Longing | By : Makoichi Category: 1 through F > Doctor Who Views: 3070 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I dont't own DR Who or Captain Jack, the BBC does. I make no money off this story. |
Hello! This is my first soujourn into fan fiction after many years absense. This is also my first first DR Who fic ever. Im posting just the first Chapter at the moment. It's in a completely raw form presently and if I have any takers to help me Beta this Ill repost edited versions and subsequent chapters. I have four chapters currently written and there will probably be a total of five or six depending on how it all goes. This is a new pen name for me too. Once upon a time I actually had fans here! So read, comment, enjoy! No flaming please, constructive critisism with specific points only or Ill delete them.
**A note, I once reposted chapters with a note saying I was reposting them for minor editing and gramatical error corrections and got flamed for "reposting just to put my story at the top of the list- this is a complete turn off and if it happens again Ill stop posting stories here. I awlays include a not if Im repostiing purely for editing purposes!**
NOTE 2: this is that editing repost- but not to fear there is another chapter too.
I didn't actually proof read my original post because I was so damn eager to get feedback on it. This new version smooths some bad places and I have edited for my tendency for run-on sentences. I also have realized that there are a lot of disclaimers that are not actually present in the very WAFF fluffy first chapter. I promise you- this thing has some very dark points and everything will be realized at some point!
***DISCLAIMER: I own nothing...I make no money...no profits here! I do not own any of the characters here, except maybe a few tertiary ones that pop up to support the plot. The BBC is the real god here. Have fun1START STORY/END AUTHOR DRIBBLE
Chapter 1
Captain Jack was delighted, somber, excited and romantic all at the same time. He tilted back the goblet of wine, sipping it and closing his eyes briefly as if it really were the taste of the wine he was savoring. He sat in the doorway of the Tardis, one foot dangling outside and kicking back and forth like a child on a swing. A plate of pasta that was anything but what Jack considered to be an ordinary plate of pasta was in his lap.
The Doctor sat opposite him, his own wine in hand, and both feet hanging over the edge of space, tennis shoes dangling. They were parked in the nothingness near a forming solar system. Meteors, gaseous clouds and fire swirled and coalesced beautifully.
"You certainly know how to wine and dine a guy," Jack commented. He'd been looking more at the Doctor than he had been the scene he'd taken Jack to see over dinner. It had been three days dammit and Jack had been hoping that this would be the time when he finally got to be the Doctor's only companion. This time there was no female competition, no Rose or Martha to steal the Doctor's gaze.
The Doctor smiled, "Well I do my best to impress," he said in that playful tone that made Jack's belly flutter. He gazed out into the violence and the beauty of creation, his eyes misty and his voice turning all too serious. "There's just so much to see out here, Jack. It's fascinating no matter how old I get or how many versions of this I see. Whole universes born, they grow, they die."
Jack had been trying to catch the Doctor's gaze for more than a few seconds and had not been successful. He sighed and watched the scene with the Doctor instead. It turned out that this incarnation of Doc was more talkative and personable than the last but was still just as damn hard to flirt with. Even now, even though they had been alone together for three full days after the Doctor had arrived annanounced and picked him up, Jack still felt like the Doctor never really looked at him.
Sighing, and not wanting to lose the giddy high alien wine and food produced, and the Doctor himself had given him, Jack sat up higher, propping his back against the door frame of the Tardis. He took a less civilized gulp of the wine, downing the last half of the glass. "Any more of this?" he asked.
The Doctor seemed to break from his revery and he looked at Jack holding the glass out to him. "I think that was the last of that."
Without thinking Jack threw the glass out into space. It tumbled away from the protection of the Tardis, spinning on its way to becomming part of a new galaxy. Both men watched it until it passed out of sight.
"That was my best set of goblets," The Doctor guffawed, mocking anger.
"Pfffffffffft," Jack said, grinning, "You stole them when you stole the wine."
"Who said I stole it?!" The Doctor gasped, doing his best to look offended and failing. The Doctor sipped from his glass, smiling and giggling into it, his playful mood returning as fast as it had gone. A little bit of it remained on his lip and suddenly that was all Jack could look at.
