Silenced Screams

Title: Silenced Screams
Author: Zhaan
Email: zhaan@msn.com
Season: Season Seven
Rating: NC-17
Spoiler: None
Category: Romance/Angst/Drama
Pairings: Sam/Jack, some Daniel/Janet, others
Summary: Painful memories from Jack's Black Op days resurface. He must find a way to protect the one he loves and deal with his anguish and pain.
Disclaimer: Sadly they are not mine, more’s the pity. They belong to others. I'm just playing with them, I promise to put them back when I'm finished. I only own this story, which isn't much

ARCHIVE: SJD, Yes. S/J NC17 Fanfic Archive, Fan fiction, any and all others are more than welcome to it. Just drop me a line so that I can come visit it.

Author's Note: Here we go folk...finally the last chapter. Again a very, very special thank you to my wonderful beta Sue. I could not have finished this without all of her help. Any remaining problems are entirely my fault. Thanks so much for reading.


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Chapter Twenty-Nine


Over the first few days at the cabin they’d worked towards helping each other come to grips with all that had happened, helping each other to heal, helping each other to move past this terrifying ordeal, both trying to understand how they felt about what they’d gone through. And, with only a few bumps along the road, they had managed to broach most of the issues they needed to deal with. Jack was eternally thankful there were no neighbors for miles around, however, because some of their bumps had turned into very loud shouting matches.

But, in the end, they had managed to work through most of the issues McKenzie would be evaluating them on for their fitness to return to duty. They certainly weren’t over it, by any means, especially Sam, but they were handling it. There had been lots of tears, followed by lots of hugs, and there would probably be a lot more. But at least they were beginning to open up to each other…which was hard for both of them…talking things through, being there for each other, trying to sort out in their hearts and minds how they both really felt about everything and the best way to deal with what they had both been through. And they were doing it together.

But now, here he was, lying alone in his bed. Jack couldn't help feeling a little bit uneasy as he lay staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom. Strange how he hadn't noticed the chipped paint in the far corner and he'd been here for a week, sleeping in this room every night. Maybe he'd get around to a few repairs some time during the following week. The guys would be arriving some time tomorrow; he'd get them to help.

He'd hoped that during their time alone Sam would give him some sign that she'd forgiven him enough to still want the fragile relationship they'd begun. Even though she'd spent every night in his bed, they had done nothing but sleep. The first couple of nights she'd gone to her own room but nightmares had ripped her from her sleep. It seemed that only in his arms could she feel safe...only he could keep the nightmares at bay. But he wouldn't take advantage of that situation. The decision on the direction of their fledgling relationship had to be hers. And, so far, her decision had not been in his favor.

He'd been caught completely off guard when she'd changed their nightly routine and told him that she'd be sleeping in her own bed tonight. That, as nice as it had been, they both knew that the arrangement couldn't last and that now was as good a time as any to start getting adjusted to reality.

They knew that it couldn't be that easy but if she was going to fall apart...when she fell apart…she'd like to have as few witnesses as possible. Besides, it had to start some time. But right about now all Jack could feel was loneliness. He'd never realized just how big his bed was before. He'd never felt so alone or so ill at ease here. He refused to make the rounds and check the doors and windows one more time. He'd already done that three times. It wasn't the security of the house that had him on edge, it was the security of having Sam nearby that he missed so much. He could already tell this was going to be a very long night. Refusing to become that pathetic, he pulled his covers tighter and willed himself to sleep.

Sam lay across the hall from him, having pretty much the same thoughts as he. Their current sleeping arrangement had been her idea but right now she was seriously questioning its wisdom. It was almost 03:00 and none of her tricks seemed to be working; she was still wide awake and showed no signs of that changing before daybreak. And why was it that every sound that had been so soothing to her all week now had her almost jumping out of her skin? But she refused to get up again. She'd already gone to the bathroom once and gone for water twice. She would not be this pathetic. She was a Major in the US Air Force, for goodness sake. She should be able to sleep alone. Snuggling down in her bed and squeezing her eyes tightly shut and vowing to keep them that way at least until morning, she fought every instinct in her body and promised herself she would get at least a few hours of sleep.

