Hercules Accidental Obsession

BY : AmberDDawn
Category: G through L > Hercules
Dragon prints: 664
Disclaimer: I don't own "Xena: Warrior princess", or "Hercules: The Legendary Journey" They were produced by Renissance Pictures I am not making money for this fiction.

I don’t know why I wrote this but it’s a bit of a break from the other stories.  Thinking of crackish Hercules Joxer Ares love triangle.  Both powerful men want the innocent loveable goofball as theirs.


Hercules Accidental Obsession
Chapter 1: Herc's Loss is Ares' Gain...


Joxer had been traveling on his own for a few weeks.  Xena and Gabby had been getting a bit impatent with him, to the point even he noticed.  So he made his excuses; saying that he knew they would have a hard time getting on without him, but he knew they were resourcful and could manage.  They sort of looked at him funny and he tipped his helmet at them waving good-bye.

The week was hard and lonely for the man.  He couldn't catch a break.  He tried to trap a rabbit, and his snare smacked him in the face.  He built a nice roaring fire and the heavens opened up and poured on him.  He couldn't find decent shelter so he attempted to set up a lean-to that the wind quickly destoryed.  He was chilled, muddy, tired and hungry when he finally caught a break.  A nice little stream brimming with fish.  He actually managed to catch quite a few.  He made himself a stringer out of a lush green tree branch and trotted off down the road.

It wasn't normal to see Hercules without his long time companion Iolaus.  When Joxer spotted him, his heavy catch swinging merrily from his arm he Stopped and waved cheerily.   He jogged up to Hercules smiling and excited.  At this point company was very welcome to the mighty one.  The hero grimaced, but Joxer was oblivious.  Hercules wasn’t going to openly discourage the wanna-be.  He was too nice to hurt the young man’s feelings, and besides it was a bit lonely on the road while Iolaus was home visiting.

"How you been Hercules?" Joxer asked in his brightest chipper voice, "Where's Iolaus?  Off hunting?"

"I'm good, and Iolaus is visiting some family," Hercules responded in a bit more muted tones, "I see you've been busy today.  Fishing's good around here..."

Joxer nodded and held up his catch, "I did catch an awful lot, I guess I'm used to fishing for Xena and Gabby too.  Say would you like to have dinner with me?  I mean all this fish would go to waste.  I'm terrible at salting it.  It always seems to go rotten on me."  He frowned and looked at his fish.

Herc didn't want to be rude and he didn't suppose it would hurt to share Joxer's catch if he was offering.  Besides a little of his chatter could be entertaining, when one wasn't say trapped in a room with the smaller man.

So they ended up traveling together for a while.  Joxer wasn’t all that bad really.  Hercules noticed he could fish ok and he had to admit that Joxer’s cooking was better than his; although that didn’t take much skill.  Once he learned to tune out Joxer's constant chatter the noise was kind of comforting.  So the mismatched duo stayed together for a few days.

Then the cries for help came, Hercules had to answer.  Joxer followed and tried his best to assist the demi-god.  His best still being pitiful.  His heart was in the right place and he braved the dangers of battle.

An army had attacked a defenseless village.  Hercules fought valiantly through the warriors and had the Warlord hanging from his shirt, his toes dangling in the dust of the road.  Joxer was relegated to rounding up and herding as many civilians away form the battle as he could.

Suddenly Ares showed up complaining that his little brother didn’t know when to let tings lie.   The battled sort of stalled when the God of War and the famous son of Zeus started yelling taunts at each other.  Hercules was still holding the man by his shirt occasionally shaking him to puncuate an angry sentence.  Joxer watched in awe as his friend and his god argued loudly.  He went running toward them when he noticed a small child cowering under the front eave of a house.  She was huddled crying behind the Hero.  Somehow Hercules neither heard nor noticed her.

Hercules discarded the warlord he was holding with an effortless toss.  He squared off against the war god.  Joxer tripped his way through the fray somehow weaving through the fighting without being noticed.  The half-brothers traded blows and the soldiers quickly cleared out of the way as Ares threw fire balls.  Herc accidentally fell into the house behind him.  The main support beam snapped.  He didn’t see anybody inside so he took a large chunk of the wall and heaved it at the god.  Ares easily knocked it away.

Joxer heard a scream.  The little girl had been caught in the rubble.  Joxer could see an arm hanging out  and he prayed the child was not killed.  To make things worse the wall she was trapped under was also burning from the fire Ares carelessly tossed around like a toy.  If the girl wasn't already dead she would be if he didn't act fast.  Joxer dashed right into the midst of the fray.  By some miracle he didn't trip.  It was as if, for once, Lady Fortuna was smiling at him.  That, or maybe he supposed it was the girl she was watching out for.

He somehow managed to duck a large hewn stone from the house’s foundation that Hercules was aiming at the war god’s head.  He ran past Hercules.

