Chapter 18
Now I'm on my feet again
Better things are bound to happen
All my dues surely must be paid
Many miles and many tears times were hard
But now they're changing
You should know that I'm not afraid
-Ready for Love
-Bad Company
Tags: M/M, Handjob, Incest, Anal
Waking sometime in the middle of the night, Dean's hand automatically went to the gun that he kept under the pillow. Some noise, somewhere, woke him and he couldn't place what it was. Considering what he knew of things that went bump in the night, it was always better safe than sorry in these situations. Hand on the butt of the gun, he waited for a minute, listening intently, then relaxed. It was just the sound of the wind howling and driving the snow against the window in hard little pings, nothing more. Letting go of the gun and slipping his hand back out from under the pillow, he rubbed his eyes, groaning softly. He was safe here, more so than anywhere else they had ever stayed, yet he couldn't get rid of that instinct. It was there and he had to deal with it.
Stretching slightly, he was about to shift position when he found that he couldn't move. Brow furrowed, he looked down then rolled his eyes. It seemed that Sammy was using him as a body pillow, draped over him partially, one arm thrown across his chest, head resting on his shoulder, peacefully sleeping. With as big as his little brother was, he was all but pinned in place. Despite the fact that he couldn't move, he couldn't help but grin at the situation. Then, one arm snaked out and wrapped around his brother, holding him close, rubbing his back softly. It was just like when they were kids and Sam had a bad dream. He would always crawl into bed with him and curl up like this. Difference now was the sheer size of his brother and him cuddling up made it impossible to move. But, despite the inability to shift around, he wasn't going to complain or make him move. Sam had a rough day so, if this provided comfort, he was going to allow it. Hand sliding up, he began to comb his fingers through Sammy’s hair, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He had forgotten what it felt like to be the being that his brother went to for comfort. It felt good. Something about it seemed to take him back to the time when there weren't the problems between them the way there were as they grew into adults and the only thing they had to worry about were those big, bad nasties that plagued them. Now, well, things were far more complicated then when they were kids, moving from place to place with their dad. Sighing, he shut his eyes, focusing on the feeling of his brother breathing, his chest moving against him. He could feel the heat from that arm draped over him against his chest, something that felt good in many ways. That pure pleasure from the memories of the past was now mingled with the other feelings he had for Sammy. It wasn't right, hell, he knew that! And there was more than a tiny curdling of guilt over it but he was helpless to put an end to them either. Feeling Sam this close to him, being able to feel his body heat radiating next to him, made all those wants float to the surface. With those also came the inevitable rising of flesh that always accompanied them nowadays. That part he cursed, silently. For the most part, since arriving here, it had been under control. With what had happened, it seemed to keep such things at bay. But, now, they were back. Shaking his head, he tried to rid himself of the images of how he could wake Sammy up then press for what he wanted. It wasn't the time for that, he knew it. He could, he would admit, be the world's most insensitive jerk at times but, in this case, he wasn't going to allow that to happen. Too much was riding on it and the thought of what his brother must be dealing with was enough to cool it down to where he had it under control. Scrubbing his free hand over his face, he then let it drop to thread through Sammy's hair once again, smiling slightly at the pleased sounds his brother was making in his sleep at his touch. Keeping it up, he shut his eyes then just listened and felt. While doing that, something new bubbled up inside him; panic. The full force of what he agreed to, something monogamous with his brother, wasn't anything he had really considered before. Sure, with Cassie and, maybe, Lisa, he had thought about it but often wondered if he could pull it off. After all, he was too much of a ladies man to really settle down for long. But this... it was different. This wasn't just some random chick somewhere, this was his brother. He