Jack laughed and leaned forward, "I do because I helped!" He reached over to the Doctor, and gently ghosted his fingers across the man's sharp jawline, cupped his chin for just a moment and brushed the wine away from his lip.
Finally, FINALLY! The Doctor looked at Jack in the way he'd been wanting him to for centuries. For a fleeting moment there was desire in those penetrating eyes and Jack was at once fully aroused.
"Why dont you have sex with any of us?" Jack asked suddenly. Then another thought occured to him, "Your race does have sex doesnt it?"
As Jack spoke different fleeting micro-expressions crossed the Doctor's face. Jack had some empathic abilities and the contact with the Doctor gave him a bare glimpse of the conflict within the man Jack triggered.
The Doctor hid all those raging emotions with a playful smile and he focused on the less personal question, "Oh yeah of course we do."
Jack had hoped for the more personal answer. His hand dropped back to his lap and he regarded the Doctor skeptically. "Then why not mate with one of your companions...or have you?" Jack drawled out the last three words.
The look the Doctor gave him flashed a warning. Jack knew he was venturing into dark territory and if he pressed the Doctor too hard it might not go so well for Jack. But Jack had waited so, so long for the Doctor. There was nobody else in the universe that could hold Jack in such thrall as the Doctor did. Indeed he seemed to have that affect on just about everybody he ever came in contact with. That was the problem. Everybody wanted what Jack wanted and it was one thing that Jack seemed destined to taste but not actually get.
And the Doctor abused Jack's love and loyalty callously and without any regard for him. He'd left him, ignored him, abandoned him, and the worse thing yet he had called Jack "wrong." Yet, here he was with his heart on his sleeve like some adolesent.
Even if this conversation ended his brief moments as the Doctor's only companion Jack really felt he was owed an explanation. He hated to lose the romantic feel of the moment and he could already feel it slipping away, to also become a small part of a larger galaxy.
There was now steel in the Doctor's gaze. Jack's features had set into a serious frown, his arms had crossed over his chest and he'd leaned back against the door frame. Jack's eyes were narrowed.
"I....have," The Doctor finally admitted. "Ive loved every one of them. When Time Lords mate, we only do it with someone who is very important, someone we don't actually want to let go of. You humans...you burn so brilliantly but for such a short time. It makes losing you so much harder."
Jack had to consciously stop from gawking. The Doctor had just told him more about his feelings in one short paragraph than he'd shared with him over the centuries. Jack had to remind himself that even though he'd known the Doctor for many human lifetimes now, he'd probably spent an amount of actual time with him that could be measured in months.
"Doc," Jack said, leaning forward, flirtatiousness returning. He grasped at what the Doctor just said and at that flickering moment of need and desire that had crossed the empath's face when Jack had touched him. "Doc," he said, " Do you feel like that about me?" Jack's heart started pounding when he asked, and he started intently at the Doctor, eyes unwavering, looking for any reaction to the question.
The sad expression the Doctor turned on him then was heart wrenching. Jack scooted closer to him, pushing aside the dishes. The Doctor sipped the last of the wine and tossed the goblet out, watching it join it's lost sister. When he turned back to Jack, Jack's face was so close to his, his blue eyes searching him, emploring him to bare his sole- or something - anything.
"You're..." the Doctor started to say and when the words died on his lips Jack finished the sentence.
"Wrong."
There was a barely perceptable nod affirming that word, but then the Doctor continued, turning it to a lie, "It took me a long time to think of you as more than a distraction."
A distraction? From what?
Jack's face hardened a little. He could feel the Doctor's breath, his mouth was so close, another few inches to a kiss. And all these conflicting emotions writhed about inside Jack's chest. He wanted to hit and kiss the Doctor all at once. It was maddening. The Doctor was hurting him, even now. And Jack was hungry for the pain, struggling like he never did for just a little affection.
"And now?"
"And now you are my companion, for however long it lasts."
Jack's brow knit together. "Thats not a very satisfying answer."
"I know. It's all I got."
Jack sighed, and he reached out and draped his arm across the Doctor's shoulders. He pulled the man in closer to him and leaned his head against his. Miraculously, the Doctor allowed him this close. The Doctor let their minds touch. It was a light contact, a sort of mental hand-holding but it allowed Jack to feel some of what the Doctor was feeling. It was not very different from Jack's own emotions. Then something clicked in Jack's mind and he was really irritated.