“Joxer get back!” Hercules screamed as he blocked a fireball that nearly caught the man in his back.

“There’s a kid trapped under the wall!” Joxer explained hurriedly as he dove toward wall  the child lay on the ground in the sweltering heat.  She was trembling and screaming.  The goddess of luck must have been watching out for the child because a beam had landed between her legs and missed her body.  She was still stuck, the massive timber had trapped her dress to the ground.  Flames licked at the wooden beam that had her pinned.  The heat was intolerable.  Joxer pulled out his knife and the child screamed in fear.  She had seen men and women slaughtered before the heros had shown up and as far as she knew this man was not there to help her.  She struggled as he started to reach between her little legs.

“Shh, I’m not going to hurt you...we need to get you out...Okay?” Joxer panted as he tried to calm the child, "I need...to c-cut your...dress.  Ho-hold...still."  The girl nodded as fat teardrops rolled down her plump red cheeks.  Joxer quickly cut through the fabric and yanked.  The dress came free and he scooped her up just as the beam started to creek.  He threw the girl out from under the wall just as it collapsed.

Hercules watched as Joxer crawled under the burning wall.  He was astonished that his clumsy friend could be so brave.  Next thing he knew child with a sooty torn dress was thrust out.  He scooped the child up and turned.  He didn't see the wall collapse or feel the intense heat as the flames shot up.  He just ran the way he had seen Joxer directing the villagers.  He ignored his brother who was simply watching in amusement.

The burning wall came down on Joxer’s legs knocking him onto his back.  He smacked his head hard and his legs were crushed.  Joxer's world exploded in pain and all he could manage was a short scream as his lungs filled with boiling air.  His fading thoughts that he was going to die this day, 'Lord Ares, if you could please help me, or please kill me...It hurts...'


Hercules carried the child away from the battle, not once thinking of his friend.  He didn’t realize Joxer was trapped or that he was suffering.  Joxer always seemed to be the most lucky unlucky person on earth.  He always made it out alive.  Maybe bruised, beaten and bleeding; but alive.

Hercules found some stragglers fleeing, they were older and slower.  He stopped them and asked, “Is there anyone left in the village?”  He was holding the child to his chest the girl was bawling and squirming against him.  She was dirty, soot covered, and burned; but it was nothing that would permenantly damage her.

An elderly farmer looked up at him fearfully, “No! Please leave us alone!”

“I’m here to help, please take care of this child,” Hercules begged, “I need to get back to the battle.”

“Issa!  ISSA! We thought we’d lost you little one!  Thank the gods you're alive!” The man reached for her and she threw herself at the man sobbing.  The man looked up at Hercules, “Thank you.  Her mother was killed we thought she had been killed as well. Thank you for saving my granddaughter.”


Ares Stood watching as the men went to looting and capturing anyone who hadn’t been killed or fled.  He heard screaming coming from under the crushed burning house.  More houses were being torched, but he frowned.  That useless follower of his hadn't made it out of the fire.  He could hear prayers for rescue or swift death.  Joxer would get neither if he was left there.  The beam had only crushed his legs, but the fire would slowly cook him to death.

Ares sighed and walked over to the flaming house.  He willed the fire away and the wall.  He leaned down toward the man.  Joxer was in bad shape.  If something weren’t done his burns would become infected, if he survived that long.  He was never going to walk again with those mangled legs.  Tartarus he could barely walk straight before.  The man’s face was blistered and charred.  His hair was burned off.  Places on his chest and arms were charred down to the muscle.  He didn’t know quite why but he felt a sharp stab in his chest.  Joxer cried out in agony as Ares picked him up.  This was one of his and he wouldn’t let him suffer.  That silly helmet lay burning beside where Joxer had been.  Ares gave it a swift kick and it flew over the runined house and into the thatched roof of a neighboring building.  It looked like a hog barn.  That quickly began to burn due to the flamable nature of the building materials.

Too weak to fight or scream, Joxer moaned.  Ares was about to bring his knife to the would-be-warrior’s throat and slit it, but he stopped.  Pressing his hand to the man’s chest he felt the racing heartbeat, “You are a fighter.  You might suck as a warrior but you excel at surviving.”

He pumped his energy into Joxer’s body.  Slowly the shattered bones in his legs straightened and healed, skin covered over the exposed muscle and fat tissue, and the burned hair regrew.  Joxer’s face was repaired.  He was still fragile.  Ares took care of what he could but Joxer would need bed rest for at least a week.  His eyes remained closed, he had passed out from the pain and Ares wouldn’t expect the strongest warrior to wake after receiving so much energy from him.

Ares felt a little dizzy after.  He wasn’t in the habit of exercising his powers to such veins.  Healing was Apollo’s gig.  He was accustomed to making people bleed.

