Silenced Screams

Chapter Five







Sam became more and more hysterical as her mind was flooded with image after image of the nightmare she had been living recently. Disjointed flashes, sights, sounds, sensations, thoughts, fears all came rushing at her, each more gruesome than the last. Her training and resolve to be strong all crumbling in the face of the horrors visited upon her. Janet feared she'd be forced to sedate her again if she couldn't calm her soon. The thought of what Sam must have gone through sent fresh chills down her spine. The amount of pain and suffering required to reduce someone as strong as Sam to this point frighten her anew, even after seeing the evident of it on her body yesterday. It took the combined efforts of her and the Colonel several minutes to calm her enough to recount her experience and to answer questions. Questions unfortunately that had to be answered.







Eventually Sam felt calm enough to begin. Some of her old spirit and fight even returning as she insisted she could continue. Her monotone voice, totally devoid of any emotion spoke volumes as she attempted to disassociate herself from the nightmares she was describing.







"I got home really late Friday night. There were some test I wanted to complete before I started my downtime, especially since General Hammond said I wouldn't be allowed back on base until after our downtime. I left right after Daniel and Teal'c gated to meet up with Bra’tac and Rya‘c, so it was probably around 0100 when I got home. I...I remember...I was gonna take a nice long relaxing bath. I had run the water. I don't remember if I did...no...no...when I started out of the kitchen...down the hall...someone was there...he grabbed me from behind...he held this cloth over my mouth and nose. I tried to fight...then nothing. The next thing I remember...I woke up in this room, more like a cell I guess. The room had a bed and a chair in it. It was all kinda fuzzy, like none of it was real. It didn't make any sense, I felt like I was floating.”







“That was the effect of the drugs we discovered in your system.” Janet supplied.







Sam gave a small nod as she continued. “I remember noticing I didn't have any clothes on, but for some reason that didn't seem to bother me. Then I heard this voice...” Her eyes again glazed over as she relived what she had been through. “...there must've been some kinda speaker in the room cause I remember thinking he sounded like he was in a tin can. For some reason it was funny. I kept laughing...couldn't stop myself. The room was kinda dark. No windows, the only light, from some where outside of the room. The voice told me to move over against the wall...I got up and moved...that's when I noticed I had no clothes on, but the voice said it was okay. I don't know who he was, I don't remember ever seeing his face clearly. Every time I looked at it, it looked like it was melting and sliding off. All distorted and runny. He gave me a shot of some...thing then everything got really cloudy and fuzzy.”







Sam had stopped as though checking information in her head before she could continue. “Then he tied me to this chair. He started talking to me through that speaker thing again. I did something to make him mad, I remember thinking that...that I had done something to make him mad, because he started hurting me. He had this thing that felt like some sorta hose he used to beat me. I was tied to this chair and he was beating me...and talking to me...telling me stuff. I tried to concentrate on his words so I'd know what I did wrong but the sounds he was making didn't make sense...didn't even sound like English. It just sounded like gibberish. But then it changed...I understood the words. He just kept repeating them over and over. He said...'They tell you no one ever gets left behind, but it's a lie. They leave people behind all the time. You've been left behind. Wanna know what they do to the ones who are left behind?' She spoke in a measured monotone until now, now her words were spoken almost in a sob as she tried and failed to hold her emotions in check. “...He knew my name 'cause he kept saying it over and over again. 'Wanna know what they do to the ones left behind Major Carter? You've been left behind Major Carter.'"







Her voice had changed as she spoke. Going from her monotone detached retelling of events to a choked sob as she fought to hold back the tidal wave of emotions threaten to over take her. It took several long minutes for her to regain her composure before she could continue.







It seem like the more he talked the clearer things became. He continued to beat me with his hose. When I'd pass out he'd douse me with his bucket of ice water. Then he moved on to the thing that felt like a pain stick. Beating me sometimes, shocking me at other times. I could never get a good look at him. The room was too dark. I tried to talk to him...find out what he wanted...who he was, but he just kept repeating... 'You've been left behind Major Carter.' Wanna know what they do to the ones left behind Major Carter? All the time beating me and shocking me and kicking me. I tied everything I could to get free but he just kept injecting this...stuff into me then everything would start getting fuzzy and strange, and I didn't have anymore control. He would beat me and make me do... things... things I didn't want to do. And he kept telling me over and over again. 'You've been left behind Major Carter.' 'Wanna know what they do to the ones left behind Major Carter?'”







“Oh my God.” She was crying and shaking uncontrollably. Deep heart-wrenching sobs torn from her very soul. The machines monitoring her vitals beeping loudly in the background as Janet and Jack tried to calm her and reassure her that she was safe.







"It's okay Sam. You're safe now. He can't hurt you anymore. Come on, breath deeply. Calm down. Relax it's all over now." Janet assured her with her words and tone while Jack continued to sooth her nerves, rubbing and petting her hand like you would a frighten child. It took several long minutes before the machines quieted and Sam was able to continue.







