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Stranger In A Strange Land	By : Scribe Category: S through Z > Xena Views: 2721 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Xena, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
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Stranger In A Strange Land

Part Ten
I
glared at Jett. "You're Greek, right?"
He
smiled. "All of me, baby."
I
smacked his face. "Then where the hell did the Roman hands come
from?"
He
rubbed his cheek, still smiling, "Oo, you've got spunk."
"Oh,
crap!" I put Joxer between his brother and me as we walked out of the
temple. "This is ridiculous. Where the heck were all you horny guys back
when I was young and stupid and in high school?"
"Jett,"
Joxer frowned at him. "Leave her alone. Besides, maybe Goddess of Smut
isn't a big godhood, but she could still... um, could still..."
I
peeked out from behind him, "I can write erotica where you're hung like a
hamster and have the staying power of a mayfly."
Jett
shrugged. "Then I'll just have to try real hard to prove them
wrong, won't I?"
"Damn!"
I swore, "A man who's not insecure about his sexuality! Why do I have to
run up across the mutants all the time? Just back off." He took one tiny
step back and wiggled his eyebrows at me. "More. You've got long
arms."
Jayce
slapped Jett on the shoulder. "Yett leave Gahdess Scribe alone, eh? For
hwunce in chur life, try to be a yentleman." He turned a charming smile on
me, then offered me his arm. "If I may?"
I
blinked. "Well, no one's done that for me except that time I was
bridesmaid and I walked back down the aisle with one of the ushers. Now I don't
even have to wear candy colored taffeta." I tucked my hand in his elbow as
we continued out of Cupid's temple. Behind us I could hear Jett muttering about
'no fair, isn't like he'll actually make any use of the opportunity'.
We
went over to the second pink temple. As we got inside, something swooped down
on us from near the ceiling. I flinched, throwing my arms over my head.
"The last thing I need is bird poop in my hair!"
"Hey!
I'se potty trained!" a small, high-pitched voice declared.
I
opened my eyes to find an adorable little blond boy, about four or five years
old, hovering at about eye level with me. Yes, that's right--hovering. Frankly,
I would have thought that he'd have to flap those pretty white wings as fast as
a hummingbird to achieve it, but I suppose that the laws of physics don't apply
to gods the same way they do to mortals.
He
had big blue eyes, and his blonde hair was a tumble of curls. All he was
wearing, besides a puzzled look, was a pair of loose linen shorts. Yeah, well,
I guess T-shirts would kind of be out of the question. He was cocking his head
at us, and he said, "Howcome there three Joxies?"
Joxer
stepped forward and gently plucked the little boy out of the air. The kid
didn't seem to mind. He put his arms around Joxer's neck in a familiar,
companionable way. "Bliss, you've heard me talk about my brothers. This it
Jett, and this is Jayce." o:p>
Bliss
giggled at them, then pointed at me. "Who her?"
"That's
Scribe. She's goddess of... uh..." He started blushing.
"I'm
Goddess of Nursery Rhymes and Stories," I informed him. They all stared at
me. "I can so, do it!" I cleared my throat. "Hickory, dickory,
dock. The mouse ran up the clock."
"What's
a clock?" asked Bliss. The three men nodded.
"Ohh-kay.
Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John. Went to bed with his stockings
on..."
Jayce
put a hand on his hip. "Oh, I theenk I know heem! He never takes
off hees makeup, either."
I
rubbed my face. "I had a little nut tree, nothing would it bear, but a
silver nutmeg, and a golden pear..."
Bliss
clapped his hands. "Likea gold apple, huh?" He frowned, and shook his
finger at me. "Youse not 'sposed to have 'em. They not for mortals 'less
Zoos say so."
"No,
hon, a golden pear," I tried to explain, "And a silver
nutmeg..."
Jett
folded his arms, scratching his chin. "Precious metal nuts and fruits
growing together on the same tree? Sounds like something only Gaia would
have." He gave me a conspiratorial grin. "You been sneaking in where
you shouldn't? Maybe hanging out with Autolycus?"
"I
give up. Once upon a time there was an evil queen..." Joxer slapped a hand
over my mouth. I jerked it down. "What now?"
You
can find family resemblences in the most interesting ways.
I
don't know how long we were in there. No clocks, dontcha know. I've never been
good at estimating time, even when I'm not distracted. And no more
details, except to remark that the boys had a wonderfully developed sense of
co-operation and teamwork. smirk
Later
we located a bathing room down the hall. You know, they had some BIG ass baths
back then. Sort of like hot tubs, without the jacuzzi jets. Anway, we were all
cuddled together in one, with bubbles, when Dite came in and squealed. "I wondered
where that massive energy wave was coming from! Oh, way to go,
sister!"
I
blushed and slid under the water. Jett hauled me back up. "No point in
getting all shy about it now."
Cupid
came in, "Ma, do you know anything about that energy burst I got a little
while ago? I'd be bouncing off the walls if I hadn't been with Strife. As it
is, he's going to be stiff for a while." He skidded to a halt when he saw
us. He blinked. "This is the woman who nearly died of embarrassment
when she saw me and Strife wrestling naked?"
"Things
change."
"Where are my future consorts?"
It
was impossible to mistake that bellow. I went underwater again. I tried to stay
down, figuring that drowning might be less painful than facing Ares, but the
triplets managed to haul me up. I was clutched in their arms, spluttering and
dripping, when Ares stormed in.
He
stopped dead when he saw us. He walked slowly to edg edge of the tub and stared
down. I could see his head move slightly as he visually counted who was in the
tub. One eyebrow climbed slowly. Finally he said, "Is it safe to assume
that you're not a virgin anymore?"
I
took a breath and sat up. I glanced around at Joxer, Jayce, and Jett.
"It's safe to say that I'm not any kind of a virgin anymore." blink
"If you know what I mean." Jett smirked. I splashed him. "So,
you'll send me back now that I'm not pristine any more, right? Why are you
shaking your head?"
"If
you'll search your memory, you'll realize that I sought you out and brought you
to Greece long before ew aew about your maiden state." He shrugged.
"I don't see any reason for this to make a difference."
I
sighed. "Who does a girl have to screw to get off this mountain?"
- 9
- 10
- 11
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Stranger In A Strange Land