Flesh and Blood

BY : LeComtesse
Category: 1 through F > Andromeda
Dragon prints: 1104
Disclaimer: I do not own Andromeda, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Beka stepped onto the Andromeda, one of the last places she thought she would ever see again, but then she had forgotten, or perhaps hoped against this moment being inevitable. Gaheris was there to greet her. For a moment she had no words, or perhaps too many but with no way to express them, a heavy feeling settled in her chest.
“I came as soon as I heard.”
“Harper's like your family. If there's one thing a Nietzschean understands, it's loyalty.” He spoke as they walked, trying to remain professional and keeping his tone detached only adding after a few moments something he could not deny. “I miss you, Beka.” Beka inwardly winced, she had hoped they could avoid this but knew it unlikely.
“Gaheris, please don't think this means I plan to stay.” She spoke delicately although inside her emotions churned.
“It doesn't matter if you stay. You're here right now.”
“I think about you. A lot. But this thing between us can't work.” She wrestled with the words knowing that she didn’t want to say them as much as he didn’t want to hear them. If only things were different.
“Story of my life.” He gave a sad smile, knowing it was the case when she left but he still didn’t want to accept it. He let her walk away to Harper. As he carried on down the corridor the place rippled in distortion, he was on another deck, there were some of the original crew…

***
As Gaheris walked to the Obs deck the events of the day were still reeling in his head. They had saved Harper but lost Hohne, well someone had saved Harper… Trance. And that probably wasn’t even the craziest part of the day with all the jumping around realities, the cut and paste ship and the damage being experienced by Sintii.
When he entered the room Trance was already standing there looking out the window at the vast expanse of space.
“What am I supposed to do with you?”
“I don't know, keep me around I hope.” Despite the words the tone was nothing like the old Trance Gaheris had come to know, but he knew he couldn’t afford to lose another member of the crew, and even with all her secrets there was something about her that had always been useful to them. Something about her ways.
“I always knew you had your own plans, but I also knew that your plans and mine were basically the same - peace, order, a better universe.”
“My goals haven't changed.”
“Tell me how saving Harper and loosing Hohne changes anything from the bad future you came from. How does that set things right?”
“I don't know if it does. To tell you the truth, I didn't save Harper to change the past or the future for all I know I made things worse. I did it for the one reason that does matter. Because Hohne is a stranger and Harper is my friend.”
Gaheris nodded and smiled, as he had said to Beka what seemed like a lifetime ago, Nietzscheans understood loyalty. But more than that was this change in Trance, perhaps it was for the better.
“Honesty.” He remarked, giving her a meaningful look. “It makes a nice change.”
Trance’s face dropped a little, not at the compliment but the images racing through her mind.
“This could have been different.” Her voice was light, almost ethereal as she stepped forward to look intently into his eyes. “There are many futures of which this is but one… and one that might not have been. It’s all about choices Gaheris and you have to prove that I have made the right one.” Gaheris was frozen to the spot by that look in her eyes and the tone of her voice, she held him mesmerised as she moved a gentle hand to his cheek. “Don’t disappoint me Captain…” Putting herself on tiptoes she leaned up to whisper in his ear. “…rebuild the Commonwealth at any cost… the Magog are coming.”
Quietly Trance removed her hand and stepped back, looking once more deep into Gaheris’ eyes before turning and leaving the deck. For a moment Gaheris didn’t move, didn’t even realise that she had gone, though the last of her words still lingered like smoke in the air of his mind. He shook his head and looked back around Obs, trying to get his bearings.
“Andromeda… locate Beka” She had popped into the void Trance had just left in his mind. Now that Harper was better she would be leaving, he couldn’t just let her go, no matter how much he knew he should.

