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But I always thought I'd see you again...	By : ihatethesnow Category: S through Z > The Walking Dead Views: 1939 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead or any of the characters. I will not be making any money from this.

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I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
But I always thought that I'd see you again.
Won't you look down upon me, Jesus,
You've got to help me make a stand.
You've just got to see me through another day.
My body's aching and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way.
James Taylor, Fire and Rain
When Rick Grimes heard the words "I'm pregnant" fall from the lips of his girlfriend Michonne his first reaction was one he couldn't be proud of; he had a panic attack before fainting and knocking his head against the kitchen counter on his way down, his unconscious ass was rushed to hospital in an ambulance which didn't make the experience any better for him. And well his follow-up reaction was perhaps even worse than his first one because the very second he was back in the world of the conscious and alive he asked his girlfriend, "Is it mine?" which turned out to be the wrong thing to ask your girlfriend of two years and especially if said girlfriend had a horrible and violent temper; Rick had been lucky that they were already in the hospital because the amount of stitches he needed after she hit him over the head with a bedpan well a drive to the hospital with a bleeding head-wound would've hardly been a blast, and while he got patched-up 'Chonne got a ride to the police station.
Rick knew, of course he did, he knew that the baby was his, but he'd panicked and continued to do so until they figured out what to do.
They weren't ready for a baby…they could barely take care of themselves or each other. They weren't ready for the financial or emotional strain becoming parents would've caused them; they could barely pay the rent on their crummy little apartment in the shifty part of town, how could they afford diapers when they couldn't even be sure they could afford paying the rent without starving to death and the previous winter they'd had to choose between having an apartment without heating or having an apartment without eating. The decision to not abort the baby and placing it up for adoption was made after Michonne realized she just couldn't go through with an abortion, and Rick was fine with her choice simply because he was a modern man who understood that only a woman should choose what she did with her body.
Of course as the months passed there were times when Rick would contemplate whether or not they could keep the baby, especially once the little squirt started to make itself known by kicking and moving about inside of Rea's growing belly, but every time he tried to figure out how to make his pay-check work for a small family and how to save more money the outcome was always as disappointing as Michonne's weak interest in the development of their baby.
But if having to deal with the fact that he wouldn't be allowed to see his kid, a kid that turned out to be a boy, grow-up wasn't an easy task and the fact that he and Michonne had to choose a couple to raise their son was even worse, especially when so many of them were absolute idiots.
The again finding a couple that weren't a complete set of douchebags wasn't any better because although he wanted to find his son the best parents possible, it also meant that finding them was just another step close to losing his son, but Jo and Hershel were perfect, regardless of how much Rick didn't want them to be perfect for his son; Jo was bright with a great sense of humor and she was painfully honest about how much she wanted their baby, Hershel was calmer and more cautious when it came to their chances in getting 'Chonne's and his baby but one thing was for sure and that was that unlike some of the couples they'd come across Hershel and Josaphine were deeply in love. The Greene's were also not at all against answering any of Rick's questions, and he had a lot of them. If anything Hershel seemed to appreciate his cautiousness.
No matter how uncomfortable the idea of giving away his son made him feel, no matter how much he struggled to sign away his son who was born into the world screaming with little arms flailing about, Rick knew it was for the best because he wanted the little pink-bundle to grow-up with a mother and a father who would love him deeply. Rick wished his son to live in a house that wasn't an igloo during the winter months.
Unlike Michonne, Rick Grimes held their son for the fifteen minutes he was given before Baby Greene was handed over to eagerly awaiting parents. Rick had wanted to give his son plenty of good advice, advice his son wouldn't remember but advice Rick still wanted to give, but when the time came he just couldn't say a clever word and so he simply held his son who was calm and content in his arms and wasn't that just a stab in the gut; Rick couldn't help but believe his son knew he was safe and being held by his daddy, a daddy who was destined to give him up.
"They'll love you loads, and they'll take care of you." Rick told his son as he kissed wrinkled forehead, "and they'll give you everything I can't." Rick hated how true it was, but fought against the bitterness that threatened to come out as he continued to speak, "Jo will hold you, and kiss your chubby little cheeks and little nose. And I'm sure she'll read to you a lot, and make those funny voices I can't do." Jo had once mentioned to him how she'd already bought hundreds of books she was going to read to his son, Rick was sure his son would grow-up clever with parents like Jo and Hershel, sure Rick had struggled in school and 'Chonne suffered from epilepsy and ADHD.
"And Hershel, well he's a bit boring, but he'll protect you and probably drive you around in his tractor." Rick hated thinking about this other guy doing all the things he couldn't do with his son like teaching him how to ride a bike and taking him fishing, although Rick had never done the whole fishing thing but he would've given it a go if he'd been given a chance.
"Jo and Hershel will give you something I can't give you, kiddo." Rick told his son as the door opened and in came the sour-face woman who'd helped arrange the adoption, and with one last kiss on the forehead and wishing all the best for his son Rick Grimes handed his son over to the woman, and as his son was taken away Rick hoped that one day he'd see the boy again and that when he did he'd learn that the hardest choice he'd made had been the best one.
It was Rick's second year as a cop officer in the Kings County Police Department. He knew for a fact that he'd made a name for himself amongst the dregs of society as well as law abiding folks. But frankly Rick didn't care what people thought of him after all none of them knew what he'd lost and how it gnawed at him every day.
Rick didn't care about what the everyday people thought of him when he thought so little of them, although at times he would arrest someone so the close to the age his son would be, and he wondered. Whenever he saw a new face, he wondered.
Michonne turned into a memory. Life went on, and he met Lori Wilson, a woman who grabbed his heart, and a woman his parents accepted. They got married, and had a young son. To avoid any headaches, Rick never mentioned The Greenes, Michonne or the baby to Lori. It just wasn't the best thing to dig up memories.
Rick Grimes didn't entirely regret putting his son up for adoption or rather that he'd agreed with Michonne to have their son handed away to strangers to raise, of course the rational part of Rick understood that he never could have given his son the stability and support he wanted him to have, and yet every day he wondered whether or not he could have done it.
Rick, however, also knew he wanted something better for his son than a life with him especially when Rick could barely keep a plant alive, he'd killed a cactus one day in college. He'd agreed to give-up his son so that he could have a better chance in life, it was a noble deed, of course, but at times it felt like the wrong one.
When he parked his car Rick Grimes told himself to get the boy out of his mind…at least until he was home with his homemade meat loaf and played with his toddler. After a family evening, and making love to his wife, Rick still wondered about the boy he held for such a short time.
Sipping his coffee while glancing down at the heap of paperwork he had to fill out during a particular difficult day, His suspicions were confirmed that each new generation lost another spoonful of functioning brain-cells. He nearly spat out his coffee when he saw the name Greene on the list of perps and his heart began to race and pound in his chest. J, the first name didn't give him a clue whether this Greene was even a boy or a girl. Then again it might have been just a horrible typo if so he would have to have a talk to Mrs. Niedermeyer because she had a bad habit of making such mistakes.
Of course he knew the chance that this J. Greene was his son or even related to the people who'd adopted his son was small, miniscule even, after all it wasn't like they were living in some tiny part of the world there had to be a lot of Greene's even in an Atlanta. And yet just seeing the name Greene caused his heart to race and his hands to shake, because what if this J. Greene was his Greene?
What would he do if this was his Greene? And the bigger question how would he learn whether or not this J. Greene was his son?
However, before he could sort out his thoughts or feelings the alarm went off in the police station, alerting those who were available that there was a high speed chase in progress.
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But I always thought I'd see you again...