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If You Want To Play Games, Okay...But I'll Win	By : WW2_Lover Category: G through L > Hogan's Heroes Views: 1043 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own ANY of these characters, ANY part of this series, or make ANY money from Hogan's Heroes. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. Any words with a * in front of them are lines directly from the show.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
Any words with a * in front of them are lines directly from the show.
Kommandant = Commander
Luftwaffe = The German name for their Air Force
Guten abend = Good evening
Frau = Mrs.
Herr = Mister
Mein Gott = My God
Danke = Thank you
Kommandanten = Commanders

Preparations…
After their plane had landed, the two generals had proceeded to rent a car and gotten a hotel room. Not particularly wanting to be trapped in a long conversation with his mom, Hogan had called her long enough to ask if she wanted to meet him and Klink tonight for dinner. After she’d said yes, he’d set his prerequisite of meeting at least three towns over. While she thought he was silly, Mrs. Hogan had agreed to that condition. Then he’d told her they both needed some sleep and hung up.
Both officers had gotten some much-needed rest, and then they’d each showered so that they would smell good. When Klink had walked back into the room clad in only a towel, Hogan had blushed and looked away. And when the tall German had come into the bathroom ten minutes later to grab the cologne he’d forgotten, he’d seen his troublemaker in only a towel after his shower. Stammering an excuse, the older man and spun on his heel and exited the room. In the end, the younger general had brought out the cologne his friend had forgotten to grab to him.
After that, they had gotten dressed in civilian dress clothes, as so not to draw unwanted attention to themselves. Then they’d driven to the restaurant that Hogan’s mother had chosen. While it wasn’t as hot as it would be by mid-July or so, the beginning of June brought warmer weather then Klink was used to in his country. That being said, he and his brat had rolled down the windows on the drive over so the air wouldn’t get stuffy. The German general didn’t have much hair to worry about messing up, but his troublemaker was another matter entirely.
The American’s black hair was a mess after the drive, so the older man had instructed him to comb it. “Or else I will do it for you,” Klink had threatened. After grumbling that it didn’t matter that much, his former senior POW officer had finally done what he was told. Now they were sitting inside the restaurant and talking while they waited for Hogan’s parents.
“How long do you think it will take your parents to arrive, Rob?” asked Klink as they sat in the restaurant. The place was completely empty except for them, as only the wealthy could afford to eat there during to the war. But the owner was an old friend of Hogan’s parents, and so he’d agreed to cook for them tonight.
“I have no idea, Wilhelm. This place is three towns over from where they live, so I guess it just depends on if there’s traffic or not,” Hogan replied.
“Well, whose fault is that? You are the one who insisted on something so far from their home,” Klink pointed out. “Which I still say was completely unnecessary. Your mother cannot possibly be as bad as you say, Rob.”
“Says you,” Hogan grumbled. “Wait until you meet her. There’s no way I was going anywhere near my hometown to do anything. Speaking of which, I need to give my thirty-day notice to my landlord back in Stoneybrook. There’s no reason I should be paying rent on an apartment I’m no longer going to live in, after all. I just have to find a new place first.”
“Yes, that might be a good idea. Why burn one bridge before you have built another one?” Klink asked as he shook his head. “And stop doing that! You will ruin the shirt, and then you will have to get a new one. But maybe that is what you want, an excuse to go shopping. I know how much you enjoyed our last trip to that department store in London,” he teased.
“I still say that was inhumane what you did to me. Who takes three hours to go clothes shopping?” Hogan said testily, yanking at the collar of his dress shirt for the third time since they’d arrived five minutes ago.
With a smirk, Klink said, “I do, for one. And I did warn you beforehand that I was very picky. Besides, it was a punishment for withholding important information from me. I would have drug it out even longer, but you appeared ready to have a nervous breakdown after those three hours. So I took pity on you instead, which you should be grateful for.”
Hogan made a disgusted face as he spoke. “You had me try on literally everything there in my size, and that place was huge! That’s not a punishment, Wilhelm. That’s just downright evil. And if that was the punishment, then why did I have to wear these horrid things today?”
Rolling his eyes, the German general said, “Once again, you are being a drama queen, Rob. Besides, why would you buy clothes and then not wear them? I think you look very nice,” he added.
While the tall German wore the same dress clothes he’d worn back at Stalag 13 after they’d done laundry, Hogan’s were brand new and still slightly stiff. His former senior POW officer wore an emerald green dress shirt, black dress slacks, and black dress shoes. The tie he wore was a silver color, which set everything else off. They also made his black hair and brown eyes look even darker than they actually were. But he wasn’t happy about it at all, and he’d bitched about having to wear them almost constantly since they’d left the hotel.
“To answer your question, this is your punishment for not telling me about what Schultz knew before he did. You led me to believe that you had told me everything already, and I abhor a liar,” the former Kommandant remarked. “Now stop doing that!” he said as he slapped his troublemaker’s hand away from his shirt.
“I can’t help it! These stupid things are driving me nuts, and the fact that you made me wear them at all is cruel and unusual punishment. And you even made me comb my hair where we got out of the car too. Seriously, do you think I’m a little kid or something?” the American general griped.
Raising his eyebrows, the German officer asked, “Do you really want the answer to that, Rob?”
“No,” Hogan huffed irritably, peeved that he felt obliged to listen to his self-appointed disciplinarian. Changing the subject, he asked, “Did you bring the gift with you?”
“Of course I did. I made sure it was securely in my pocket, along with my wallet,” Klink replied. “I still find it hard to believe that they offered to pay for our meal. That was very generous of them.”
“Yeah well, they’re well-off. They don’t usually act like it, but they are. And like you’ve said before, they haven’t seen me in a few years. I’m sure they just want to catch up and all, learn what’s new in my life,” Hogan replied.
He stiffened in his chair as something occurred to him. “You’re not going to bring up our arrangement, are you? I’m not sure if my dad knows or not. If he doesn’t, I’d like to keep it that way.”
With a shake of his head, the older man said, “As long as they do not bring it up first, I will say nothing about it. But if one of them asks me a question about the arrangement, I will answer it honestly. However, your mother did inform me that she was going to tell your father about everything after our phone call that day. Now whether she ended up doing so or not, I do not know.”
The younger man let out a groan and buried his face in his hands. “Fucking magical. Just what I always wanted, for my dad to think I’m some pushover. Great, just great.”
“Watch your mouth, Rob,” Klink admonished him. “Do you want your parents to think you learned nothing from your three years studying abroad over in Germany?”
Giving the tall German a glare, Hogan replied, “Studying abroad? Is that what you’re calling it now?”
With a shrug, Klink said, “I think it was a great cultural opportunity for you. You had the chance to be completely immersed in a different culture than your own, and to speak a foreign language quite often. You got to see a different country as well, and you fine-tuned the art of manipulating different people to boot. So yes, studying abroad.”
“Are you kidding me? The only place I got to see was the inside of Stalag 13,” his former senior POW officer snapped. “And most of the people I dealt with spoke English.” He couldn’t believe the strange spin that the older officer was putting on this.
“Oh, do not start that nonsense with me. You and I both know you probably saw more of the nearby towns in the last three years than I have,” Klink pointed out. “Certainly, you saw more of Paris than I did. I seem to have been confined to a jail cell for most of my first trip there,” he added with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, and we already resolved that problem too. Believe me, I remember the end result very well,” Hogan shot back as he blushed. “But you make it sound like I was on vacation or something.”
“I suppose we could call it ‘an impromptu trip overseas instead’, if you like,” responded the former Kommandant with a knowing grin.
“No! I…” Hogan trailed off as he saw his friend’s expression change. “Ugh, you were just messing with me this whole time?”
“My word, it certainly took you long enough to figure that out, Rob,” said Klink playfully. “Usually, you are far quicker on the sketch.”
“It’s ‘draw’, not ‘sketch’,” said Hogan in an amused tone of voice. “I think it’s funny how you mix up American idioms sometimes. You’re so adorable when you do that, you know,” Hogan replied just as playfully. And he really did. While his friend spoke English fluently, sometimes he messed up certain phrases in the most interesting ways.
“I am not ‘adorable’ in any way, Rob,” Klink said haughtily, managing not to blush at that innocent statement. “I am dignified. There is a big difference.”
“Uh-huh, suuuuure. Whatever you say, Wilhelm,” Hogan teased.
Ignoring that comeback in favor of not starting a fight, Klink changed the subject. “I hope your parents like me. If you sense they are feeling uncomfortable in any way, just let me know somehow. Then I will make my excuses and wait for you in the car.”
He hoped that wouldn’t be the case, but at the same time he knew not everyone would be as welcoming to him as his troublemaker. The older man was no fool, and he realized that many people would dislike him simply because of his heritage.
“If they feel uncomfortable, we'll both be leaving,” Hogan growled. “I told you before, I’m not gonna let anyone make you feel bad just because they can’t overcome a few prejudices. I was a prisoner of war in a camp that you ran, for cripes’ sake. If anything, I’m the one who’s got a right to be prejudiced towards you. But if I can see past the uniform to the decent human being underneath, then nobody else has any excuse not to do the same thing. Like it or lump it, that’s just the way it is,” he finished.
“You seem very dead set on that idea. Stubborn much, Rob?” Klink asked with a smile as he stood up. He appreciated how passionate his brat was in that regard, but he also knew it wasn’t the most practical approach.
“You know it,” said the American officer with a wink. “Why are you standing up? If you’re wondering where the bathrooms are, they’re behind you,” he added. His chair was to the back of the restaurant’s entrance, so he couldn’t see what his friend was seeing.
“Ah…no. That is not the case,” the German said with amusement. “But it is generally good manners to rise when a lady approaches the area in which you are sitting. I am guessing that lady in question is your mother, because the gentleman with her looks like an older version of you, little brat.”
