Turn Around

BY : AEMorgan
Category: S through Z > Sentinel
Dragon prints: 1455
Disclaimer: I do not own The Sentinel, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Title: Turn Around
Author: Adelaide Elizabeth Morgan (falconkenobi@aol.com)
Author web page: Every Generation Has A Legend (http://members.dencity.com/firststep/)
Fandom: Sentinel
Categories:Jim/Carolyn, Episode related Switchman, PWP
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: het-fic ahead people...
Thanks to: You, for reading this. Rushlight, as ever, for the beta. Cynara, for the helping hand. Franzi and Sheltie, for running and screaming in horror every time I mentioned this fic (which actually made me more determined to finish it!)
Summary: Just because a relationship is finished, doesn't mean its over.

"Just take care of yourself, OK?" Carolyn slid her hand down Jim's arm, a brief touch to his hand, before turning and walking away, leaving him standing there. Still panting slightly, and a bit embarrassed, he watched her leave, face somber as he sat back down at the table, the rumbling of the storm echoing in his ears.

The rain fell steadily, and he watched as Carolyn walked away, her umbrella sheltering her from the elements. He felt a stirring of guilt in his stomach; she had invited him out for a meal and he had overreacted over seasoning in his dish. He stood, and strode out of the restaurant, ignoring the chef who was calling after him.

"Carolyn, wait!" He ran after her, calling her, but she didn't stop. Catching up with her, he took hold of her elbow, stopping her as he ducked under the umbrella. She turned to look at him, as his hands came up to rest on her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

Carolyn cocked her head to one side as he spoke, not needing to say anything, her facial expression saying it all. She didn't believe his apology for one moment, and hadn't forgiven him for the scene in the restaurant.
Jim sighed and she looked at him curiously. Their eyes met and a spark of their old attraction flashed between them. Not really sure what he was doing, Jim leaned in and kissed his ex-wife on the lips. He pulled back slightly, searching her eyes. Her feelings were as hidden from him as ever, but by some unspoken agreement, they kissed again. Not a questioning kiss like before, but a heavy passionate kiss. More passionately than he could ever remember kissing her before. Pulling her even closer, he held her against him with a hand against the back of her head. She melted into his embrace, the umbrella falling forgotten to the floor as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, leaning back against the wet wall for support.

His hands moved to her face, needing the feel of skin on skin, his fingers caressing her cheeks as the kiss broke. Resting his forehead against hers, he apologized to her again.

"Shut up Jim," she admonished him in a breathy voice, that sounded more like a sigh than anything. "You're only allowed one apology a night."
His stomach rolling with anticipation and hope, Jim reached to the side and retrieved the umbrella, shielding them from the rain. Carolyn's hand brushed over his and she gently pulled the handle from Jim as she pulled away.

"Maybe if you'd kissed me like that before, we'd still be married." Her softly spoken words cut through him like a knife, wounding him deeply. He had no reply, just stood, looking after her as she walked away, the rain dripping down the back of his shirt.

He could hear her footsteps above the roar of the rain that suddenly sounded so loud; every footstep echoing around in his head. He even thought he could feel the vibrations shudder through his frame, shaking him to the core.

He didn't understand what had just happened, but then again he had always had difficulty understanding her, even when they were married. He loved her, and that was all that mattered to him. He'd messed up in the restaurant, he knew that much, although he wasn't sure why. He'd apologized to her, and he thought she'd accepted. And then he saw his feelings reflected in her eyes, and it felt so good to be kissing her again, to have her in his arms. With a deep sigh, he lifted his head up, staring into the night sky. Why did she walk away and what could he do to convince her that he really was sorry for what had happened?

Her footsteps stopped as she reached her car, and he heard the jangling of her keys as she fished them out of her pocket. He knew he had to act quickly or risk losing her again, this time possibly even for good. Taking a deep breath and swallowing his pride, he raced through the rain, hoping to catch her before she left.

He got there just as she was about to climb into the drivers seat, and slammed her door shut in front of her, stopping her from getting in and driving off. With an irritated sigh, she turned to face him, arms crossed over her chest. She said nothing, just glared at him.

"I meant what I said. I am sorry. Not about the kiss, not just about what happened in the restaurant. I'm trying to apology for everything that went wrong in our marriage and I... I want to make it up to you somehow.

"Jim...." Carolyn's voice echoed the annoyed expression on her face.

"I'm serious, Caro. Come back to the loft with me?"

"I shouldn't..."

"Just this once," Jim interrupted before she could finish rejecting him. "Remember the good times we had? I want to show you that..." He fought to keep his voice from breaking, wary of the lump that had suddenly grown in his throat. "I want to show you that I still care."

