You Drama Everything

BY : Missi_Young
Category: G through L > Glee
Dragon prints: 1821
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any characters, places, or ideas associated with it. Further, I do not own the Blue October lyrics I used as the title. I receive no compensation from this work, financial or otherwise.

You Drama Everything:  A Glee One shot


Sequal to "Tell Me, Teacher, What's My Lesson?"


They'd won Sectionals, despite Will Schuester's conviction that they hadn't earned it.  As it stood, however, they were competing in Regionals in just two short months; while he would normally not bring it up with his Gleeks just yet, preferring that they not worry themselves overly much for too great a time, Will felt that he had no choice.


He was absolutely making the changes he'd decided on before their Sectionals competition three days prior.


This could very well be the end of New Directions.




Sam was seated on the stage between Quinn and Mike, happily watching Puck fail to catch Kurt's attention with his attempts at subtlety; the best part, according to Mercedes' whisper across the puppy pile, was how epically Puck was failing to understand the concept of subtlety.  Leaning his head slightly to the right so that it could meet Mike's where it was rested on Artie's knee (Artie always did that soothing hair petting thing when you laid your head on his knee, which everyone loved), Sam agreed with Mercedes' assessment.  Rachel was on the stage, her grating voice monologuing about her superior vocals or some dumb shit that Sam couldn't be bothered to give a fuck about.  Sam's left arm wrapped around Quinn's shoulders, encountering Lauren's head where it nestled into Quinn's neck; Sam tried to duplicate Artie's hair petting thing, which got him a happy hum from Lauren and a kiss from Quinn before they turned back to the Pummel show.


The majority of New Directions could only fervently hope that this would be the day Kurt Hummel stood himself before Noah Puckerman in his tight jeans and bitch boots demanding oral satisfaction followed by a presentation of his posterior to be used at Kurt's pleasure via silent eyebrow raise.  Knowing Puck's sincere lust for a good bitch, and absolute obsession with Kurt Hummel, there was no doubt that he would fulfill that request before the thought fully registered.  This show was much anticipated.



Will stood at the back of the darkened auditorium, silently snickering as he watched Noah Puckerman make an absolute fool out of himself in the hopes of currying favor with one Kurt Hummel.  Kurt, for his part, didn't even seem to notice Puck's antics in the wake of Rachel Berry's vocal tsunami; Will cringed as the girl's ego filled the air with what he could only hope were obliviously cruel words, instead of the malice he believed to be closer to the truth.  Finn was, as always, her brainless hype-man.  When she stormed off in a huff because no one would agree with her except Finn, who followed her like a particularly brainless puppy, Kurt took center stage.  Without a single word spoken the assembled Gleeks took their places and launched into an obviously well known vocal warm up, which was accompanied by a series of stretches obviously designed to prepare them for heavy dancing.  Will watched for a few minutes, intending to allow his students to finish this exercise before he potentially detonated the glee club.  As he was making his move toward the front of the house Will stopped again as something occurred to him.  Another few minutes of silent observation proved that it had not been a fluke of some sort.


Mike Chang, the New Directions' tone deaf dance prodigy, was singing in tune and on key.


Mercedes Jones was managing stretches that her weight had made impossible when Will had introduced them at the beginning of the school year; he'd allowed her to skip them, uncomfortable with the thought of insinuating anything about her size being a detriment.


Lauren made the same stretches, and her slightly nasal, often off key, voice was both clear and on key.


They were all taking their cues from Kurt, sincerely hoping for the praise he spread generously over the group as the warm up routine came to a close.


Will had a new idea...