The unknown couple was almost to their table by now, but the younger man was still seated since he hadn’t gotten the hint. Then Klink hissed, “Stand up so you do not come across as rude!”
“A lady…oh!” replied Hogan before he jumped to his feet. “Shit, why didn’t you say it was my parents?”
“I did, albeit in a roundabout way. And watch your language, Rob,” the tall German said. Then he stepped back out of the way so that the elder Hogans could greet their son.

A somewhat joyful reunion…
“Son, it’s good to see you again!” John Hogan exclaimed as he gave the American general a half hug and a clap on the back. He looked like an older version of his son, with the same black hair and brown eyes. Except for the silver streaks in his hair and the age difference, the two men could’ve been brothers instead.
Then he gave the older man with Hogan a curious look, having heard him telling his son to watch his mouth. The statement indicated that they were on friendly terms to him, which was a bit strange given the situation and where his wife had told him the two had met. Technically, this whole situation was strange anyway.
“Yes, it is. We’ve missed so much, Robbie!” Emma Hogan added. She wrapped her son in a hug and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Unlike her son and husband, she had pure, snow white hair that had once been blonde. She also had bottle green eyes, and the same mischief sparkled in them that Klink sometimes saw in his brat’s eyes.
Hearing the nickname, the German officer merely snickered quietly. Robbie. Oh, that is just too good, he thought.
“Mom!” Hogan groaned as he wiped the lipstick off of his face.
“What? After three years, I’m not allowed to give my son a kiss on the cheek?” she asked. “Is this the friend you told us about, Robbie?”
Having heard the snickering, the younger general shot the tall German a glare. And it only deepened when Klink gave him a perfectly innocent look in return. “Mom, Dad…this is my friend, Wilhelm Klink. General Wilhelm Klink of the Luftwaffe, I should say,” he clarified.
Then he turned to his friend and added, “Wilhelm, these are my parents…John and Emma Hogan.”
Nodding his thanks for the introduction, the former Kommandant gave Hogan’s mom a half bow from the waist. “Hello, and guten abend…er, I mean, good evening. A pleasure to meet you, Frau Hogan,” he said politely. He was far too used to his former senior POW officer’s understanding of his native tongue to remember that he needed to use an English greeting at first.
Then he turned to Hogan’s dad and repeated the same bow. “Hello, and good evening to you as well, Herr Hogan. It is a pleasure to meet you also.”
Emma grinned, and her lopsided smile was shown to be identical to her son’s. “Oh my. You have impeccable manners, General Klink,” she said as she shook his hand.
“I have to agree with my wife, General. But if it’s all the same to you, we’re not that formal here,” John added as he shook the older man’s hand.
“Er, well, then please call me Wilhelm. Both of you,” Klink finally said. “I was not certain how much I would be…Rob, stop that!” he snapped as he noticed his friend yanking at his dress shirt yet again.
“Ahem. I do apologize for my rudeness, Herr Hogan. But Rob has been yanking at his dress shirt since he put it on, and I fear he is going to rip it,” Klink hastened to explain. “As I was saying, I was not certain how much I would be welcome at this gathering,” he added.
As Emma chuckled in the background, Mr. Hogan spoke to the tall German. “I can do that, so long as you call me John. And Robbie insisted on the phone that you were a good friend, so you’re plenty welcome here. As a matter of fact, he wouldn’t agree to meet us unless you were welcome to come too,” he said. “Now, let’s all sit down and order some food. Jake makes the best food around, and I’m starved.”
“I have to admit John’s right, Wilhelm. This place serves a little of everything, but Jake can do it all,” Mrs. Hogan chimed in as she took her seat. “And call me Emma, please.”
“Really? I was not aware of that fact,” Klink said slowly as he gave his friend a questioning look. “ I must have not been in the room to hear it. I do apologize for that ultimatum.”
“Knock it off, Wilhelm,” Hogan said irritably, growing tired of his friend feeling insecure about his place in the American’s life. “I’ve told you before, you’re stuck with me.”
“Yes, you have told me that before,” the German general said with a sigh. “You have a mulish streak a mile wide.”
“And don’t you forget it!” his former senior POW officer said cheerfully. Then he scowled again as he messed with his shirt again, this time tugging on the sleeve.
Turning to her son, Emma said, “Wipe that look off your face, Robbie. I think you look very nice, though I’m wondering what miracle it took to get you to willingly dress up.”
“You’re sitting next to the miracle,” Hogan said sulkily. “Wilhelm said I needed to look nice for the occasion, since I haven’t seen you guys in three years. As you already know, I’d much prefer to be wearing some jeans and a t-shirt. He even made me comb my hair after the drive. It was only a little messy, but you’d have thought I had complete bedhead,” he finished in an unhappy tone of voice.
“A little messy? Robert, you looked as if you had stuck your hair in a blender,” Klink deadpanned, earning himself a dirty look. “One does not dress up nicely and then walk around looking disheveled. It is a matter of aesthetic,” he explained.
“You got my son to dress up willingly?” John asked with a stunned expression. “Do you have any idea how many times we had to threaten him with death and dismemberment before he’d cooperate with us on regarding that topic?”
“Once again, I agree with you, John,” said Mrs. Hogan. “Wilhelm, how did you accomplish that feat?”
But before the older man could answer, Hogan’s parents shared a look. All was quiet for a minute or two, until his mom said slowly, “Wait a minute. Klink…I’ve heard that name before. I thought at first you were just another friend of Robbie’s, but I knew it was familiar to me for some reason.”
She looked at the German officer, who appeared to be slightly confused by that statement. “By chance, did you run a prisoner of war camp in Germany that you called me from? Stalag something?”
Nodding, Klink replied, “Stalag 13, yes. I was its Kommandant, or commander,” he said carefully. “That is where Rob and I first met.”
Emma snapped her fingers. “Of course, I remember now! That was the strangest phone call I’ve ever gotten, but I was still glad to get the news that my son was alive and well. Well, maybe not as well as he would’ve liked,” she said with a laugh.
Then the German general shared a glance of his own with his troublemaker. His look asked an unspoken question, and Hogan shook his head quickly.
Looking back at the elder Hogans, the tall German said diplomatically, “In answer to your question, Emma…let us just say that Rob and I have an understanding. That is all I can say at this time. It is not my place to reveal any more than that.”
Yet it was then that Mrs. Hogan addressed the silent elephant in the room. “Translation: you spank him when he doesn’t listen to you. In turn, you get him to actually behave like an adult for a change.”
She turned to her husband and said, “Remember, John? This is the man I told you about. He’s managed to teach our Robbie to be respectful at last, after all these years of him doing the exact opposite.”
“Mom!” the American officer groaned as he blushed and slunk down in his chair. “Why would you even say that out loud? It’s so embarrassing.”
He gave Klink another dirty look, who only shrugged in response. “I said nothing about it first, Robert. Your mother asked me a question, and I answered it. Do not blame me for this.”
John opened his mouth to join in the conversation, but a waiter came by and handed them their menus before he could. He also brought them all a glass of water before he left again.
Changing the subject, the older general asked his former senior POW officer, “So…what type of food is good here, Rob?”
Sitting up straight again, Hogan gave his friend a grateful glance for the subject change before he said, “All of it, really. It just depends on what you like.”
Klink considered that before he responded, “But I do not know what I like or do not like. I have never had American cuisine at all, except for the French toast and the tacos you made back at the camp,” he stated.
“Wait, hold on just a minute,” John said, getting distracted from what he’d been going to previously say. “You made French toast, Robbie? And tacos too?”
“That’s what I’m wondering as well,” Emma chimed in. She gave the former Kommandant a glance as she added, “Wilhelm, are you sure that it wasn’t something his French friend made instead? LeBeau, I think his name was?”
“Quite sure, madam. Corporal LeBeau had already departed the camp, along with everyone else. Well, Second Lieutenant LeBeau now, I suppose. Nevertheless, it was only Robert and myself left at Stalag 13. And I watched him make the food anyhow,” Klink said proudly, pleased at the pleasant shock that this news seemed to bring his troublemaker’s parents.
“Since when do you cook, Robbie? You’re about as useless as I am in the kitchen,” John pointed out.
“Hey, it was a matter of life or death. Literally, because we were the only ones there to cook anything. And there were no restaurants open anymore, nor did we have any money to buy anything even if there had been. So we had to figure it out,” Hogan said indignantly.
“True, but a life or death situation doesn’t magically give you a needed skill, Robbie,” Mrs. Hogan said. “What I want to know is where you learned to cook at all.”
“Mom, please give me a little bit of credit here. You’ve had me peel enough potatoes and chop plenty of onions for you whenever you would prepare meals for all of us. I’ve watched you a few times, and I can do basic stuff,” the American general replied as he turned to Klink. “Figure out what you want yet, Wilhelm?”
“I think so,” his friend replied. He’d been pouring over the menu while his friend talked with his mother. “I have heard other Americans say hamburgers are good. But surely they do not import the meat all the way from Germany. Do they?” he asked Hogan.
“Um…what? Where did that come from?” asked Mr. Hogan in confusion. “Hamburger is meat from a cow. What’s Germany got to do with it?”
“Dad, there’s a town in Germany called Hamburg, which is why Wilhelm was confused. He thought the meat was shipped from there. What you just heard is part of the language barrier that happens sometimes,” Hogan explained before he turned back to Klink and answered the question. “No, silly. It’s made in America, I promise. Is that what you want?”
“I…I think so,” Klink replied uncertainly. “Does rare, medium-rare, medium-well and well done mean the same things that they do for a steak? Or am I misunderstanding something again?”
“Nope, the terms are the same,” the younger officer told him with a smile. “How do you want your burger cooked?”