had agreed to it before Sam would consent. That made it to where he had to keep the promise. Because this was his brother, it wouldn't do to fuck up like that. Some random chick, or even one he cared about, wouldn't be as bad as his brother walking out of his life forever or no longer trusting him. That, to him, would be devastating! No, he wasn't going to screw it up! To do so would be crushing! But the worry about it not working out, that it being just another sexual conquest of some kind, came to mind as well. That, truly, bothered him in a way he couldn't fathom. So, the way he saw it, there were two choices. One, he could drop the whole thing now and forget it. Or, two, stick to his promise. Thinking it over, he decided the want, no, NEED, was so great that he didn't think he could ever drop it. As ingrained as it seemed to be right now, he didn't think it would ever go away. If he tried to go that route, it would just drive him batshit, especially knowing that Sam had agreed to go there. Nor, after the things they had done on cam, would the imagery ever leave him. He was certain that if he tried to ignore it, what he had seen and they had talked about would drive him nuts until he relented then pushed for it. No, it was best to go there now and save himself the pain that was sure to come from it. Somehow, when he made that choice, a weight in his chest seemed to lift and he smiled. From someone that went on gut instinct for so much of what they did, that choice, though internal, felt 'right' and as though it was meant to be. That made him feel better for some unknown reason. Feeling more relaxed about it, he shifted around slightly, taking special care not to wake Sam, then held his brother slightly closer than before. Pressing tighter to him, he gave a soft sigh then shifted his thoughts to another topic so he could get some sleep.
Sam woke to the sound of the wind howling outside, buffeting against the side of the small house, the windows rattling loudly. But, despite that, he was warm and felt great. The reason for that was something he quickly became aware of; he was curled around Dean like he was some kind of teddy bear or something. Though part of him felt that he should be embarrassed or something, the other part liked it in a way that he wasn't entirely comfortable with. With the way Dean's arm was wrapped around him, holding him close to his body, he felt safe and protected in a way that he hadn't in a long time. The whole bit with Ruby seemed to fade into the background because of it. It was still there, like a painful twinge here and there in the back of his mind but it wasn't so in your face the way it had been since it happened.
Shifting around, he glanced over his shoulder at the window and winced. His internal clock told him it was about the normal time he woke up every morning but it was still dark outside, testament to how bad the weather was. With that, the million things that came along with what needed done that morning, everything from going out and getting more wood for the fireplace to starting breakfast, came to mind, making him sigh. If it were just him in the house, he would snuggle back up then go to sleep again but Dean was here and not used to the bone chilling cold that came with storms up this far north. Since it would be plenty cold when they finally rolled out of bed, Dean would spend a good half an hour bitching because the house would be chilly, the heater unable to keep up with the temperatures outside. It was best to get the fireplace going while the coffee was brewing to stave off that. Not to mention that he had something urgent to take care of. With a deep internal sigh, he resigned himself to getting up, steeling himself for the cold he was going to feel the second he crawled out from under the covers. Shaking his head, he, as gently as he could, extracted himself from Dean, making sure not to wake his brother, then slid out of bed, wincing as his feet came into contact with the cold floor, shivering as the chilly air came in contact with his warm skin. Quickly, he slid into his slippers and housecoat then made his way to the bathroom, grumbling to himself, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. After taking care of what he needed to, splashing some water on his face and dealing with all he usually did first thing in the morning, he thought he was ready to face the day then do what was needed. Trudging back out of the bathroom, making sure that the robe was wrapped tightly around him, he was ready to grab his clothes then get to work.