Kurt had no idea why he'd been asked to stay behind after Glee, but he'd agreed and sent his friends ahead; he would meet them at Quinn's house as scheduled, where they would work on the semester projects that were coming up due very, very soon.  This Friday soon.  Just after that was midterms, which Kurt was fairly confident they were well prepared for.  Once the last of the students left (Rachel shooting a smug look at Kurt, obviously expecting him to be in some sort of trouble) Mr. Schue invited Kurt to join him on the risers, sitting in a seat roughly centered on the front row.  Kurt sat with a chair between them, knowing that they both tended to talk with their hands.  After a moment Mr. Schue started to speak.  And speak.  And speak some more.  Throughout the monologue Kurt's eyebrow began to rise; when Mr. Schue reached his conclusion, Kurt was ready.


"You do, of course, realize that this will not be easy?"


Mr. Schue nodded, gesturing expansively as he detailed the obstacles he could foresee, including the disbandment of the club altogether.  Kurt nodded decisively.


"Leave that to me.  Here's what we'll do..."



Quinn's mother greeted Kurt with the usual affection before sending him into the living room while she worked on making dinner for the group.  Kurt joined his friends with a smile; their projects were all technically completed, even for those like himself who had major projects due on Friday for four different classes.  The point of this gathering was to have it looked over with fresh eyes so that any last minute adjustments could be made.  They were nearly flawless, and the few changes that needed to be made were easily done; Artie and Lauren had a few grammatical inconsistencies, Brittany needed to reprint her essay using black ink instead of purple, and Kurt's old nemesis the box needed to once again have more than four sides (he truly did know and understand the concept, it just seemed to desert him when it needed it most).  Once everything was corrected they carefully packed their projects away into the trunks of their cars, not to be touched again until Friday.  Those who did not have a car of their own (or had a pick up, like Puck) entrusted their projects to Kurt's Navigator.


Dinner was a lively affair, as it always was during their thrice weekly rotating study nights, and everyone pitched in to help clean up afterward.  Once the friends had settled in Quinn's small back yard with coffee Kurt decided that it was time.


"Mr. Shue wanted to talk to me about the changes we're making to the Glee Club."


All eyes fixed on Kurt immediately, and he gave a malicious smile.



Tina squeezed Santana's hand in silent joy; he'd done it!  He'd actually done it!  Mr. Shuester had announced mandatory auditions for solo and duet pieces for every single performance, even if it wasn't a competition!  He wasn't backing down in the face of Rachel's tantrum, and he didn't appear to be considering contacting any alcoholic pedophiles to join a high school show choir!  Santana squeezed back when Mr. Shue ignored Rachel completely, choosing instead to announce the end of the ineffective captaincy.  Instead there would be a club president and advisory council; the president would be voted on, and they would choose their own council along whatever guidelines they considered necessary.  If anyone wished not to be a member of the council, or believed that a council member was not acting in the best interests of the club as a whole, they could be ousted by a majority vote; because of their appointment of the ineffective member, the President would, of course, abstain from voting unless a tiebreaker was needed.  A chain of command and line of communication would be established and posted on the notice board in the choir room so that everyone had unrestricted access to it.


Mike shouted out his nomination of Kurt for president, which was immediately seconded by both Brittany and Artie.  Mercedes called for an immediate vote, during which everyone except Finchel and Kurt raised their hands.  Rachel screeched out her own nomination, elbowing Finn until he seconded it; when she called for a vote, only she and Finn raised their hands.  When pressed for his vote, Kurt explained that he felt it unethical to vote for himself (Rachel turned a splotchy red at the gentle insult) and had no desire to vote for Rachel; if a better candidate were nominated, Kurt explained, his vote would go immediately to them.  As things stood he was exercising his right to abstain.  Mr. Shue nodded with a smile, asking for additional nominations; when none were forthcoming Mr. Shue announced Kurt Hummel as the new President of New Directions and turned the meeting over to him.  Rachel made her usual ACLU threats, which were ignored, and stormed from the room.  Finn trailed after her as always, undoubtedly preparing himself for the several hours of diva fit in his future.  Sam, Quinn, and Santana shared a look, acknowledging that one of them was likely to be hosting an emotional Kurt that evening; for a man who was so amazing when outsiders talked shit about his son, Burt Hummel had a tendency to accept Finn's bullshit at face value and come down hard on Kurt for Finn's drama.  He never admitted when he was wrong or apologized for the damage this caused to his only child.  Sam would very likely never forgive either Finn or Mr. Hummel for torpedoing his duet with Kurt; Sam still wanted to sing with Kurt, and was willing to do anything to get his duet.