“Medium-well, please,” Klink said politely.
“Gotcha. And what do you want on it?” Hogan asked his friend.
“Er…whatever you think would be best,” said the tall German with a shrug. “I am not familiar with how one should taste, so I will bow to your experience in this matter.”
“But it’s your food, not mine. What if I tell them to put something on it that you don’t like?” his former senior POW officer inquired curiously.
“You have never steered me wrong yet, Rob. I trust you with my life, so surely trusting you to handle my food is not that big of an issue,” Klink remarked.
“Okay…wait, you trust me with your life? Since when?” Hogan repeated in amazement.
With a smirk, the older man said, “Indeed, and since the very first time you smoothed over a bad situation with myself and General Burkhalter. For most of the time I have known you, however, it was only somewhat knowingly. But now I am fully aware of what I am doing in that regard, and my views have not changed at all,” Klink stated firmly.
“Somewhat knowingly?” Hogan repeated, wondering what that was supposed to mean. “I thought you said that you didn’t know anything about what we were really doing all this time!”
“I did not,” Klink replied smoothly. “But you cannot deny that every time I needed your silver tongue to save my hide, you were able to make sure everything worked out in the end. Despite being a troublemaker at times, you are a decent and honorable man, Robert.”
“A troublemaker?” repeated Emma, who had been listening to their conversation with interest. It was even more obvious to her now that her son and the tall German were good friends.
“What kind of nickname is that?” John questioned curiously.
“An accurate one, believe me,” Klink said as their waiter arrived, saving him from a further explanation.
Then he fell silent and sipped his water while his brat ordered for both of them. Hogan had decided to get a hamburger as well, so they got the same exact thing. Surprisingly, they liked their meat cooked the same way.
Hogan’s dad had decided to get the lobster and clam chowder combo, since his wife flat-out refused to cook or buy seafood for him. She hated both the smell and the taste of it, so he was reduced to eating it whenever they went out to eat if he so desired.
After much debate, Hogan’s mom finally ordered the taquito and cheesy rice plate. The options for it were all beef taquitos, all chicken taquitos, or three of each. She wanted a little of each, so she got the mix ‘n match one.

Things go south…
After the waiter had left with both their order requests and the menus, Klink snapped his slender fingers. “Oh, I almost forgot!”
Then he dug out his wallet and pulled out the polar bear earrings. Handing them to Mrs. Hogan, he said, “These are for you, Emma.”
“Ohhh, these are so beautiful! Thank you, Wilhelm. How very thoughtful of you,” Emma said as she patted him on the hand. “I’ll give you a hug and a kiss on the cheek for these before we leave.”
The earrings were made of sterling silver and shaped like a polar bear. The polar bear itself was finely detailed, and its eyes were two pieces of black onyx gemstone.
“You are very welcome, madam. Rob helped me pick these out for you. I asked him what you might like, and he said polar bears, so…” Klink trailed off and looked over at Mr. Hogan instead.
Then the German general said hesitantly, "As I am aware of how giving Emma jewelry may look to you, I thought I would say this up front. I am not trying to declare any sort of romantic intentions toward your wife, John. I would have brought something for you as well, but neither Rob nor I could figure out what you might enjoy. And my mother taught me that you always bring a gift when you visit someone, because it is good manners to do so."
Klink shrugged and added, "If you like, I can...oh, I do not know. Perhaps I can cook you one of your favorite meals sometime instead. I know it is hardly an adequate gift, but –”
"It's fine, Wilhelm. I get what you’re saying. Don't worry about it." John gave the older man a curious look, wondering if that was a common misunderstanding in Germany.
"But that sounds like a plan to me. You know how to cook too?" he asked in surprise. “Most guys would burn water if they tried to boil it.”
“I can make some things, yes,” the former Kommandant said equivocally. “As long as you are not one for gourmet foods or something terribly complicated, I am sure I can reasonably manage.”
With a laugh, Hogan’s dad replied, “Well, that depends on how complicated you think chili dogs and chili cheese fries are to make.”
“Chili dogs?” Klink repeated in a puzzled tone, not knowing what that was. “That is what it sounds like, yes? Chili poured over a…a hot dog?” he questioned, making sure he had that right.
“You got it. And chili cheese fries are French fries with chili poured over them and topped with cheese,” John confirmed with a grin.
Looking baffled at the strange foods Americans could come up with, Klink nodded his head. “As long as I have a recipe to follow, I can manage that the next time we meet,” he decided.
“Good. Then it’s settled,” Mr. Hogan replied with a smile.
Then he focused his gaze on his son and asked curiously, “So, Robbie. Anything you might have done before you left the States notwithstanding, how did you earn the nickname ‘troublemaker’?”
Hogan gave his friend yet another dirty look as he reluctantly answered his dad’s question. “I may have caused a few problems in Wilhelm’s camp –”
“Merely a few? Try a few hundred,” the older officer muttered.
“– but other than that, I don’t know what he’s talking about. I’ve been a perfect angel,” Hogan finished, ignoring the interruption.
The sheer nerve it took to utter that falsehood had Klink rolling his eyes. “Rob, it is not good to tell lies. Especially when one is talking to one’s parents,” he said reasonably.
“Wilhelm?” Hogan asked his friend sweetly, uncaring of where this might lead at the moment.
“Yes, Robert?” Klink replied just as sweetly, wondering what he was going to say now.
“Shut up. I don’t need your assistance right now,” the American general said heatedly.
“Robbie!” gasped his mother. “Where are your manners? I raised you better than that!”
Then she looked over at Klink, who had merely raised his eyebrows at the show of disrespect. “Wilhelm, I can see now why you’ve had to spank him so much if this is how my son talks to you,” she said, giving said son a warning glare.
“Mom! Be quiet and quit embarrassing me,” Hogan griped, turning red as he slumped down in his chair again.
“Don’t talk to your mother like that, son. You were the one who was rude first,” his dad pointed out. “I’m of the opinion now that we should have corrected you in that way to begin with. Frankly, the people at our church agree.”
“What? You told the people at your church?!” Hogan gasped as a nervous look appeared on his face. “Please tell me you didn’t tell Mrs. Merriweather, at least.”
John looked amused now as he spoke. “Mrs. Merriweather is a good friend of ours, Robbie. She’s the first person your mother told. Needless to say, you’ve been a prime example of ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’ for the last few weeks.”
Groaning, Hogan blushed a dark red as he covered his face with his hands. Still, his words were heard quite clearly. “Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with you guys?”
By this point, Klink had had enough of his brat’s disrespectful attitude. “Robert, I need to speak to you alone for a few minutes. Come with me, please.”
Then he looked at both of Hogan’s parents in turn. “Please excuse us momentarily,” he added politely. Klink remembered what manners were, even if his former senior POW officer didn’t!
The younger officer uncovered his face with his hands and shot back, “Well, I don’t want to – hey!” he exclaimed in surprise as he was yanked out of his seat. Then he was frog marched far enough away where his parents couldn’t hear their conversation.

The warning…
“Robert, have you lost your mind?” Klink hissed once they were far enough away from the table. “You are being a pain in the butt, even more so than usual. What is wrong with you today?”
Hogan gave him a withering glare as he yanked his arm free of Klink’s grip. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? You yanked me out of my chair and dragged me over here like I’m five years old!”
His friend returned the glare as he responded, “You are acting as if you are five years old! You were rude to me first, all because I pointed out that you have been anything but an angel when you tried to claim otherwise. Then when your mother called you out on it, you were rude to her as well. Your father merely made a valid point about discipline, and he also informed you what had been said about you at their church. So why would you speak to him in such a manner?” Klink demanded hotly.
“In what type of manner?” Hogan shot back. “You heard him yourself. I’ve been the main topic at their church for weeks! And Mrs. Merriweather is the second biggest gossip in town, which means anyone my mom didn’t already tell about this whole thing, she did!” He was mortified beyond belief right now at the way things were going.
“That may be, but that does not excuse your actions, Robert. Mein Gott, you swore at your own father! You said, and I quote, ‘what the f is wrong with you guys?’ Only you used the full curse word,” the tall German said in exasperation.
“What part of ‘I’ve been the main topic at their church for weeks’ didn’t you get, Wilhelm? I feel so humiliated right now,” his former senior POW officer whined.
“I am sorry about that, but I have warned you before to think before you speak. I have warned you so many times about that, it should be your new mantra, Robert,” Klink replied wearily.
“Now, we are going to stand here for a few minutes until you can compose yourself and remember your manners. And then we are going to rejoin your parents at the table. At that point, you will apologize to each of them individually for being so rude. Understand?” the older man asked his friend.
“You’re crazy! I’m not doing any such thing,” the American general said haughtily.
“Oh, yes you are,” said Klink. “Your parents will most likely ask me questions about what has been happening at Stalag 13, which is to be expected. If they do, I will be answering them. I also understand you will be embarrassed about the topic at hand, but you brought this whole thing on yourself,” he pointed out.
“Should they ask you a question, I will attempt to answer in your stead…unless it is something that I cannot possibly answer. But you will remain civil for the rest of this evening, not sulky or sullen in any way. Otherwise, I promise you that we will be putting on a live demonstration of how I correct your brattiness. Do I make myself clear, young man?” Klink demanded as he tried to figure out what had his friend in such a foul mood.
“No, because it’s not happening,” Hogan said stubbornly as he crossed his arms. “Forget it. You can fuck off if you think I’d let that happen. For that matter, so can they.”
Without any warning, Klink quickly reached around and gave his troublemaker two firm swats on his butt, one to each sit spot. SMACK! SMACK!
“Watch your mouth…and how about now, Robert? Has your decision changed yet?” he inquired pleasantly. Despite the tone of voice, there was an underlying warning that couldn’t be missed.
