Dylan's Little Secret

BY : Lursa_and_BeTor
Category: 1 through F > Andromeda
Dragon prints: 1679
Disclaimer: I do not own Andromeda, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

It has been some day. Dylan crumples gold wrapping paper as he digs deeper in a pink shopping bag. He and Tyr spent the entire morning buying upgrades for Andromeda’s weapons systems. Then Tyr left to look for Vedran caviar, which left Dylan free to indulge in his own interests.

Dylan finds what he is seeking and sets the package aside. He poses before the full-length mirror, studying his image. He slides a hand down his chest and cups himself. The force lance is looking good. As always. Elssbett had been quite impressed with it. Well, she should have. The woman would certainly never see a better one…or bigger.
Dylan gives it a last fond pat before leaning forward, running a hand through his hair. That “No Gray, No How” dye for men really works very well. He cannot spot a single gray strand. He turns, pausing to eye his profile. No sagging. Good. He looks over his shoulder, studying his back. Looking good. His ass is as perky as ever.

Dylan turns and picks up the small package. He unfolds the paper and removes the contents. He pulls it on. The satin feels so smooth and cool against his skin. He shivers.

Alarm klaxons blare, making Dylan jump. Andromeda’s voice echoes in the bathroom.

“Red Alert. Unauthorized intruders. Red Alert! Internal Defenses are online.”

Dylan stands close in front of the screen so that all Beka and Rommie can see is his face and shoulders. “Report!”

“Intruders have boarded the ship, Dylan.” Beka frowns at her console. “It looks like they’re…Nanobots.”

“How did that happen?”

“Evidently they stowed away on the Maru.” Beka asks, “Did you notice anything odd on your way back from Folsom Drift?’

“No, I didn’t.”

“Sorry to pull you out of the shower.” Beka adds.

“Shower?” Dylan’s brow wrinkles in confusion.

“Yes. Shower. Behind you?” Beka looks pointedly behind Dylan.

“Oh yes…yes…just…ah…freshening up before shift.” Dylan laughs nervously. “I’ll be right there.”

“That won’t be possible, Dylan. The nanobots are attacking my systems. Some of my basic functions are offline.” Rommie announces. “The doors are a little…sticky.”

“Sticky?” There is a note of alarm in Dylan’s voice.

“Yeah, Dylan. Don’t worry.” Beka smiles. “We’ve got Harper and Tyr on the way to your quarters to get you out.”

“Tyr…great…this just keeps getting better and better.” Dylan mutters.

“Ship, Where is Captain Hunt?” Tyr demands as he runs down the corridor. Harper jogs lightly behind the Nietzschean.

“Captain Hunt is in his quarters.” Andromeda’s tone is faintly puzzled. “Tyr. I can’t open the doors inside his quarters. He’s locked inside in the bathroom.”

“How is that possible?”

“He engaged privacy mode just before the Red Alert.”

“What?” Harper squeaks. “Why would he do something stupid like that?”

“No idea, little professor.”

“Heh, heh, maybe Captain Fantastic wanted to fine tune his ‘force lance’ before bridge duty.” Harper snickers.

“Most amusing.” Tyr responds dryly as they stop in front of Dylan’s quarters.

“This should only take a moment.” Harper removes the hand plate and clips a couple wires together to reroute access. “Voilà!”

The men walk into Hunt’s quarters. Colorful scraps of silk, satin and lace are scattered everywhere. Harper picks up a lacy black throng and shakes his head. “Wonder what happened here?”

“I’m sure I don’t know.” Tyr stares down at a pink shopping bag, peeking coyly out of a plain brown bag. Tyr gingerly picks it up and reads the name. His eyes widen. “Intimate Illusions?”

Harper and Tyr stare at each other then at the piles of cloth littering the room. Harper cackles. “Women’s lingerie! Dylan must have bought something for a special luuuuv interest.”

“I don’t think so.” Tyr uses the tip of his gauss rifle to lift a peach satin bra.

“You don’t think…” Harper’s eyes widen. “Dylan isn’t…you don’t think he’s…”

“I do.”

“Hot damn, Dylan’s a trannie!”



“Ah…yes…it would appear so.”

Harper dashes over to the bathroom door. “Dylan! You in there?”

“Just get me out, Harper!”

A few seconds later, the door opens. Dylan steps out, wrapped in a large white towel.

“There ya go boss.” Harper quips. “Free at last.”

“Good work, guys. Thank you. You can both go now.”

“Your hair is not wet.” Tyr remarks.

“Oh, I, uh…blew it dry while I waited.

“The towel is also not wet.” Tyr’s eyes light with evil glee as Harper stands behind Dylan, pointing at the shell pink straps peeking over the towel edge.

“I got a fresh one.” Dylan’s voice is grim. “You can go now.”

“We will wait to accompany you to the bridge.” Tyr leans against the wall.

“Don’t mind us boss.” Harper plops down on the bed. He pretends to notice the lingerie for the first time. Something sheer and blue dangled from his fingers. “Whoa! What’s this?”

“Looks like a bra to me, Harper.” Tyr smiles as he watches the rush of color in Dylan’s face. “Been shopping Dylan?”

“This is not what you think, Tyr.”


Harper holds up a blue satin number edged with white feathers. “I don’t know what Tyr’s thinking. But I’m thinking you did a little personal shopping while you were away.”

“Right you are, Harper.” Dylan draws himself up. “I was purchasing a few things for a lady friend.”

“And which friend would that be?” Tyr asks.


“Bolivar’s wife!” Tyr laughs. “Is that the best lie you could come up with?”


“Not her size.” Harper eyes a turquoise bra.

“How do you know this, little man?” Tyr narrows his eyes at Harper.

“Don’t go all Über, babe.” Harper grins. “I’ve lived with Beka a lot longer than you guys have. I’ve done her laundry for god’s sake!”

“Dylan. We don’t have all day.” Tyr says. “Change so we can go.”

“Oh hell.” Dylan snaps. He drops the towel. Pink satin tap pants cling to him.

"Captain..." Tyr looks him up and down. “I don’t think pink is really your color.”

The End

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