Diamonds are Forever Ms. Wainwright

BY : BlackfireBurns
Category: 1 through F > Big Time Rush
Dragon prints: 152
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush, the characters, names or any of the concepts. I profit in NO WAY monetarily, or in any other shape or form from this story. It is a simple work of fiction.

It all started with a prank. Just one simple comment meant to knock James Diamond down a peg or two. The guys had been rehearsing and recording all day, Gustavo had been an absolute terror and they were all beyond exhausted when they left the studio that day. Carlos was so tired he'd conked out on the ride home. Logan was staring into space and Kendall was just irritable. He had wanted to share a picnic with Jo but Gustavo had held them four extra hours. Now she wasn't answering his texts. Truthfully the only member of the band with a smile on his face was their prettiest member, James.

“Oh my god I sounded so good today,” James was carrying on in his usual manner.

“Did you hear me? I know Gustavo did. That's why he kept us so long because he couldn't let this beautiful voice go. He won't admit it but he loves my vocals.”

Kendall rolled his eyes and glanced out the window.

“I think I actually saw a tear in his eye when my part came up. What do you guys think?”

Nobody answered. Of course James didn't notice. He went on as they arrived home, Kendall carrying a sleeping Carlos to the apartment. Logan beat them to the door and opened it.

“I swear I blow myself away sometimes. Apparently Gustavo too. Oh did you see Kelly? He sent her out of the room because she was practically fainting.”

Kendall began to grind his teeth.

“I don't blame her though. What girl can survive the James Diamond experience up close?”

Logan kicked off his shoes.

“Dude she's like in her twenties.”

James shrugged.

“So? She may be old but she's still a girl.”

Kendall left them briefly to set Carlos down in his bed. The sleeping Latino immediately curled up and sighed in his sleep. He looked so peaceful. So content. Carefully he removed his tennis shoes before leaving him to his slumber.

“…just didn't want to admit how totally awesome I am,” James was still running his mouth back in the living room.

Beyond annoyed now, Kendall decided to teach him a lesson.

“Seriously James, your vocals were horrible today.”

Both Logan and James spun to face him.

“Yea right,” James dismissed him.

“I heard me. Gustavo heard me. I was pretty damn good.”

Kendall ignored the surprised look on Logan’s face and continued.

“Sorry James, I hate to be the one to tell you this but Gustavo really didn’t like your vocals. I overheard him telling Kelly that you were so awful that he was considering replacing you in the band.”

Logan's eyes narrowed dubiously. Kendall winked at him.

“W-what?” James as usual had been too absorbed in himself to notice.

“He didn't really say that did he?”

The panicked look on his face was almost enough to call the whole joke off but Kendall had suffered through an entire ride in LA traffic with his mouth. He needed recompense.

“Yea, he did. And for your replacement, he said he was considering Wayne Wayne.”

This time James screamed.

“He can't do that! I'm way handsomer than that skinny punk. And he can't even sing. Nobody can sing like me!”

Logan was shooting Kendall a disapproving look.

“Well that's what Gustavo said,” Kendall turned to the kitchen to hide his smirk. This was making him feel better already.

“In fact he said your vocals were so horrible today he was going to call Wayne up and have him record over them tonight.”

Another scream from his friend. Kendall didn't dare turn around lest he burst into laughter.

“Kendall—” Logan had that tone.

“That little weasel isn't touching my vocals,” James declared.

“I'll do better. I'll sing his ass so deep into the ground he'll have dirt shooting out of his ears. Just you watch!”

Before Kendall could say anything else James stormed off, slamming the apartment door after him. He couldn't take it anymore. The tall blond fell against the counter and cracked up.

“That was so mean,” Logan scolded him but who was scared of Logan?

Katie could beat him up.

“I couldn't help it,” he managed between laughs.

“He was so freaking obnoxious in the car. I had to do it.”

Logan folded his arms under his chest.

“He's going to go down there and Gustavo is going to yell at him.”

“Like Gustavo doesn't already yell at all of us every day,” Kendall retorted, still quite amused with himself.

He ignored his friend's pensive look and grabbed a juice from the fridge. He then plopped down on the couch and turned on the tv.

“Relax, Loges. James will be back soon and I'll tell him the truth then. Okay?”

He waited for a slight nod before patting the space beside him.

“Have a seat. Space Zombies is on.”

Logan shook his head.

“I'm too tired. Just going to shower and go to bed.”

He watched his genius friend leave the room, still smiling to himself. James would be so pissed when he got back but the look on his face had been so worth it. This prank would tickle him for days.



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