Quinn elbowed Sam in the side, sharing a knowing smile with Santana because when Puck ultimately lost his novelty in Kurt's view, Quinn was absolutely throwing her boyfriend into Kurt's path.  Then she and Santana were going to watch every delicious moment.  Sam started, throwing his girlfriend a sheepish grin before refocusing his attention on Kurt, sighing slightly as he remembered Finn's likely stupidity.


They would be ready.



Kurt took his newly elected rightful place at the front of the room.  He silently acknowledged the looks being exchanged by his three best friends, knowing that they would be ready for the fallout sure to come; Kurt watched Sam's eyes glaze and clear with a slight smirk, fully aware of Quinn's pervy intentions (which he was not actually opposed to, although making them wait was fun).  With a deep, cleansing breath, Kurt released his dread for the events sure to await him at home and turned his full internal focus onto the Glee Club.  Mr. Shue looked almost embarrassingly eager, and Mercedes had a notebook and pen at hand to help him keep track of the meeting.  With another deep breath Kurt began.


"Thank you all for your faith in my dedication and ability.  I promise to do my best to live up to your expectations."


His friends all beamed at him, filled with that very faith.


"I believe that it would be best to appoint the council today, as I believe it may take awhile to ensure we're all happy with the results.  I hope to have a four person council, including Mr. Shuester."


There was some confusion now, a few people nodding thoughtfully; Mr. Shue was amongst the confused, so Kurt explained.


"As our faculty adviser it is only logical that Mr. Shue would, in fact, advise us.  While we have all expressed interest in and frustration at the denial of songs outside of Mr. Shue's personal wheelhouse we also tend to ignore the bounds of propriety for performances in front of the school as a whole.  While I agree that we should have more leeway in the privacy of meetings and rehearsals, we can only benefit from the professionalism and experience that Mr. Shue brings to the table.  We tend to ignore his input to our own peril simply because we've felt creatively stifled in all other aspects of Glee Club.  Having our individual voices validated in our daily gatherings will, I believe, lessen the desire we collectively feel to ignore Mr. Shue's thoughts as we've felt ignored in the past."


The other students were nodding now, smiling and quietly voicing their growing agreements.  Mr. Shue looked guilty but determined; Kurt hoped that his determination meant listening to their reasons before denying songs that he either didn't know or didn't like for no reason other than not knowing and/or liking it.  Mercedes looked up from her notebook with a smile, having transcribed a rough paraphrasing of Kurt's reasoning and the club's acceptance of Mr. Shue as a council member.  It was a smart idea, and maybe they could make Mr. Shue feel important without allowing the man any actual power over them.  When Kurt started talking again, Mercedes was ready.


"I'm inclined to divide the rest of us into three rough, not even remotely precise, categories when choosing our other three council members."


Seeing that he had everyone's attention, Kurt continued.


"I'll explain my reasoning for the categories I'll be placing you in, even if you don't feel it's a good fit for you personally, and why I've chosen these loose definitions in the first place."


A few nods of understanding, but the group sat mostly silent and still; the trust they had for Kurt was written on their faces, making him honestly a little uncomfortable.  This level of autonomy that he'd been granted was truly a lot a pressure and he had no interest in cracking under it.


"The most easily defined and explained category is the Gleerios, which consists of Quinn, Santana, Brittany, and Mercedes."


Mercedes looked up sharply, clearly ready to argue, while Santana nodded thoughtfully; it was obvious that she knew where Kurt was coming from.  Kurt launched into his explanation before the building explosion could occur.


"I've included Mercedes because, while she no longer trains or performs with the Cheerios, she does help them with their vocal rehearsals.  In a very real way the Cheerios still consider Mercedes one of their own and I'm choosing to honor that."


