Hunting Humanity XI

BY : greenwizard
Category: Supernatural > Slash - Male/Male
Dragon prints: 932
Disclaimer: I do not own the Supernatural universe. I don't get any money from this story, only entertainment.

Very early one morning Castiel met Dean in the bunker kitchen. “You have it?” Dean asked the angel.

 

“Yes.” The angel reached inside his trench coat and pulled out a small vial containing a bluish liquid. “I still advise caution. Just because he isn't in control right now doesn't mean he isn't on guard, and he's smarter than you.”

 

“I got it covered,” Dean assured his friend.

 

“I also don't know how well or how long this will bind him. Being a unique creature and all...”

 

Dean took the vial. “You've already said all this. I still insist on trying it. Leave the beast to me. Go back to Crowley and keep on Lucifer's trail.”

 

A few days later Sam's feelers brought their attention to a strange death. It sounded like it might be Lucifer, so they headed out to take a look at the body. They were walking in when the medical examiner was coming out of the exam room. “Your colleagues are already inside,” he motioned for them to head on in.

 

They walked in to find Castiel and Crowley already there. “Agents,” Crowley greeted them.

 

“Okay, this has gotta stop,” Dean sighed. “Give me that,” he ripped Crowley's FBI badge off his lapel.

 

“Armani!” Crowley cried.

 

“Okay, enough. Let's have a look,” Sam said as he pulled the sheet down on the body. The man lying on the table looked like his eyes were blown out.

 

“Looks like somebody forgot to put on his sunscreen,” Dean joked.

 

“This was Wallace Parker, the very powerful CEO of almost everything,” Castiel said.

 

Sam shook his head. “And apparently, Lucifer's latest vessel. Wasn't strong enough to hold him.” He covered the man up again.

 

“Lucifer's not content with slutting it from one random vessel to the next,” Crowley said. “He's moving on to blue chips, celebrities, captains of industry. He just got a lot more dangerous.”

 

“Or at least a lot harder to get close to,” Liam commented.

 

They went back to the bunker to keep an eye on things. Dean brought beer to Sam who was on his laptop in the library. “So, find anything?” Dean asked his brother. “Anyone powerful or respectable who suddenly changed, or exploded?”

 

“Well, this is pretty interesting.” Sam showed Dean an article about a large donation to a church. “This is the Archbishop of St. Louis with Wallace Parker.”

 

“So?” Dean didn't understand what his brother was getting at.

 

“So, that was him three days ago.” Sam scrolled through a few pictures. “And this is him last night at the opening of a food kitchen. Notice anything missing?”

 

Dean took a closer look. “Yeah, the big mother of a cross around his neck.”

 

“Exactly. And this morning his office canceled all further public appearances without comment.”

 

“Okay, so you're thinking that, uh, Lucifer blasted out of Parker and into his buddy the Archbishop here.”

 

“Worth a shot.” Sam took a quick look around. “Did you, uh...?”

 

“No, not yet,” Dean shook his head. “Since we don't know how long it'll last, and there's no sense in making it angry sooner than absolutely necessary....”

 

“You shouldn't be making it angry at all.”

 

“Sam, you saw what happened last time. You had to help him shower while I was out getting grub. He still hasn't completely bounced back. I'm protecting him from himself.”

 

“Your funeral.”

 

As soon as they could gather themselves together, they drove out to the Archdiocese of St. Louis. “It's awfully quiet,” Dean commented as they pulled up to a dark building.

 

“Yeah, I put in a dozen calls to the Chief of Staff. No one returned,” Sam said.

 

Dean parked the car. “Well, we'll have a look around. If it is Lucifer, we'll call the rest of the Scooby gang.”

 

“I keep telling you that all you need is me,” Astirau said from the backseat.

 

“And I keep telling you that you're in no position to take him,” Dean argued. “I know you know what his weakness is. You need to share so we can all exploit it.”

 

“It's me, you dumbass. I told you back at that concert he wasn't going to seriously hurt me, and he didn't.”

 

“No, you nearly killed yourself is all.”

 

“If I could at least wear him down enough so that you guys could put him back in that cage, don't you think it would be worth it?”

 

“No.”