Frowning at the hitch in his voice, Carolyn relaxed slightly and actually looked at her ex-husband. Looked at the man, not the detective, and noticed his... fear? He was afraid she would reject him... again. Carolyn knew that Jim had a problem with loss, that he'd been hurt many times in the past and was afraid of being left behind, of being rejected, of being not needed. She also knew that she had hurt him, that they'd hurt each other in their marriage, and therefore how difficult it was for him to ask.
Nodding slowly, she accepted his offer, feeling a familiar fiery bolt of arousal shoot through her as a brilliant smile lit up Jim's face in relief. Carolyn felt her own smile answer Jim's infectious grin as he looped her arm through his and walked her to his truck.

~~~~~

Waiting for Jim to unlock the door, Carolyn felt like a schoolgirl again, nerves butterflying in her stomach. Opening the door, he pulled her through and slammed the door shut, before pushing her up against it, and holding her there with his weight. Pressing his body against hers, Jim covered her, feeling her beneath him, her every breath ghosting across his face, her heartbeat thudding at his chest. Carolyn moaned softly and arched against him, their lips meeting for another passionate kiss as they ground against each other, Jim's erection rubbing low against her belly. How long they stayed that way, rutting at the door like horny teenagers, they didn't know. The kiss only broke when they needed air, and they hung against each other, panting for breath through kiss swollen lips.

Leaning back against the door, they both jumped slightly when it creaked fairly loudly.

"You always hated the noises this door made." Jim couldn't help the upward pull of his lips into a smile as he said it.

"I still do." Carolyn replied, regretting the words almost as soon as she said them. Jim's face fell, and he moved back slightly. His body language tensed up slightly as he wandered over to the kitchen, and bent down to look in the fridge. Carolyn felt her pulse quicken at the sight of Jim's muscles tensed in his suit.

Although she hadn't been back to the loft in about two years, force of habit took over and she found herself hanging her jacket up and making her way over to the couch. Jim turned to face her, a beer in his hand.

"You want a drink? Tea, coffee...."
Carolyn shook her head. "You didn't invite me back here for a drink, Jim," she reminded him.

"No. No, I didn't." He sat down next to her, amazed how they had smoothly fallen into old patterns. He shifted slightly to look at her.

"Then why did you invite me over?" She asked the question that both of them knew the answer to, and neither really wanted to hear said out loud.

"I... I don't know." Jim admitted. Carolyn didn't reply, just looked at him. "I just... " He took a deep breath, bracing himself. "I miss you, Carolyn."

Jim heard her heart speed up at that, and found himself scenting her arousal. She blinked rapidly a few times, and very obviously didn't know what to say. Jim knew better than to push her, so just let her be. She quickly pulled a front of composure over herself.

"Why now, Jimmy? What's brought on this... this urge to reconcile our relationship. You accept an invitation to a meal, which you haven't done in over a year, and now this.... I don't understand it." So that was her real problem, Jim realized. She hated not being able to understand something. Carolyn frowned. "Is this related to the Switchman case?" Jim shook his head; it wasn't. Not entirely. He could see her trying to work things out, get them straight in her mind. "Simon said he thought the Switchman had psyched you out. You're not grasping for reassurance or stability, are you? If you're using me to get yourself back on the straight and narrow..."

"No." Jim automatically denied the accusation, despite knowing that part of it was true. He was looking for something to ground him, but that wasn't the whole reason. He still loved his ex-wife, and would never use her for selfish purposes. He'd hurt her in the past, he admitted that, but never psychologically. A feeling of cold hard dread rose in his stomach and he could taste bile in his mouth as he continued. "I'd never do that to you, you know that."

Carolyn smiled slightly. "I know," she admitted. "And I never should have said that. I'm sorry. I just... I don't understand and I want to."

"Remember how good things could be between us? When we used to make love it was amazing, we had such connection. Don't you ever wish you could feel like that again? Even if only for one night?"

Almost as soon as he had finished speaking, Carolyn leaned over and kissed him. She crawled onto his lap without breaking the kiss. "I remember, Jimmy," she whispered. "Make me feel that good again." Her hand slid down to cup Jim's growing erection through his trousers. He thrust up into her palm, groaning loudly. Carolyn whimpered in response when Jim pinched one of her nipples through the fabric of her blouse. At the scent of her arousal his erection grew to aching hardness. His eyes slid closed as his hands gripped her, giving him leverage for his thrusts against her, feeling her wetness grow as he did.

Her fingers curled around his cock and pumped it slowly, before unzipping his trousers, her hand slipping inside his boxers. Jim bucked into her touch with a strangled cry, wordlessly pleading for more. Her hand felt so good on his aching flesh, and he wanted, no, needed more. With a growl, he pushed her backwards, his hands bunching into the fabric of her blouse, tearing it in half as easy as if it were wet tissue paper.

