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Crystal Clear Blue	By : Ellixer Category: S through Z > Xena Views: 2546 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Xena or its characters. I make no money, this is purely for entertainment

Chapter List
- 1-Crystal Clear Blue
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 1
- 2
Title: Crystal Clear Blue
Rating: NC-17
Author: Ellixer
Pairing: X/G
Disclaimer: Characters and show are owned by Universal and others. The story is mine. I make nothing.
Note: As with most people, I detested the finale of the show. So this is after Gabrielle Does bring Xena back. The resulting pain and love.

Pushing to pull me closer to you dear
Deeper than gravity is how I must be near
- Maxwell
I’m wondering how many more times we’ll lose each other? How many more times are we going to have to fight to see the other again? I can’t really take comfort in the fact that we will be together in some way every lifetime; because I’m living this life right now. I just want to stop, if only for a short time, and live a life free of death, a life with just us.
She’s over there filling the water skins, both of us quiet for the moment in the darkness. I refused to stay any longer than we had to. I have to leave this mountain, this region to feel any bit of security whatsoever. Her death was so close to permanent, I haven’t come to terms with that just yet.
We move on again, and I can’t bring myself to touch her. I’m too afraid that this is all an illusion, or a dream that I’ll wake from and Xena will be gone. I can tell she senses my tension, but does nothing to fix it. Right now I just want to walk till I collapse. So that is what we do.
Days have passed, and we are still not close enough to home; but we are nearly out of Chin. With both Chin and Japa behind us I might rest easier but I can’t say for sure. Few words pass between us, not that she hasn’t tried I just can’t speak quite yet.
We finally cross out of Chin and I can’t seem to hold anything in any longer. I stumble off my horse, collapsing to the ground as sobs rack my body. Grief. Xena rushes to me, holds me as strongly as she can in her arms. She is not without her own tears.
‘Xena.’ I try to speak, to say everything that I’m feeling but I can barely form words in between the sobs that continue to rattle through my body.
‘Shhh.’ She tries her best to comfort me, it’s nearly impossible at this point. I grasp her face in my hands, our lips crush together but mine do not stay on hers long. I pepper her face and neck with little kisses in a desperate attempt to feel and touch. Xena finally manages to separate us, resting her forehead against mine. My breathing is ragged, I can’t seem to reign in my feelings.
‘Gabrielle.’ She starts but I don’t let her finish. I explode upward and away from her.
‘I can’t do this anymore Xena!’ I make no attempt to stifle the tears that flow like a river from my eyes. There’s pain in hers as she fumbles for the right words to say.
‘I…. What do you mean?’
‘I can’t keep losing you. It’s killing me.’ I drop back to my knees in defeat.
‘I promise..’
‘You can’t promise!’ I cut her off before she can speak a lie. My words hit her like a sword slicing into her chest. She physically shudders and gulps down her own tears. ‘How many more times Xena? You’re not going to keep coming back. It’s going to be permanent one of these times.’ Can she not see the desperation, the pain that is reeking out of my every pore?
‘Do you not remember the promise you made before?’ I show her my palm where a scar flows across the skin. I grab her hand, showing her own palm with matching scar. I grasp our hands together.
‘You promised yourself, your soul to me. That you wouldn’t hurt me.’ I speak of the quiet bonding ritual the two of us shared with no one else. Just Xena and I under the stars one night mixing our blood forever and every lifetime. She can’t seem to form words but the tears are flowing freely down her cheeks now.
‘Xena…’ I just don’t know what more I can say. Letting go of her hand, I slump down in defeat.
‘Im sorry Gabrielle, I’m so sorry.’ She grasps me again pulling me against her; whispering these words into my ear, over and over like a mantra. ‘It hurts me too.’ She finally manages to whisper. I know it does, but it doesn’t ease my own pain.
‘Can’t we just stop, just for a little.’ I plead with her.
‘I will do anything to make you happy.’ Her eyes search mine. And we just stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. Finally I pull away.
‘I need to get some wood.’ I have to step away for just a moment, compose myself and my thoughts. She lets me go without a word. There is snow on the ground and I’m only just beginning to notice it. When I gather enough kindle, I return to our camp. Xena has set up a partial shelter to reflect the heat of the fire, and to protect us from any more snow that might fall.
After I get a fire going, I sit on the ground trying to breathe and bring peace back. It’s an impossible task. I feel her fingers softly on my shoulder. Craning my head up I see her hand extended down towards me. I give in, giving her my hand and letting her lead me back to the shelter. We sit down together as she wraps a fur around us both, pulling us closer together. I lay my head against her shoulder, staring into the fire. There’s no more for me to say.
‘You know I love you.’ She whispers. All her words come out quiet as if each syllable is a struggle to say.
‘I know.’ I do, with all my heart. My eyes fall closed as I try breathe in her familiar scent, feel her warmth radiate against me.
‘Gabrielle..’ She turns to look at me, I stop her with a finger to her lips. There’s no more for us to say right now. I’ve memorized her face so many times before but I feel like I’m looking at her for the first time. My thumbs run across her lips and down her chin. I take her face in the palm of my hand, bringing her closer. Our lips meet again, this time I’m more gentle and soft. I want to kiss her for an eternity. Our tongues meet in a slow intimate dance.
I move to straddle her lap, wrapping my arms around her neck. I don’t feel the cold, only Xena. Her hands run up through my hair as she moans into my mouth. I could be slow, I could be gentle, but at this very moment I feel an urgency and a need that I have to quench. My hand clenches her hair pulling her head back and exposing her neck. I lick at the exposed skin, then I latch on and suck, making sure to mark her. I want what’s mine.
Her fingers grasp at my back, grabbing the material attempting to remove it. I grab my sais bringing it up to the laces that bind my top to me. In one movement I slice the lace causing the material to open. She pulls the top away from my body, her hands warm against my back. I abandon my sais, grasping for the material of her kimono, ripping it away from her skin. The cold hits our exposed flesh, causing bumps to raise on our bodies.
I return to her neck, feeling her pulse beneath the skin. My fingers splay across her breasts, just relishing the feel of them in my hands. Her skin is so warm. A groan escapes my lips, reverberating against her. She gasps, nails digging into my back. I can’t stand to be away from her lips for long so I go on a search for them. It takes seconds for me to find my treasure. I bite her bottom lip lightly, pulling, before I let go, my tongue tracing across the same spot.
I push her down against the furs, straddling her stomach at the same time. Slowly I grind, her body pushing up against me. Xena’s hands slide slowly from my hips up my body, fingers stopping just under my breasts which bounce with my movements. But this isn’t quite enough.
I flatten my body against hers, my fingers begin an exploration of her every curve. There’s no point in waiting, once I’m close enough I thrust four fingers into her. My thigh pushing against my hand for extra friction and power. Her immediate reaction is to shout, body arching up into the air. My lips capture a nipple, my tongue flicking across it as I suck. A sheen of sweat covers us both.
Xena’s body starts to tense, her walls spasming against my fingers. But that is not going to stop me, I just pump my fingers harder and faster until she comes again, a scream escaping her lips. Finally, I collapse against her, my energy depleted. I can’t seem to stop the tears that come to my eyes, but the love I feel is overwhelming.
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Crystal Clear Blue