Stepping into the room, he saw Dean awake, rubbing his eyes and already bitching about how cold it was. Grinning, he said, “I'll make some coffee then go get some wood to start the fireplace. It'll warm up soon enough.” Muttering under his breath, Dean slipped out from under the covers, putting his feet on the floor then yelped at the cold from the room and the floor. “Fuck that!” He snarled. “Just come back to bed and wait until it warms up. It's too damned cold in here! What they hell did you do, Sammy? Turn the heat down before we went to bed?” Shaking his head while he pulled out some warm clothes, Sam grinned, “No, Dean, I didn't touch it. The heater just can't complete with what's going on outside. Hence the fireplace. Once I get that going, it'll warm up quickly to something comfortable.” Grabbing the robe that Sammy had laid out for him on the chair by the bed, Dean wrapped the miles-too-big thing around him then trudged to the bathroom, still bitching. Sam just watched him, amused, shaking his head. When the elder Winchester walked back in, Sam was stripped down to his boxers, sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling his socks on. Grinning, he dashed across the room then tackled his brother, pushing him back onto the bed before crawling into it himself and yanking the covers over the both of them. “I said, let's wait until it warms up before we face the day. This is better than that cold ass shit!” Laughing, trying to extract himself from his brother's grip, Sam replied, “Trust me, Dean, it's not going to get much warmer today than it already is. At least not enough to make the house feel warm enough unless I get up and start the fireplace. With the wind, it's just not going to warm up.” Dean grunted then snorted, curling back up. “Why the hell did Bobby have to stick your ginormous ass in the arctic circle? Wasn't there somewhere nice and warm he could put you? Of course friggin' not! He had to pick somewhere designed to make me freeze my damned balls off! To hell with that! We're staying here for a while! At least until my nuts crawl back out of my body!” Shaking his head, grinning, Sam conceded that Dean could, indeed, stay in bed until he got things warmer in the house. But, to do that, his brother had to let him go so he could go get the wood. This resulted in a wrestling match between the two because Dean was unwilling to let the gigantic furnace that was his brother out of the bed, thus making him colder. Though Sam was bigger and more muscular, Dean was no slouch in the strength department, more wiry and flexible than his brother. Plus, he had the advantage of knowing all Sammy's weaknesses thus, very quickly, having him flat on his back on the bed, straddling him, pinning his hands to the bed, grinning in victory. “Give, Sammy?” He asked, tone smug. Chuckling and smiling up at his brother, he said, “No way, Dean!” Then he proceeded to try to buck him off, wiggling around. They really hadn't goofed around like this since they were much younger but it was fun nonetheless. Holding tight to his brother's body with his knees, Dean kept a grip on his hands, riding out the attempts to throw him off or Sam to move around too much. “Dude, give it up! You've lost, admit defeat!” “Never!” Sam declared valiantly, squirming all over, trying to extricate himself from his older brother's grip though knew, with Dean having him pinned, he wasn't going to get loose. They had done this enough in the past that he knew once he was on his back, he was done for. Knowing it was a wasted effort and that he was the victor, even if Sam wouldn't admit it yet, Dean just held on, that cocky grin still plastered on his face. Eventually, Sam would give up in a huff and admit he had won, it was only a matter of time. Though they had done this countless times in the past when they were younger when it really was just a round of roughhousing designed to burn off some energy and have some fun, this time, quickly, it turned into something different from both their ends. Dean was fairly certain that he was the one that first noticed it. When they started, he hadn't paid attention to his positioning but as Sam bucked and thrust, he realized that he was straddling his crotch. With each movement, they both rubbed together in a way that soon had Dean starting to sport the first stirrings of an erection. Very quickly after that, it had grown to full mast and he could feel Sam's own hard-on pressing against his. Though the whole thing was a round of play, it was looking to progress somewhere else. And it would be if Dean had anything to say about it! As Sam's struggles lessened, it seemed that the rubbing against each other had taken a more erotic turn, something like frottage rather than struggles to get loose from his grip. This was when Dean decided to see how far he could push things and where it would lead if he did. Gripping Sammy's hips tighter with his knees to hold on, he then ground his crotch fully against his brother's, rubbing their erections together before leaning down and kissing his brother passionately. Letting loose of Sam's hands, something he was worried about in case his brother shoved him off, he then buried his fingers in the mass of hair, holding him close while he continued to frot against him.
On Sam's end, once he was pinned down and things began to rub together in a way that he would admit to liking, whatever struggles he was making were just for show, because it was expected of him, nothing more. All he was really thinking about was how good it felt then that he really did want to go there with Dean even though it still wasn't the most comfortable topic in the whole world. It was, after all, one thing to do it over the computer like they had but another entirely to go there in person. But he wanted it, more than he would admit to anyone aloud. But, being still torn about it, he was going to let Dean make the first move. That was something that he was more comfortable with.
