Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

Itch to scratch	By : LuluDreams Category: G through L > Gossip Girl Views: 29 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my crazy ideas, everything belongs to the amazing Cecily Von Ziegesar and the TV authors

Chapter List
- 1-I In vain have I struggled. It will not do.
- 1
Setting: Right after episode 2x18 ‘Age of Dissonance’ , but it takes a little something from the following episodes, too.
Pairing: Dair
Written for the ‘ofamostrano’ (let’s make it weird) challenge of @Non solo Sherlock - FB multifandom events group
Prompt: ‘It was all very sudden’ by Clau Albertini <3
This is my very first attempt to write not only a ‘Gossip Girl’ story, but a Dair one!
Oh c’mon, those little exercises of styles I already posted can’t be considered fanfics XD
About Dair, I still remember when I was between season 4-5 (not long ago, since I discovered GG last June ^^’ ) thinking ‘Why am I having the feeling that taking two elements from my greatest OTPs (Derena and Chair) and matching them together could create an even huger OTP?’
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my crazy ideas, everything belongs to the amazing Cecily Von Ziegesar and the TV authors
Important: The ‘... ‘ part is Gossip Girl’s voice over or posts, just like it happens in episodes.
English is not my native language, so, please, forgive any possible mistakes. I’ve tried to look for a beta, but nowadays it seems that everyone wants to be paid and I can’t afford that ^^’

I: In vain have I struggled. It will not do.

Life has plenty of unexpected things.
There are unexpected visits, maybe from a distant relative who came to see you. You're even glad to see them, but after the third day in a row you start to wonder, terrified, if it's only a visit rather than a permanent move.
There are unexpected winnings, such as Bingo or lottery, and here in Upper East Side you'll be spoiled for choice on how to spend the newly earned money.
There are unexpected gifts, maybe from that very special person and knowing that somehow they think of us warms our heart, even better than a hot chocolate at La Maison Du Chocolate Madison in midwinter.
There are unexpected meetings, news, verdicts...
But how can you deal with an unexpected feeling?

Dan Humphrey woke up with a start.
From a pleasant dream.
Or rather a pleasant nightmare.
Not that nightmares are supposed to be pleasant, but maybe they could when they took the begulling shape of Blair Waldorf.
His sworn enemy, nonetheless.
And as a proper sworn enemy, she had committed the ultimate evil.
She haunted Dan's nights.
She haunted Dan's days.
She haunted Dan's inspiration.
As proof of the third point, once his heartbeat went back to normal, Dan grabbed the scratchpad he kept on his nightstand, with a pen and started to write.
Just some notes of the umpteenth dream/nightmare or dreamare, as Dan had decided to name them.
They were about Blair and him, involved in every sexy scenario possible. A few were even set in different eras: the Renaissance, the Regency, the Bell'Époque, just to name a few.
This time they were in present time, just on that fake carriage, during the senior class play.
That fateful day.
It was the beginning of everything.
The only difference, this time there was no audience, no rest of the cast either, no director.
They were utterly alone.
Blair was still so pissed off at him, with no reason.
She beset him, with her feline spring, she accused him of all the troubles in her life, but this time he found the perfect way to shut her up.
He kissed her, roughly, ravenously.
Not only did she like that, but she kissed him back, the same way.
Even with more eagerness than him, if possible.
He flipped roles, so he could dominate her from above and...

"No, no, no, it can't be!" Dan groaned out loud, frustrated.
After all, the rolling shutter was still lowered, no one could hear him.
Dan ran a hand through his messy hair while the other flipped back through the scratchpad. There they were, lots of digressions, in the form of a poetry, about the hazelnut of her hair, the dark chocolate of her judging eyes, the raspberry of her lips.

- Well, fitting, for the sour things that she can say!- He chuckled, before grimacing. -However... hazelnut, dark chocolate , raspberry... this is not a girl... this is a triple scoop luxury ice cream!-
And he did want to eat her... but that was not the point.
Shaking his head, he decided to get up.
He tucked the scratchpad in his shoulder bag - in case inspiration would hit him again- and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day.
Another day of misery.
The fourth in the row after that damn class play.
At first he had wondered if he wasn't just feeling attracted by her role, the Countess Ellen Olenska - he had loved that character in the book, after all - , but when he had pictured in his mind Blair even playing the granny and he had found her sexy anyway he had his answer.

