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Comfort	By : cowgirl65 Category: 1 through F > The Big Valley Views: 810 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own The Big Valley and make no money from writing this

Chapter List
- 1-Comfort
- 1
Jarrod went to take another swallow of scotch before he realized the glass was empty. Damn, he thought, and rose unsteadily to his feet. He made his way across the darkened office, picked up the crystal decanter and sloshed the last bit of alcohol into his glass. Draining it in one swallow, he set down the glass carefully and went behind his desk to collapse back into his chair.
Jarrod’s head sank into his hands. How could he not have seen it? Was he so stupid that he could never learn? Why did he keep defending the scum of the earth, getting them off so they could perpetrate their abuses on others? In his mind, he could see the faces of the innocent bystanders who’d been injured in the wild shoot out that followed the spree of robberies his client went on only days after his acquittal. It was no consolation to the despondent lawyer that the man hadn’t committed the actual robbery he was on trial for. He didn’t have to take the case and if he hadn’t…
So wrapped up in his guilt, Jarrod didn’t hear the door open and jumped when a strong but gentle hand gripped his shoulder.
“Just ran into Heath when I got back to town,” Dave said. “He told me what happened and guessed rightly that you’d be beating yourself up over it.”
“Go away,” Jarrod slurred and tried to brush his lover’s hand away. “Y’don’t wanna be with someone like me.”
“Yes, I do,” Dave replied firmly. “You’re drunk, Jarrod. C’mon, I’ll take you home and you can sleep it off.”
Jarrod shook his head. “Can’t go home. Don’t wanna see anyone, know what they think of me…”
But Dave wasn’t about to give up. “Well, I’m not gonna leave you here. Are you coming with me on your own or am I gonna have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you out?”
Jarrod opened his mouth to tell Dave exactly where he could go, but as Dave stared him down, his shoulders slumped in defeat and he nodded.
Dave considered carefully. It wouldn’t do Jarrod’s reputation or peace of mind any good to be seen in the state he was, so the sheriff quickly decided on a plan. He helped Jarrod to his feet and guided him down the back stairs, into the alley and took him a roundabout route to the livery stable. Jarrod was quiet on the walk and didn’t say a word as Dave helped him into a buckboard. Dave drove slowly and thought about the talk he’d had with Jarrod’s brother earlier.

“How much has Jarrod talked about, Dave?” Heath inquired after he asked to speak to Dave privately about Jarrod’s recent trial and its aftermath.
Dave wished he hadn’t been out of town during the incident and looked at the blond cowboy closely. He didn’t know how much of the substance from his heart-to-heart talks with Jarrod he should divulge.
Heath took off his hat and set it slowly on the desk. “I met Jarrod before I knew I was a Barkley, or before I knew who he was, but we both needed something the other had to give. And then after he found out who I was, to know that Jarrod trusted me to take care of him…” Heath turned concerned eyes on Dave. “Jarrod’s going into a self-destructive spiral, I could see it in his eyes. I don’t think he’s been in that kind of place for a long time and I’m worried.”
Dave leaned back against the desk. “You know I’d do anything for him, Heath. He’s told me some of it, about this place in San Francisco and some of the things that went on there.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “But it sounds like you’re talking about more than just me tying him up and having my way with him.”
“A lot more.” Heath softly told Dave about the times Jarrod had come to him, or he’d cornered Jarrod. He told of the punishment Jarrod had sometimes asked for and willingly submitted to along with the comfort and forgiveness that his brother needed.