Ares looked down at the man.  His eyes fluttered open.  Joxer was barely awake.  His vision was blurred, he had no idea he was being held by the god he had been dedicated to as a babe and whom he still prayed to…even if Xena, Gabby, Hercules and Iolaus didn’t know it.

“Well hello,” Ares said in his deep voice and Joxer smiled at him.  Ares looked into those unfocused eyes and he saw something he liked.  He smirked down at the mortal.

“Um, Thank you,” Joxer blushed.  His freshly repaired skin glowed as they were surrounded by burning destruction.  This mortal wasn’t too hard on the eyes actually.  Ares was about to flash them away, but something kept him grounded.  He was so focused on the blushing mortal lying in his arms that he missed two very important things; the twang of a bow string and the angry growl of his half-brother.


Hercules made it back to the village but it was burning.  He had a bad feeling he had forgotten something important.  There, in the center of the village, his godly brother stood holding someone, and Hercules' stomach dropped out.  Joxer!  He had forgotten Joxer and now his brother was holding the mortal smirking evilly!  That smile promised bad things for his friend.  Hercules charged Ares and two things happened.  He snatched Joxer away and he felt something hit him square in the back.  Pain laced his torso then it faded.  He looked down at Joxer who looked pained, frightened, and confused.  He was still a bit unfocused.  Hercules shook his head and suddenly Joxer looked really, really good.

“Are you alright Joxer?” He whispered and stroked the man’s hair.  Joxer gasped his skin was still really sensitive.  Clueless to the pain he had caused, Hercules smiled, “Has anyone ever told you your eyes are beautiful?”

Ares frowned and felt the urge to punch his brother’s head clean off, ok that was normal, but what wasn’t normal was the pang of jealousy as his hated half-brother mooned over his worshiper.

“Damn!” He heard a shout and turned in time to see his son, “That arrow wasn’t meant for you Uncle Herc.”

Cupid came trotting over into the center of the burning destruction, “I…ah…was kind of trying to shoot you Pops…It was on orders.  Zeus said you needed to get laid you were major stressed out, but well Unc here pushed you out of the way.”

Hercules didn’t acknowledge either god as he lifted Joxer closer and kissed him on the lips.  Joxer squealed and tried to push away but well he was even weaker than normal and in the arms of the world’s strongest man.  Ares on the other hand was watching in fascinated horror as his hated half-brother raped Joxer’s mouth.

"I'm sorry Pops, Herc, Joxer.  That arrow was meant for a god and it's gonna take some time to make a reversing potion," Cupid explained to them though Ares was staring blankly at his brother and Joxer was beating Hercules' chest trying to get him to stop atempting to suck his lungs out through his mouth.  Hercules was groping Joxer's ass as he played tonsil hockey with him.

Cupid sighed realizing he wasn't getting anyone's attention.  He smacked his father on the arm and finally got his attention, "Unless you want to see Uncle Herc ripping Joxer's clothes off and doing the horozontal hustle then I think you better do something.  That nookie was meant for you not him."

Ares looked a bit horrified and then realization dawned on him, "This was a set-up?  You little..."

"Look at the time!  I need to go see mom about that potion.  Keep Unc away form Jox for me?"  Cupid made a gesture of looking at his wrist that was lost on the War God.  He then flashed out without waiting for an answer.

The god was left to seperate the demi-god from his mortal follower.  He tapped Hercules shoulder.  The man didn't stop in his quest to shove his tongue down Joxer's throat so Ares, at the risk of further angering his father, reared back and punched the half god.  He went flying, taking Joxer with him...unfortunatly.  Ok, he could have planned that better.  Hercules turned in the air to try and cushion the blow for Joxer.  Ares transported toward them grabbing Joxer by the arm and kicking Hercules into another poor unfortunate house.  Ares hauled Joxer, who had fainted, over his shoulder.  He vanished with the mortal in tow.

Hercules burst forth from the crumbled building snarling and roaring like a mad beast, "Ares!  Bring him back!"

"Not if the fates themselves ordered it," Ares mumbled as he appeared in one of his earth temples very far away from where Hercules was.  Ares's fingers were stroking over the rounded flesh of Joxer's behind.  It was nice, firm and smooth.

Ares made himself known, walking into the main chamber.  A priest rushed over, bowed deeply and simpered, "Lord Ares, you honor us with your presence.  Is there anything I might do for you?"

"Make up a bed and draw a warm bath for this mortal.  He is under my protection.  I expect him to be treated with the proper respect,"  Ares ordered and walked to his throne and took a seat adjusting Joxer so he lay across his lap, "Let me know when the bath is ready.  He smells."  Joxer really stank.  He was covered in soot and grime.  His clothes were ruined.  He could have fixed those things with a thought but he had already expended a lot of energy healing the mortal.