 

The half angel rolled his eyes. “I can't believe this!”

 

Dean just shrugged. “Hey, you've known my fatal flaw ever since I traded my soul for your life. Which, by the way, don't get any ideas tonight. You're grounded for a while.”

 

Astiratu's eyes went wide. “What?” he growled. He tried to do something simple, and when nothing happened he lunged toward the front seat and started strangling Dean from behind. “Bastard!”

 

“Hey!” Sam shouted as he used all his strength to pry Astiratu's hands from around his brother's throat. “He's only trying to protect you. So take a deep breath and figure out how to help us without your power.”

 

“You left him when he had that angel possess you to save you,” Astiratu brought it up, still shaking with anger.

 

“Yeah, I did,” Sam acknowledged. “So I know how you feel right now, or at least I have some idea, but we have to put aside feelings for the moment.”

 

“What did you...? How did you...?” Astiratu looked to Dean.

 

“I have my ways,” Dean said as he got out of the car. “Now let's go.”

 

They approached the door and rang the doorbell. There was no answer. After a few minutes Dean picked the lock and they went inside. Dean flipped a light switch, but the lights didn't come on. They got out their flashlights and started looking around. They entered a room and there was signs of a major struggle. In the back corner they found a priest on the floor, bloody, but still alive. “What happened here?” Sam asked.

 

“We knew something was wrong,” the priest said weakly with a frightened expression. “He...”

 

“The Archbishop?” Dean asked.

 

“Yes. Senior staff decided to handle internally and intervene.”

 

“An exorcism.”

 

Astiratu shook his head. “Oh, you had no idea what you were up against. And if my husband wasn't such an asshole I could help you right now.”

 

“Shut up an accept it,” Dean growled.

 

They left to search the rest of the building. Bodies were everywhere. And then in the main sanctuary they found the Archbishop on the floor, his eyes burned out. “He was here, but not anymore.” Astiratu sighed.

 

The only thing they could do was go back to the bunker. Castiel came by to help, and was greeted by Astiratu with a death glare. “Let us love you,” was all Castiel could think to say. “We're not Lucifer.”

 

“What do you know about it?” the half angel snapped before taking a seat at the table.

 

Dean looked to his brother. “That hit a nerve.”

 

Sam showed Castiel some pictures from the Diocese. The angel looked almost sick. “The level of violence, it's completely unnecessary.”

 

Sam put his phone away. “Lucifer doesn't like to get messed with. I guess when the Archbishop's priests figured out he was possessed, they tried to keep it quiet, do an exorcism. I mean, not that it would've worked. Lucifer blew town, but not before he slaughtered the entire staff. So we were on the right trail. Where's it go now?”

 

“I don't know,” Dean sighed. “Who won the Nobel Peace Prize? Why don't we start there?”

 

“Think bigger,” Astiratu said. “Lucy has had a taste of power. That whole rock thing, the adoration of the fans... But of course he's going to want more. The difference between he and I is I know when to stop. Think of it like him being a raging alcoholic, and Vince was his first beer.”

 

“See, you can help with what you know,” Dean pointed out. “Why don't you and Cas look through the news. If there is anything Lucifer like going on, you'll spot it easier than we will.”

 

“Your attempt to assuage me isn't working.”

 

Dean put a laptop in front of him. “Wasn't an attempt. You really want to be of use, start looking.”

 

A little while later Castiel looked up from the newspaper he was reading. “Did the Bunker's warding fail?”

 

“I just powered it down,” Dean said as he came back into the library. “Crowley called, said he had some big news about Lucifer, whatever the hell that means.”

 

Sam's eyes narrowed at that. “Wait a second. So now Crowley can just, what, drop in whenever he feels like it? I prefer keeping Crowley at a distance. Long distance.”

 

“Not very charitable, Moose,” Crowley appeared behind them. “Particularly since, once again, I'm saving all your asses. So, as you know, I'm temporarily persona non grata in my own palace.”

 

“Yeah, something about cleaning the floor with your tongue,” Astiratu chuckled.

 

“Cute,” the demon shot him a dirty look. “At least I'm not neutered.”