Finally, when it seemed that he was going to start asking for it anyway, whether he wanted to or not, Dean made that move. That's when Sam threw himself into the thing with gusto. While their lips were locked in a heated kiss, he wrapped his arms around his brother's waist and pulled him tighter to his body, grinding up on him, wanting more friction to escalate the deep throbbing pulse that was already there. Yes, for the first time, he was willing to admit that he wanted to go 'all the way' with his brother and it was more than just a fantasy the two of them shared or something that they did over the computer. It was finally real and he wanted it.
Sam's kiss was all the encouragement that Dean needed to press on for more. For months, he had wanted this and it was time to go there so he wasn't going to back off now. Though nervous in a way he hadn't been with a sexual partner in a long time, he wasn't going to let it stop him. After prying Sam's mouth open with his own and letting their tongues dance for a few moments, Dean pulled back. Panting heavily, skin flushed, he looked down at his brother and saw he was in about the same condition. Knowing Sam the way he did and how his big brain over thought things, he was going to press on before he could formulate any kind of reason as to why they should stop or want to talk it out before it continued. Quickly, he shimmied out of his own clothes, what little he had on then went to work on Sam's. Once he had winged them somewhere across the room, he covered his brother's body with his own and ground on him again while resuming the heated kissing.
Sam's arms wrapped around him, pulling him close, arching up to rub his own body against Dean's. It seemed that Sammy wasn't going to back out on him after all! That pleased Dean more than he cared to admit.
Taking advantage of the position, Dean arched his hips slightly then reached down between them. Grabbing both their cocks in one hand, he held onto them and stroked the best he could, moaning in his brother's mouth at the sensation wrought by the action. There was nothing in his life or past sexual escapades that could even compare to what he was feeling from this. Feeling his own brother's rock hard cock throb against his own as he stroked it was immensely arousing in a way he couldn't describe. The heat from both of their organs infused his palm and he could feel the sticky wetness of the pre-cum mingling on his hand as it dripped from both of them.
Stroking both of them a few times as their lips remained locked, Dean was relishing the soft mewling, almost pleading in some way, sounds that were coming from Sam. It was better and more arousing than the countless women that had begged him for whatever they wanted in the past. Gripping both their cocks harder, he rubbed them together a few more times before releasing them then pulling back. Breaking off the kiss, he looked down at his brother's flushed face, panting heavily himself. The look of lust that greeted him, pupils blown wide open, lips swollen, was among the most arousing thing he had ever seen. Feeling his whole body throb from the sensations of the acts and his cock give a needy twitch, he pulled himself away. Reaching out to the bedside table he recognized from all the times he had seen it on cam, he opened the drawer then began to fumble around for the tube of lube that Sam always kept there. Finding it quickly, he pulled it out then slammed the drawer shut. Leaning down to kiss Sam once more, letting their tongues entwine, he shifted the two of them around slightly until he was on his knees between his brother's spread legs. Scooting forward slightly, he shifted until Sammy's legs were propped on his thighs, spread. Though he hadn't done this with a guy before, he assumed the basic mechanics were the same as with a woman, Sam had told him that as well at some point, so that's how he was going to go about things. Later on, after this time, they would delve into other things. When he had things right the way he wanted them, he broke off the kiss then pushed himself into an upright position. Looking down at Sam, he licked his lips then, with shaking hands, fumbled around before managing to get the lube open. Squirting a liberal amount on his hand, he slid it downwards until one of his fingers was at his brother's rear entrance. Tickling the puckered entrance with one well lubed finger, he grinned at the gasp then moan his brother let out from being touched there. That was definitely a signal he was doing something right! Easing one meaty finger into his brother up to the third knuckle, he watched Sam's face for discomfort. There appeared to be a moment, right at the initial intrusion, that smoothed out to something