Unlimited Remote Chapter 001

BY : JamesRyder
Category: M through R > Married With Children
Dragon prints: 334
Disclaimer: I do not own Married with Children or any of their characters. I am in no way affiliated with the copyright owners. This is a work of Fan Fiction and written solely for fun.

My name is James Ryder, I’m 35 years old, I’m 6’1” and weigh 180 pounds. I’m not ripped but I’m not pudgy. Add a shaved head, a trimmed beard, blue eyes, and I am the typical generic average white male. Except in one miraculous way. I have the ability to turn fantasy into reality.

This is how I got that power.

A week ago, I was visiting my parents in rural Montana. The trip was going well but when other family arrived, I decided to explore the town and its shops. Living in south Florida you don’t always find some of these quaint small-town shops.

After spending most of the late morning walking through a two-floor wood furniture store I stopped in at the local diner for some lunch. Over a phenomenal burger and fries I stuck up a conversation with the waitress. I wanted to ask a local about any cool old shops I might not have noticed. She told me about a mysterious curio store in town.

She even drew me a map because it had no store front facing the street. It was apparently just a door in an alleyway.

In Florida this would have screamed setup to me, but here, in this small town, it seemed like the most normal thing in the world. I finished my meal, payed my check, leaving a healthy tip for the information, and headed out on my adventure with my new treasure map.

I quickly realized the need for the map. I would have missed the alley entirely if I hadn’t been looking for it. The building was brick and the door was red. I tried the handle, not realizing at the time the journey of joy I was embarking on.

I walked in and was met with the pleasantly mixed scent of sandalwood incense and old leather. The store was much bigger on the inside than it had seemed possible. There were more than a few sections I wanted to check out, I saw an area loaded with old tin windup toys, old vinyl records, and a vintage clothes section that looked promising.

I spent a little over an hour browsing the store. I could have spent far longer but it was getting late and I didn’t want to make them stay open longer on my account. Plus, now that I knew where it was, I could always return any time I visited my folks.

I hadn’t found anything new in the toy section to add to my classic toy collection, but I had found a nice leather jacket and a few light shirts I could wear back home. I gathered my finds and I made my way to the cash register. There was an elderly gentleman behind the register, and he wrung me up as we made small talk. I noticed something on a shelf next to the register. It seemed out of place, a universal remote with no company markings.

“What’s this?” I asked the guy as I picked it up. It was completely sealed, and I couldn’t even see where the batteries could be replaced. Maybe it was an original prototype or some solar powered European model.

“Oh, you have a good eye. That is a very special item. It was actually given to me when I was younger, but now that I’ve had my fun with it, I’ve decided to pass it on. For a price of course.”

“You’ll forgive me for saying, but if it was given to you when you were young, why does it look so modern?”

“I understand.” He chuckled. “I know how this sounds.”

Looking back on it perhaps it was because I was willing to question instead of outright dismiss him that he had chosen me. Of course, I could be overthinking it.

“It seems to change as the years go on.” He continued like it was a great tale, on par with Homer’s Odyssey. “The only thing that never changes is that it’s completely sealed. I was told when I got it that if the case was ever opened it would stop working. Never tested the theory myself, but I wouldn’t risk it.”

“Woah now, slow down. You’re talking like I’ve already bought it.” I interrupted to make sure he knew I hadn’t made up my mind.

“Oh, you’re going to buy it. Make no mistake, I see it in your eyes, but you’re right. You need a demonstration of what it can do before you’ll be concerned about it being able to do it.”

His offer was interesting and, I will admit, made me curious. So, I followed him into a back office. There was a cot and a desk with a mess of papers all over it. It looked like he lived here as well as worked her. There was also a small TV with a classic looking DVD/VHS dual player hooked into it.

He powered on the TV and the player, checking what was in it, and then handed me the remote.

“So, this works as a typical remote, you see the volume and channel buttons as well as all the video control buttons. These are all standard and do their intended functions. Where it gets interesting is this red button here at the bottom of the layout.”

As he was explaining I saw that the show was an episode of Married with Children. A classic. It opened with a scene of Kelly Bundy sitting alone in the living room and he reached over to pause the show.

“Now here is where the fun begins. When you press that red button, you will be in the show.”

“Like a projection or a VR type of deal?” I was skeptical. This all sounded crazy, but I didn’t see the harm in playing along.

“No. I know how this sounds so just bear with me while I explain. You will be in the show, you can interact with the characters and it will be them, not the actors portraying them, you can do as you please and can’t be harmed in anyway. When you’re done with your… fun… you just hit the red button again and you’ll be back in this world. No time will have passed, and nothing will have changed in the show.”