Not consciously aware of the cause, Sam suddenly found herself bounding up in bed as she searched in the dark, trying to identify the sound she'd heard. Waiting several minutes but not hearing anything, she was just lying back down when she heard the sound again. Rushing from her bed and into Jack's room, she found him tangled up in his bed sheets, soaking wet, as he fought off unseen demons in his nightmare. Without stopping to think about what she was doing, she was beside him in an instant. Unable to wake him, all she could do was hold him and whisper her assurance that he was all right and that she was there for him as he continued to tremble and mutter unintelligibly. Burying his face in her chest and mumbling, “I'm all right...I'm all right...just a dream...just a dream,” he was finally able to calm down. It was long minutes before he could fight his way back from the dark place his nightmares had held him. Feeling embarrassed and ashamed as he realized he was holding on to Sam like she was his lifeline, he pulled away, unable to even meet her eyes. But Sam had no intention of allowing him to pull away from her and bury his emotions, any more than he'd been willing to allow her.

Sam's quiet laughter broke the struggle he was putting up to disentangle himself from her and his covers. “We’re quite a pair, you and I. Have you been having nightmares this whole time?” Sam asked as she finally allowed him a little space.

All he could do was nod, still too embarrassed to say anything.

“And here I was thinking I was being a burden on you, needing you close to keep away my bad dreams...” Her sentence trailed off as Jack’s eyes finally locked with hers, seeing the truth of what she was saying.

“I need you as much as you need me, Sam. I just didn't want to lay anything else on you. You already had enough. The last thing you needed was all of my baggage, too,” Jack confessed.

“Maybe if I had some of your baggage I wouldn't have felt so much like I was dumping all of mine on you,” Sam tried to explain.

Jack felt himself getting lost in the depth of her blue eyes as understanding began to dawn. It couldn't be that simple. It couldn't be that all they'd needed to do was to open up to each other to find what he'd feared was lost to them. But, as he watched, spellbound, as her head slowly lowered to his, he began to believe. Meeting her halfway, his arms came around her, holding her tight to his body as his mouth slowly made love to hers. Their tongues dueled for dominance as their kiss became more passionate, as the hunger he'd held under such tight control all week managed to break free. He'd wanted her and now it would seem that she'd wanted him just as much. Finally coming up for some much-needed air, he had to be sure that this really was something she wanted.

“Sam, are you sure? I mean, we don't...” he began, but found his words swallowed up as Sam's lips joined with his again in a searing kiss that left no room for doubt in his mind. It was long minutes before either was able to think or speak again.

Jack had forgotten how much he loved kissing Sam, how much he loved the feel of her soft skin under his wandering hands. Sometimes it was hard to believe that his tough-as-nails, no-nonsense Major could also be this soft and sensual Samantha. But, as much as he loved kissing her, right now he desperately needed to get his hands on more of her soft, sensual skin. Sam must have been having the same thoughts as he was because they began to attack each other's clothes. It wasn't long before they were both back in each other’s arms with every possible inch of skin touching.

With the evidence of Jack's arousal pressed tightly between their bodies, Sam couldn't wait to feel Jack inside her again. It seemed like it had been a lifetime since they’d been together and she didn't think she could bear to wait any longer.

“Please, Jack, I need you. Now. Make love to me,” Sam begged, as Jack trailed a line of wet kisses from her lips to that secret place he knew would drive her wild.

His slow exploration of her body was driving her crazy. But no amount of pleading and begging was getting her what she most wanted. As her fingers played through his short, silky strands, trying without success to guide him to where she needed him, Jack's mouth finally latched onto one of her breasts. She had become so hypersensitive that her body arched completely off the bed as her climax ripped through her body, setting every nerve ending on fire as he sucked the nipple into his mouth and threatened it with the pressure of his teeth.

Jack could think of nothing more beautiful than watching Sam fall apart from his touch. Her body had arched so much that he feared she would break her back as she continued to ride the waves of her release. He was still amazed at just how responsive her body was to him; he hadn't even begun to make love to her and already she'd had a powerful orgasm from just his mouth on her breast. He couldn't wait to see what she would do once he was inside her.

