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A Small Price To Pay	By : cowgirl65 Category: 1 through F > The Big Valley Views: 2762 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own The Big Valley and make no money from this.

Chapter List
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Jarrod rubbed his face wearily. It had been a hard few weeks. A vision of bodies spattered with blood surfaced behind his closed eyelids and the young lawyer quickly opened his eyes. No one had realized that the conflict with the railroad would come to such carnage and Jarrod’s gut clenched as he remembered holding his father’s bloody body in his arms after they’d been ambushed. He wasn’t ready for this, to become head of his family and the one their friends and neighbours were looking towards to stop the railroad’s illegal land grab. He’d only been a lawyer for just over a year for gods sakes; fighting someone as powerful as Hannibal Jordan was well beyond his scope.
You’re a Barkley, Jarrod told himself firmly, you’re older than Father was when he came to California with nothing and he built an empire. You have to succeed or live with your failure for the rest of your life.
Sighing, Jarrod looked back at the documents he was drawing up in preparation for what was sure to be a long, gruelling legal battle against the Coastal and Western Railroad. Once he was done, he could file them with the Supreme Court, leave Sacramento and head home to his family while he awaited the court's decision. He needed to be there for them and for himself, to try and heal the wounds left by Tom Barkley’s death. If he didn’t feel up to stepping into his father’s shoes, how must his twenty-two year old brother be feeling trying to run the ranch and gain the respect of men decades older than himself? Jarrod needed to be home to support Nick, he needed to be there as a strong arm for his mother and a shoulder for his youngest brother and sister to cry on.
He worked until he could no longer see the words clearly. Maybe he should take a break and get some dinner. But he didn’t really want to sit in the hotel’s crowded dining room, keeping a stoic face so no one knew how recent events were affecting him. Instead, he went down to the lobby and asked the desk clerk to have the restaurant send him up something to eat.
“I know I’ve never enjoyed eating alone.”
Jarrod’s gut clenched at the familiar voice. He debated pretending he hadn’t heard, but that would be taking the coward’s way. “Mr. Jordan,” he said as he turned to face the older man.
“Mr. Barkley.” Hannibal Jordan took a drag on his cigar and watched the smoke swirl away. “I was just going in for dinner myself. Maybe you’d like to join me.”
Jarrod could only think of one thing worse than eating dinner alone in the dining room and that was eating it with the man in front of him. “Maybe some other time.” He turned to leave, but halted when Jordan suggested, “How about I join you then? Many a satisfactory deal has been worked out behind closed doors over steak and brandy.”
Jarrod hesitated. Jordan was speaking the truth; he’d helped his father close more than one business deal that way since he came home from the war. Being alone with the unscrupulous rail baron made his skin crawl, but Jarrod knew he had to put aside his distaste for the sake of the greater good. “All right,” he agreed and told the desk clerk, “Make that for two, please, and a bottle of your best brandy.” He gestured for Jordan to precede him and followed the older man up the stairs.
Once in his room, Jarrod accepted Jordan’s offer of a cigar and the two men made small talk about the weather, the price of cattle and other irrelevant subjects, deliberately avoiding any mention of the land dispute or Tom Barkley’s death while they waited for the food to be brought up. It wasn’t a long wait and soon they were sipping the fine brandy and eating the succulent steak.
At least, Jarrod assumed the brandy was fine and the steak succulent. The meat felt like sawdust in his mouth and he wouldn’t have noticed if there was vinegar in his glass instead of liquor. He finally gave up and pushed back from the table.
“You said something about a satisfactory deal?”
Jordan smiled. Jarrod was reminded of a fox spying an unguarded henhouse and had an uneasy feeling. “I was very disturbed to hear about your father. I had no wish for events to turn so violent.”
“A pity others didn’t feel the same.” Jarrod had no reason to believe Jordan wasn’t behind the ambush that killed his father, but he wasn’t going to let it show until he knew how the meeting was going to proceed.
Jordan leaned forward, elbows on the table and his hands clasped. “I have a proposition for you, Jarrod. May I call you Jarrod?”
Jarrod gave a non-committal wave of his hand and Jordan continued.
“I’ve recently discovered we share some of the same… interests, if you will.”
Jarrod’s mouth grew dry. He can’t mean… The young lawyer refused to think the unthinkable.
But Jordan’s next words confirmed that the unthinkable was possible after all. “I’m a self-indulgent man, Jarrod, and the main reason I’ve amassed the wealth I have is so I can pursue those indulgences.” The lecherous look in his eyes confirmed Jarrod’s fear. “You’re a very well-favoured man and I have it on good authority that you don’t object to the attentions of other men. I’m willing to walk away from the farms in the San Joaquin Valley if you’ll come to my bed.”
Speechless, Jarrod could only stare at the man staring back at him. He thought he’d been discreet, but it obviously hadn’t been enough. It was during the war when he discovered his aberrant desires, the close quarters and need for an escape from the horrors of the battlefield providing ample opportunity for surreptitious gropings under the blankets, for bare bodies to strain against each other and the occasional daring of a wet mouth on a hungry groin. Jarrod mentally kicked himself for giving into his lusts that time in San Francisco, but the man had been hot and eager and Jarrod had stupidly ignored the possibility of others finding out.
“And if I say no?” Not that Jordan wasn’t physically attractive, but what he’d tried to do to Jarrod’s neighbours, not to mention his father’s death, plus his use of sex as a bargaining tool turned Jarrod’s stomach.
Jordan leaned back in his chair, took a sip if his brandy and smiled. “If you say no, our little dispute could turn uglier than it is already. I may abhor violence, but some of my associates don’t have my scruples.” Jarrod contained his snort of disbelief as Jordan continued, but his next words made the young lawyer’s blood go cold. “It would be tragic if, in their zeal to continue the fight, a stray bullet found an innocent like your mother or sister.”