that easily spoke of pleasure. Twisting his finger around, thrusting it, he fucked his brothers ass a few times, loosening him up, before inserting another. The loud whimpering moan he received in response was enough to tell him that his Sammy was feeling no discomfort from it. By the time he inserted the third and was scissoring them to ensure his brother's discomfort was at a minimum, Sammy was writhing all over the bed, arching his hips and pressing down on Dean's hand. That was, he was certain, the best signal Dean was going to get telling him he was ready. Sliding his fingers out, Dean quickly squirted more lube on his hand then stroked it on his twitching, throbbing cock. Moaning himself from the sensation and just how horny he was, he quickly removed his hand for fear of ending the encounter before it really began. Positioning himself at the loosened pucker, he leaned over his brother's body, propped up on one hand then began to, once more, kiss Sammy passionately, tongue slipping back into his mouth. While doing that, with a slow thrust of his hips, he began to ease his cock in past the tight ring of muscle at his entrance. Feeling his brother stiffen up under him, hands going up to his shoulders and fingers digging in slightly, he waited to see if Sam was going to protest or ask him to stop. However, that didn't happen. The only thing Sammy did was start kissing him back more passionately, clinging to him. With a steady pressure, he kept pressing inwards until the head of his cock finally breached the hole then slid all the way in until Dean's hips were flush against his brother's ass. Breaking off the kiss, Sam arched up then panted out, “Fuck me, Dean! Don't wait!” Already the sensations were sparking through his whole nervous system, making his skin prickle and his cock throb. Reaching down between them, he began to stroke his cock while pressing down on his brother's buried deep in his ass, trying to get him to move. Following the heated directive, Dean made a couple tentative thrusts, trying to find the exact rhythm he wanted, before setting into a hard driving pace, fucking his brother's ass harder than he ever had any woman in the past. Though he knew that Sammy wasn't as delicate or willowy as the chicks he was used to dealing with, he had still been concerned about hurting him. But, from the way Sam was grinding down on him and thrusting slightly to meet his own, that soon fell by the wayside and he was driving into him with some considerable force. The sounds of flesh slapping against flesh, loud moans from both of them as well as a few dirty words were soon filling the room. Sam, much to Dean's surprise, was a rather vocal lover, a foul mouthed one at that. The word fuck came into play quite often, especially when followed by the words me and Dean. That, the older Winchester would admit, was something he liked. Panting and moaning himself, Dean fucked her brother's ass hard and fast, holding onto one of Sam's hips tightly while the fingers on his other hand dug deeply into the bedding below it. Grinding and thrusting into his brother, teeth clenched tightly, sweat dripping down his body, all Dean could think was that Sam needed to hurry because he wasn't going to last much longer. He wanted to make sure that his brother found his end first before he let go but, with the way he felt and the hot knot that was pulsing deep in his belly, he wasn't going to take much longer. As hot and tight as Sammy's ass was, this was the best fuck he had ever experienced, bar none! “Come on, Sammy, cum for me!” He managed to grit out. Jerking his cock faster, Sam ground down on the dick in his ass, panting and moaning Dean's name continuously. Body covered in sweat, eyes half lidded, he finally arched up off the bed as the hot knot in his belly burst, shooting sparks throughout his body then came, howling his brother's name, splattering both their chests with his cum. Feeling the tight orifice he was in spasm then clench around his already throbbing cock was all Dean could take. Head dropping back, he let out a scream of Sam's name then came himself, flooding his brother's ass with his spend before collapsing on top of him, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath, his whole body tingling.
After both of them cleaned up they crawled back into bed and snuggled up once more with Dean holding Sam tightly to him the way they had been before they woke. As the wind howled outside, driving the snow against the side of the small house, both brothers fell back to sleep, a small smile on each of their faces. There was no going back from this, they both knew it, but, somehow, they didn't seem to mind it or worry about the problems that were sure to come from it.