“Do keep in mind that my memory is excellent. And you should also remember that we still have not yet settled the whole matter of you failing to inform me of where my family was. Or about what Schultz knew about your extracurricular activities during the war, either. Do you really want this event added onto that punishment?” Klink asked. “I can guarantee you that it will not be pleasant as it stands right now, but it is your call if you would like to make things worse.”
His friend jumped at the unexpected smacks to his rear end. “Ow, ow! No!” he replied sullenly. He remembered the last time he’d done that. It wasn’t a road he wanted to go down again!
“No…what? No, I am not being clear? No, you will not do as you are told? Or no, you do not want this whole matter added onto your that punishment? Please clarify that for me,” Klink requested nonchalantly.
“No, I don’t want this matter added onto that punishment,” Hogan said, his tone of voice changing to a sulky one instead. Damnmit, he hated it when the former Kommandant outmaneuvered him.
“Good. Then take a few minutes to calm yourself down, and then we shall return to the table,” Klink said firmly.
“I hate you so much right now,” his friend grumbled.
“I am certain that you do for the moment,” the older man agreed. “But I am also certain that you will appreciate what I am doing down the road, when you still have a family to associate with in the future.”
“You’re always so mean to me. I don’t know why I even talk to you,” Hogan stated as he pouted.
“Because whether you want to admit it or not, you know I care about you,” Klink replied with an eye roll. Then he nudged his former senior POW officer’s shoulder playfully.
“Cheer up, Robert. Look at it this way…after tonight, you never have to see your parents again if you do not want to. I would advise against doing so, however, since family is a precious commodity. But that will be a decision you must make later on in life, not right this second,” the German officer added.
Taking a deep breath, Hogan let it out again as he remarked, “I’d be happy if I never saw them ever again. Come to think of it, starting right now would be ideal.”
Klink’s voice took on a serious tone as he gave his brat some advice. “Be careful what you wish for, or you just might get it. Once you alienate someone in such a way, they never return. I have had that happen many times in my life, and I do not want to see you walk that path if you do not need to. I am only trying to help you right now. I hope you know that, my friend.”
Letting out a heavy sigh and slumping his shoulders, the American officer responded, “Yeah, I know. I don’t like it, but I’m fully aware of it anyway.”
“I am glad to hear that answer,” the older man acknowledged with a nod. “So, are you ready to return to the table now? Without sulking, sounding sullen or being rude to anyone?”
“I guess so. Let’s just get this night over with so we can leave,” Hogan said dejectedly as he looked at his feet in shame. How in the hell did I go from being right to feeling like a heel that quickly? he wondered. Man, and I thought I was a master manipulator!
Cocking his head, Klink asked, “Do you promise? I would like us to have a nice evening, not have to spend it doing damage control instead.”
Nodding his head in resignation, the younger man replied, “Yes, I promise. I’m not happy about it, but I’ll do it.”
“That is all I ask of you. Now, please look at me for a moment, Rob,” Klink requested in a gentle tone of voice.
As Hogan looked up, he asked reluctantly, “What’s wrong now?”
“Nothing. I merely wanted to tell you that you are doing the right thing, and that I am proud of you. Even if you are a brat, you are still my brat,” said the tall German as he gave the American a half-hug.
“And I am still sitting next to you, so feel free to latch onto my hand or arm if you feel the need for some type of support to get you through this ordeal. Sometimes a mere touch works wonders to aid a person in voicing their thoughts,” Klink offered.
Despite himself, Hogan had to smile as he shook his head. “I’ll keep it in mind, but I still say you’re nuts. You do know that, right?” he inquired as they walked back toward the table.
“Perhaps I am. However, it does takes one to know one,” Klink teased his friend.
“Aw, knock it off…Ol’ Blood and Guts,” Hogan said playfully.
“Only if you do the same…Papa Bear,” Klink replied just as playfully.
Then the two officers looked at each other and grinned. Yeah, their world was definitely mixed up and backwards. But still, they wouldn’t change it for a thing. And that was what stuck in their minds as they reached the table again.

A parental discussion…
Meanwhile at the table, John looked at his wife with a puzzled look. “Should we interfere? I mean, he just marched Robbie over there like it was something they do all the time.”
“No, let’s see what happens. Maybe it is something they do all the time. I told you before how Wilhelm’s been keeping Robbie in check, right?” Emma asked her husband.
“You said something about him spanking our son once or twice, honey. That was all you told me,” Mr. Hogan responded.
“Oh, Robbie’s had it happen a lot more than once or twice from what I understand, sweetheart. And every last one was warranted, along with the appropriate implement severity. But don’t worry, I’ll ask him to tell you when they come back,” replied Mrs. Hogan, who was watching the pair have their private conversation. “In any event, I’m pretty sure Wilhelm’s got the situation under control. Just watch their body language and see.”
John turned to see what his wife was talking about. He could see the older man gesturing at random times, along with their son. While he couldn’t hear what they were saying, Robert was clearly losing the argument based off of what his body language was saying. Then they saw the German officer give the younger general two firm swats on his bottom, which caused the American to jump in surprise before slumping his shoulders shortly thereafter.
They also saw Klink nudge their son’s shoulder and say something before Robert looked at his feet. Finally, they saw the German general give the former senior POW officer a half hug. After seeing that, Mr. and Mrs. Hogan grinned at each other as the pair headed back their way, smiles on their faces.
“I think I like Wilhelm,” John decided with a nod of his head. “He’s a good counterbalance for Robbie’s impulsiveness. I mean, did you just see all the same things I just saw?”
“I agree. Just the fact that our son listens to him at all speaks volumes,” Emma replied. “And I sure did. I don’t know what Wilhelm said to him, but I know what I saw in Robbie’s body language. Those two are close friends, whether they want to admit it or not. Maybe more,” she said thoughtfully.
“What do you mean by ‘maybe more’, Emma?” Hogan’s dad asked in a puzzled voice.
“Don’t worry, John. I’ll tell you once we’re back home,” Hogan’s mom said as the two officers came back to the table with smiles on their faces.

Stiff apologies…
“I do apologize for our impromptu departure, John and Emma. But I needed to have a few words with Rob in private,” said Klink as they sat back down again. He waited for Hogan to speak, but he wasn’t saying anything so far. As a reminder, he gave his brat the evil eye.
Hogan saw the look that his friend was giving him and sighed. Remembering his promise not to be sulky, he took a deep breath and let it out before he cleared his throat. “Ahem. Excuse me, Dad?”
“Yes, Robbie? What is it?” asked his dad curiously.
“I, I…” Remembering what the former Kommandant had said to him a few minutes ago, he reached and squeezed his friend’s arm for support. He would’ve grabbed his hand, but that might send the wrong message. The American general also didn’t want to have to repeat his apology, so he kept it more formal than he normally would have done.
Letting out a sigh, Hogan said, “I’m sorry for swearing at you, sir. That wasn’t okay for me to do, and I hope you can forgive me for it.”
It galled him to even have to say the words, but he managed it anyway. He had plenty of time to worry about his wounded pride later. Much later, like after he was back in Germany to visit Klink’s family.
John thought his eyes might bug out of his head when his son spoke to him. Robert had never been that sincere in his life! And any time he apologized, it was always just short of disrespectful.
“Of course, son. But don’t do it again, okay?” he finally said.
“Yes sir, I understand,” Hogan said with a sharp nod. Then he turned to his mom, who looked surprised at what she’d just witnessed.
“Mom? Is it okay if I say something to you?” he asked hesitantly.
“Go for it, Robbie,” Mrs. Hogan said, wondering if he was going to apologize to her as well.
Hogan’s hand was trembling as he sucked in air through his teeth. Needing every ounce of support he could get, he kept a death grip on the older general’s arm.
“I’m sorry for back-talking and being rude to you, ma’am. That wasn’t okay for me to do either. And I also hope you can forgive me for it,” he said. Somehow, he managed to sound both reluctant and sincere at the same time as he spoke.
If Emma had been merely surprised before he’d said anything, she was stunned now. Who exactly was Wilhelm Klink that he was able to work these kinds of miracles with her thick-headed son? “Of course I do, baby. Just think before you speak next time, alright?”
“Yes ma’am, I understand,” Hogan replied with another sharp nod.
He didn’t want to apologize to Klink right now. He really, really didn’t. He wanted to apologize to his friend once they were alone in their hotel, but he knew his parents would insist upon it anyway if he didn’t do it of his own free will. And that meant he had to swallow the remainder of his pride in order to speak the words he wished he didn’t have to say at all.
Turning in his seat to face the tall German, he noticed a look of pride on Klink’s face. Klink’s proud of me? Damn, why does that suddenly make me feel better? Hogan wondered. Screw it, I’ll worry about that later.
“Wilhelm, I need to tell you something,” he began. His back had gone ramrod stiff, and every muscle in his body was taut like a piano wire. Anybody with eyes could see it, especially as he was literally shaking from nerves. “I –”
“If you are going to offer me an apology, do not worry about it right now. I can see that you are tense enough to dent steel at the moment,” the former Kommandant interrupted his troublemaker gently. “We do not need an audience for this, so save it for later on. Okay, Rob?”
“O-okay,” Hogan said, his body deflating like a balloon at those words. All the tension had left at once, giving the illusion of a puppet whose strings had been cut. “Thank you, my friend,” he added with a faint smile.
“You are most welcome, Rob,” said Klink, returning the smile as their food finally arrived at the table.

Good questions, better answers…
There was nothing but silence for the next half hour as the four of them ate their dinner. Everyone was still mulling over what had happened that night. The German officer was unbelievably proud of his brat for keeping his word, even though he knew it had to have been demeaning to do so.