 

“Don't poke him,” Dean interrupted. “Just tell us what you found out.”

 

“There are those I still control. Operatives.”

 

“Crowley, can we just get the damn news without the drama?” Sam was getting annoyed.

 

“Can I get you without the flannel? No. Still, I endure. Did a little digging, acting on a tip.” He took the laptop from Astiratu and started typing something in. “And I think I know the identity of Lucifer's newest vessel.” He turned the screen around to show them. “Gentlemen, I give you one Jefferson Rooney, President of these United States.”

 

Astiratu shook his head. “I was right again, and you morons took away my ability to do anything about it.”

 

Dean sighed and ran his hand over his face. “You're not happy, I get that. You've done nothing but bitch and make snide comments. I had my reasons. We all had our reasons. But you're supposed to be smart as well as powerful, so put that brain of yours to work.”

 

“I don't know how!”

 

“What?”

 

“My strategies, they've always gone hand in hand with my strengths. You took my power away. I don't know how fight as a normal powerless person!”

 

Dean took his hand. “Then we'll help you figure it out.”

 

“Before things get too sappy I think I'll go see mother,” Crowley said as he disappeared.

 

Castiel put the paper down. “Even if Crowley does bring in Rowena, the problem remains. Lucifer can't be returned to the cage inside his vessel. His essence has to be extracted.”

 

“I did it once, I can do it again,” Astiratu said. “Oh wait...”

 

Sam shook his head. “Lucifer has found the perfect safe house. I mean, how do we even start getting close to the president?”

 

“Well, it helps that he's not in DC,” Dean said. “He's, uh, actually on a fundraising swing through the Midwest.”

 

“Yeah, right now, it looks like his whole party; aides, Secret Service, the whole circus is staying at an estate owned by Ron Forester, the, uh, hedge fund zillionaire. It's right outside Indianapolis. But it is completely surrounded by walls, security, Secret Service, military.”

 

Dean was looking at the president's schedule. “He's got a hell of a speaking schedule. He's averaging three events a day, and he's got a gala dinner on Friday night.”

 

“Well, at least he'll be outside of the mansion,” Castiel seemed a bit hopeful at that.

 

“Yeah, guarded like the Hope Diamond,” Sam pointed out.

 

Dean looked to Astiratu. “Start using that brain. We need a plan.”

 

The half angel sighed. “I would need more information. I mean, I know he doesn't have a big picture plan, but there's a reason he chose to inhabit the president. I need to know his short term motivation, other than being revered.”

 

“Well, all we've got at the moment is the revered thing. You know him intimately, as much as I hate thinking about that. Would he see you?”

 

“Maybe, but then I'd have to come up with something to say to get him alone that won't make him suspicious. Don't forget, he knows me too.”

 

“Start thinking. I'll make you some tea.”

 

A little while later Castiel hissed and doubled over, putting his hands on his head. “Cas, what is it?” Sam asked in concern.

 

“Something's happened,” Castiel answered through gritted teeth. “Angel radio. There are so many voices.”

 

“What are they saying?”

 

“There's been a massive surge in celestial energy. A nephilim is come into being. It's the offspring of an angel and a human.”

 

“Are we talking...?” Dean motioned to Astiratu.

 

“No,” Castiel shook his head. “Not the same thing.” He started to relax a bit. “Our friend was created by God with a mix of essences. A nephilim is a biological mix.”

 

“So, we're not gonna have another one of those running around,” Dean pointed to the half angel.

 

Astiratu's eyes narrowed. “You do know I'm sitting right here.”

 

“I know, but even you can't deny that the world just can't handle another you.”

 

“This is still serious,” Castiel drew their attention back. “The power to produce this is immense. It's much, much greater than a typical angel.”

 

“Lucifer,” Sam realized.

 

“The world doesn't need a little Lucifer either,” Astiratu mumbled. “But the baby mama, that's our way in. Obviously she has access.”

 

They headed straight for Indianapolis. Sam called Crowley from the car to fill him in. “Yeah, and hey, Crowley? Uh, find out from your government mole if there's a girlfriend or a mistress or a favorite hooker. Someone we don't know about. Alright.” Sam hung up. “Crowley and Rowena will meet us in Indianapolis. Do we have a plan?”