Mercedes blushed, having not expected the acknowledgment of her continued association with her friends from her short time on the squad, and dismissed her instinctive rejection of the idea.


"By acknowledging the Cheerios as an individual entity within the confines of New Direction, I believe that it will be less of a struggle to get Coach Sylvester onside.  Quinn, as her current favorite we'll need you to begin a Charm Offense to help us increase our membership."


Quinn voiced her acceptance of the task, agreeing that she was currently the best candidate for the job.


"Beyond that, however, I would prefer to appoint Santana as my Gleerio Adviser."


"Of course you should.  She has contacts that I never will, and giving two of us assignments of importance will help to sway Coach Sylvester to our cause."


Mr. Shue looked surprised by Quinn's reasoning but remained silent in the face of the solemn nods coming from the Cheerios.  Santana peeked around Brittany to smile at Mercedes.


"Will you be my First Lieutenant?"


Mercedes grinned her agreement, holding up her notebook teasingly.


"Already on it."


Four bright smiles beamed up at Kurt, who beamed back before turning his attention back to the thus far categorized students.


"Next is, of course, our Glocks, which includes Artie, Sam, Mike, Puck, Finn, and Lauren."


Lauren looked surprised, as she'd always considered the Glocks to be football players, but she shook it off quickly enough.


"I'm not assigning Charm Offensives to the Glocks.  It's easier with the Cheerios because they incorporate elements of singing and dancing into their routines whereas other sporting endeavors simply do not.  My first choice of advisers would be Lauren.  However, with the Olympics coming up next summer there's only one more match to secure her place and I really don't want to add any extra pressure.  I think that we can all agree having our girl win an Olympic Gold Medal is far more important than show choir."


Mr. Shue looked absolutely stunned at the mention of the Olympics, but managed to clear it from his face by the time the obnoxious cheering and catcalling aimed toward the blushing Greco-Roman wrestler settled down.  Lauren voiced her thanks, promising to do them proud, and the meeting had to pause for several minutes of group hugs.  When they were once again seated (in not at all the same configuration, not that anyone cared), Kurt took control of the meeting again.


"So, since Lauren would be ideal but has much more important things to worry about I'd like to ask Mike to stand as Glock Adviser"


The first, and loudest, protestation of this appointment came from Mike so Kurt endeavored to explain.


"Your popularity is somewhat strange.  You never tried to obtain it in the first place, you've never tried to keep it, and you've never tried to increase it.  Everyone knows who you are and respects you, yet you somehow remain invisible and manage to overhear everything worth knowing in this school.  You speak to people outside of our group so rarely that when you do have something to say everyone listens and accepts it as truth without question because you don't consider them worth the effort of lying to and they know it."


"So put me in charge of gathering information, don't make me an Adviser!"


Kurt continued, ignoring Mike's panicked shriek.


"Most importantly you've somehow convinced eighty percent of the school that dancing is cool; sure, they mostly like the pop-and-lock stuff but they like watching you no matter what style of dance you're doing because you make no secret of the fact that you're truly enjoying yourself.  For a demographic that judges so much of their self worth by what others think of them, seeing you do something you love without any concern for their opinions is like receiving their Hogwarts letter."


Mike blushed at that absolute truth, accepting a fist bump from Artie even as Tina leaned over Sam to kiss his cheek.


"In all honesty, Mike, the most positive reviews we get from our schoolmates come from performances where you choreograph dances that absolutely should not work with the song we're singing but it does because you make it so."


Mike conceded to Kurt's reasoning at the encouragement of his fellow Gleeks, accepting the position of Glock Adviser on the provision that Lauren help when time allowed.  She agreed with a fist bump and Mercedes dutifully recorded the results.  Tina smirked at Kurt, waiting to hear his third category.  Kurt smirked back, knowing she would be amused rather than insulted by his phrasing.


