Reviews for She Had the WorldBy : justsammich |
That was touching. Not necessarily in either a good or bad way. After all, it's frightening that she can do such a thing - willingly - to him, especially considering he is her brother. But it is also poignant that you chose to explore his thoughts of Dean throughout, and his bitterness at her for stealing his virginity from him, for taking the precious gift that he had imagined - perhaps not hoped, but at least visualized - sharing with the other man.
The best piece of criticism I can give you is to give it a read through - there are a few things here and there that spell-check didn't catch for you. Also, you might consider different diction in some places (nauseated instead of nauseous) and also in this sentence:
"But Castiel had never hoped to experience such things"
Perhaps not "hoped" but "thought" ? After all, he's not exactly a consenting party.
Overall, though, I found this an interesting scene. You have it listed as a WIP - did you plan to continue it with Dean and Casitel's reaction to him now that this has happened? Or did you plan to continue exploring Castiel's relationship with Anna after this experience?
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