Still, Hogan had humbled himself anyway and done it. That was why Klink hadn’t let his friend offer him an apology as well. He knew there was only so much one person could handle at a time. Mental stress was also by far harder to gage than physical stress, because you couldn’t visibly see the toll it was taking on someone until it was too late.
Mr. and Mrs. Hogan were still in shock about a lot of things. While their son had always walked a fine line between mouthy and outright disrespectful, he’d always known how far he could go without crossing it. Tonight had been the first time Robert had ever crossed that line, and it disturbed them somewhat.
Even so, he’d obviously made a good friend while he was off fighting in the war. Klink seemed to not only care about the American general, he knew him well enough to be able to read him like a book. Personally, Emma was inclined to believe that something else was going on with those two. John was just happy there was someone out there who didn’t let Robbie boss him around.
Finally, Hogan was thankful that Klink had given him some words of wisdom. Now that his anger had cooled, he could see that alienating his parents would’ve been a bad move. He was also thankful that the older man had stopped him from issuing his last apology. The younger officer had felt how tense he’d been when he’d started to offer it, and obviously the German one had picked up on that.
After their meals were done and their plates were cleared away, John couldn’t hold his question in any longer. “Okay, so spill. How long have you really known Robbie?” he asked Klink. “Nobody just happens to be able to manage what you’ve done so far tonight. Not when they’ve only known somebody for three years.”
“I can assure you, John, I did not know Rob until the beginning of 1942. We have only known each other a little over three years now,” said the tall German calmly.
“Then how did you pull that off?” John demanded, not satisfied with the answer that he’d been given. “Robbie’s always been…um…”
“You’ve always been a wild child, Robbie. I think that’s what your father is trying to say,” Emma cut in. “We’ve always had to threaten to have you drawn and quartered before you ever considered listening to us, no matter how many extra chores we gave you to do.”
Looking at Klink, she added, “I don’t know what divine power sent you into my son’s life, but he should be thanking his lucky stars that you two ever met,” she added.
“Mom, please,” Hogan said as he blushed. “It’s not that big a deal.”
“I have to concur, Emma,” added Klink, looking uncomfortable with such high praise. “I just seem to have that effect on Rob. We have interacted many times every day for the last three years, so of course we got to know one another well. We also learned how to read each other, and to know when the other one was overly stressed out. It was not too difficult to do.”
“But doesn’t the senior POW officer only have to report to the person running the place once a day?” John asked in confusion. “That’s the position our son said he held at your camp in his letters home. And you said before that the guy in charge is called the Kommandant in German, right?”
“Yes, you are correct,” Klink said with a nod of his head. “And technically that is true. But Rob visited me several times each day, even though he was not required to by the rules of civilized warfare or the Geneva Convention. He called it ‘brightening up my day’,” the German general deadpanned.
“Hey! You know you liked it,” Hogan responded as he laughed.
“That is true enough. It was far better than when you decided to ‘make my day more interesting’,” Klink said as he rolled his eyes.
“Look, it got you out of doing all the boring paperwork you were doing at the time, right? Berlin and their friggin I-need-a-bazillion-handwritten-copies-of-everything selves barely had time to ask you for one copy of something before they got distracted by whatever I had done that day. So it all worked out,” his former senior POW officer shot back smugly.
“Yes, but then you created new paperwork that I had to fill out instead due to your tomfoolery, Rob!” the former Kommandant remarked with a sigh.
“Look, no plan is perfect, right? At least I tried to keep your life from getting too boring,” Hogan replied with a smirk.
“Believe me, you succeeded admirably at it,” Klink informed his friend.
Hogan’s parents had been watching the causal banter back and forth between both generals with a smile. While they didn’t necessarily understand everything being referenced, they didn’t really need to. It was obvious that the two friends were more than comfortable with each other, as if they’d been friends forever instead of only three years.
John asked, “So how does a prisoner of war manage to keep life interesting enough that you’d have to fill out more paperwork than usual?”
Throwing up his hands, Klink said, “I have no idea how Rob came up with his crazy schemes. Come to think of it, I still do not know the answer to that for an absolute certainty. But believe me, he always managed to find a way to do it.”
“And why would Berlin need so many copies of one report? Did they lose their paperwork a lot or something?” Emma chimed in.
“Because the German people are all rule-crazy, paperwork-obsessed nutjobs,” supplied Hogan helpfully. After he felt Klink give him an elbow to the side, he added, “Present company included, of course.”
“You mean ‘excluded’?” the older general inquired with a raised eyebrow.
“I know what I said. Don’t worry about that,” the American one remarked cheerfully.
“You are a real pain in the butt at times, Rob,” Klink growled, only half kidding.
“And the same goes double for you, Wilhelm,” Hogan replied agreeably.
“Well, I have to say that I approve. I think you two are a fine fit as friends. You’re welcome to visit us any time Robbie does if you want to, Wilhelm,” John said.
“I approve as well. I know we’ve just met, but I like you. Come on by and visit us anytime,” his wife said brightly.
“That is very generous of you, but there will also be times when I afraid Rob will be visiting on his own,” Klink said, spontaneously grinning as he felt his former senior POW officer grab his arm again.
“Uh-uh, I don’t think so. Don’t leave me alone with my parents, Wilhelm. That’s just cold,” Hogan remarked as he shook his head. “Wherever I go, you go.”
“Robbie!” his parents said together in exasperation.
Klink looked at his friend and said dryly, “How very thoughtful of you, Rob. Why would you want me there with you? I thought I was ‘always so mean to you’? Now suddenly I am your main support in your time of need?”
Hogan stuck out his tongue at the older man. “You are mean to me! You call me horrible, terrible names!”
“Like what, Robbie?” asked his mom with a furrowed brow. She hadn’t heard the German general call her son any names so far! What was Robert talking about now?
“Oh, they’re pretty bad, Mom,” Hogan began to explain as he let go of Klink’s arm to talk with his hands.
Meanwhile, the former Kommandant just rolled his eyes. He already knew what was coming, or at least he thought he did. And each time his brat said these things, it just reconfirmed that he was indeed a drama queen.
“I’m telling you, I’ve never been called such things in my life!” said Hogan indignantly, being extra theatrical in that moment on purpose. “Wilhelm calls me things like ‘insufferable’, ‘impossible’, and ‘exasperating’. But the worst ones of all are ‘ham’ and ‘drama queen’. I’m telling you, that’s some nerve!”
“Rob, you are a ham. You are a Grade-A, certified, one hundred percent ham. You are even being one right now,” Klink explained patiently.
“You see? Isn’t that terrible, Mom and Dad?” exclaimed Hogan with a grin.
After looking at each other and digesting their son’s version of ‘terrible names’, both of the elder Hogans rolled their eyes.
“Robbie, I’m not sure how to say this, sweetheart –” began Mrs. Hogan with a smile.
“– but those aren’t terrible names. Those are extremely fitting, very accurate descriptions,” Mr. Hogan finished with a smirk.
Hogan gasped, managing to somehow look thoroughly offended. “Well! That’s not very nice,” he said before he cracked up laughing.
“Oh, do not worry too much, Rob,” Klink piped up with a wicked grin. “Since I always call you such horrible things, you will be doing any and all visits to your family solo.”
“No, no. That’s okay, I still want you there with me,” Hogan said hastily.
“Why would you want me there if I am so terrible?” inquired Klink, his previous expression still upon his face.
“Because better the devil you know than the devil you don’t,” explained Hogan with a shake of his head. “Duh.”
Emma looked at the overgrown child disguised as her son and sighed. “Wilhelm, you must have the patience of a saint. I don’t know how you do it.”
“With a lot of schnapps,” Klink said with a straight face, already anticipating the reaction to his planned response.
“Oh, you drink a lot to help keep yourself sane?” guessed John, wondering if it was warranted in this case or not.
“No, I just keep it on hand. Then whenever Rob comes to see me, he drinks about a fourth of the bottle when he thinks that I am not looking. It knocks him out like a light, and I get some peace and quiet for a change,” Klink clarified with a smirk.
After about thirty seconds, both of the elder Hogans burst out laughing. “Okay, I have to give you credit where credit is due. That’s a pretty good solution,” Mr. Hogan remarked once he had calmed down again.
“I concur, and I like it as well. That’s very clever,” added Mrs. Hogan with an amused shake of her head.
“Danke…I mean, thank you. I thought it was,” Klink acknowledged as he shot his friend a smug look.
“You guys all suck,” replied the younger general as he folded his arms and pouted. He didn’t enjoy being made fun of, and he sure didn’t appreciate his parents joining in on the fun.
“Do not pout like that, Rob. It is unbecoming for a young man such as yourself,” Klink teased. However, his words only resulted in the pout becoming a scowl instead.

An unwanted conversation…
“Moving on,” stated Emma as she became serious again. “I would like to clarify some things with you regarding your methods of disciplining Robbie, Wilhelm.”
“Oh no. No, no. Mom, please don’t ask those types of questions. Come on, that’s so humiliating,” Hogan pleaded as he began to blush.
“Rob, just remember what I told you earlier. Grab onto me for emotional support if you need to, alright?” Klink said.
Then he looked at Mrs. Hogan and nodded. “Of course, Emma. But I did tell Rob earlier that I would field as many questions about this as I could on his behalf. So unless it is something only he can answer, I would appreciate if you only asked the questions of me. The…er…subject matter embarrasses him,” Klink explained awkwardly.
Emma considered that for a minute as she gazed at her son, who was blushing beet red. “I can appreciate you wanting to spare my son’s dignity, Wilhelm. So I can agree to that, but there may or may not be a few questions I’ll need Robbie to answer himself. I think that’s fair,” she said.
“That is fair enough. Please proceed,” Klink said politely as Hogan groaned softly beside him.