Dave glanced over at Jarrod’s bowed form as he drove to a secluded cabin that Heath had told him about. Heath’s revelations hadn’t really surprised him; there were depths to Jarrod that he’d sensed but never really explored. Heath was worried about his brother and when Dave found Jarrod drunk and despondent in his office, he shared those concerns. He was glad Heath had talked to him and equally glad he’d told him about the place that the blond used to take his brother when they needed privacy.
Setting the brake when they arrived, Dave helped Jarrod down. “C’mon, let’s get you inside so you can sleep it off.”
Jarrod passively let Dave steer him to the lower bunk and undress him, a far cry from the usual passion he exhibited when they had a chance to be alone. Dave tucked a blanket around him, went outside to take care of the team and returned to crawl under the blanket beside Jarrod. As he held his lover close, Dave prayed that what Heath had described wouldn’t be necessary for Jarrod to come back to him.
*
Jarrod groaned at the pounding in his head. Something tightened around his chest and he felt the warm comfort of Dave’s lips on the back of his neck. Comfort he didn’t deserve.
“How’re you feeling?”
Jarrod closed his eyes at the concern in the soft drawl. “Doesn’t matter,” he sighed.
Strong hands grabbed his shoulders and turned him over. The deep blue of Dave’s eyes met his. “Yes, it does, Jarrod. It matters to me and it matters to your family.”
Jarrod closed his eyes tightly. “I’m not worth it.”
“Dammit, Jarrod!” The volume of Dave’s voice renewed the pounding in Jarrod’s head. “I love you! Doesn’t that mean anything?!”
Jarrod shook his head. He didn’t want Dave to see him break down, but the tears escaped anyway.
Then he was enfolded in a tight embrace. “God, Jarrod, I’m sorry,” Dave whispered in his ear. “Tell me what you need. Tell me what you need me to do.”
Jarrod couldn’t. He’d revealed a lot of himself and his fears to the other man, but how could he admit this? How could he ask for what he needed when his actions might have caused the deaths of more than one person?
Dave reached down to stroke Jarrod’s groin. “I just want to make you feel better,” he murmured as he kissed his lover’s neck. Jarrod pulled away as his member started to harden. He didn’t deserve that. Dave sighed and got out of the bed. “All right, Jarrod. You win.”
Choking back his anguish, Jarrod knew he deserved nothing better than for Dave to leave him. But then he was surprised when Dave hauled him out of the bed.
Dave pushed him down as he gently ordered, “On your knees.”
Jarrod obeyed without hesitation. He trembled as he wondered how much Dave knew and what he was going to do.
“Heath talked to me,” Dave said as he tied Jarrod’s hands together and secured them to the top bunk. “He told me what the two of you went through and what you did for each other.” His hand reached out to cup Jarrod’s face and turn it to face him. “I’ll do this for you, Jarrod. I’ll do anything to keep you here with me, even if it’s not something I’d choose.”
Jarrod’s cheeks were wet with tears. He was humbled that Heath knew him well enough and cared enough to talk to Dave and that Dave loved him so much. “Dave…” His words were cut off by a forceful kiss.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”
Dave couldn’t bring himself to hurt Jarrod too much. He loved him and that just wasn’t something he could do to someone he loved. But sometimes love was hard, he reminded himself as Jarrod flinched underneath the stinging blow of the buggy whip. He stopped after only a few strokes and asked, “Enough?”
Jarrod shook his head. “No, Dave, please…”
Dave closed his eyes. A spanking was one thing, that was up close and personal enough to be a turn on, but this was different. He was only able to administer five more blows before he dropped the whip and sank to his knees behind Jarrod’s shaking form. “I love you, Jarrod,” he murmured as he kissed the red welts on his lover’s back. He unfastened Jarrod’s hands, turned him and held him close. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You defended a man who was innocent of the crime he was accused. It didn’t turn out the way any of us wanted, but dammit, don’t you think I feel that way every time I have to open that cell door and let someone I know is guilty free due to lack of evidence?” Dave grabbed Jarrod’s face and gently tipped it towards him. “You’re a good man, Jarrod, and I’m blessed to have you in my life.” He took Jarrod’s lips in a tender kiss and tasted the salty wetness of tears.
“I’m so sorry, Dave,” Jarrod choked out. He finally broke down and sobbed in the security of Dave’s arms.
“Not needed,” Dave told him. He held Jarrod tightly and stroked his hair and the back of his neck until he started to relax. Then he kissed Jarrod again and this time Dave was determined to take events to their desired culmination. His tongue sought entry to Jarrod’s mouth, to dominate his lover in the way he enjoyed. “Make love to me, Jarrod,” he whispered as he pulled Jarrod onto the bunk.
“Dave …” Jarrod started to protest, but Dave cut him off with another searing kiss.
Dave looked intently into Jarrod’s eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you?” Side by side, he draped one leg over Jarrod and started pushing against him. “I love you and I want you. I can’t think of anything you could ever do that would change that.”
Jarrod buried his head in Dave’s shoulder as his cock was stroked by both Dave’s hand and his hot flesh. His fingers dug into Dave’s ass for more leverage and his hips strained against Dave. Dave’s mouth sought his and Jarrod lost himself in the sensations of being kissed for all he was worth, the firm muscles of Dave’s backside and the sliding of their hard cocks against each other. When it came, his release was long and powerful and Jarrod was able to regain some of his stability wrapped in Dave’s arms with Dave’s slick member pulsing against his when his lover came as well.
Dave held him for a long while before he asked, “Better?’
Jarrod nodded. “Thank you, Dave,” he said quietly. “I do know you love me and I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love you back.” He stayed nestled in Dave’s embrace and sighed heavily. “I thought I was over all that, but I guess it can still hit me once in a while.”
“I’ll always catch you if you fall, Jarrod,” Dave vowed. “Just like I know you’ll always be there for me.”
They didn’t have to say anything more, both men complete in the comfort they found in each other’s arms.
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Comfort