"The third category, consisting of Rachel, Tina and I, shall be known as 'Other Assorted Gleeks'."


The raucous laughter that broke out stalled the meeting for several minutes, during which the Jazz Band leader took Kurt aside.  Once the meeting was back on track Kurt amended his statement.


"My apologies.  Other Assorted Gleeks consists of myself, Tina, The Jazz Band minus Tabitha who is a Gleerio, and Rachel."


Loud cheers rang out; with the band officially announcing themselves as members of the Glee Club their numbers were no longer in danger, taking a great deal of pressure off of Quinn's Charm Offense.  Not that she planned to slack off, of course.  Before Kurt could continue, Tina spoke up.


"I move that the Jazz Band should be appropriately represented on the Advisory Council.  Between Rachel and myself I don't think it's egotistical to say that I was the obvious choice.  However one of the most notable parts of our performances is the fact that we have live accompaniment.  Sometimes the string section or trumpet player end up incorporated into our choreography for the school or private performances; it certainly won't be difficult to include them in our competitions, as well.  Therefore they should absolutely have a say in what we're performing."


Kurt turned to the Jazz Band for their opinions while the assembled Gleeks voiced their approval.  After a short consultation the band leader agreed, nominating their flutist for the position; Carrie, the flutist in question, had a hand in all of their performance pieces for the Jazz Band's own competitions and would therefore know what would be the best use of the ensemble.  Kurt agreed and asked for objections; none were forthcoming so Kurt announced the finalization of the Council.  Before he could say anything to potentially end the meeting Carrie asked Tina to be the Pinky to her Brain in their Quest For World Domination:  Show Choir Edition; Tina accepted with an appropriate 'NARF' and the council was officially complete.  Mercedes and Lauren promised to design and print an official document to hang on the classroom notice board that evening, which would include contact information for all four Advisers and the President.  Mr. Shuester was surprised that 'his' students didn't need to ask the Jazz Band for their information but remained silent; in doing so he learned that the Jazz Band was part of the Finchel Free Glee Text Tree and he didn't know how he felt about that.


When Kurt called Mr. Shuester to the front of the room to announce the assignment for the week there was some groaning, which Kurt addressed as the slightly discombobulated teacher made his way down.  The assignments, Kurt explained, were important because it helped them learn to express their emotions on certain subjects they may otherwise choose to suppress, while also helping to distance themselves from those same emotions so as not to be overwhelmed by them.  Will stood just behind Kurt, waiting for him to finish before announcing his theme of the week; he was interested in seeing where Kurt planned to take this.


"Don't get too comfortable, though.  Next week we're changing up the weekly assignment format somewhat; Advisers, be ready to meet after Monday's meeting."


At Will's prompting Kurt explained further.


"The assignments will still be individualized so that we can have our individual voices recognized for what they are.  For members of the Glee Band, we'll discuss ways for you to complete the assignment as well if none of you wish to sing or dance for it.  However the Advisory Council and I will also choose one group number that relates to the assignment each week, which we will perform either for ourselves or during lunch on Friday.  The purpose of this is to help us really support one another and stabilize our group voice, which doesn't receive the attention that I feel it needs for us to truly make our performances great."


Will was proud of his students when there were no objections to the addition of a second mandatory performance each week.  Even as he gave the assignment for the week ('Togetherness', either individually or in groups of their choosing) Will Shuester wondered why he hadn't simply given control over New Directions to Kurt Hummel the year before.  What was it about Rachel and Finn that had convinced him the club couldn't succeed without them?  He couldn't remember and frankly no longer cared to.



  End Note:


I was asked to continue "Tell Me Teacher" years ago and had every intention of doing so.  Unfortunately life interfered, as it always does, and I haven't been able to do so until now; honestly, the only reason I'm doing it now is because I desperately need a distraction from real life right now.  I have so many open multi-chapter fics in so many places that I just can't bring myself to open another one, so this universe will be a series of one shots.  I may someday compile them into a single fic, but as it stands now that will not be the case.





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