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Mayberry Swingers' Club	By : HeadHunter Category: 1 through F > The Andy Griffith Show Views: 13410 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The following is a not-for-profit fictional erotic parody of the TV Show "The Andy Griffith Show" and the characters within, to which I make no claim of ownership.

Chapter List
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CODES: 3plus, AFFO, Anal, F/F, M/F, Oral, Rim
SYNOPSIS: Barney’s purchase of a swingers’ magazine leads to an after-hours sex-party among the lawmen and their girlfriends.
The Andy Griffith Show:
Mayberry Swingers Club
(By HeadHunter)
CHAPTER 1
(The Swingers’ Magazine)
            It was mid-afternoon in Mayberry and Sheriff Andy Taylor was sitting at his desk, going over some paperwork when his deputy, Barney Fife entered the office.
            “Well, hey, Barn!” Andy greeted Barney, “How was your trip to Raleigh?”
            “Great, just great, Anj!” Barney grinned, “Hey look what I picked up in a bookstore downtown.” He pulled a magazine from inside his uniform shirt. “Thelma Lou was off shopping, so she doesn’t know I bought this.”
            He handed the magazine to Andy.
            Andy read the cover, “Carolina Swinging Singles! Barney!” he grinned as he flipped thru the pages, “Thelma Lou doesn’t know you have this, huh?” he said in a muted voice.
            Barney smiled, “No. And she better not find out, Andy!” he said, adopting a serious tone, “I’m serious!”
            “Naw! Naw, I won’t tell ‘er!” Andy said as he glanced at the black and white pictures in the cheap newsprint magazine. Naked men, women and couples in suggestive poses decorated the pages, some clearly in positions of simulated sex. Interspersed among the pictures were brief personal ads from singles and couples seeking to meet other people for sex.
            Andy scanned thru the pages and handed the magazine back to Barney, “We’ll just keep this between us guys. I don’t think the womenfolk will appreciate it!”
            “You read some of these personal ads, Andy?” Barney asked, thumbing thru the magazine.
            “I looked at a few.”
            “Men lookin’ for women, women lookin’ for men.” Barney remarked as he scanned the ads, “Even some men lookin’ for men and women lookin’ for women!”
            “Yep!” Andy replied, “Takes all kinds I guess!”
            “Lots of couples lookin’ for other couples too.” Barney said.
            “Really?” Andy glanced up.
            “Here’s a good one…” Barney pointed out, reading from the page, “W.F. —that means ‘White female’,” he explained.
            “Is that right?” Andy smiled.
            Barney nodded smugly, “You gotta know the codes. ‘W.F. seeking 12-plus inch B.M. for sex’, you know what that means, Anj?” Barney asked with a grin.
            “Barbie’s leaving Ken for a Black man?” Andy smirked.
            “Ye… No!” Barney sneered, “This White girl is looking for a Black fella with a twelve inch cock! Can you imagine?”
            “Can’t be too easy to find.” Andy replied with a smile as he returned to his papers.
            “I dunno.” Barney muttered, “I’ve heard some rumors… First-hand account, really”
            Andy looked up with interest, “Really?” he smiled, raising an eyebrow in curiosity, “Right here in Mayberry?”
            “Yep!” Barney replied.
            “Who?” Andy asked with a grin.
            Barney leaned close and lowered his voice as if some unseen eavesdropper might hear, “You know Juanita from the diner?”
            “Girl you used to date?”
            “Yeah, Well she says she had sex with a couple Colored boys before!”
            “Naw!” Andy said with surprise, You’re pullin’ my leg!”
            “I’m serious!” Barney affirmed, “Both nine-inch dicks, she said!”
            “You don’t say!” said Andy, somewhat stunned at this new piece of gossip.
            “Don’t you tell nobody though!” Barney hastily remarked. “Thing like that could ruin the girl’s reputation. Especially in a small town like Mayberry! Some folks in this town ain’t quite as sophisticated as you and me. And you know how they love a scandal!”
            “Yeah…” Andy grinned, “Naw! I won’t say a word. Nine inches you say?”
            “That’s what she said!” Barney nodded “And believe me, Juanita has seen enough dicks to size one up!” He paused for a moment as he leafed thru the advertisements in the swingers’ magazine. “You ever thought about it, Andy?”
            “Having sex with a Colored boy?” Andy grinned sardonically.
            “Swinging, Andy!” Barney said, “You ever thought about you and Helen meeting up with another couple?”
            Andy smiled wryly, “It’s crossed my mind.” he said.
            “Yeah, yeah… me too.” Barney said with a nod, “You think Helen would ever go for it?”
            “Oh, I know she would.” Andy remarked, “She’s brought it up before.”
            Barney raised an eyebrow, “Really? So has Thelma Lou… we kinda dismissed it ‘cause, you know… she thought it might be kinda dangerous. Meeting up with strangers and all.”
            Andy looked up from his paperwork, “Y’know, Barn,” he mused, “They don’t have to be strangers.”
            Barney looked at Andy uncertainly, “What do you mean, Anj?”
            “I just mean you don’t have to swing with strangers.” he explained, “They could be some couple you already know, right?”
            “Yeah, I suppose.” Barney glanced at Andy curiously “Are you sayin’ what I think you’re sayin’, Andy?”
            “I’m sayin’ we should ask the girls if they’d like to get together for a little swinging party.” Andy smiled.
            “Well that’s okay by me!” Barney grinned, “But where will we do it? My landlady will kick me out if I throw a wild party, and you’ve got Opie and Aunt Bee at your place.”
            “What’s wrong with right here?” Andy asked, “We can tell folks we’re workin’ late at the office. Nobody has to know anything!”
            “Great idea, Andy!” Barney agreed, “If the girls are okay with it, we can come back here tonight!”
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Mayberry Swingers' Club