“So first of all, however did you come up with this concept?” Hogan’s mom inquired. “It does seem a bit…unorthodox.”
“Well, first of all you should know I have two bratty nephews that I often babysat before the war started,” Klink began. “A good spanking was the perfect way to make them behave and listen to me whenever they acted like naughty children, which brings me to how I got this idea at all. At Stalag 13, Rob was in charge of all the other prisoners of war. On the Luftwaffe side, I had approximately eighty guards.”
The tall German shrugged as he continued on. “Every last one of them followed their commanding officer’s example, which is how it should be. The problem is, said commanding officer acts like a little boy in a grown man’s body. He ran around my camp doing whatever he wished, acting like a naughty child most of the time. And that meant I had almost a thousand prisoners running around acting like naughty children as well, which was not a good thing as they outnumbered the guards over ten to one. So I had to do something, or else I could have very well lost control of the camp via a transfer or death. Either one would have been a catastrophe for everyone involved. Many of the other Kommandanten, or commanders, did not have either my tolerance or patience for such antics.”
Then the older officer gave his brat's hand a squeeze, trying to offer a measure of silent comfort the only way he could. "I did not want anyone to get hurt, be they a prisoner or a guard. So my logic was that if I kept the leader in line and listening to me, then the rest would take care of itself. Prison camps are very much a pack mentality," he explained. "The military in general is as well, now that I think about it. If the leader does something, the rest of them will follow. Thus, I gave my idea a shot. I figured that if it worked for my nephews, it would work on Rob as well."
“And did it?” asked John, who had been listening to the tale with interest. He had to admit, the logic was sound.
“Somewhat,” replied Klink. “There were still some incidents, but the number dropped to about one-third of what they had been previously. Frankly, I would have implemented the idea the day Rob was brought into my camp had I known it would work that well. Regrettably, we had a minor hiccup in the arrangement during the last few months of the war.”
Emma had a puzzled expression as she inquired, “What sort of minor hiccup?”
Klink almost looked embarrassed as he explained it. “Er…well, I had told Rob on the previous two nights that we had this type of ‘discussion’ in my personal quarters –”
“Wait, hang on a minute,” asked Hogan’s dad. “Sorry to interrupt, but did you just say ‘at night in your personal quarters’? And you called them ‘discussions’? Why?”
“Yes, we did. That way I could speak with Rob about it anywhere inside the camp if need be, and no one would be the wiser,” explained Klink. “And due to the necessity of multiple roll calls in a day, it was best to do such things at night. Besides that, I was often needed at random times during the day by my men. Rob had the same situation with the men under his command, and we did not want to be disturbed. Besides that, I had no wish to humiliate him either.”
“Oh, okay. I can understand that,” said Mr. Hogan.
"Anyway, you were saying before about the minor hiccup?” prompted Mrs. Hogan.
“Ah, yes, Anyway, I had told Rob twice before that since he obviously felt the need to have a sore bottom all the time by causing trouble for me, I would give him one nightly if I felt he needed it. And make no mistake, I have never just hauled off and spanked your son without at least one prior warning about such an occurrence happening. Usually I would always give him two warnings or more, though. I am a fair man, but even I have my limits,” Klink said.
“But I had already given him two warnings about this previously. So by the third time such a thing occurred, I was sick of repeating myself to him. I had only planned to use my hand for the initial punishment, because I knew that another would be forthcoming before the night was through,” he explained.
“Yet Rob was playing with my riding crop, which annoyed me since I was already in a bad mood. When I instructed him to put it down or have his bare bottom spanked with it, he both sassed and mocked me. So, I gave him what he obviously wanted. I spanked his insolent behind with it until he cried, and then he received another spanking by hand as previously planned on.” The older man shrugged, doing his best to look nonchalant about the whole thing.
Internally though, he was nervous as all get out. He was worried that Mr. and Mrs. Hogan would think him cruel or sadistic. He’d always gone out of his way to be the complete opposite, but he also knew how the whole thing must look to an outsider.
Clearing his throat, Klink added, “You should know that from the beginning of this whole thing – starting in early 1944 – I warned Rob from the get-go of what would happen if he chose to continue and disobey me. I laid everything out quite clearly, as well as my reasons why I had decided to go this route. One of them was that I despise the cooler, which is a cold, isolated jail cell with no heat of any kind near the back of Stalag 13. Needless to say, it is very easy to become ill if one is in there for an extended period of time.”
For some reason, the former Kommandant felt defensive about his actions as he spoke. “I have stated repeatedly that I would never do anything to cause him permanent damage, and Rob can confirm that if you ask him. And I made him a promise that I would never lie to him or joke about this in any sort of way. It has been my downfall a few times, that promise has. But I am a man of my word. I have actually run out of implements to use on your son, because anything I use must have a prerequisite of not being able to cause said permanent damage.”
He debated whether or not he should say what he was thinking, before deciding that it wouldn’t hurt. “And…and my father was an abusive man, so I am well aware of what can and cannot be used without leaving a scar of some kind. There is nothing that I have used to spank Rob that I have not had used on me as well at least once during my lifetime,” Klink admitted. “Thus, I know exactly how far I can go with whatever implement I am using before I must stop. I am always very careful in what I am doing, so make no mistake about that.”
Emma nodded, patiently listening to the explanation she was being given. She supposed as a mother, she should feel outraged on her child’s behalf. Yet all she felt was a grim satisfaction that her disobedient son had finally been taken well in hand. It was actually something she should’ve done long ago, but she’d never had the heart to do it. Neither had John, so they’d used extra chores as a deterrent instead. And it was obvious that the tall German went to great lengths to warn Robert about the consequences of his actions, as well as to not be abusive or barbaric in any way.
“That sounds perfectly understandable,” she said at last. “And I have no problem with any of that, Wilhelm. But –”
“I do,” Hogan muttered, blushing a dark red by now. He saw his mom glaring at him and added hastily, “Sorry, Mom. Go ahead.”
“Thank you, Robbie,” she replied dryly before she turned back to his friend. “As I was saying before, I have one question for you, Wilhelm.”
“What would that be?” inquired the older officer, wondering if they were going to call the police on him at some point for all of this.
“Why did you spank Robbie until he cried? Surely he had learned his lesson before that point?” Mrs. Hogan asked.
But Klink was already shaking his head in reply. “Emma, you must understand what I am telling you. Rob is stubborn as two or three donkeys combined, and his punishments were not merely just for him to learn a lesson. Your son has been spanked on his bare bottom many times over my lap. On each occasion, I could always tell he was in great pain. Now, you would think that in such a state, he would surrender to the emotional release being offered to him. But did he ever let his emotions go and accept it? No. He would always fight it and fight it each time, merely because he could.”
He let out a sigh as he recalled some of the worse punishments he’d doled out in his mind. “I have always had – and continue to have – to coax the breakdown out of him each time. I told him the very first time we had such a ‘discussion’ that I would always spank him until he cried, because it is a form of stress relief. Crying has long since been a way to release built up tension and other negative emotions. It is not a pleasant journey to reach that point, but it seems to have been very useful to your son. Rob has actually begged me on two different occasions to punish him, because he enjoys that stress relief so much,” the former Kommandant answered.
Both of the elder Hogans’ heads turned to look at their son, but he was nowhere to be found. “Robbie? Where are you, son?” Mr. Hogan called out.
“Under the table, hiding from the world,” Hogan said in a muffled voice. He was embarrassed beyond all reason, both because his mother had even asked such questions and because Klink had answered them.
“Robbie, please get back in your chair,” his mother requested.
“No! I’m so mortified, I could die on the spot. You can hear me just fine from right here, I’m sure,” Hogan replied, his hands over his face as he spoke.
“Grow up, son. You act like you’re the first person in history to have their tail worn out as a form of discipline. Literally everyone at this table has been through it before you, so you’re not alone. You’re just the newest member of the club. So do as your mother asked and get your butt back in that chair right now!” his father ordered, sounding exasperated.
There was a moment of silence, and then a “Yes, Dad,” was heard. Slowly, the American general crawled out from underneath the table and stood up. His cheeks were a dark red from blushing, and as soon as he sat in his chair again, he covered his face with his hands.
Klink tried to put his arm around his brat’s shoulders as a form of comfort, but Hogan jerked away from him.
“Don’t touch me, Wilhelm!” he hissed angerly, his face still covered by his hands. “I’m so mad at you right now, I could spit nails! How could you do this to me? I thought you were my friend!”
“Rob, I…” the tall German was at a loss for what to say. He’d only been answering the questions he was asked! Then he looked at Hogan’s mother and mouthed the word ‘help’.
“Robbie, remove your hands from your face and look at me,” Emma said in an unusually firm tone of voice. “Now!”
His former senior POW officer removed his hands from his face and looked at his mom, his eyes holding an arsenal of daggers in them. “Yes, Mom?” he asked through clenched teeth, sounding royally pissed off.
“Robbie, you listen to me and listen good. You can be mad at me until the cows come home and go back out again. I don’t particularly care either way. But you will not take your anger out on your friend. He was just answering the questions I asked of him regarding your welfare. I only wanted to be sure you hadn’t been hurt in any way, baby. It’s my job as your mom,” Emma told him in a no-nonsense tone.
“Mom, you’ve managed to thoroughly humiliate me without a shadow of a doubt. I would have let you know a long time ago if I’d been hurt at all,” Hogan said, still sounding highly agitated. “And I’m not a baby, I’m almost forty!”
“Honey, you will always be my baby boy. It doesn’t matter if you’re almost forty or almost four hundred, I’ll always see that cute baby with the shock of black hair that I gave birth to,” Mrs. Hogan replied with an eye roll.
