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Gravity \| Book I: Amidst the Chaos	By : Prophecy Category: 1 through F > The 100 Views: 2330 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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I thought we were meant to be
Thought it'd be you and me
Standing together at the end of the world
I guess that's not what you want
I guess that I should just move on
You tell me how am I to move when I can't even breathe
This is not how you make love
This is not what we signed up for
This is not how it's meant to be
This how you start a war
- Simon Curtis, 'How to Start a War'

Clarke didn't have a choice.
She chewed her lip furiously and swore she could still taste Lexa on it, which just made what she was about to do worse. She tried to steel herself, but her head was thick with the memory of Lexa's body shuddering and falling apart under her. Was it really only a few hours ago that they lay in bed, naked and coated in a sheen of sweat, still laughing about the look on Ryder's face?

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Then the rockets went up. They tumbled over and into each other as they frantically tried to locate their clothing and armor to the sound of people yelling for them. The sky had lit up, signaling Bellamy's success in the mountain.
A palpable excitement ran through the camp, and she and Lexa had shared a look, their chests heaving in sync as it hit them. Lexa had smiled widely, practically shaking from anticipation as she said loud enough only for Clarke to hear, "Now we fight."
Clarke had never felt like this before; it was a feeling almost as intense as Lexa had sparked in her just hours ago, only the entire encampment was feeling it. The chorus of "Jus drein, jus daun!" was contagious and grew steadily louder as the army arranged themselves into formation and Clarke felt her heart rate spike even further as she and Lexa joined in.
Behind them, Octavia let out a howl as Indra's gonakru assembled quickly around the Commander and, by default, Clarke. Amid the cheers and howls, Indra lifted a sword into the air and yelled, "Gon wor!" and they started their march, the entire army behind and around them still thrusting their weapons and banging their shields in cadence with the war drums.
She and Lexa shared a nod and a fiery look, and Clarke found herself fantasizing about celebrating their victory later on in private. Feeling as juiced as she was, she wanted to grab Lexa and push her up against a tree right that second and fuck her senseless, armor and all.
"—lis after this is done."
Clarke's head snapped towards Lexa, who was studying her as they walked, one eyebrow lifted and a bemused look on her face as though she'd heard Clarke's thoughts. "Uh.." she said dumbly, trying to keep her eyes on Lexa's face instead of her heaving chest and having only minimal success.
"I said, you should come with me to Polis after all this," Lexa said patiently, her own eyes dropping to the bit of cleavage Clarke's shirt left exposed.
Clarke's eyes twinkled a little as she replied evenly, "It'd be my pleasure to come with you." Much to her surprise and amusement, Lexa's ears turned a little red.
Octavia, who was possibly more pumped up than anyone else present, hung herself over Clarke's shoulder momentarily, patting the front of her shoulder lightly. "Get a room, would you?"
"I have many rooms in Polis, Octavia. You are welcome to get one as well."
Octavia looked at the Commander unsurely for a moment before realizing she was entirely serious. "Oh, uh.. Thank you, heda. I'd be honored to travel to Polis." She paused, glancing over her shoulder at her mentor. "Er, if Indra will let me."
"She will be going to Polis as well. However, she already has a room."
Clarke subtly drove her elbow into Octavia's side when she heard her struggling to hold back a snicker. Thankfully, Indra shouted for her and Octavia started to drop back once more after making a relatively obscene gesture at Clarke; thankfully a relic from the previous generation on the Ark and, as far as she knew, nothing a grounder would clue into.
Clarke flushed as Lexa looked confused. "What was that? Code?"
Clarke cleared her throat and fiddled with a button on her shirt. "Uh, just something kids on the Ark do—uh, did—to annoy each other. Octavia is kind of like, the little sister I never asked for."
"Ah." Clarke smirked a little when she realized Lexa wasn't paying attention to anything besides her breasts at the moment.

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But then Emerson had approached with his hands in the air at the ridge line, where Clarke and Lincoln and a small support gonakru were trying to stop the shooters. Clarke was dripping with blood, almost none of it hers, and she felt like she was just watching her body do these awful things from somewhere else.
Walking into the security pod with him.
Seeing the guns held up to Bellamy's head; Jasper's, Raven's, Monty's.
Her mother strapped down and being drilled into.
Offered a deal.
One marrow donation from each member of Skaikru—with anesthetic—and they keep the Grounders until everyone in Mount Weather was cured.
She should have let Bellamy take out the generator, should have cared less about the monsters who'd been bleeding thousands of grounders over the years; keeping them locked in cages like lab rats. Sure, some of them had helped Skaikru, but all of them had taken the treatments, hadn't they? Sure, it wasn't the fault of the kids, but wars had casualties, and Lexa's people hadn't done anything to deserve it, either.
Lexa.
It felt like her soul was ripping in two, like part of her was dying, and Clarke couldn't help recoiling as she shook Cage's hand to cement the deal.
Watching her people being escorted out the door, broken and bleeding and surrounded by guns to prevent grounder retaliation. Lexa's eyes narrowing when she saw only Skaikru, her voice tense and coming from the back of her throat.

"What did you do, Clarke?"
"What you would have done. Saved my people."
Stunned horror. "They'll all be killed. But you don't care about that, do you?"
Guilt. "I do care, Lexa. But I made this choice with my head and not my heart."
"Don't do this, Clarke."
"I'm sorry, Lexa." Her voice cracked, tears streaking her cheeks. "May we meet again."
Emerald eyes were glaring daggers into Clarke's as Lexa snarled, feral and full of rage.
"You better hope we don't."

Clarke didn't have a choice, though.
Did she?
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Gravity | Book I: Amidst the Chaos