 

“Impeach LOTUS and find Rosemary's Baby,” Dean said. Dean turned at an intersection, and next thing they knew a black SUV pulled up behind them with a siren blaring. “Crap,” Dean sighed and pulled over. “Stay here. We got this,” he said to Astiratu and Castiel as he and Sam got out of the car.

 

“Gentlemen, is there a problem?” Sam asked the guys in suits.

 

Dean pulled out his FBI badge. “Federal Agents, guys. We need to keep going.”

 

“And I need six grand by Saturday, but that ain't happening either,” one of them said.

 

“You guys know who you're talking to?” Sam asked.

 

“Winchesters,” the guy answered. “You make those toy badges in craft class on the psyche ward? Nice car, by the way. Really stands out.” The man went to grab his gun and Dean punched him.

 

While the two struggled for the gun the other two men approached Sam. “Wait a second now,” Sam tensed up.

 

Astiratu was instantly beside him. “You got this, huh?”

 

Sam grabbed one and slammed him into the Impala. Astiratu grabbed the other and snapped his neck. “Stop!” they heard the third man shout. They looked up and the guy Dean had been fighting had the gun and it was pointed at Astiratu. “Boss ordered me not to hurt you, but if you do something stupid I can't make any promises.”

 

“How sweet,” the half angel's tone was a bit sarcastic.

 

Castiel got out of the car and advanced on the man with the gun. “Cas, don't...” Dean said.

 

All eyes then turned to a black limousine that pulled up. A man in a suit got out and calmly pulled out a grenade launcher. He used it to blow up the SUV. “You. Angel. Wipe their memories,” he spoke to Castiel in a British accent. The man with the gun tried to get up with a groan, but the new arrival kicked him in the face. He turned to the men. “US government plates. Elite dogcatcher level. Someone special wants you. Whose hydrant have you lads been tinkling on?”

 

“I'm sorry. Who the hell are you?” Dean asked.

 

“Oh. Where are my manners? Arthur Ketch. British Men of Letters.”

 

“Interesting,” Astiratu mumbled as he sized the man up.

 

The mess on the road was quickly cleaned up and they moved to a little quiet place in the woods to sit around a fire and talk. “So it's all very simple, really,” Mr. Ketch started to explain. “Mick Davies asked you to join our effort, which we're taking international. My instructions are to strongly encourage a yes.”

 

“So, what? You've just been following us?” Castiel asked.

 

“Not at all. We're good dogs. We only come when called.” He motioned to Sam. “And he called.”

 

“You what?” Dean shot his brother a glare.

 

“I didn't!” Sam protested. “I hung up.”

 

“Yes, you did,” Mr. Ketch confirmed. “Which made Mr. Davies think that you were in trouble, which you were. So he rings me. Bing, bang, boom. Meet Bob. He's your uncle. Oh, and, um, you're welcome.”

 

“I could've handled it,” Astiratu grumbled.

 

Mr. Ketch chuckled. “Yes, I've been warned about you. Bit of a mysterious wild card, you are.”

 

Dean snorted at that. “Oh, you have no idea. But why should we believe anything that you have to say?”

 

“You, Halo,” Mr. Ketch looked to Castiel. “Do you sense I'm lying?”

 

“My name is Castiel. And no. But the truth can be situational.”

 

“Oh, I do enjoy an angel. But I understand your hesitation. You haven't exactly seen us at our best. Lady Bevell is a bit excitable.”

 

Astiratu raised an eyebrow. “That's what you call her trying to kill us?”

 

“Like I said, excitable.”

 

“And you're better?” Sam asked.

 

“I don't care about you one way or the other. I'm not an ideologue.”

 

“And all you wanna do is help these American hunters to clear this country of monsters?” Castiel asked.

 

“We understand things are different here. We're eager to collaborate. The British Men of Letters are centuries old, lads. We can offer expertise, weaponry, skills.”

 

“Like we saw out on the road?” Sam referred to him blowing up the car.

 

“I'm an artist, Mr. Winchester.” With his key remote he popped open the trunk of his car. “I paint in many colors.”

