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Lexx: Trip of Love
By : lexxfan4life
Category: G through L > Lexx
Views: 1325 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Lexx or make any profit from it.
Chapter List
- 1-Lexx: Trip of Love
- 2-Page 2
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The Lexx flies past the moon, heading away from Earth. Everyone is on the bridge.

Stanley: Bye bye Earth

He gets down from the pedestal, and crouches down by 790.

Xev: I won't miss it.

Stanley: Robot head - I want you to find us a new planet in this universe, a good planet - and by that I mean a good planet for me and Xev to live on, not a good planet for you to get us horribly killed on (slaps 790) Understand?

790: Not a word.

Stanley: (gets up) Well, Kai does, and Kai is gonna demand that you start scanning. Right Kai?

Kai: 790, you do as Stan asks.

790: Anything for you, my decarbonized dream doll.

Stan, Xev and Kai leave the bridge, walk to the galley.

Xev: Do you think Lyekka will keep her word and only eat Japan?

Stanley: Absolutely. Lyekka always keeps her word, to me anyway. See, she - whoa!

In the galley, under the food nozzle, there is something that looks like a large pear. It's wriggling, making squeaky balloon noises.

Xev: What is that?

Stanley: Beats me.

Kai: And me.

Xev: It seems alive somehow.

Kai: Yes.

Stanley: Well, what - Kai, kill it!

Kai touches it.

Stanley: Anybody home?

Stan touches it, pulls his hand back.

Stanley: Hello?

It starts wriggling more quickly.

Stanley: It's attacking us! Kai, do something!

There is a flash of light, and the pear splits open. Inside, there is a glittery hologram of Lyekka, above a plant with two small red spheres floating around it. Lyekka smiles. Stan steps closer.

Stanley: Lyekka?

Lyekka: Greetings, noble crew of the Lexx, we like you, and we salute you, and because we like you we have left these beautiful presents for you. Please, accept them, and enjoy them. Brave captain Stanley H Tweedle, fearless Xev of B3K, to each of you we offer a single Gelassa berry - the rarest and most exquisite delicacy in the entire known universe. They are so tasty, words cannot describe them. We hope you enjoy them.

Stan reaches over and takes one of the berries, so does Xev.

Lyekka: And for you Kai, we offer our highest tribute - a living Yowratang plant. Sing for it, and the blossom will open - but only if it likes your voice. Friends - these are our offerings. Enjoy them, and think of us, as we will always think of you. We wish you well on your journey to the stars. Peace, and goodwill.

She disappears. Kai picks up his plant - mossy base, blue globe surrounded by big leaves.

Stanley: Now that was classy, huh? Lyekka, she's just the best. What do you make of these things?

Xev: I don't know. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to eat it - it could be poisonous.

Stanley: Oh come on Xev, I trust Lyekka.

Xev: Well - you first.

Stanley: Don't be so suspicious - Kai, are you afraid of these plants?

Kai: No.

Stanley: Huh? If these things are half as good as Lyekka says they are, then they gotta be way better than Lexx's nostril spew, you know what I mean?

Xev: OK, eat it than.

Stanley: Well, why don't we both go together?

Xev: No way. Captains first (grins).

Stanley: Captains first? Well, OK. Sure. Yeah.

He takes a bite, then coughs and chokes.

Xev: Stan? Are you OK?

Stanley: Oh, that's good. No - that's, that's good! Oh!

Xev: Good. Well, I'm still going to wait to try mine, just to be sure. You should wait too before eating anymore Stan, hmm?

Stanley: Yeah yeah, you're right yeah, you're right, I should wait, yeah, that's long enough.

He eats the rest of his berry, makes yummy sounds. Kai walks to the passageway with his plant.

Kai: I will retire to cryostasis while the Lexx seeks out a new planet. Wake me if you need anything.

Xev: Sure.

Stanley: That's good, that is so good!

Xev tucks her berry safely between her breasts.

Stanley: Are you gonna - ?

Xev: Yeah. Just to be sure.

In the cryochamber, Kai puts his plant on the cryopod control unit. He sets the controls, gets inside his cryopod, which closes. The plant flutters its leaves.

Later. Stan and Xev are on the bridge.

Stanley: So, I see you still haven't eaten your Gelassa berry

He reaches for it, but she turns away.

Xev: No. Why?

Stanley: Well, see my berry was - you know, it was OK at first, but after that it really didn't do too much for me at all, so - I thought, that if you're not gonna eat yours maybe I should eat both, and see if that makes a difference.

He tries to grab it again.

Xev: I didn't say I wasn't going to eat my Gelassa berry, I said I wanted to wait and see what happened to you before I did.

She takes it out.

Stanley: Nothing happened! So come on Xev, give it to me.

She sniffs it, licks it.

Stanley: Look, you're not gonna eat it, not now, not later, it's just gonna spoil so come on, hand it over.