He would let his priests bathe him and put him to bed.  Then they could probably salvage his clothes.  His armor was...well he could just give the metal to a smith to use and say it was lost in the fire.  His silly helmet had been left behind anyway.  He couldn't make do with an incomplete set now could he?

The leather of his armor was cracked and dried.  It was even more useless then it had been.  He could recreate the monstrosity just for a laugh.  Ares chuckled quietly.  It wasn't maniacal, just a warm and throaty laugh; one that would have any woman and probably most men panting lustily after the owner of it.  The fellow looked so strange in the armor with that rediclous hat to top it off.  All that did was probably make walking difficult and hide his fetching body.

Even his face looked better sans the helmet.  He looked so young, so innocent, so...unspoiled.  Reading him, and not really needing, to he knew the young warrior was still a blood innocent.  He had yet to kill anything more than the beast of the feild and even then he was too soft hearted most times to make the final Strike.  Unless someone else caught and killed a beast he mostly subsisted on fish.    The faint smell of it mingled with the smoky smell.  It was on his clothes.  Ares could deal but he called for one of his servants.

"Yes my Lord?" A young preist in training came and knelt before the man.  He glanced up at the unconcious mortal but quickly averted his eyes not wishing to risk angering his god.

"Make certain that a good ammount of myrrh and lavander oils are mixed with the bath water.  My follower smells...unpleasant," Ares felt a rumble in his chest.  The boy ignored the rumbling purr that nearly vibrated him.  His god seemed to be in a pleasant mood and he wouldn't dream of pointing it out and getting himself wiped from existance.  He ran off to tell his superior his god's desire.

Ares smiled.  Those oils would be doubly benificial.  They would give Joxer a pleasing scent and they would also relax him physically and mentally.  He rubbed the Joxer's cheek and he flinched slightly in his unconsciousness.   This young man needed to relax if anyone did.  Joxer had shown great bravery.  Oh he had been scared, terrified.  His body reeked of adrenalin and fear.  Ares hated the smell on this man, more than the faint fishy smell or the charred leather and soot scents covering him.  He was a ball of anxiety, as much bravado as he cloaked himself in he always stunk of fear.  Every time he confronted Xena and that annoying bard...If Joxer was with them he smelled it.  Usually the God of War simply ignored the mortal, tried to stay down wind of that stench.

Today he saw something in the clumsy man.  Ares saw potential in someone who could push such overwhelming anxiety aside and rush into a dangerous situation headlong.  If he could add tact and skill to that Joxer could actually be useful.  Ares liked things that were useful to him.  If nothing else it could prove a pleasant distraction.  First things first, he needed to get rid of that overwhelming fear.  Joxer's fear of him might make him obediant but he needed more than another mindless follower.

The priest returned and bowed, "The bath is ready my Lord.  Shall I take this man to be cleansed?"

Ares made a decision then and there.  He didn't relish the idea of his priest touching this delicate yet strong man.  He shook his head and stood.

"Your grace?"  The man quiried.

"I wish to do it personally," Ares stood holding the fragile mortal life in his arms.

"But, Lord Ares such a menal task is..." The priest ducked when he received a glare.

"You question my wishes?" Ares growled.

"Oh, my most humble apologies Lord Ares!" He bowed so low his head touched the floor.

"Get up and go prepare a meal for this man,"  He ordered and then thought about it, "Anything but fish."

"Yes my lord," The priest hurried to the temple kitchen.

Ares headed to the bathing chamber.  He could smell the perfumed water from the main hall.  Ares looked down at the charred remains of Joxer's clothes and armor and sighed.  He vanished them with a thought.  They could provide him with all new kit and clothing.  If he was going to take charge of the mortal he might as well go all out.

Ares looked at the alabaster flesh of the young man in his arms and smirked.  Joxer was rather gifted in certain areas.  If this man was a virgin there were a lot of women, and men, missing out.

Ares saw the gentle steam wafting from the tub in the center of the bathing chamber.  He had asked for warm water specifically because the mortal's freshly repaired skin would be extera sensitive.  He slowly lowered the moral into the tub.  Joxer gasped and his eyes shot open.  he clinged to the gods arms and tried to arch away from the water.

"Relax mortal.  I'm only trying to clean you up," Ares spoke in a flat tone.  He was fighting hard to not show amusement in his voice or actions.

"Huh?" Joxer said stupidly and blinked.  He looked up at the one holding him.  His vision slowly started to focus and he gasped, "Ares?!"

"You will adress me with the proper respect mortal!"  He growled in mock iritation.  He was actually rather enjoying the man's reactions.

"Oh Ares!  Um...Lord, Sir, Your Worship, Your High...ness?" Joxer ran through all the respectful titles that popped in his head.

"Lord Ares will do," Ares thought...for the time being.  He would wait and see where this lead before he would offer a more casual interaction.


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