Stroking his day-old beard over her stomach as he covered her still-quivering flesh in soothing and calming kisses, he held on, grounding Sam as she slowly came back down to earth. As she slowly became aware of her surroundings, Jack felt Sam pulling on his hair, trying to pull him back up to her. Giving in to her wishes, he crawled back up her body, leaving a wet trail of kisses in his wake until he'd finally reached her mouth again. He wasn't very good with words but he poured everything he felt for her into his kisses as his tongue sought out every sweet hiding place in her mouth. Their tongues dueled, slipping and sliding against each other before retreating back into his mouth as he sucked on the strong muscle. Finally needing to come up for air, Jack rested his head on Sam's shoulder, covering it in hungry kisses as he fought to gain some control.

Sam felt like her body was still on fire, her need even greater than before. She needed to feel Jack moving inside her, but no amount of begging and pleading seemed to change what he had planned. Reaching down between their bodies where she could feel the evidence of his own arousal pulsing, she wrapped her small hand around as much of his shaft as she could manage and began to squeeze and stroke him, spreading the drops of precum that were weeping out.

“Please, Jack, I need to feel you inside me,” Sam pleaded as she guided him to her entrance. But, before she could succeed in her quest to have him inside her, Jack's hands wrapped around her smaller one, dragging it off to her side as he fought to hold back the release that had been threatening to erupt even before her touch.

Sam could feel his whole body trembling as he fought for control. He held his breath as he fought back the tides, not wanting this to end too soon.

“Not yet, Baby,” Jack whispered in her ear, turning his head slightly where he had it buried in her shoulder. Baring his teeth and biting into her shoulder, his body began to relax. His warm breath puffed over her ear, setting even more of her nerve endings ablaze as he continued to whisper.

“I won't last long inside you, Baby. I need you too much.” Jack's arms pulled her tight to his body as he tried to explain just how close he was. “I want to make this last, but I need you so much.” Pulling back slightly and staring deep into her passion-glazed eyes, he tried to make her understand all the things he couldn't put into words.

“I need you so much,” was all he could get out, repeating it over and over again as his hand idly brushed the hair back from her face.

Spreading her legs even wider, opening herself completely to cradle his hips better, Sam locked her long legs around Jack’s waist. Her fingers combed through his spiky, gray strands as she began to massage his scalp, hoping that simple ritual would bring him some of the control he sought.

“Don't hold back, Jack. We'll have plenty of time for slow and easy later. Right now I want to...need to feel you lose control. I need you to show me that you don't see me any differently because of everything that's happened. Make me feel it, Jack, please.”

Sam's plea was the final straw; he couldn’t hold back any longer. He'd so much wanted to take her hard and fast, but he’d been thinking solely of her, wanting to make it special for her, to show her how much he loved her. But now her words had given him permission to take her as he wanted, to lose control, to lose himself in her. No way did he see her any differently now and, if this was the way he could prove it to her, all the better.

“I could never see you any differently, Baby, no matter what. You're the strongest, bravest, most beautiful woman I've ever known,” Jack tried to reassure her as he pulled back, feeling himself sliding through her slick folds. He remembered how tight she'd been the last time and would never forgive himself if he hurt her in any way. He could feel her body quivering as it prepared to receive him. Holding his breath and praying for enough control not to force his way in too fast, he positioned himself at her entrance, pushing only the head into her very tight channel.

His breath exploded from his chest as he almost blacked out from the sweet grip she had on him. “Oh god, Baby, you're so tight. Am I hurting you?“ He could feel her muscles fluttering around his length as he pushed in deeper and deeper. Her sweet moans turned into ear-piercing screams as her body fought to accommodate him, and Jack hesitated.

“No, no. It’s okay. Don't stop, please, don't stop. I’m okay, I’m fine. Please don’t stop!” He was glad to hear that because he really wasn't sure he'd be able to stop at this point. Her screams finally turned to whimpers as he pushed in the last few inches. More for himself than for her, Jack held still once he felt her opening fluttering snuggly around the base of his shaft. As Sam spread her legs even wider and wriggled, he felt himself slide in even deeper.

“OHGOD!!! SHIT!!! Don't move, please. I swear I'm gonna blow. Not yet...not yet,” he continued to chant, fighting to hold out just a little longer. He tried every trick he'd learned during his life to beat back his release...hockey stats...Hammond naked...dead puppies…but nothing seemed to work, until he felt her soothing hands stroking through his hair once again, soothing his nerves and calming his needs.