“Mom! You’re embarrassing me yet again!” Hogan exclaimed. “Let me clear a few things up for you right now, okay? I haven’t been permanently hurt in any type of way. The only thing that even comes close to that category is the damage to my pride, but that’s to be expected. Also, Wilhelm would never do that to me. Somewhere along the line, I’ve become addicted to that emotional release – that he provides so well, by the way – better than any drug I can think of.”
His cheeks burned with shame as he explained what was on his mind. The American general hated even having to do it, but he also didn’t want to sit here while his mom played twenty questions about how and why he was spanked either!
“He’s never abused me or been sadistic in any sort of fashion. He’s also always given me more than enough warnings before he punishes me. However, I’m usually too stubborn to pay much attention – if I choose to listen at all – to said warnings. And I trust him utterly with anything and everything that I have, up to and including my life. Now, can we please drop this subject forever? Please?” he pleaded.
Klink was flattered to hear how Hogan felt about him, because that was an incredible endorsement. But he also knew he should probably step in at some point. So he asked his troublemaker, “Look, I have some embarrassing stories of my own that I could tell you later on. Would that make you feel any better, Rob?”
His former senior POW officer shook his head angerly. “No, because you’d just censor them. I don’t think you get it. You’re talking about me to my parents like I’m not here! And about demeaning stuff to boot,” he snapped. “How would you feel if I talked to your mom about those types of things with you sitting right there?”
Klink let out a weary sigh. “For the love of all that is holy, Robert! My mother has an entire treasure trove of embarrassing stories about me. If it will help you feel less slighted, I will ask her to tell you a few of them when we see her. Alright? And I will even sit right next to her, so I will be in the same position you are at the moment. I believe we may have some of my baby pictures too that you may look at, if you wish. In fact, we can go see her next instead of going to Palm Springs if you are okay with the idea. Now please, do not be angry with me,” he pleaded.
Hogan’s dad nodded in agreement with Klink, impressed by the older man’s reaction to all of this. “I’d say that’s a damn good friend you got there, son. I don’t know a man alive who volunteers to ask his mother to share embarrassing stories about himself with someone else. Not to mention sharing his baby pictures with you, being as those are always pretty bad. No matter who you are, everyone’s got at least one they wish that they could erase from existence.”
Mollified by now, Hogan stared at his friend in surprise. “You’d really do all of that for me?” he asked slowly. “And you’d skip going to Palm Springs too? But you’ve always wanted to see it!”
“If it makes you feel better about everything? Yes. I would do it in a heartbeat. I will not be happy about it, but I will do it for you. And only for you, Rob,” confirmed Klink. “As for Palm Springs, there will be other trips to the United States. It will still be there at a later date, I am sure.”
Mr. and Mrs. Hogan looked at each other and smiled. Their son had found a true friend, and in the strangest place imaginable. Emma cleared her throat and said, “Fine, Robbie. You’ve answered everything I wanted to know anyway.”
Hogan sagged with relief as he said, “Thank God. This much blushing can’t be good for my body.”

An awkward conversation, part one…
Mrs. Hogan turned to look at Klink and asked, “Wilhelm, could I speak with you privately for a moment?”
“Of course, Emma,” replied Klink as he stood and followed her to where he and his troublemaker had been earlier. After they were standing there, he asked, “What is on your mind?”
Hogan’s mom gave Klink a quick glace up and down, seeming to decide something in her head. “I have just one question for you, Wilhelm.”
“What is it?” inquired Klink, wondering what this conversation was going to be about.
Emma took a deep breath, appearing to consider her words. “Has Robbie acted protective towards you in any way? Not just a normal sort of protective, like a friend would be. I’m talking about ultra, look-at-him-the-wrong-way-and-you-die type protective. Has he acted like that around you at all?”
The former Kommandant blinked, wondering what type of question that was. “Yes, now that you mention it,” he said slowly. “In Germany, there were two different people he went off on. One was a British sergeant whom he threatened to – and I quote, ‘bust his ass down to private’ – if he did not show me some respect. I apologize for my language, but that was a direct quote,” Klink said.
“The other time was when we visited with the highest ranking member of the Luftwaffe. The officer in question merely observed that Rob and I were friends, that he cared about me. The statements were in no way a threat, but that is how your son took them.” Klink shook his head at the memory.
“Emma, I thought Rob was going to come unglued. He was literally shaking from anger, radiating dangerous vibes, and using many colorful metaphors while he made various threats towards the individual. I honestly thought that I might have to restrain him at some point. As it was, I had to order your son to stand down to keep things from escalating,” the older man said.
The German general looked at Hogan’s mom with a baffled expression. “I must admit, that is a rather strange question. Why did you ask it of me?” he asked curiously.
But Emma just groaned and facepalmed. “Oh boy. Robbie’s got it bad.”
Confused by that reaction, Klink said, “I beg your pardon? Would you please elaborate what you mean by that?”
Looking him straight in the eye, Mrs. Hogan pulled no punches. “Look, I just thought you should know, since you two are friends and all. Robbie’s bisexual. And I can see that he really, really likes you. It’s beyond mere lust too. He’s in love with you, Wilhelm. And I think you two would make a cute couple.”
“I…what?” Klink asked, feeling stupid and pondering why Hogan’s mom felt that he needed to know that. Being as he wasn’t in love with his friend and was straight, those circumstances didn’t apply to him.
“I am not a homosexual, though. So there is a slight problem with that idea right off the bat,” he pointed out.
Emma shook her head and smiled. “You can lie to yourself if you’d like, Wilhelm. But I’ve seen the way you both act toward each other. It speaks for itself.”
“Emma, homosexuality is against the law in this country. Germany is even stricter about such laws. Not to mention you cannot be in either the Luftwaffe or the United States Army Air Force if you prefer the same gender. And both Rob and I are career officers, so we need to keep our jobs,” Klink tried to point out.
Hogan’s mom just shrugged as she talked. “I didn’t say it was an ideal situation. I said he was in love with you. And you should know that my son is very territorial, both when he’s in a relationship with someone or when he wants to be. If anybody so much as looks like they might be threatening you while he’s this head-over-heels in love, they could very well get hurt.”
“I…Emma…we…” Klink stammered, wondering where this conversation had veered off the path.
“I believe you have made a mistake,” he finally said. “I am not –”
“– dating my son yet? I know,” she said. “If you’re worried about John and I, we’re very open-minded people. We just want our child to be happy. And if he chooses you to be his boyfriend or whatever the modern term is for it, that’s fine with us. I’ve seen how you look at Robbie in return, you know.”
The German officer shook his head, his mind still in denial. “We are just good friends.” he said firmly. “And I do not look at Rob in any special type of way!”
“I wouldn’t advise doing anything except seeing your family and getting a place together so the two of you can work out how you feel about each other. Because until that point in time, it’s a really bad idea for either you or Robbie to go anywhere alone,” Mrs. Hogan added, acting as if she hadn’t heard him.
“I know my child. He’ll worry himself sick if you so much as go to the store without him at this point. Well, at least until he’s able to reassure himself you won’t up and leave him one day without saying goodbye. Eventually he’ll handle it a lot better, though he still won’t be happy if you go off somewhere alone.”
The older man didn’t even get a chance to interrupt before she spoke again. “Like I already said, Robbie is very territorial. And he always puts the welfare of those he cares about before his own. Whenever my son loves somebody, he puts one hundred and ten percent into it, giving that relationship everything he has to offer,” she added.
“Yes, I have seen that in the way he leads his command, not to mention heard stories about it from both his men and Rob himself. It seems that there have been instances where a situation had the potential to be deadly, so he ordered them to flee. Naturally, they disregarded the order in favor of keeping their commanding officer alive,” Klink stated.
Now that he combined Mrs. Hogan’s words with everything he’d been told on the subject, his brat’s recklessness suddenly made a lot more sense! Then the former Kommandant looked at her like she’d grown a second head.
“I concur that the idea of becoming roommates is a good one,” he admitted. “But the only feelings I have for your son are platonic.” Even now, he continued to lie to himself despite the new information he’d just been given.
“Suit yourself,” Emma said with a shrug. “But would you do me two favors?”
“It would depend on what they were,” the older general said carefully, leery of simply saying yes after this strange conversation.
“Number one: keep an eye on Robbie as long as you’re both traveling together. He’s cocky and headstrong, and he needs someone with a reasonable, level head on his shoulders to keep him from doing something stupid. In short, my son needs a keeper,” Hogan’s mom remarked.
Klink nodded his head. “As long as we are traveling together, I can do that,” he agreed. “What is the second favor?”
With a smirk, Emma said, “Make sure you bust his butt whenever you feel that he needs it. You seem like a reasonable sort of person, Wilhelm. So I trust that you’ll be fair about it. Make sure to do it if it’s something you think we wouldn’t approve of either. You know, on my behalf and John’s,” she added with a smirk.
Returning the smirk, Klink replied, “Oh, I can definitely do that. Would you like me to go easy on Rob at any point if a spanking is given to him on your behalf?”
With a very unladylike snort, Emma responded, “Heck no! Make sure you do it just as hard as you would any other time. Robbie has years of back-talk and disrespect to catch up on,” she added.
“I see. That can be arranged,” said Klink with a wicked grin.
“Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say to you, Wilhelm. I still need to speak with Robbie for a minute, so could you send him over here when you go back to the table?” Emma asked him.
“Er…yes. Thank you for the advice, Emma,” said Klink as he walked back to the table.
After he told Hogan his mother wanted to talk to him alone, he sat down in his chair. His head was spinning from what he’d just been told. Hogan was in love with him? That was nonsense! But she claims she has seen Rob act like this before when he was in love, his mind reasoned. And all of his core team said the exact same thing. Ugh! I will deal with this later. A lot, lot later.