"Good morning, Dan, Jenny has already left, but you're just in time for my special waffles." Rufus greeted his son as soon as he saw him crossing the kitchen. "Look, heart shaped, with the strawberry jam all over it." He displayed the creations he was so proud of, giving his son one.
"And may I ask why my waffle heart is broken?" Dan inquired, with a doubtful look.
"I don't know, maybe it's just a coincidence, or maybe it resembles how you must feel these days..." Rufus ventured, staring at his son with what looked a lot like concern.

"Thanks, Dad, for the waffle psychology attempt, but I'm in a hurry and anyway I'm not hungry at all."

- Save for a particular combo of icecream... - He pondered, as he pushed the offered plate back on the edge of the counter.

"Listen, Dan, I know you're still upset about that teacher issue..." Rufus grumbled.
"Yeah, right, it's just that. You read me like an open book." Dan pretended to nod, reaching his peak of sarcasm. "But don't worry, I'll get over it. So why don't you stop worrying about my heart, whatever its condition is, and grab all the other full heart shaped waffle hearts and take them to Lily's place, for a very romantic breakfast?" He advised him, leaving the house.
"Oh, well, this is not a bad idea at all." Rufus grinned, as he was already filling a box.

Rachel Carr.
How could he have fooled himself so bad?
The only good thing was when he had thrown her to the lions.
Well, one lion.
A beautiful, yet feral, young lioness, hungry for revenge.
- And there I am, thinking about her again. How long did I resist? Ten minutes? I'm making sensible progresses!-

Dan reached St. Jude's right before the lessons started.
This gave him time enough to take glimpses of Blair, lurking behind the wall, as he used to do in those last days.
Just like a stalker.
Well, a good kind of stalker... if that kind had ever existed.
He observed the way the wind made her middle length navy pleated skirt swing, along with the matching blue thin tie around the collar of her white blouse, utterly buttoned up.
And her coloured, showy headband. The self-confidence she could wear them with.
Any other girl would have looked ridiculous; but not her.
Never her.
She was perfect.
Such elegance. Such finesse.
Not to mention her noble mien, like a vintage Hollywood actress.
No, even better. Just like a Queen.
The Queen of the school.
-There she is, chatting with her friends. Oh, wait. More like enslaving her minions, knowing her. - He chuckled for his own considerations.
But the chuckle died in his throat when he figured out that Blair had noticed him and was walking towards him.
Or rather lashing out at him with the force of a hurricane.
"Humphrey! Are you spying on me?" She snapped.
-Think faster than you ever did!- Dan urged himself.
"Huh? Of course not... I'm just hiding from a horde of crazy little girls who have been on my tail since the class play... you know, the main character's charm!"
"Eeew. I pity those poor little girls for their blatant lack of good taste!" She rolled her eyes, wrinkling her nose.
"Well... how are you?" Dan found himself asking her.
She stared at him as if a second head had popped out of his neck.
- Since when does he care about me? Oh, sure, it must be only conventional conversation. Well, fresh news for you, Humphrey, I'm not gonna be conventional at all!-
"What do you think? Save for the fact my whole life crumbled into pieces, everything is great, thank you!" She summoned her pungent sarcasm.
"I'm sorry, Blair, I didn't mean to..."
"What about you, instead? Oh, wait, I almost forgot: I don't give a damn!" She showed him the most fake smile ever.
Satisfied because she had the last word -as most of the times -, Blair was already walking away, as Dan looked almost amused.
- Here's my raspberry!-
As he watched her becoming a smaller and smaller point in the background, he couldn't help pondering.
- Has she always been so beautiful? Maybe Serena's light blinded me and I couldn't really see her!-
Serena Van Der Woodsen.
The greatest love of his life.
Back to the old days when he filled his scratchpad with poetry about sun, gold and peppermint.
Right before acknowledging that she was almost his sister, since they had found out they shared a brother.
That's what brought both to break their relationship, in the friendliest way possible.
"Hey, mate; how ya doing?" Nate Archibald popped from nowhere, behind his back.

"Huh! Everything is fine, thanks. What about you?"

"It's alright, I'm making things with Vanessa work, so.." He shrugged, with a smile. "I saw you here, all sulking, so I thought that maybe you were still mourning over what happened with that teacher and..."