***

Beka looked at the Maru sitting neatly in the hangar as if it were designed for none other than her ship. Part of her didn’t even want to think about it, she knew if she thought about it too long she might have second thoughts about leaving. She didn’t notice Gaheris appear behind her.
“So you’re just going to leave again.” She didn’t answer but let her shoulders drop, she didn’t want to have to go through it again.
“I told you I wouldn’t be staying, and now that Harper is okay… there’s no reason for me to stay.” She forced the words out but somehow only half believed them. She could sense him reaching out to her, but before he had chance to put his hands on her shoulders she moved off towards the Maru. Hesitating for a moment Gaheris followed her, unable to leave things as they were.
“Please Beka…” He wasn’t going to beg but he wasn’t sure what else he could do. Life had been so much harder without her but he knew he couldn’t, and didn’t want to, stand in her way. Beka turned to face him, her features creased with pain and worry. No matter what happened or where she was she did love him, but she knew telling him that would only make things worse between them.
Gaheris stepped forward, closing the space between them, he wanted to hold her and comfort her but knew it was him that was causing her this pain. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.
The scent freezing in his nose, Gaheris’ face broke into a sad, slightly sardonic smile.
“There’s someone else.” He stated it as fact rather than asking her. Beka frowned, a little taken aback.
“Is that what you think?” Her anger was clear, disappointment as well. “You think I left the Andromeda… that I left you for someone else? Is that what you really think of me Gaheris?” She didn’t understand him sometimes, and now… she was hurt that he would believe that about her. His smile if anything grew more sardonic.
“I can smell him Beka… Telemachus Rhade! How long did you wait before meeting up with him? Is Rev with him now?” Gaheris didn’t want to step closer to her just in case the scent grew stronger, he didn’t want to know if it did.
Too hurt to know what to say, Beka’s first reaction was to slap him across the face. She tried to hold back the tears that were attempting to break through as she drew back her hand, still stinging.
“I already told you about Rev…” She sighed not sure which accusation to answer first, if any, her more pressing impulse being to shove Gaheris off her ship and take off. But something inside stopped her, she just didn’t want him thinking that about her, no matter how out of line he was. “I had some haulage work, my last one happened to be to Rhade, not that I knew that until I got there… that’s where I was when I got your message.” She didn’t even know why she was making the effort to explain. “Believe what you want! I’ve got more jobs waiting for me…” She started off to the cockpit.
“Beka wait!” Gaheris gently took one of her hands in his before she could get too far ahead. “I’m sorry… I…” Before she could protest his words dried up and he pulled her into him, crushing her against his chest in a tight embrace. “I do trust you.” Part of him wasn’t sure he meant it, the thought of her with Telemachus hurt his pride more than he would ever admit.
The words stabbed at her but she was unable or unwilling to pull back out of his arms. “Trust isn’t the point anymore…I left Gaheris, and when I did that ended any obligation we had to each other… we don’t owe each other anything.”
Gaheris was hurt by her words but knew he had no right to be. She was right, but he had spent so long trying to deny that she had left, that she wasn’t coming back. Right now he wasn’t sure of anything other than the fact that Beka was in his arms.
“I know. I just… I haven’t been able to let go.” It was hard for him to admit and he struggled over the words but he knew it was the truth. “I want things to be different but I don’t think they ever can be – I want to be enough for you Beka but I know I’m not, I know you wont stay for me.” He had no illusions about that. She had left, he hoped, because of the way things were with the Commonwealth, not because of him. But if she wouldn’t stay for Trance and Harper, even when he was so ill, he knew she would never stay for him. “I love you Beka.” He didn’t even try to stop the words, it was fact.
She hadn’t realised until it was too late her true feelings for Gaheris but telling him was pointless now. She just wanted the moment to last, even so she was surprised by Gaheris’ next words.
“Stay one more night. I know you were here for Harper but… stay with me, just one night, we’ll pretend things are how they should be…” He said the words with an encouraging smile and wouldn’t force the issue, but after everything he just couldn’t have her up and leave again, not so soon without spending any time with him.
Beka remained silent and still for a moment. She didn’t want any movement to hint at an answer she hadn’t found. Despite her best efforts she realised she had instinctively moved her hands from his chest up to the back of his neck. Her breathing was shallow as she thought of the good times they had had, she wanted him more than she could ever admit even though she knew this was probably not the best course of action.
“One night… But it doesn’t change anything…” She replied firmly, still trying to hide her own longing beneath the surface. His gentle grin and slight nod disappeared as he leaned down and kissed her hungrily, holding her as tight to him as he possibly could. Breaking the kiss he finally whispered to her ear.
“Thank you Beka.” He picked her up before she could say another word and carried her off the Maru and towards his quarters.