The Doctor would have him as a companion except he didnt feel it was right because of how Jack had come by his immortality. He was not only the product of Rose's love, but he was a anamoly born of the Tardis itself. He was- forbidden. His very nature was offensive to Time Lords and suddenly Jack realized it was not unlike how his capacity to love people of all genders and even species was offensive to humans born before the 21st century. Jack was born in an age stripped by nesessity of such petty socialist discrimonation. He'd read about it in history texts but there was no understanding such a thing until you lived with it, as he had when he had waited for the Doctor on a not so well advanced Earth.
Paralells he had not really previously considered rose through his head and a flash of anger made him act. In his long years living in the less developed eras of the human race Jack had encountered all kinds of gender related labels. He was not going to be called "wrong" by the Doctor any more and he was not going to let that label be used as a wedge between them. He realized that the Doctor was giving him more of the same.
He shifted his grip on the Doctor and with both hands grabbed his biceps he made the Doctor look him full in the face. "I am not wrong," he said simply, forcefully. "You will not call me that any more!"
The Doctor slumped a little in his grip, looking if anything like he was simply resigned to Jack. It irked Jack even more and he gave the Doctor a shake. "I mean it! I am what I am and Im here and not even I can do anything about that so you might as well just accept me or try to find a way to kill me!" He was not quite hollering but his voice had risen, his face set and his lips were pressed together and with each word he had squeezed the Doctor's arms.
"I don't want to kill you Jack," the Doctor said flatly. "You're my friend and even I don't know why you want to be after what I've done to you."
Jack smiled then, "Well, Time Lord, then you've chosen to accept me and you better get on with it because Im getting impatient. Doctor, I love you! I've always loved you."
The Doctor's eyes, which had been avoiding Jack's, came to meet his and suddenly Jack's mouth was upon him. Jack couldn't force a declaration of love from the Doctor, but he could give one.
When their lips touched it was electric, the Doctor's body suddenly exploded with response. All the desires and needs he'd had, the very ones that caused him to keep so many people at a distance broke through in a flood. To the Time Lords, kissing like this was tantamount to full on sex. It was just as intimate and the humans who had kissed him rarely realized what it did to him.
Wrong wrong wrong echoed through Jack's head when the mental connections formed between them that were both exciting and a little frightening to Jack. In that moment he realized that kissing the Doctor had created a mental link that wasn't there before and he was exposed to the raw emotions that were always so hidden beneath the Doctor's exterior. "Wrong" was the Doctor's consious incantation against indulging in Jack, but just beyond that everything in the Doctor screamed for more.
Jack deepened the kiss, his tongue entering the Doctor's mouth. He could feel the Doctor's body reacting, his hands gripped the lapels of Jack's coat and pulled him in. Jack lost himself in the duel sensations of his physical and mental connections with the Doctor and he thought loudly and purposefully I am not wrong!
He felt a mental wince from the Doctor.
The kiss broke. The connection faded but didn't completely go away. He looked at the Doctor and suddenly this man who had been the pinnacle of all things crazy and crafty, daring and strong, now looked vulnerable and needy. His breath was faster, a mixture of shock and heady arousal on his face. His lips looked almost bruised and fell slightly open. Suddenly the Doctor looked like he actually needed and wanted Captain Jack.
Once the Doctor made the descision to mate with Jack, he was desperate to get it done. Getting to a bedroom was a laborious process because the Doctor couldn't go more than a few steps without kissing Jack. His mouth was so hungry, demanding Jack's attention. Jack realized the Doctor could probably climax from kissing alone. When Time Lord's made love, a lot of it had to do with touch telepathy. It was a level of intimacy Jack had never experienced before and he now understood so much about more about the Doctor. He understood that this was not a one night stand, or a daliance, but was a commitment. He was forming a bond with the Doctor that would last a life time and he reveled in it. Jack rejoiced, the Doctor was finally and trully his! He had gotten the girl in the end.
This was a beginning.