"Geez, why do all you people think I didn't get over Rachel? I did the moment I figured out what kind of awful person she was, so stop worrying for me, I'm more than fine!" Dan snapped.
"Woah! That's a bit of a reaction!" Nate chuckled, nervously. "Dan, are you sure that everything is okay?"
Of course, everything was not okay and Dan needed to talk about it with someone.
Jenny? Not even a chance, she would spread the news to the whole New York.
When she tried hard, his sister could be even worse than Gossip Girl.
Vanessa? Maybe it was better to let her focus on her relationship with Nate.
So why... not Nate himself?
"Actually, yes, there's something that's gnawing at me; but lessons are about to start, so..."

"Don' worry, I got you." Nate patted his shoulder. "And right after the lessons I have my Lacrosse session, but we can talk after the workout, meet me there."
-------------------------------------------
Spotted: Lonely Boy in front of the Lacrosse field... maybe has he grown tired of lifting books as his only sport?

Dan was watching all the Lacrosse athletes leaving the building.
Was it only his impression or they were showcasing their sculpted bodies, making him feel even more scrawny than he actually was?
As he was searching for the answer, Nate arrived.
"Is it okay for you if we talk in the bar close to the sporting field?" Nate suggested.
"Sure." Dan nodded.
Perhaps some liquid courage was what he needed to open up.
Only after the third sip to his beer Dan found enough boldness to face the matter:

"Have you ever felt attracted to someone you usually hate?" He decided to ask.

Nate almost spat out the beer he was drinking.

"What?!"

"And with 'usually' I mean four days after the class play. You know, playing the main characters draws a lot of attention, so I have this little group of girls chasing me every now and then, and among them there's one I just can't stand." Dan rushed to point out.
- If such a brilliant smartass as Blair believed the charming actor bullshit ... why shouldn't you buy it? I mean, you're my best friend and everything, but... let's just say I've never considered your keenness among your virtues... Don't prove me wrong just this time! - He wished.
"Yeah, it happened." Nate confessed.
"Oh. Really?"

"It was one year ago, more or less, you know, between one of my back-and-forths with Blair. She was a die-hard fan of the main Lacrosse rival team; so of course I couldn't stand her and her favorite hobby was insulting me in every possible way..." Nate recalled, sort of amused.
"And?" Dan urged him to go on, eager to know.

He could easily find some tiny similarities in that situation.
"And like I said, I really couldn't stand her, yet I couldn't get her off my mind, because she was beautiful. And so it happened."

"What... happened?"
"We had sex. It looked like I wasn't the only one having these conflicting feelings." Nate revealed. "We just had an itch to scratch. And once we did, not only wasn't I obsessed anymore, but she disappeared from my sight."
"Wow." Was all Dan managed to say.

It was already a miracle he hadn't fallen from his chair.
"So, here's my advice. As long as you don't scratch that itch you won't be able to move on; because before resuming thinking with the brain you have in your brilliant head, Dan, you must satisfy the... brain in your pants!"
Dan had some trouble recording that advice in his brain.
The one in the head, at least; the one in his pants was cheering in full approval.
"So... are... Are you saying that if I manage to have sex with her, it's done? I'll be over with this sort of obsession?"
"Yep. And in my case it was harder, you know, both hating each other, so I had to talk her into it a little bit. Instead, you said she's already your fan, due to the actor's charm, so..."

"Yeah, she's practically dying for that to happen!"

- There's only one person who'll end up dead and it's gonna be me! - He gulped down, helping himself with some other sips of beer.
"Then go, my friend, face your itch to scratch and come back victorious!" Nate cheered and Dan forced himself to smile and nod.

- How the hell am I supposed to tell her? How?-
------------------------------------
The morning after, Dan mustered his courage, waited for Blair to show up at the common campus of St Jude's and Constance and headed straight to her, taking advantage of the fact she was alone.
"I was just looking for you." He said, looking directly into her eyes.

She was startled, puzzled.
"Huh? Has something happened to Serena?" She wondered, already worried.
It had been a couple of days since she had heard from her best friend.
"What? Nope. Serena told me she had to go. Didn't exactly understand where. Don't actually care." Dan shrugged, looking almost bothered.
Blair was beyond being puzzled.
- Since when has he been so sloppy about Serena? I'd dare to say disinterested. And why does this make me... happy?! Of course, I'm happy for Serena, not having anything to do anymore with this... loser. Right. -
"Are you still on this planet?" Dan smirked. "I told you there's nothing to worry about Serena. It's something about you."
"Now I'm really worried, Humphrey!" she snapped.
"Please don't. It's nothing bad... at least I think so. But you could think otherwise, so..." He scratched his head, nervously.