***

Beka grinned as they entered his quarters and he requested privacy mode as he set her to her feet and went to pour drinks. It was tidy and stark as usual but somehow colder, the only thing out of place was a small cushion on the sofa which had been missing from the Maru for a while now.
“I thought I was the thief!” She smiled, picking up the cushion.
“We all have hidden skills.” He passed her a glass and watched her intently as she took a sip. Just looking at her his skin tingled, not just lust, it was being around her again, spending time with her. “I’ll make you dinner.” He told her, setting his own glass back down and trying to look away. He could feel he was staring at her intently. “You mustn’t have eaten for a while.” He commented further as he finally pulled his gaze away and wandered to the kitchen, trying not to seem as though there was only one reason she was there.
“No, I suppose not. It’s been hectic what with Harper and well, the Trance thing and everything…” She agreed as she watched him turn his attention, almost intensely to the food. “Gaheris.” She spoke softly as she walked to his side and put her hand over his. “I’m not hungry… please lets just talk or something…” she let it lie in the air for a moment before answering the question she was subtly asking. “We don’t have anything to talk about I guess…”
“We have a lot to talk about, Beka. More of the stories we used to share, but it all seems a little pointless at this moment. I want to tell you everything that has happened since you left, the things I have done. What I have been thinking and feeling but it is of little use to either of us!”
“No.” Beka agreed “I suppose not, but maybe I want to hear about it anyway. Believe it or not Rhade, I have missed you too! I know Tyr always accused us of being nothing more than a convenience to one another, but I want you to know something I should have told you before I left. No matter what happens, I care for you! For me it wasn’t just physical, not always, and I miss that; the times we spent talking and laughing, you trying to teach me how to play Go… we were always more than just the sex even if others didn’t see that.”
Gaheris was mildly surprised by her words. He had known already, or at least hoped, that was the case but Beka had never before been so forthcoming with her feelings, usually side-stepping any attempt he made to delve into them. Leaving the food for a moment Gaheris moved to the sofa and sat, taking Beka with him by the hand. If she wanted to know then he would tell her.
“It’s been hard Beka. I’ve started to lose more worlds, even with Terazed behind us now, it will turn around, I know it but the ship is starting to fall apart. You and Rev leaving, Harper getting worse and worse… Tyr attempted to betray me.” He paused for a moment, looked into her eyes and then continued without missing so much as a beat. “after I killed him things were harder, we were another crewman down… I have no idea how to make things better, or even if that is possible. Now with Hohne dead our longest allies are probably going to leave us as well.” He spoke sternly, laying it on the line.
As he stopped Beka smiled softly. She knew she made the right choice for her but hated to see how it was affecting him. Placing a hand softly on his cheek she guided his lips to hers and kissed him slowly and gently.
“It’s been hard for me too, it always is on the fringes, I forgot how much easier life is on this ship. But I know things will turn around…” Her words stuck in her throat but she knew she had to force them out. “You have Terazed, that will start to sway people, and now you have the bones of Museveni, you could negotiate with the Nietzscheans…” The look in his eyes was so painful, she couldn’t help but believe or at least wish that his betrayal of Telemachus Rhade had merit, that it had helped him closer to his goal, maybe if he just tried harder. Sitting close to him, his burning warmth and the glint in his eye, she just wanted to comfort him and have him comfort her. Life was just too complicated, and she realised then there would be no good way of telling him about Telemachus’ plans, if she ever got up the nerve to. She looked back into his eyes, that sparkle was there even beneath his obvious worry, she couldn’t help her features soften and a small smile form.
He leaned in to take her lips once more, his hands now moving quickly across her body, hungrily trying to reacquaint himself with everything he had missed over the last few weeks. Beka’s actions mirrored his as she pulled herself over him, straddling him a she tried to push her body against his, brimming with longing.
Within moments Gaheris’ length was erect and throbbing with anticipation as Beka positioned herself above him, as he desperately tried to wish their clothes away, all the while pressing bruising kisses to her mouth. Moving his hands down her back to pull at her trousers and managing to pull them slightly down as he let a deep moan break from the back of his throat.
Beka groaned, she wanted him so much and so immediately. With effort she broke the kiss and moved back off him onto the sofa knowing it would give her greater opportunity to get out of her clothes. She had just managed to pull her trousers down to her thighs when his hands were on her again. Within seconds he had turned her so that she was pushed up against that back of the sofa as Gaheris managed his own trousers down to his thighs. Pushing his still clothed chest flat to her back he used a knee to spread her legs a little apart and entered her soft wetness. As he thrust into her he felt the need to consume her totally, wanting to be everywhere, do everything he could.
He reached his hands up, trying to push them under her vest to find her breasts, eventually ripping the restrictive clothing off instead. Beka moaned as she felt the vest rip and fall away, the moan turning into a deeper groan as his hands now reached aggressively around and took hold of her breasts, massaging them in time with his thrusts. Beka gripped the back of the sofa, bracing herself against his hard thrusts, at first wanting to be able to touch him but very soon losing any sense of it as he continued his ministrations.
Increasing his rhythm, pushing harder and faster into her with each movement Gaheris pulled a hand from her breast and worked it between her legs. Beka gasped, her legs giving way a little as Gaheris began to rub at her swollen clit. Instinctively she spread her legs a little wider apart, not only giving him access to her throbbing bud but also allowing him to plough deeper into her with each thrust. Groans coming with each panted breath, Beka rested her head on the back of the sofa, trying to hold on as long as she could. Trying to muster the strength to stop her quivering body melting away.
The smell of Beka’s sweat and juices was driving him crazy, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it as the one hand remaining on her breast had to be repositioned, wrapping it around her toned stomach, holding her too him as she threatened to collapse. Letting out several gasping groans, Beka reached her climax, her inner muscles gripping Gaheris and milking him hard, pulling him to his climax as he leaned over her and bit down hard on her shoulder, tasting blood as he came.
Panting, he pushed his body over hers, laying his head on her shoulder and crushing her further to the sofa, slowly wrapping his arms around her chest and abdomen. “Sometimes I want to stay inside you forever.” He muttered into her back as his breathing steadied, meaning it so very deeply, imagining remaining like this forever, still sheathed so perfectly inside her in that place meant only for him. He remained still a few more moments before laying a light kiss on her shoulder and moving away, sliding from her.
Beka finally turned when her breath calmed, though still not sure how to respond to his statement she was surprised to find he was gone. As she stood, feeling as though he was still inside her, she heard the shower start and walked through to the bathroom, finally stepping all the way out of her trousers and underwear.
As she entered the room Gaheris stood discarding the last of his clothes with his back to her.
“Gaheris?”
“I know in the past I have said too many things without thinking. I don’t want you to think I will pressure you to stay.” Without another word he stepped into the shower.
She frowned, opening the door and stepping after him into the shower.
Gaheris was slightly surprised that she joined him, in truth, despite earlier words, he half expected her to dress and leave. She had agreed to stay with him for the night but didn’t expect her to honour it – he could imagine her motivations had already been mostly fulfilled.
Beka yelped slightly as the water stung the fresh bite wound on her shoulder. Gaheris turned quickly at her noise and frowned a little as she reached a had up to shield the mark.
“Sorry. I got carried away.” He looked at the cut a little unsure for a moment whether to reach out to her or not. Beka broke into a grin and stepped into him, snaking her arms around him as the water bounced off them.
“That’s ok. It doesn’t matter.” She lay her lips softly on his chest hoping he had meant what he said about spending the night together regardless of the past, or the future. She wanted this night to be just them, now and nothing else.
At the feel of her soft kisses Gaheris let out a long breath and moved his arms around her. Tentatively he placed his mouth over the bite, running his tongue over it. As he did so Beka murmured, moaning softly, before her kisses on his chest turned to slight nipping bites, becoming more aggressive with each passing moment.
“Let’s just remember some of the good times…” Beka said, not realising at first that she had spoken the words aloud.