Slowly he pulled out, leaving only the head inside her. Then, just as slowly, checking Sam was okay, he pushed his way back home. Feeling more in control and wanting this to be just as good for Sam as it was for him, he set a slow but powerful pace, pulling almost all the way out before thrusting back in with all of the force he could leverage with his toes planted and digging into the mattress. He could feel Sam's squeals vibrating through her chest and into his with each downward stroke as he crushed her clit between their pubic bones each time. He could feel that she was close; each time he found and hit her G-spot he could feel her back arch off the bed and her muscles fighting to pull him in even deeper.

Wanting to hold on to this moment for as long as possible, he gathered Sam in his arms and rolled them, catching her completely off guard as she found herself now above him. One hand came up to urge her to move, while his other hand came up to pull and twist first one breast then the other, each pull sending a spike of pleasure straight to her clit and pushing her on faster and harder as she rode him. He could see the sweat pooling and running down her chest even as his cooled and dried. He had held out far longer than he'd thought he'd be able to but now it was time to finish, to give them both the release they sought.

Reaching up and wrapping his arms around her waist, Jack pulled Sam down to lie on his body. “Hold on, Baby. Let me take care of you,” Jack warned as he sat up, taking Sam with him and continuing on over until he had her lying on her back with her head at the foot of his bed. Looping her legs over his arms and spreading her as wide as possible, he moved his hands up to her shoulders, tilting her pelvis up for maximum penetration. He could feel her hands playing with his chest hairs then attacking his tiny nipples before she was forced to wrap her arms around his back and hold on as he pounded into her. This new position allowed him to sink even deeper. He could feel himself lodging behind her cervix with each thrust, hitting her G-spot each time. With only a few strokes Jack could feel Sam's walls constrict, locking him in a pulsing death grip, pushing him over the edge, milking every drop of semen from him as they both exploded together, her screams matching his.

He couldn't be sure if one or both of them had passed out but, when he came back to himself, he had Sam cuddled in his arms, her head resting on his chest and her hand back to playing with his chest hairs. They just lay there together for a while, neither saying anything. He didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

“Hey. Are we okay? You're not having second thoughts about this, are you?” He pulled her head back so that he could look into her eyes, so that he'd be able to read the truth of her answer.

“We're more than okay, Jack. And I could never regret being with you.” Sam had sensed something was bothering him as she had lain there in his arms; she had felt him starting to tense up. But she knew that with Jack he would have to talk with her about it in his own time. To try to force it before he was ready would only make him pull further away from her. She was pretty sure that that was what had been bothering him and, planting several kisses on his chest, she hoped she'd laid those worries to rest now.

Jack placed another kiss on the top of her head and pulled her closer. “We'd better get some sleep; the guys will be here in a few hours.”

“Jack, what happens to us when we go back?” Sam asked, barely above a whisper, almost afraid to voice the question for fear of the answer.

“We work this out...do what we have to do to be together,” Jack answered with confidence.

“That easy? We just work it out?” As reassuring as his words were, they did nothing to calm her fears.

“That easy. I'm not giving you up, Sam. I've waited almost seven years. Now that I've got you, I'm not gonna let anything stand in the way of us being together.” Sam desperately wanted to believe him, but it just couldn’t be that easy, not for them.

“But…” Sam began, her logical mind presenting all sorts of stumbling blocks to his promised future. But Jack cut her off before she could voice any of them.

“But nothing. As long as this is what we both want, nothing can stand in our way. It is what you want Sam, isn't it?” Jack asked, as tiny threads of doubt began to overshadow his hopes for the future.

“Yes, you know it is. I want this just as much as you do,” Sam rushed to reassure him, not wanting to send him the wrong message because of her fears.

“Then we'll work it out. As long as we have each other, we can do anything.”

THE END

or is it only the beginning?????

Many, many thanks to everyone who's stuck with me through this long process. Thanks for all of your help, encouragement and very kind words. You have made this a wonderful experience that I will never forget. Thank you so much.

Remember I'd really love to hear from you...good, bad or otherwise. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Zhaan