He reaches for it again, but Xev pops it into her mouth, smiles. Stan gets up on the pedestal, sulking.

Stanley: Not fair.

Xev: Wow.

Stanley: Good, isn't it, huh?

Stan smiles. Xev makes yummy noises.

Stanley: Yeah, see? Hey robot head, how long till we reach that first planet?

790: 9 hours, 27 minutes. How long before you impale yourself on a pike?

Stan gives him a look.

790: I had to ask.

Stanley: Funny.

Later. The Lexx passes a planet - it looks dusty, with chunks of it missing.

Stanley: I thought you said, and I quote, it is a life bearing planet?!

790: It was. It just isn't anymore.

Xev: What happened?

790: I'm not sure, but I would calculate that all life on the entire surface of the planet has been eaten clean away.

Xev: Lyekka and her sisters.

790: Very possibly.

Xev: Well that is not so good.

Stan gets down from the pedestal.

Stanley: Now look Xev, we don't know for sure that it was Lyekka and her sisters. Besides, even if it was, this happened long before we worked things out with Lyekka. And it's in their nature to eat planets, what else do you expect?

Xev: Exactly.

Stan gets back up on the pedestal.

Stanley: Let's just move on to the next planet

But the next planet is also grey and dead.

Xev: 790, what's this planet?

790: It is called Criddock 14. It was highly advanced, certainly by Earth standards, and densely populated with over 23 billion people.

Stan puts his hands over his eyes.

Xev: We should talk to Kai.

790: No way! Stay off my turf, bitch!

Stanley: Yeah, maybe we should.

Stan and Xev leave the bridge.

790: Tell him I miss him.

In the cryochamber, Kai is standing by the cryopod control unit, singing to his plant. Stan and Xev enter the cryochamber.

Xev: Kai, you're awake.

Kai: Yes, I am. Is there a problem?

Xev: There is. We've been to several planets now and each one we've been to has been all eaten up. All life on them gone. We think Lyekka must have done it.

Kai: Where are we now?

Stanley: We're just leaving the planet Criddock 14. 790 said there used to be billions of people on it.

Xev: And now there's none. They must have died horribly. (giggles) Really horribly.

Stanley:(giggles) Eaten alive! What a way to go, ha ha! Poor bastards!

Stan and Xev laugh. Kai looks at them, confused.

Kai: Are you two - all right?

Xev: Better than those people.

Stanley: That's OK Xev, see we still got time to die a worse death than them, I mean we've come close a million times.

Xev: No, a million and one!

Stanley: A million and one! Who's counting? (laughs)

Kai: I have never seen the two of you behave in this way.

Stanley: Well now that you have, you're not gonna live to tell about it - 'cause you're already dead, get it? Corpse man!

Xev puts her hand on his shoulder to steady him.

Xev: Stanley, Stanley, Stanley.

Stanley: What, what, what, what?

Xev: I think it's those berries. They must be affecting our mood. Shh!

Stanley: I think you're right.

They put their fingers to lips, then laugh. They stand still, trying to be serious.

Stanley: Okay. All right. What do we do about our latest desperate situation?

Kai: Perhaps you should concentrate on pleasant matters until the effect passes.

Stanley: Like what?

Kai: Like singing to my Yowratang plant, to see if it will open for you.

Stanley: Hey, Okay, Okay, that's a great idea, I'll sing.

He holds the plant, starts to sing. Xev laughs. Xev takes the plant from Stan. She holds the plant up high, sings. Kai takes the plant back, puts it on the cryopod control unit. Kai sings, Stan and Xev listen - Xev snapping her fingers. The blue ball of the plant splits open. Lots of pretty glittery lights.

Xev: That was really special.

Stanley: Yeah. I love you guys.

He turns away to face the cryopod, picking at it.

Xev: Oh Stan.

Stanley: I'm sorry, it's corny, I know, I know, but you know we've just been through so much together and right now - I just really care about you guys.

Xev: Hey, no, it's not corny at all. No, I feel the same way.

Kai: Me too.

Stanley: Huh?

Stan and Xev look at Kai.

Kai: Though I am dead and do not feel as such, I am not without an appreciation of our kinship. There is indeed a strong bond between us.

Later. All three are lying on Xev's bed, with their heads together at the center.

Xev: I'm thinking that maybe the time has come for us to develop a special relationship.

Stanley: Well hey, I'm all for that, when do we start?

Xev: Maybe sooner than you think.

Kai: If Prince should ever fulfill his promise to make me once again truly alive, I can envision that the thought of making love with you Xev might actually become appealing.

Xev: Wow. You are very different tonight.

She kisses him on the cheek.

Xev: I'm suddenly really tired.

Stanley: Yeah, me too.
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Lexx: Trip of Love	By : lexxfan4life Category: G through L > Lexx Views: 1325 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Lexx or make any profit from it.

Lexx: Trip of Love