***

Trance sat at Harper’s side, watching him intently as he slept. She had snuck in, not wanting to wake the boy, he had been through so much. She brushed her fingers lightly down his cheek and leaned in, her lips next to his ear as she whispered.
“You have to help us Harper… we have to make this the right future.” She drew back again and looked at his still face with a smile on her lips, her good friend Harper, she would save him all over again in any present. But saving him wasn’t the only choice she had made that day, and that was the problem, because whether Harper lived or died was a small decision to make in comparison, letting Gaheris remain in this present was a greater issue. The future was unclear to some extent, but there were portents, signs that she should have chosen Dylan Hunt…
She looked once more at Harper before heading out of the room, they had to make sure Gaheris succeeded, for everyone’s sake.

***

Beka woke with a start and it took her a moment to realise where she was. Gaheris lay next to her, a heavy arm draped across her and his face buried in her hair. She sighed gently remembering the evening they had shared. Beka looked at the sleeping captain and more than ever wanted to stay. But Harper was better, Tyr was out of the picture, maybe things would be different but she knew it was unlikely for two reasons. Firstly, she still couldn’t continue to be part of Gaheris’ Commonwealth, she had come to believe in the ideal but she couldn’t hold with the way Gaheris went about it and Terazed more than anything convinced her of that. Secondly on a personal level she couldn’t stay with him. She loved him, she knew that now, but she was sure she could never be the sort of woman he really wanted, needed, some great Nietzschean matriarch! Now wasn’t a time in her life that she considered herself the wife and mother type and she wasn’t sure there would ever be a time like that and that was what he ultimately needed.
As gently as she could she moved his arm and slid out from his grasp, silently collecting her clothes before leaving once more.

***

As Beka stood in the hangar making a final check she sighed.
“Rommie…” Andromeda’s holo sparkled into life next to her within an instant.
“Can I help you Beka?”
“Tell Rhade…” She looked for the words.
“Tell Rhade what?” The voice behind her was flat, no trace of anger or any other emotion. “You’re doing it again Beka.”
Beka’s shoulders dropped as she turned to look at him. “I’m sorry Gaheris…”
“You can’t stay, I know.” His smile was sad.
“… but more than that. I can’t stay because part of me wants to.” Beka looked at Rommie who nodded and fizzled out of existence before heading aboard the Maru, Gaheris in her wake. Flicking a few switches Beka calmed herself a little before turning back to him. “My reasons haven’t changed. I cant stay and the longer I do the harder it gets to leave.” She leaned forward, a gentle hand on his cheek, she kissed him softly. “Please just let me go.”

***


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