He straddled her hips, holding her down as his hands kneaded her breasts, his mouth tasting, licking, sucking, biting the skin of her neck. Moaning his name, Carolyn arched up against Jim, her legs wrapping around his waist, holding him close.

"Oh, God... Jim... I... Oh... Uh...." Panting she broke off as she lost coherency, a familiar throb growing in her innermost being. "Upstairs," she managed to gasp out before their mouths met for another hot, wet kiss.
They left behind them a trail of clothes as they ran up the stairs, stripping as they did, blouses and shirts left forgotten on the steps.

Reaching the bed before Carolyn, Jim grabbed her hand and pulled her over. They tumbled backwards, his ex-wife landing on top of Jim, who wasted no time pulling her bra off, his hands kneading in her breasts. Carolyn's eyes slid closed, and she blindly searched for another kiss, her hands tugging down his boxers, discarding them to the floor without another thought. Their lips met for another kiss as her hand found his now-fully erect cock. Her hand curled around it and she slowly pumped him, shifting her weight on his hips so he couldn't thrust into her grip. Rolling his balls in her free hand she brought him to the very edge of his endurance. His skin was so sensitive, her touch was fire, he was aching with need. He just had to move.

He surged up with a roar, and flipped them over, so that he was lying on of Carolyn. His mouth went straight to her breast, sucking on her nipples almost hard enough that the pleasure turned to pain, while his hands rubbed circles on the insides of her thighs. She arched her back, pushing her bosom further against him. Her hands cupped his head, holding him closer. As his hands moved between her legs, her moans of pleasure turned to desperate mewling cries. He pulled back slightly, nipping instead of sucking on her nipples.

He slammed two fingers into her, pistoning them in and out rapidly, his thumb playing with her sensitive nub. Reaching up with his other hand, Jim toyed with her free breast, stroking the skin and pinching the nipple. Arching up into his touch, Carolyn's head flopped down on the pillow, her eyes sliding closed, every exhalation a moan. Her hands left his head, fisting tightly in the blue sheets covering the bed.

Her muscles clenched tightly around his finger, signaling the build to her climax. He pulled his fingers out, her hips thrusting to find the stimuli again. Groaning, she opened her eyes. A wicked grin spreading over his face, Jim caught Carolyn's eyes with his own, not letting her break eye contact as he brought his fingers up to his mouth, sucking her juices off them. Her eyes widening Carolyn's hips pushed up as she unconsciously licked her own lips.
"Jim, please..." She begged, releasing the sheets, her arms reaching for him. He pulled himself over her body, meeting her lips in another deep hungry kiss, his aching erection rubbing against her hipbone. "Make love to me..."

He kissed his way down her body, as he moved into the best position to slide into her. Carolyn locked her legs around him, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. The muscles there tensed as he gave himself leverage for his thrusts. Setting an almost punishing pace, they rocked against each other in a dance as ageless as time itself, the world ceasing to exist outside of that moment. Pleasure built up into a crescendo between them before they both exploded into climax, crying out each other's name.
Still twined together, Jim and Carolyn collapsed in a sweaty pile of limbs. Happy and sated they lay there, drifting in that comfortable place, before being claimed by an exhausted sleep.

The first thing to penetrate Carolyn's consciousness as she woke was the sound of the rain. The second was that she was not alone in her bed. Opening her eyes, she frowned as she looked around, instantly recognizing her old bed, but not knowing what she was doing there. The arm around her waist tightened, and she looked over her shoulder, eyes widening as she realized she was in bed with her ex-husband. A smile played over her face as she recalled the previous nights events. A smile that was soon chased away by a barely audible sigh.

Gently, trying not to wake him, Carolyn moved Jim's arm from around her and slipped out of the bed. As quietly as she could she made her way down the stairs, getting dressed as she found her clothes. She sighed as she found her blouse, ripped and thrown recklessly on the floor. Remembering that they used to keep spare things under the stairs, she tiptoed into the room there, hoping some of Jim's old t-shirts that he kept for the gym were still there. They were, and she pulled one over her head, smoothing as many of the wrinkles out as she could. The morning light coming in through the windows was just strong enough for her to find her way around without walking into anything.

Slipping into her coat, she opened the front door, but stopped, gazing wistfully up to where Jim was still in bed.

Not knowing that Jim could hear her, she whispered as she pulled the door shut behind her, "Maybe if you'd made love to me like that before, we'd still be married."
*end*


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