, and his eyelids fluttered helplessly as she leaned in once more and pressed just this side of tantalizing against the erection he was sporting. He groaned lowly and brought a hand up to her auburn hair. It slid through his fingers like water, and Castiel had never been one for long hair even before he had seen Dean Winchester. Her head tilted instinctively into his touch, and he was able to do no more than stare as she kissed down his bare chest. It was a surreal feeling, and Castiel felt much of himself go numb as he tried to escape the inevitable, but there was no one to replace him. He was alone; alone and at her mercy.
Fingers moved to his belt and as they pulled it free, Castiel�s hand curled tightly in the locks of hair he had in his hand. Anna hissed sharply and looked up at him, and he could see the anger in her eyes, but damn it all, if he could be somewhat of a hindrance, he was going to be. He glared back defiantly. That defiance, however, was lost when she cupped his erection through his slacks and squeezed enough to make his mind white out for a moment. �Fuck,� he breathed, and he was sure he heard Anna�s laughter somewhere, but it seemed infinitely far away, and his hand gave way.
Anna was murmuring something, but Castiel could not for the life of him understand what she was saying; which shouldn�t have been possible because he still retained most of the knowledge he�d has a member of the Host, and he�d been pretty good with languages. He sucked in air that he did not need and tried to ground himself, but that was becoming increasingly difficult as Anna�s lips brushed his hipbones. Castiel swallowed dryly and blinked his eyes open to stare up at the mirrored ceiling. Their reflections were distorted in the cheap glass, but the image of himself sprawled in such a wonton fashion and Anna slowly moving south made him wish he could see what he could not take his eyes from.
Castiel felt her fingers dip beneath the elastic of his boxer briefs, and he hissed softly as warmth was replaced with cool air. He closed his eyes tightly and reached blindly to push her away once more, mumbling too soft and strained for Anna to acknowledge him. Her hand caught his wrist and she kissed his fingertips; Castiel felt his skin burn each time she pulled her lips away. She pressed his wrist into the mattress and with her free hand took hold of his cock, and Castiel gasped loudly into the silent room. He breathed through clenched teeth and tried to come down from the high that rocketed through him as she squeezed and began to stroke in a measured and even tempo. He couldn�t help their Father�s name spilling from his lips.
Anna spoke softly and Castiel shook his head even though he was deaf to her voice. There was too much feeling much too quickly; it was painful and enlightening at the same time, and though he wanted it to end, Castiel couldn�t find the words to tell her to stop anymore. His vessel was reacting against what he wanted, but who was he to deny it a sensation it had long since forgotten. He moaned pitifully and thought Anna�s hand would be his undoing before her lips trailed up his shaft, and Castiel had to bite down with enough force to break teeth to avoid embarrassing himself. He saw stars.
It was like receiving revelation for the first time, knowing everything the universe had to offer and nothing at the same time. Castiel understood why this was one of humanities baser instincts, even if it was driven by the need to procreate. It felt so good, but it hurt at the same time; it left both men and women gasping for precious air as though they were drowning. Castiel could have drown in the sensation if he allowed himself to, but the knot of wrongness weighing in his stomach had not disappeared with Anna�s attentions and he doubted it would not matter how she tried. They were siblings, and she was not the one he imagined.
Castiel vaguely registered that she had released his wrist but was fully aware when the warmth of her mouth gave way to cool air again, but the whine that welled up died on his lips as her mouth found his once again. The taste of himself lingered on her tongue, but it was not enough to kill the sensation her hand was still bringing forth. Anna kissed him hungrily, and Castiel kissed back if only to hang on and survive. She struggled above him for a moment, and his thoughts drifted from her hand briefly before she moved to straddle him, and Castiel pulled back to stare up at her with wide eyes. �Anna�� he murmured, shaking his head despite his hazy vision, but her name fell deafly on her ears, and Castiel tumbled head over heels into a rabbit hole he�d never even imagined.
Anna moved above him, and the sounds he heard himself make sounded far from human. She chased them down with kisses and moans of her own, and Castiel began to move with her. She was warm and wet and soft and will, but all of this was lost on him. Behind his eyelids he felt hard muscle as one hand settled on her slender hips and rough skin as he thrust to meet her. He saw shattered green eyes, and felt a scar beneath his other hand that curled around her shoulder. The reality was that he felt neither, and a sort of frenzied anger settled into his movements as Anna rode him willingly. Never, in all his time of walking amongst men, had he imagined he would get so lucky as to know another�s body as well as he knew his own, but in his fantasies it was never someone smaller and lighter than him, and Anna had taken that from him.
Castiel seized up, shifting their position, to smother the sounds she was making with his own mouth. He chased them away in the same fashion she had tried to chase his fears and protests away, but Anna had failed where he had been able to render her almost silent. They moved together, no longer awkwardly or uncoordinated, but in synchronized movements, but Castiel took no pleasure from it; he just wanted it to be over even as he took control of the situation. Anna gripped helplessly as his shoulders, tearing skin with her nails, and Castiel willed it to heal before anyone besides the two of them would take notice.
She shuddered against him and went stock still, a deafening gasp erupting from her as her head fell back. Her body tightened and squeezed, and Castiel�s vision went white once more. He moved through their orgasms, and it was only until he could no longer hold himself up did he fall back against the mattress like a ragdoll. Anna swayed above him but otherwise did not move. Her eyes were gently closed, and Castiel hated her for looking so peaceful when he wanted nothing more than to wash himself of this travesty.
Anna looked down at him after what seemed like an eternity, and he hissed softly as she drew away from him. He felt numb from the waist down, the scratches on his shoulders still burning brightly. She leaned in to place a kiss on his lips, and Castiel turned his face away from hers. She did not chase after him, but in his peripheral vision, he could see the sad smile tug at her lips. �I am sorry,� she murmured, and Castiel scoffed and stared at the ugly red headboard. The mattress dipped beside him and he heard the metal slide of the zipper of her jeans followed by the rustle of wings. Castiel looked up at the mirrored ceiling and wished for it to crash down upon him.
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She Had the World