It was blackmail of the worst kind and Jarrod briefly considered throwing it back in Jordan’s face. But only briefly. He could try; he could arrange for 24-hour protection for his family but knew too well that might not be enough. If had had to whore himself out to Jordan to keep them safe… Jarrod swallowed down the dinner that threatened to come back up at the prospect. His family was his life and he’d do what he had to to ensure their safety.
“You have a deal.” Jarrod almost didn’t recognize his own voice. “You won’t make a move against the farmers or my family and you can have me.”
“Wonderful. How about right now?”
Jarrod nodded; he might as well get it over with. Jordan walked over, pulled him to his feet and kissed him roughly. Jarrod didn’t respond; his hands clenched against the revulsion the other man’s attentions brought him.
Jordan chuckled. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to be all that willing. In fact, I’ll enjoy it more that way.” Large hands came up, grabbed the lapels of Jarrod’s shirt and buttons went flying as Jordan tore it off. Jarrod shuddered as Jordan’s hands roamed across his chest and it took all of his willpower not to flinch away, not to push off those hands that made his skin crawl. His pants suffered the same fate as his shirt and Jarrod found himself pushed back on the bed as Jordan wrenched off his boots to tear off his pants the rest of the way.
Jordan stared at him and licked his lips. “What a beautiful, firm body,” he observed, his voice growing husky. “And think, soon you’ll be writhing beneath me as I take my pleasure from it.”
Jarrod forced himself not to cringe at the cruel gleam in those ice blue eyes. Yes, being with a man aroused him, but that was for the giving and receiving of mutual pleasure. Even though he’d agreed, this wasn’t going to be much different than rape.
The young lawyer shivered as Jordan started sucking his way across his chest and closed his eyes. He yelped when Jordan bit a tender nipple and brought tears to his eyes; Jarrod tried not to think about what was going to happen as his cock and balls were handled roughly. He’d been intimate with other men, but never to the point of actual sodomy. The thought of a thick cock shoved into his ass made his heart pound anxiously, but Jarrod had no doubt that was what Jordan planned to do.
He tried to ignore the hand squeezing and pinching his most private parts, but he couldn’t ignore the slick finger that pushed insistently between his buttocks. Breathing deep, Jarrod tried to relax but when Jordan forced that finger inside, even though it felt like he’d used some sort of oil, there was a sharp stab of pain.
“God you’re so tight,” Jordan muttered, pumping his finger in and out. “I bet you’re still a virgin. I can’t wait to have my cock in there.”
Jarrod was roughly flipped onto his stomach. He felt Jordan’s hands on his shoulders holding him down and Jordan’s knees between his, spreading them apart. He wanted to cry out and tell Jordan that the deal was off, but the remembered sight of his father’s bloody body and staring lifeless eyes wouldn’t let him. A small price to pay, he tried to tell himself, but when he was brutally impaled on something hot and hard, Jarrod struggled to get away. He couldn’t move; Jordan had him firmly pinned to the mattress and all he could do was bite down on the sheets to stifle his scream. The other man didn’t take it slow either, thrusting ruthlessly with his hands gripping Jarrod’s shoulders hard enough to leave marks. “Fuck, you’re tight,” he heard muttered again. “You’re one of the best things my cock’s been in for a long time.”
Jarrod thought he was being ripped apart. There was a flash of something that was almost like pleasure, but the revulsion he felt and the agony lancing through his body overwhelmed anything else. He clenched his hands tight and tried to concentrate on the bite of his fingernails into his palms instead of the searing pain tearing through him. The assault went on for what seemed like hours until there was a final excruciating stab and a grunt of satisfaction. He almost fainted with relief when Jordan pulled out and rolled him back over. There was a satisfied look on his face and Jarrod shuddered to see blood on the man’s cock.
“Bled just like a virgin,” Jordan told him smugly, “and I see you liked it too.”
How Jordan could believe that, Jarrod had no idea, but when he looked down, his cock was still partially erect and covered with sticky fluid. Jarrod cringed in shame and revulsion. His body had betrayed him; he’d cum from that brutal almost-rape, unwittingly or not, and if that got him off, what sort of depraved person was he? He lay there shivering as Jordan pulled his pants back on.
“Maybe we can do this again sometime,” Jordan told him, walking over to the table and tossing back the last of the brandy before he left the room.
Jarrod remained lying on the bed for a long time before he attempted to stand. Pain shot through him and he could feel a hot wetness dribble down his legs, but he resolutely put one foot in front of the other and tried to forget Jordan’s comment of ‘again’. Instead he thought about how lucky he was that the hotel had indoor plumbing and that he’d paid for a room with a bath as he reached the tub. He turned on the water and when he straightened up, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. A wave of revulsion went through him when he looked at his naked body, the bruises left by Jordan’s fingers and the swelling where Jordan’s teeth had sunk into his chest. He’d never been self-conscious before, if anything he was guilty of vanity where his appearance was concerned. But his body had betrayed him by its reaction to Jordan’s assault and now all the sight brought him was loathing and shame.
So he listened to the running water as the tub filled, the noise helping to block the memory of what happened from overwhelming him, but as he lowered himself into the tub, he couldn’t stop the devastating shame. Desiring men was a perversion in itself, but being brutally sodomized by a man he hated obviously aroused him and that was ten times worse. Jarrod scrubbed and scrubbed until his skin was raw, but he didn’t think he’d ever feel clean again.

A/N: It isn’t uncommon for a man to ejaculate during a routine prostate exam, not the most arousing of situations. Erection and ejaculation are physiological responses that can result from mere physical contact or even extreme stress. Contrary to popular belief, even today, those responses do not imply that a man wanted or enjoyed being sexual assaulted.
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A Small Price To Pay