He was losing his grip.
"Can you be any more enigmatic? You're giving me a headache and I have many lessons to face today!" She whined, bringing her hands to her temples.
Such a Drama Queen.
"Oh. Oh! So do you think it is better if we talk this evening, after class?"
- Which also would mean more time for me to remain alive! - He pondered, beyond nervous.

"Since I don't even know what damn thing we have to talk about, nope. Spit it out, Humphrey. And, please, be quick!" She crossed her arms against her chest, the point of her black ballerina shoe tapping on the concrete.
"Uh, okay, although it won't be easy at all. You know... since that class play, something happened to me."

"Yeah, I know, you broke up with the pretty awful teacher who turned my life into a living hell. So what ? Are you some other teacher's toy boy or are you still playing the former boyfriend who pretends he's glad his former girlfriend moved on but keeps sabotaging her new relationships in every possible way?"
The only way to survive Blair Waldorf's attack was to attack her as well.
And Dan Humphrey had become rather good at that.
"Says the girl who spends half her time chanting, 'I want Nate!' and the other half sighing, 'No, wait, I want Chuck!'" he countered. "Then it's 'Nate's the right guy for me, no doubt about that!'—followed five minutes later by 'I can't live without Chuck!'"
He nailed the imitation—pitch-perfect, dramatic, and annoyingly accurate.
If Blair could have incinerated someone just with her glare, Dan would have turned into a pile of ashes.
"However, Waldorf, I'd prefer if you just kept silent and just let me talk." He took matters into his hands, with a more assertive attitude.
Something Blair wasn't accustomed to.
She confined herself only to nodding, but the fire in her eyes didn't seem to cool down.
"When we were on that fake carriage, how you were pissed off at me, the way you threw yourself at me... it did something to me. It was all very sudden and I can't do anything about it. I can't get that image off my mind, I can't get you off my mind since then. There's no horde of crazy fangirls I'm hiding from, I'm just trying to hide from the weird way I feel about you." Dan rambled, reminding himself that he just needed to take a breath, sometimes. "In vain have I struggled. It will not do..."

"Wait! Isn't this from 'Pride and Prejudice?'" Blair inquired.
"Huh! Maybe well.. I know one thing or two about Pride, you're Miss Prejudice, so I guess it fits!" He chuckled, relieving the tension, and that made her smile as well.
But then Blair narrowed her eyes at him.
"Wait, but this is from chapter 34!"

"You can't identify the precise chapter of a quote. I do!" He retorted.
"Don't start a challenge you're going to miserably lose." Blair smirked.

- Can't we just make this challenge in bed, together? Why does it look like the most erotic thing ever? - Dan got lost in his lustful thoughts, before clearing his mind.
"What I was saying it's that chapter 34 of 'Pride and Prejudice' is Darcy's declaration of love... Humphrey, you're not about to declare... are you?" Blair asked, her eyes open wide in shock.
Probably terror, too.
Dan just burst out laughing.
"A declaration from me? Please, don't be silly!" He tried to calm down. "It's not that I'm asking you to spend the rest of your life with me, I wouldn't even want that!" He decided it was necessary to point that out. "I'm just asking you to help me get over this insane obsession I'm having over you, it's not good for either of us!"
"I couldn't agree more." She stated, unfazed. "So, okay, you want me to help you with that, I'm in."
"Are you? Really?" Dan stared at her, dumbfounded.
"Yeah, sure, I would do anything for you to stop having feelings for me that are not contempt; good, old, comforting and familiar contempt." She showed him one of her cheeky grins. "So, how can we do that? Do I have to hit your head hard with a brick or something? Do you want me to pay you a hypnosis session? Do I have to..."
Dan just had to stop her talking, it was a 'now or never' situation.
"Sleep with me, Waldorf. You know, the non-sleep kind"

--
TBC

If you want to find out about Blair's reaction, don't miss next chapter that will focus more on her (or at least I'll try)
I'm extra nervous -but also thrilled -, hope it's not a disaster, I'd really appreciate it if you could take a little time to let me know what you think, but thanks anyway.
- 1
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Itch to scratch