I raised by eyebrows skeptically as I processed what he had just said. This sounded like magic or fantasy. Perhaps this man really was crazy and trying to rob me. Something else stuck in the back of my mind, a half formed thought I was trying to force into existence.

“I’m sure this all sounds insane but that’s why I figured you would want to try it before you bought it.”

Like a bolt of lightning the half-formed thought exploded in my brain.

“If it can do everything you say, let you live out your wildest dreams and deepest fantasies, why are you selling it and how has no one bought it yet?”

He smiled and nodded like he had been waiting for this question.

“Well, I’m selling it because I’ve had my fun with it and I’d rather see it go to someone new than be lost in my effects when I die. As for why no one has bought it yet, honestly, everyone else who ever looked at it never trusted what it could do enough to even get to a demonstration. You’re the first to have enough of a healthy curiosity to entertain what sounds like fantasy could be a reality.”

“Okay then, let’s see if it’s as good as you say it is.”

I braced myself and pushed the red button.


I looked around, sure that my jaw would hit the floor it dropped so hard. It was true. I was standing in the Bundy’s living room. I could smell the air and there, sitting on the couch, dressed in a red tube top and black leather miniskirt was Kelly Bundy. I saw her chest rise and fall as she breathed, and lingered feeling how I had felt when I was young and jerking off to thoughts of this very girl.

She looked at me, playing with her long blond hair and capturing my gaze with her green, doe like, eyes. Her figure was the type wet dreams were made from and she stood up from the couch showing off her long gorgeous legs and as she pushed her hair off her shoulders her tits pushed out. I could just make out the hard nipples under the tight fabric.

“Hey mister, like something you see”

It was her voice, her mannerisms, this was no VR program, this was her and if everything that guy had told me I could do whatever I wanted. The fabric of her skirt barely covered her panties. It looked tight enough on her hips that I was surprised it didn’t rip when she moved.

“Kelly…” I was still a little dumbfounded and my thoughts were racing.

“That’s me. Kelly Bundy.” She smiled and moved a little closer to me. “You are kind of cute, have I done you before?”

Those words made up my mind for me. I didn’t care anymore if this was real. I was going to make my teenage fantasy come true.

“And you are drop dead sexy.” I reached out and put my hands on her shoulders. I could feel her warmth, she was as real as me. A shock of anticipation shot through me.

I pulled her in moving one hand down her back to grab her perfectly tight ass and entwined my fingers in her hair. My lips connected with hers and she let out a slight moan as her lips spread and out tongues began to explore each other’s mouths.

As we continued to make out, I tightened my grip on her hair to control her head movements and moved my other hand a little lower from her ass cheeks to between her legs. My fingers connected with flesh and I pulled her head back slightly.

“No underwear?” I used my best stern angry tone.

“Why bother,” she moaned back with a wanting lust in her eyes, “it just gets in the way.”

I moved my middle finger to slide between her pussy lips and flicked her clit a little harder than I usually would. Her low, sharp, intake of breath let me know she liked the mixture of pleasure and pain.

“Well then, you want to dress like a slut I’ll punish you like one.” I hissed as I sat on the couch and pulled her across my lap.

I pulled her skirt up, exposing the soft creamy flesh of her well-toned ass. I hear her let out a low moan at the exposure. Her moan quickly turned to a yelp of surprise as my palm made a solid connection with her ass.

The smack resounded through the empty house. Followed quickly by five more smacks, and five more increasingly sluty yelps.

As I finished the impromptu spanking, I massaged the now bright red and slightly warmer flesh of her ass.

“Are you ready to be a good girl?” I asked in an even voice as I slid my hand back between her legs. Feeling her pussy was already wet I slid two fingers in with no effort at all and began a slow and steady fingering.

“As long… as you… keep going… I’ll be… whoever you want.” She said in between sharp inhales in time with my fingering.

I added a third finger and picked up pace. I was going hard enough to lift her slightly off my lap as I went deep enough that my knuckles were dripping her juices. I heard her breathing speeding up and her body was tensing in rhythm.

She suddenly screamed in pleasure and her pussy tightened on my fingers so hard I wasn’t sure if I would be able to pull them back out. As her quivering subsided a little and her breathing normalized a bit, her pussy relaxed and I pulled my fingers out. They were sticky and covered in her juices.

By this time, I was hard as a rock and my cock was begging to be released from my pants. She seemed to pick up on this and moved off my legs and got on her knees between my legs. She reached out and undid my pants then pulled them down off my legs.

While she was working on freeing my cock, I grabbed her chin and made her look up. I held out my fingers that had been buried in her snatch.

“Clean off your first toy before you enjoy your next one.”