Giving up on getting the Doctor somewhere soft on his power, Jack suddenly scooped him up and carried him like a bride to his room. It was difficult kissing him and walking at the same time, and Jack kept losing his balance and falling against the walls of the hallway, but he couldnt deny that ravenous mouth. He was amazed at how eager the Doctor had become.
Easy, love, we'll get there!
Man he was heavy.
Jack kicked the door open and threw the Doctor onto the bed. He grinned, stripping off his clothes and throwing them to the floor. He stood naked, cock erect and weeping and allowed the Doctor's eyes to play over him. Jack stood on display, never shamefull of his body and he could feel the Doctor's eyes travel over him. Jack smiled, "You like what you see?"
"Yes," the Doctor murmured. He had far too many clothes son. He laid spread on the bed, propped on his elbows in his pinstripe suit and he was watching Jack with that intense gaze. Jack gripped his cock and stroked it, pleased when the Doctor's eyes dropped to it and his tongue peaked out and ran across his lips.
"If you dont take your clothes off," Jack said, "Ill rip them off you."
The Doctor's lips pursed in challenge and he said, "This is my favorite suit!"
"I always did question your fashion sense."
"Pwa!" the Doctor gawked. "You better get it off me then before I change my mind."
Jack pounced with cat like grace and was suddenly straddling the Doctor's hips. He pulled the shirt apart, sending buttons flying. Then, he pried the man's trousers off which proved more difficult than it should have been. The Doctor resisted, crying that Jack was ruining his clothes.
"You are such a tease," Jack murmured. He yanked them down, having a short war with the tennis shoes, which he won. He threw the clothes aside so now the only thing the Doctor was wearing was his jacket with the shirt ripped open. One dusky nipple was now visible on his thin chest. He looked marvelously disheveled and Jack decided it was cute enough to leave it on.
Jack was happy to see the man's cock was a human looking as the rest of him- a decent heft, uncut with the head cresting a foreskin. It laid against the Doctor's belly.
It had probably been hundreds of years since someone had taken the Doctor. Jack seized his legs, spread them and settled between them. He gripped the Doctor's cock, and stroked it to the same rythm he used to rock his hips into the man's body, rubbing his length up and down the underside. Then there was more of that fantasic kissing, and this time the Doctor threw his soul into the mental link. He'd discarded any reservations. There was no echo of wrongness.
I love you, I have always loved you, I have always wanted you...oh yes, more!
Jack couldnt tell what was his thoughts were any more but everything he felt about the Doctor- all the longing and the waiting and the wishes were echoed back to him. The Doctor could not lie or hide them like this. What he refused to tell Jack, Jack could now feel for himself.
Then, Jack felt a strange sensation like the time vortex within him was flowing through him. He realized that the Doctor was actually feeding off the time energy. What sustained Jack through so many deaths was what reincarnated the Time Lords. It was natural for them. It was so intimate. Jack mentally gave permission and the trickle became a torrent, allowing the Doctor to take exactly what he wanted.
Your perfect for me. The thought came from the Doctor's side into Jack's head and it was laced with excitement and sadness at the same time. Jack understood.
I won't die on you, or leave you Doctor. I can be yours forever.
The Doctor gripped him so tight then, their physicall bodies entwining almost as tightly as their minds and the vortexes within them seemed to come together. Im going to cum.
Jack realized the Doctor didn't actually need physical friction to climax. The sex for him was comprised of this exchange of thought and energy. Their bodies were only a vehicle to a higher union. Jack needed the friction. Oh no you don't!
Omg it increased. When Jack's cock breached the Doctor's body they both gasped. It would not take long for Jack to climax. He was as overcome as the Doctor. He rocked them upon the bed, the Doctor's long legs wrapping around his waist. As he thrust into the Doctor's physical body he could hear in his head Oh yes, more... hurts...you're my lover now...forver...I want forever..kiss me!
Jack kissed him and when he thrust his tongue into the Doctor's mouth the man exploded. Jack felt his climax in his mind, and his body. It made Jack cum too and he rode out his orgasm, filling the Time Lord's body.
I could be with you forever.
Yes! My human who can't die.
Will it always be like this?
No, but it can be like this often.
I love you.
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