 

“Was that a grenade launcher?” Dean asked.

 

“Quite.” He went over to his trunk. “Our engineers have spent years blending sorcery and technology. For instance, we don't always decapitate vampires. Inefficient, really, especially for large nests.” He pulled out one of his weapons. “We irradiate them, reorder their DNA. Their own blood becomes lethal to them.”

 

“Well then, I guess I'm glad the parents of my current self left Ireland,” Astiratu said as he eyed the object. “But then again, what happened may not have then.”

 

“I beg pardon?”

 

“Nothing, just a long and boring story that is no longer relevant.”

 

“The toys are the fun part.” He pulled out what looked like a golden egg with ancient symbols etched on it. “Hyperbolic Pulse Generator. Exorcisms are unreliable. This device emits a force which drives the possessing demon from the vessel.”

 

A light went off in Astiratu's eyes. “Would it clear out any possession? Like maybe an angel perhaps?”

 

“And what might you boys be working on?” Mr. Ketch was intrigued.

 

“Well, you want us to trust you, you're gonna have to trust us first,” Dean said.

 

“And that means?”

 

“Letting us borrow your pulse thingy,” Astiratu answered. “We'd like to perform an experiment. And if it works, and I'm in a good mood, we'll fill you in then.”

 

Mr. Ketch gave it some thought. “I suppose I can agree to that.”

 

“It won't force you out, will it?” Dean whispered to Astiratu.

 

“I wouldn't think so. I didn't take this vessel from anyone. It's been mine since birth. Only me in here.”

 

They took their shiny new toy back to the bunker and called Crowley to fill him in. Dean pulled the device out of a cloth bag to show him. “So you're gonna pop Lucifer out of the president with that?” Crowley didn't seem impressed.

 

“I hope so. Otherwise, we're all dead,” Dean said as he put the device back in the bag. “Then Rowena zaps him back to the cage. Of course, we gotta get him here first.”

 

Sam nodded. “Yeah. We need to get a hold of this, uh, secret girlfriend Crowley found out about. This Kelly. Of course, she's in that mansion with the president, which is guarded like a fortress. Only one of us has a chance of getting in there.”

 

All eyes turned to Crowley. “Bollocks,” he sighed.

 

“I would help you, but you got a hold of a certain very rare substance for Castiel so he could make me pretty useless.”

 

“What can I say, you make me nervous.”

 

Dean snorted at that. “He makes everyone nervous. I love you, but you're a drunk monkey with a high powered assault rifle.”

 

The half angel rolled his eyes. “Offense taken.”

 

They went back toward Indianapolis, but chose an out of the way motel. Crowley teleported to Kelly, and then came back to the motel with her. She was of course freaked out, but they tried to explain to her what was going on. She just shook her head at hearing all of it. “No, you're making it up. It's impossible.”

 

“Well, to be fair, so is teleporting,” Dean pointed out. “But ta-da!”

 

“Who are you people?”

 

“Well, dear, I'm a witch,” Rowena said. “And he's an angel,” she motioned to Castiel.

 

Crowley raised his hand. “And I'm the King of Hell.”

 

“Oh god,” she groaned.

 

“No, actually, he left,” Castiel said.

 

“Okay, guys, not helping,” Sam shot them a look.

 

Kelly still didn't look like she believed them. “You can't... He's the president.”

 

Sam knelt down in front of her. “He was, but now... Tell me he hasn't been acting different.”

 

“Jeff's been under a lot of stress. He...”

 

“Wrong. He's the Devil,” Crowley said again. “Horns, pitchfork, the whole nine.”

 

“Crowley, still not helping,” Sam growled. Then he turned back to Kelly. “Listen, we know what we're talking about here. We have been on Lucifer's trail for a long time.”

 

“And I... Well, that would take a very long time to explain,” Astiratu joined the conversation. “Let me guess. Lately your Jeff has been very amorous, and the sex is mind blowing. He does this thing with your ear...” he visibly shivered and bit his lip at the thought. “And he seems to always know exactly what to say. Very honeyed words that seep into your soul, but words are all they are. He doesn't do anything meaningful. It's all just great sex and compliments.”

 

Kelly went a little pale. “Have you been watching me?”