She didn’t even hesitate, opening her mouth and starting to lick my fingers clean. She was an absolute expert with her tongue.

By now she had my pants and my boxers off leaving me naked from the waist down. My cock is six inches long and about an inch thick, so I was pleasantly shocked when she simply opened her mouth and in one smooth motion rammed her own head down until I was buried in her throat.

I felt her gag a bit and felt a flush of pride. Here was a character that was widely seen as Americas favorite dumb slut and I was making her choke. I was so full of myself at that moment that I just put my hands behind my head and enjoyed her ministrations.

Her oral skills were impressive. She had a perfect rhythm and knew how to work her tongue around the shaft. Her throat had so much suction I felt like she could have sucked me inside out if she tried hard enough.

She was incredible and clearly had a lot of practice. I was starting to feel my orgasm build, but I wasn’t ready to be done with her yet. I grabbed her by the hair again and pulled her head up off of my cock. She looked disappointed to stop blowing me. I looked into her eyes as a little drool leaked over her lips and down her chin.

“Strip.” My command left no room for argument.

I stood up and pulled off my own shirt as she stood up and worked her skirt over her hips and down her legs. She stepped out of her skirt then pulled her top off of her head freeing her magnificent tits.

As soon as she had tossed her shirt to the side my hands were all over her. I was squeezing her ass and sucking on her nipples. I bit down slightly on one and heard a sharp intake of breath as her hand reached down and started jerking me off.

“Please.” She moaned in my ear. “Please, use me.”

Who could turn down such a sweet offer? I looked her in the eyes and slapped her tits one after another.

“Yes.” She squeaked. She really seemed to enjoy pain spicing up her pleasure.

I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her back down onto her knees in front of me. I grabbed her head with one hand and my cock with the other. She just opened her mouth as I began to fuck her mouth and throat at my own pace.

The spit began sloshing over her chin again and dripped on her tits. The sloshing sound was insanely erotic. I was starting to feel the build up again, but I would not be denied my ultimate prize. I slammed my cock deep into the back of her throat and held her head there for a few seconds until I felt her start to tense and I pulled out so she could gulp down some air.

I used her hair like a leash and walked her on all fours over to the kitchen table. I let her get to her feet and kissed her deeply while slowly spinning her around. I broke the kiss and bent her over the table tits down.

Squatting down behind her I marveled at how amazing her pussy looked just before I shoved my face into her snatch and started eating her out. My tongue went to work on her clit with me stopping my licking every so often to nibble on it. I also made sure to slip in two fingers just to make sure she was lubed up for what was coming next.

Namely me.

I stood up behind her suddenly and as she was turning her head, a protest half formed on her lips, I guided my cock head to her silky folds and began to slide it up and down her wet slit. As I slipped into her waiting hole, we both moaned in unison.

I had basically been edging this entire time, so I knew I wasn’t going to last long so I decided to just go for broke and get my rocks off. I was holding her against the table by her hair and every few pumps would deliver a vicious slap to the ass.

We were both moaning and panting as I fucked her for all I was worth. I was pounding harder and harder with deeper and deeper pushes. Building up my orgasm like water behind a dam.

“Beg me.” I hissed in her ear as I bit her earlobe. I was bent over her and using my position for extra leverage.

“Beg for what?” She asked with a genuine ditsy confusion.

“Beg for me to cum in that tight hot cunt of yours.”

“But won’t I get pregnant?”

“Even if you do wouldn’t it just be your ticket out of this life?” I lied.

I didn’t stop thrusting while I waited for her to beg me to cum. I was groping her magnificent tits and just plowing away as hard as I could. Then I heard the only thing I needed to push me over the edge.

“Please cum in me. Fill me.” She whispered almost breathlessly.

That was all I needed. I worked my arms under her and grabbed her shoulders for more leverage. I started making brutal thrusts into her pulling her body back onto my cock as I pushed forward.

I felt myself bottoming out in her as my balls began to tighten. With one hard final stroke I unleashed a hot torrent of cum deep into her womb. I felt her quiver and cum as she was filled with my seed.

I pulled out of her and stood back as she stayed bent over the table with my cum leaking from her. I gave her ass one final slap and made my way over to my clothes. Kelly seemed to be in no rush to move.

I dressed and took one final look at where I was and what I had done. I smiled wide as I pulled the remote from my pocket. I pushed the red button again and I was instantly back in the store’s backroom. The older man hadn’t moved, and he looked at me knowingly.

“You sir, have made a sale.”

As I left his store with my vintage threads and my new favorite toy, I was already forming lists in my head of movies and TV shows I would be using this with. The possibilities were endless.



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