An awkward conversation, part two…
“You wanted to see me for a minute, Mom?” inquired Hogan as he walked over to his mom.
“Yes honey, I did,” said his mom with a grin. “While it’s been wonderful to see you again and to meet Wilhelm, I have something I need to say before your father and I leave to go home.”
“Um, okay. What is it?” asked the American officer wondering where this was going. What came out of his mom’s mouth was the last thing he expected to hear, though!
“Robbie, I think you should tell Wilhelm how you feel. And if he likes you too, you should snag him for yourself before somebody else does. He’s a sweet man, and I’m getting the vibe that he likes you the same way you like him. That much is obvious from how you two interact. You both act like an old married couple,” Emma explained.
Feeling his jaw drop open, Hogan sputtered, “But…but…Mom, I’m not…”
“Don’t even try to hand me that line of crap, son. I know for a fact that you’re bisexual, because I’ve seen you kissing your friend Russell many times. The last time I checked, straight men don’t kiss other men. And they certainly don’t kiss them more than once!” Mrs. Hogan said. Her eyes were dancing with mischief, the same way her son’s did whenever he was plotting something.
“But I…you…when?” Hogan asked weakly. This was certainly news to him. And they’d been so careful too. Apparently not careful enough, his inner voice commented.
“A mother never gives away her secrets, Robbie. But even if I hadn’t seen that before, I know the signs when my child is in love. I’m a mom, so it’s my job to know,” Emma said firmly. “Besides, you know your dad and I are very open-minded people. I know your father will accept him into the family without any objections. So just –”
“Wait, wait, wait!” the former senior POW officer exclaimed desperately, holding up his hands. “You’re moving a little too fast, don’t you think? First you’re informing me that I supposedly love Wilhelm, and now you’re trying to marry me off? Even if I was bi – and I’m not saying I am, I’m just saying if I was – it’s illegal! Both of us plan to be in our respective militaries until we retire, and being a **poof is an automatic dishonorable discharge. Not to mention jail time,” he added.
Mrs. Hogan raised her eyebrows. “I thought you were supposedly straight. Now you’ve gone from being straight to being a poof? I think you skipped a step there, son,” she said dryly.
“Huh? No, I’m not a poof! I’m straight!” Hogan said, wondering where she’d gotten that idea.
“But you said being a poof is a crime. Someone who’s bi likes both genders equally, so that means you’re not a poof,” she said reasonably.
The younger officer groaned and facepalmed. “Mom, both the military and the law treat poofs and bisexual people equally. And like I said, it’s illegal. Both here in the United States and in Germany, it’s illegal. So we’re screwed either way,” he pointed out.
“No, you’re not. But you could be, if you play your cards right,” his mom teased him.
Her words made her son turn beet red. “Mom! You’re not supposed to talk about that stuff!” Hogan exclaimed. “Geez!”
“Robbie, I know more about sex then you probably do. I’ve been around a lot longer then you, and how do you think you got here anyway? A mail order service?” Emma demanded. “I can assure you that you didn’t come from the cabbage patch either, nor did the stork deliver you. Besides, I’ll have you know that your father and I still –”
“MOM! Please, can we change the subject? I don’t need to know about that. Any of it,” the younger general begged as his blush got even darker.
“Okay, honey. We can do that. Let’s talk about you and Wilhelm instead,” she suggested with an evil grin. “I think the two of you would make a cute couple. And you’ve been too busy looking in every other direction to notice how that man is looking at you. He’s eying you like you’re the only tall drink of water in the middle of the desert. But if it’s any consolation, he’s just as confused as you are. You might have to make the first move, Robbie.”
“I…you…he…” Hogan couldn’t make his tongue work properly for a minute or two, so he had to take a few deep breaths before he could speak again. “You talked to Wilhelm about this crazy idea as well? Mom, are you trying to literally kill me from humiliation today? Because you’re doing a great job so far,” he complained.
“Nope,” Emma said in the same annoying cheerful way that her son had inherited. “Just giving you two lovebirds a much-needed nudge is all. I asked him one thing, and that was if you’d done your caveman protective bit around him yet. You know, the whole ‘Me Robert. You Wilhelm. Us cave, right now.’ Do you know what he said?”
“No, and I’m kinda afraid to find out,” the former senior POW officer admitted as he covered his eyes with his hands.
Emma smirked, thoroughly enjoying giving her only child a hard time since he’d been shot down in Germany three years ago. “He says you’ve done it twice already, and that the second time you were radiating dangerous vibes. Oh, and you were using plenty of ‘colorful metaphors’ – as he put it – when you threatened to beat some high ranking officer up for a perceived threat to Wilhelm.”
She raised her eyebrows again and asked, “Are you going to tell me about that, Robbie?”
“No,” Hogan muttered crossly. He could feel his mother’s sharp gaze on him, so he sighed and lowered his hands. “I mean…no, ma’am,” he amended.
“Better,” his mom said with a nod. “Don’t think you can just keep copping an attitude whenever it suits you, young man. I’ve already asked Wilhelm to keep an eye on you, and to bust your butt whenever he feels that it’s needed. Which he said he’d be happy to do, and he also said that he’d do it on both my behalf and your father’s. And no, he won’t go easy on you during those times either. All per my request, of course,” Hogan’s mom added with a smirk.
“Wonderful. Just peachy,” Hogan griped. “Mom, he can land a really hard swat. You just don’t understand how he thinks. He’s going to keep me standing up forever! What have you done?” he asked dejectedly. “Don’t you love me anymore?”
“Oh, stop being so over-dramatic. I do love you. That's why I asked your friend to keep an eye on you. He's going make sure you stay out of trouble, since I can't do it because you'll be living so far away. And to punish you if you get into some anyway, of course.”
Her son was giving her a horrified look as she continued on. “I know that you’ll be perfectly fine, Robbie. A sore behind here and there never hurt anyone. And Wilhelm also seems very fair. I’m sure as long as you behave like an adult, you won’t have any problems at all,” Emma remarked brightly.
“Says you,” muttered Hogan as he let out a weary sigh. “Mom, I really don’t need a keeper. I’m almost forty, and –”
“– and you’re an overconfident, cocky young man with a major attitude problem. So yes, you do need a keeper, honey,” his mom interrupted him. “I suggested you two become roommates, since from what I understand you’re giving your thirty day notice on your apartment. And Wilhelm’s still trying to figure out where he’s going to live after all is said and done. It makes perfect sense,” Mrs. Hogan said triumphantly.
“Now, your father and I have to leave. I won’t say anything to him yet, but I expect to receive either a phone call or a letter from you within a week of you two lovebirds getting together. And then I’ll tell him the news. Okay?” Hogan’s mom asked.
“I…but…yes, Mom,” Hogan said in a resigned tone. “Man, anybody ever tell you that you’re really stubborn?” he asked wryly.
With a wink, Emma asked, “Where do you think you got it from, son? Besides…I raised you, Robert Hogan, so I had to be a very determined individual. And you’re pretty adequate yourself in that department, honey.”
“I guess that’s true,” was all Hogan said in reply as they walked back to the table.

Saying goodbye…
“Well, it was nice to meet you, Wilhelm,” Mr. Hogan said as he shook the German’s hand.
“Likewise, John,” replied Klink as they shook hands.
Then John turned to his son and clapped him on the back. “Good luck, Robbie. Wherever you go, just be careful. Okay?”
“Yes, Dad,” said Hogan as he gave his dad a half hug. “Drive safely. I’ll give you a call before we leave the country.”
“Wilhelm, it was an absolute pleasure to meet you,” said Emma as she wrapped him in a hug and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “That was for the earrings,” she added.
“I am very glad to have met you as well, Emma. And I can see where Rob gets his stubbornness from,” he added with a wink at Hogan.
Mrs. Hogan turned to her son, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek as well. “I love you, baby. You be careful, alright? And listen to Wilhelm! Unlike you, he doesn’t seem to go off half-cocked at every opportunity,” she added.
“Yes, Mom,” Hogan replied dutifully. “You guys be careful on the way back! There’s still some damage to the roads,” he added.
John just shook his head. “We’ll be fine, Robbie. Goodbye for now,” he added as he walked toward the door.
Emma stared at the two officers for a minute before a grin crossed her face. “Remember what I said, you two. Have fun…and goodbye for now,” she added with a wink as she followed her husband toward the door.
Hogan waved and called out, “Goodbye, Mom! Goodbye, Dad!”
Klink also waved as he called out, “Goodbye, John! Goodbye, Emma!”
After his parents had left, the two generals looked at each other and blushed.
“So…what did she mean by that, Rob? What did you mother tell you?” asked Klink.
Hogan shook his head. “Just some ridiculous nonsense. I don’t wanna talk about it.”
Klink smiled and added, “Is it that same moronic theory that Captain Carter had? Because if so, I do not want to discuss it either.”
“Yep,” Hogan affirmed. “It’s stupid. We’re just good friends.”
“Absolutely. Just good friends,” Klink repeated.
After looking at each other in silence for a moment, Hogan said slowly, “So what now? Should we head for Germany?”
“Yes! I mean, yes,” Klink said. “It is time to face my mother now.”
“And payback is gonna be so sweet,” Hogan teased with a grin as they headed toward the door.
“I was afraid of that,” Klink said with a sigh. “Just go easy on me, Rob.”
“Of course,” said Hogan with a knowing smirk as he held the door open for his friend. “I’ll show you the same level of mercy you showed me tonight.”
“To partially quote you, Rob: Magical. Simply magical,” grumbled Klink as he exited the building.
“You’ve got no idea yet, Wilhelm,” agreed Hogan as he left the building as well. He was looking forward to this!

A/N: **Poof is another name for a homosexual, which can be derogatory depending on how it’s used.
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