 

“No. Same song and dance, different partner. I know him, Lucifer that is. And we know you're carrying his child.”

 

“That's... You're lying.”

 

“The thing inside you, it's unholy,” Castiel said as he grabbed a bible out the nightstand drawer. “It's an abomination. Place your hand here.” He held the bible in front of her.

 

She looked skeptical, but placed her hand on the bible. Instantly there was a sizzling noise and her hand print seared into the cover before the book burst into flames. Dean grabbed the trash can and when Castiel dropped the burning bible into it Dean poured water on it.

 

“No...” Kelly went pale again.

 

“Does he even know you're knocked up?” Dean asked her.

 

She nodded. “Yes, he... He said he was thrilled. He said it was the only time he ever created anything.”

 

“Which is an odd thing for a normal president to say,” Astiratu pointed out. “But for Lucifer, a very true statement.”

 

Sam looked her straight in the eye. “Kelly, we need your help.”

 

She took a few moments to gather her thoughts. “Everything you're saying is insane, but... What do you need me to do?”

 

They had her call Lucifer and tell him that she wasn't so sure about the baby. She wanted him to meet her at the motel so they could talk somewhere private. They knew the Secret Service was going to be involved, so Castiel hid in a closet, and the rest of them in an adjoining room. As the agents searched the room Castiel used a mind trick when he was discovered, and the agents left. Lucifer came in shortly after. “Kelly, what's wrong?” he asked in a caring tone.

 

She was clearly nervous, but she stuck to the plan. “I told you on the phone. I can't have this baby.”

 

Lucifer's eyes turned red as he grabbed Kelly by the throat and slammed her against the wall. “I'm afraid I'll have to insist.”

 

The side door opened and Astiratu entered the room, with Sam and the pulse generator right behind him. “Believe us now?” the half angel asked Kelly.

 

Lucifer just chuckled. “Of course you're behind this. Jealous, or...? We've done this dance so many times. I don't want to hurt you, believe me on that, but if you keep coming after me like this...”

 

“I'm not worried,” Astiratu smirked and boldly approached Lucifer. Everyone watched in surprise as Astiratu gave Lucifer a tender kiss on the lips. “I had to give you a proper goodbye, but I really do hope we never meet again.”

 

He signaled Sam to start the pulse generator. Sam said the words to activate it and a bright white light shot out of the device and straight at Lucifer's chest. Lucifer growled, shoving Astiratu to the floor and he made a gesture toward Dean, but nothing happened. “Rowena, now!” Dean shouted.

 

Rowena had already set the spell up and she started chanting. “This isn't over!” Lucifer cried as the light bulbs in the room exploded.

 

Rowena finished the chant and Lucifer was forced out of the body and down the vent. The president collapsed onto the floor. Castiel moved to check on him. “He's alive. He won't remember a thing.”

 

A few tears appeared in Kelly's eyes. “Oh, Jeff. Oh god.”

 

“We gotta go. Get her out of here,” Sam motioned for Castiel to leave with Kelly.

 

“Wait,” she protested.

 

“Kelly, you gotta go.”

 

“We got Lucifer,” Dean looked proud of himself. “But you...” he helped Astiratu off the floor.

 

“No need for jealousy,” the half angel said as he dusted himself off. “A proper goodbye is just good manners.”

 

The president started to wake with a soft groan. “Mr. President,” Sam knelt beside him.

 

Then the Secret Service busted in the door. “Hands on your heads!” one of them shouted while they all pointed their guns at the men.

 

“Chill, he just fainted,” Astiratu said calmly.

 

“I said hands on your heads!”

 

“Okay, listen, we were just trying to-” Sam started to try and explain.

 

“Shut up!” he was interrupted. “You're under arrest for the attempted assassination of the President of the United States.”

 

“If I really wanted him dead, he would be, no attempt about it,” Astiratu said as he was handcuffed and they were all led out to an armored transport vehicle. “Somebody had a sad childhood,” he mumbled as they were put in the vehicle.

 

“Now you're not helping,” Dean shot him a glare as the door was slammed shut. “What are we gonna do now?”

 

“Working on it,” the half angel replied.



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