The next time he drugged me he tied me to the bed. I could feel what was happening, but I was powerless to stop him...just laid there while he tied me down. My body obeyed everything it was told. After he had me tied down he left me. I don't know how long, but the fuzziness was passing, I could think a little, feel the panic start. When he came back into the room he didn't hit me with the hose...he didn't shock me. He said 'Some times they get bored and you have to entertain them.' That's when he started…raping me." She broke down in tears, crying and shaking, not able to continue for a while.







After a while she continued. "Even when he was raping me I couldn't get a good look at his face. It was all distorted, his voice sounded strange. And he kept talking to me. Telling me all the things that would happen to me because I had been left behind. He kept telling me that no one would come looking for me. That no one cared. I'd been left behind so I was on my own from now on." The tears were running a steady stream down her face. The silent evident of the horrors she had been subjected to. Her body the battlefield upon which the war was being waged. The strong Air Force Officer, Major Samantha Carter able to handle any situation and report back to her superiors and the woman, Samantha Carter who had been tortured and rape.







"He raped me over and over again. Always telling me I had been left behind. Telling me what they would do to me and how. Telling me that it was just something to pass the time, something to entertain them. Choking me some times when he would come, choking me until I would pass out. He said 'sometimes they like to experiment and see just what you could take', and he'd rape me with the first thing he could get his hands on. Rough and brutal and full of rage. He would just come in to the room and start telling me what they would do to the ones left behind. Sorta like narrating all the things he was gonna do to me. And he would continue until I had passed out from the pain. I would wake up and he would be gone. Then he would come back and it would start all over again. He never asked me any questions...he didn't want any information from me...he just wanted to hurt me...and keep on hurting me. I don't know what I did so wrong...what I did to make him so mad...to make him wanna hurt me so.”







No amount of comfort helped and soon Janet was forced to sedate her again. As the medicine started to calm her down Janet finally asked.







"Sam, how did you finally escape? How did you get away from him? The Colonel found you in the alley behind your house around 0330. You were just laying there in the snow. How did you get there?







"I don't know. I woke up and I was laying in the snow, but I couldn't move. I felt like I was drifting, nothing seemed real, more like I was dreaming. I don't know how I got there. Whether I broke out or was dumped there. We don't ever leave our people behind, do we Sir?" She just kept repeating that over and over again. "He was wrong, we don't ever leave our people behind. We don't ever leaving our people behind." She just kept repeating on every sob over and over again, holding on to Jack's hand for dear life. He could feel the constant tremble slowly start to lessen as she drifted on off to sleep.







Janet sit quietly with her head down, waiting for the rage to start. Busying herself straightening the covers over Sam and deposing of the syringe the nurse had brought Sam's sedative in. She finally took a deep breath and decided to face Jack full on. What she saw froze her to her spot. One hand still held Sam's protective, gently stroking and petting it as you would a frighten child. But the look on his face was pure rage. A barely contained fury set to blow at any moment. She imagined it might be the face that was sent off on missions when they needed a cold calculating killing machine to perform without mercy.







"Jack…" Janet began, but that was as far as Jack allowed before bolting from his chair and turning all his pent up rage to her.







"Don't, just don't. I don't want to hear it." He growled from between clenched teeth, his hands balled into tight fist at his side as he tried to bring some control over all the emotions flooding him now. He stormed out of the room and Janet could hear the various airmen apologizing and clearing him a path.







Shaking her head Janet took several deep calming breaths before following after him at a much more controlled pace. She found him standing at the elevator. It was good that she'd had the for thought to make sure Dixon was nearby. Jack was in no condition to be loose on an unsuspecting population. It was hard for her to control her own rage at the moment, for Jack it would be so much worst.







"Jack."







"Dix I'm about this far away from breaking someone's neck. And right now I don't really care who's. So, just back off, okay."







"Okay, but ya do know drinking right now may not be…"







"Who said I was going to be drinking? I said back off." Jack snarled just as the elevator doors opened. He entered and the doors closed while Janet and Dixon watched.







Dixon looked at Janet. "Now what?" She shook her head unsure the best way to handle things now.







"I honestly don't know. Keep up with him and just don't let him do anything we'll all regret later. I'll clear you as off base with General Hammond. You just keep an eye on him and get him home safe.







He sat in the far corner of...'what was this, his fourth or fifth bar, going over what Sam had told them. Downing one drink after another. ‘ Hadn’t Sahara said something about 'being left behind'? Or was it the alcohol playing with his mind. Were they really similar? Was it possible that the same person who’d done that to Sahara thirty years ago return to harm Sam? No he told himself and shook it off. It’s not possible, I’m just seeing things that aren’t there.’ And he drank. ‘It’s all in my head.’ And he drank. It just wasn’t possible. And he drank. It couldn’t be true. And he drank.






To Be Continued





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